Posted in =Self Discovery=

HAPPINESS is a Direction..NOT a Place>>

I struggled to think of a happy topic to leave as my last blog prior to surgery..And then it hit me! I’ll blog on a topic I’ve come to LOVE. The pursuit of happiness..>>

**Happiness is a direction, not a place** Quote by Sydney J Harris

It is my belief that happiness IS relative..I believe it is based on what OUR expectation of happiness IS..Have you thought about what your definition of happiness IS? And IF not; how can you reach a state of being that you’ve not yet defined? Hmmmm..Well I’ve thought about what my utopic state would be in all aspects. I don’t base my happiness on other folks “appearance” of being happy either..I do NOT believe that money buys happiness nor does beauty..Lets take Halle Berry for example. Voted without a doubt as one of the world’s most beautiful women. And to boot she is rich…Yet, based on some of her actions/behavior not for ALL the tea in China would I trade shoes with Halle. Lest anyone forget she had a hit & run incident in which she left a person maimed! When she showed UP in court with a band-aid on her face, and the victim bandaged from head-to-toe in a wheelchair, I didn’t see view that as a person who was HAPPY. Not as defined by my happy meter. And IF they’d tested her alcohol level that night??? I’m sure that her day in court would’ve ended totally different..For the record? I think Halle is a beautiful woman. (even sans make-up she is beautiful) But in addition I’d like to add EVEN Halle can’t pull off wearing this outfit..Pregnant or not, beautiful or not; this is ONE ugly arse outfit!!! Gets a zero on my happy meter>>

Now there are some that would have us believe that HAPPINESS is a constant state of mind..I firmly believe that is a load of poppycock! Who on this earth is happy ALL the time? I’d like to see what that type of person looks like..So IF you’re out there please hold your hand UP; and post a picture. Please..I’ve lived a long time. 50 years and counting..Thank God for that every single day..Anyways I digress..Long as I’ve lived even the happiest folks I know ; have days they’re in a FUNK. I have come to feel it is a normal part of life..The trick IS snapping ourselves out of those funk-mood-type-of-moments/days. And guess what? WE have the power to do just that. I know because I do it. And IF I can do it, anyone can. It works if you work IT..Works the opposite way as well though..We can downspiral with our thoughts/moods in the same fashion. But when one learns themselves(which I feel is the key…) can change the motion of those negative thoughts when they begin. Some of us have things that can trigger those negative thoughts & by all costs WE must nip them in the bud..I’m an expert on such things for I’ve lived it; and learned to combat it. Happiness IS a direction & that direction can be a constant forward motion>>

Riddle me this..How can any of us truly know what happiness feels like; If we’ve not lived through the opposite feeling? Known as sad moments/events/experiences…Also known as rainy days. Many who truly know me know I simply HATE rainy days! I honestly do..Having lived on the Right Coast(Cali..West Coast still RULES..) for the better part of 20 yrs I’ve not seen a lot of rain. However , I did live through some really rainy blue down days there..On the flip side of that? In my new home on the Left Coast(Ahhh but I’m growing to love it here too..) I’ve seen a TON of rain outside..Yet, because of the frame of mind I’m in now? Even walking outside on the darkest of rainy days; I’m full of laughter/smiles/and JOY..Sometimes one can dance in the rain even when they HATE the rain..It is a force-learned habit..I just refuse to let the unhappy moments take over my life ever again. And IF I can do it; anyone can>>

When is the last time you thought about what it would take for you to BE happy? What is your utopia? And what are YOU doing to make it come about? Did you know that being happy IS a choice we can make? >>

I think most of us FIGHT to be happy..IN a world full of negative images/sound clips/boob tube flicks/unheavenly things going on from America to kingdom come; we’ve NO choice but to sink or swim..We can choose to sink down into the muck & mire OR fight/claw our way on and UPward to happiness. I feel happiness though differs for all of us. Some of us might be happy as a kid in a candy store living in an 800 square foot cute Lil apartment! While others might require a 5,000 square foot house for them to be happy..But I once met folks living on skid row in Los Angeles that were full of laughter & joy & SMILES. I’d not have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes..It was a field trip my exMominLaw took me on that I’ll never forget. Taught me, humbled me!, that being happy doesn’t cost a dime. God gives us a chance at happiness every time he wakes us UP. Or so its my belief..My happiness is driven by simple things.* Being a LOVED child of God. LOVE in my life. Security. Peace in my home/Within my family/On my job. LOVE of my career. Strong Personal Relationships with my family & my extended family of friends. LOVE in my life that surrounds me & comforts me. & Peace of mind * Any/Everything else in my life is extra. Took me a long time to realize that. And I am happy. At long last..Well y’all that’s a wrap until post-surgery. I can say I’ll miss YOU all! Miss me while I’m away…Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted & BLESSED. 4ever Sincere, Berna(the 1 & Only)

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Don’t 4get to show me some LOVE while I’m away!!! I won’t feel like writing but trust & believe I’ll be reading

Posted in =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words

>U Bring Light 2 The World..Let Your Little Light Shine!>

Well…do U?  Do you light the room up when you walk in; and folks are drawn 2 your light?  Or when you enter a room; do people scatter like roaches suddenly finding a cazillion things to do..Lets rap>

For anyone out there that lives in a spot, where fireflies exist, I wish I could see them! I recall backintheday loving the way their light lit UP the night ..My bro and I fondly called them what they were@lightening bugs.(well we were little at the time & thought everyone called them that) I think as people , like moths, many of us are drawn to the light..This is true without many even knowing it; we’re drawn to light just as day’light’ affects our moods & energy levels. (affects our chronobiological system) Now that I’m living “an intentional life”; and not just letting life happen 2 me..such things interest me far more than ever before. And learning more about it has impacted my life in immeasurable positive ways, countless, and the number is still climbing…

I’m of the belief we can speak(or think)  things in or out of existence…I said this to someone recently; and being the wonderfully inquisitive person she is she asked me” Do you really believe that?!? ” My answer was/is yep, I sure do! Why? Because the mind is a trip…literally. WE can convince our selves of things no one else can! For instance, have you ever walked into an interview knowing/feeling/exhibiting like YOU are the best candidate for that position?? I don’t give a dang if there are a cazillion other candidates that applied for that ONE job..you just know & feel deep down in your bones/spirit/mind that YOU were created to do that job the BEST? Well, IF you walked in thinking the opposite; just think how that would impact your attitude thus affecting how you  interview. In a negative manner…

For the record my disclaimer & my truth I live IS..I believe every single  word my fingertips stroke here. I don’t paint a picture this vividly that I can’t see. My paintbrush is enormous! And I  am living my life in bold, bright(yep I love bright colors) fabulous colors..Just yesterday I got a double-dose of bad news..News that were I the person I usedtoB could’ve/would’ve floored me. But I’ve learned, yearn to learn more, and am learning..myself and to live an intentional life. WE all have choices in this life. With concerted effort we can overcome and ride through ANY storm