Online Dating in the FABULOUS 50’s & still sexy phase of life** COMING VERY SOON

Waving to y’all! My fingers are itching to blog on this topic..Been too long since I last blogged or blog read; and I’ve missed it. Promised to blog on this for a minute now…And? I think or hope the fieldwork I’ve done can serve to help others seeking love in the 50s..Want to know why 11% of American adults have tried out an online dating site? Well now I’m officially one of them. Hmmmm hang onto your hats, caps, wigs & weaves..Will be spilling the goods this evening..STAY TUNED & BUCKLE UP

the Privilege of Life

I was planning to join (& write..) the zero to hero wordpress challenge..And then life happened..Ever notice how even the best laid plans can be interrupted? That is more than just an age- old cliche..Got news today that has my thoughts circling..Tried to put pen to paper to let it flow poetically(which is usually how I vent the best) ; but my heart isn’t in it. >>

The news I got today was about a very, very good family friend..One of my Dad’s dearest/closest/best friends & someone I consider special indeed..One of those people who serves others(including running a program to feed the needy) almost every, single day of the year..When tragic things happen to such people? It truly tests my own faith..I’m struggling right now to understand WHY bad things happen to such good people..And all the while through my struggle this day, I’ve been in silent prayer..All day long. But it is still so very tough>>

Truth of the matter is none of us knows what is around the bend..My exMominLaw used to tell me that & in my youthful naïve nature; I didn’t understand. Now that I’m all grown UP and seen/lived so much more; her words make much more sense..Life IS precious! So many clichés & adages are flooding my mind right now..I’m sure most of y’all reading have heard them all..BUT how often do we stop during the day to appreciate life as healthy , somewhat sane and normal (although my definition of normal has changed as I’ve aged..) people? How often do we give thanks to our Creator for allowing us to live/love another day? Gratitude..Gratitude for good health & excellent healthcare!..Serving others..Spreading love..Appreciating our family/friends every single day! ..PRAYER..Those are the new phrases I’m adding to the so-called sentiment for 2014..Life isn’t a right, it is indeed a privilege; and in an instant it can change drastically..LIVE* LOVE* LAUGH*>>End of vent<<

UPDATE= Seems like a dozen days have passed since yesterday, when I wrote(or rather vented this) Waited till after further tests revealed there will NOT have to be a second surgery! That is awesome news for someone in their latter 70s(a very active 70something)..No one wants to hear they have a couple of brain clots..And it was highly disturbing to hear it about someone I consider a loved one..The doctors are 80% optimistic of his recovery chances and! he’s able to speak and is FULLY coherent..The lesson I learned is that is it harder to let go of concerns and just let GOD; than just saying IT. I also learned that this was a blessing in disguise; worst option would’ve been for the clots to cause a stroke or worse..Much as I stand by my faith/believe in God/and speak of having faith? I was walking a shaky line of uncertainty yesterday..Silently I was asking God WHY, why , why and why some more..Had friends pray with me and from coast to coast praying; for a person they didn’t even know. What a demanding/taxing friend I can BE..Yet, I’m elated my friends(including WordPress readers!) always, always come through for me(no matter what I ask them to pray for/about) Thanks be to a remarkable God for everything! >>*The official end of my vent*

Moving Forward to 2014..

In the next couple days, I like many others, will take into account my personal past year in review..I had a long list of goals/resolutions for 2013..Honestly, I can profess I accomplished all but two things that were on my list..By far that accounts for the closest I’ve ever stuck to my list of 2do’s/must do’s/and wannado’s..Not sure about y’all but my personal mission statement(Got one?) is to never sit still doing nothing..Just don’t think we were created to just be or do nothing! Nevertheless I’m very excited about moving forward to 2014..WOW I can hardly believe it is almost here. Already! Ready? Get set..

REALITY Check Time*Yep, even at 50 I’m still learning*

Gotta preface this write by saying..ALL of us fall short of perfection..Top that with I’ve NEVER met a perfect person..And last but not least I personally feel some of the most-righteous-acting-people? In my experience they can be some of the most jacked UP folks of all…I know because I used to be one of them..Used to think I could successfully dot my Ts all the time & that my shiiiite didn’t stink..Until life experiences not only humbled me; but also I learned my most perfect attribute ? My IMperfections & that I’m so very, very human..Y’all ready for this? Diving in head first! >>

Ever say something to someone else & you realize YOU could do well to heed those very words? Recently I said something to a girlfriend and had a HUGE aha! moment..Plus I had a hot flash at the same time(danggg only negative part about my surgery!); which sort of further cemented the moment in my memory. In that very instant it became clear to me I was in need of a self-tune-up-type-of-reality-check..I used to be my own worst critic; helped me to self-motivate. These days instead I try to make sure I keep myself in check and on track..Worked too hard to get here to allow myself to lose focus, however, I am like I said before very human>>

Anyways as I was saying I was talking to a friend recently..I was beginning to say something to her & almost had to BITE my tongue off! What I was about to say was nothing NICE..It was harsh indeed. And? It was about her husband. Ugh! Mind you stopping myself mid-thought-mid-sentence is NO easy task..I can talk UP a storm! Jeeeeez however she means a great deal to me; so I some kind of way stopped myself..Then? I did something I’ve never ‘eva done before..I asked her to pretty please limit what she told me in the future about her husband. Why? Because I won’t be held responsible for what I might say in response..I don’t like him; point-blank! Bad thing? I’ve never met him. Ouch! I hate admitting that part; but its the truth. Yet? I can’t stand even thinking about sharing the same air with him..One might ask how can I not like someone I don’t know??!? Simply said my thoughts/mind has been polluted after ALL of the awful, ugly things I’ve heard about him. From his own wife..And? She IS one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Real talk for real. Am I wrong for pre-judging someone? Yep! absolutely…Nonetheless that doesn’t change how I feel about him. It does , however, cause me to pause and realize OMG that is SO UNchristian of me@pre-judging. Again, for the record let me state as I pre-stated I am so very, very human>>

Goooood grief! The list of rules, regulations, thou-shalt nots, thou-shalt can’ts IS getting longer by the day..Or? Am I just more cognizant since my Confirmation? Hmmmm But I totally didn’t like the idea I was pre-judging someone I didn’t know. Even though I trust the words of my girlfriend; I don’t like being pre-judged myself. So why am I doing it to someone else? It is after all something I’ve tried so hard never to do..Been burned earlier this very year; by not pre-judging someone based on words of a reliable source. Nevertheless judging others is something I don’t care to partake in. As a result? I find myself propelled into a self-reality check fest>>

Found myself telling someone to hush in church this morning..The yapping was messing UP my vibe from the excellent homily and the Gospel flow from our singing..Then? Bam! Hit me, figuratively speaking, square in the forehead..I’ve yapped in church before, OMG, whose vibe did I screw with at those times? Does it mean one can’t correct others when they’ve been guilty of same in the near-past? Pfft! If that was the case as parents we could never correct our offspring..I think what it means is that I, like other folks, am so very, very HUMAN. Honestly? I don’t want it to be any other way..This learning from experience stuff is getting more FUN the older I get. I think the most wonderful part is now I catch MYself mid-stroke..And I’m still learning>>

The learnings of reality checking? For me? Invaluable & priceless..When I take the time to do it forces me to reflect on reality vs. My Reality..Many folks don’t realize those two things can differ at times..Often times we “think” we’re behaving in a certain manner & yet others perceive us acting otherwise. OR one can find themselves, as I recently did, partaking in something they/I don’t care to partake in. Like judging folks..How often I’ve heard folks say they don’t like this or that celebrity. Wth? Never even met that person..And yet I did the very same thing with my friends husband..Yep, shit happens when you’re human and I suppose even when you’re not honest about it! The good news? Every day brings promise of fresh starts in every possible way..Translation? It is never too late to do a quick reality check to get back on track. That is a wrap for now folks..So until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever Sincere, Berna(the 1 & Only)

****Rose Colored View****Beauty in the Struggle^For the life-loving-lovers

**The PRELUDE**

Herstory ..

From my front row seat the view is fabulously  splendid

Huefully rose-colored in more than one way

Once a wallflower yet now having my say

Skillfully I dance upon this tight rope called Life

Hanging ON when the clouds bring with them strife

Withstanding dark days with less & less protest

Stimulates growth

Gracefully aging and feeling the most; my best..

Yet

From then to here to say the least has been..long

In

The

Making

My spirit and voice now sing a SOULful song

No longer do I feel a need to belong

For I am free to be uniquely ME

At one with myself to just..Be

Knees buckle but still I stand back UP

Not half as easy as I make this look

Chaos in the world can’t shake my beliefs~

I have arrived

Life is a journey and not just a rat race

I

Am

Far more to me than just a pretty body & face

Scratch beneath the surface

Deeper..

I was reading up on an entirely different topic recently; when I ran across this one. Odd thing IS, I’ve been accused(and rightly so..) of viewing life through rose-colored glasses/always looking for the good in people/seeing things sunny side UP/viewing the glass as half-full and not half -empty..What folks don’t know; nor do I bother taking time to explain; is this wasn’t always the case. But truthfully? Life is so much better and fulfilling in this phase of my journey..Everydangday is a party; almost. Or rather close enough>

Digging deeper..—” A University of Toronto study provides the first direct evidence that our mood literally changes the way our visual system filters our perceptual experience suggesting that seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses is more biological reality than metaphor“…

In short, is your reality different than mine based on how you view things? Or is reality a concrete concept?>

“Good and bad moods literally change the way our visual cortex operates and how we see,” says Adam Anderson, a U of T professor of psychology.  “Specifically our study shows that when in a positive mood, our visual cortex takes in more information, while negative moods result in tunnel vision. The study appears in the Journal of Neuroscience.

The U of T team used functional magnetic resonance imaging to examine how our visual cortex processes sensory information when in good, bad, and neutral moods.  They found that donning the rose-coloured glasses of a good mood is less about the colour and more about the expansiveness of the view.”(Quotes taken from ScienceDaily.com)

Couldn’t this translate to not seeing things through rose-colored glasses means having a “narrow” view of things? Likewise folks who do see more of things & given situations? Whats the best view? Does the reality of the situation or the interpretation hold more weight? Haven’t studies also shown a positive attitude is good for overall health & well being? I think so because thats my reality; but I’m open to feedback on whats working for YOU..

 

^Are U Who U Were Supposed To B?

This is DAY 1 of the rest of my life journey…WOW..Every , single morning when I rise at O dark thirty that is my 2nd thought. Real talk. My first thought is to thank my GOD for waking me..Inofitself, even in excellent health; that IS a blessing. I am fighting the urge to free flow this morning lyrically; but it is coming. And good news? I’ve found a poetic partner! (but thats another topic for another time & post..) Constantly during this part of my spiritual & life journey; I question the self part of moi(me). Am I the person I was created to be? Am I getting closer to my GOD given purpose? Am I who I was supposed to B along the journey? Yep, as usual my questions have questions…Am I living the answers?

I think, yes, I am becoming myself. Finally, I am the me I was supposed to B..As I strive to reach all of my goals(spiritually,physically,love relationship/career/education/personal goals..) and pushing myself to do more & more in a day; slowly but surely I’m getting closer. To? Living UP to my GOD given purpose..I’m not there yet & I just know it. I feeeeel it. Without a doubt “HE” isn’t finished with me/”HE” is still working on me/”HE” is for sure working THROUGH me..I can feel it as sure as I’m sitting here. Which inofitself is nothing short of a miracle! Even just a few years back I wasn’t feeling nor seeing “HIM”; I’d grown numb. Impossible as that seems, with  as much as I possess  feelings/passion!/creativity/energy/vibrance; I’d grown numb. And if that can happen to me..certainly it can happen to anyone.

I’ve learned that nothing in this lifetime is impossible. Nada. Rien. Niente. Nihilum. With GOD and a positive attitude in our lives; not even what seems out of our reach is impossible. WE and I am limited more by what we “think” we can’t accomplish; than by what is factual. I’ve lived and learned that the  hard way. And now that I’m on the other side of that ephiphany?!? WOW. Not even I can truly express in it words..it just feels good. Alot. And it flows as naturally from me as the sun shining. If my words have inspired one person reading this to “reflect” on working to become self; I’ll be content. Positive vibes spread like wild fire…Pass it on. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed! 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 and Only)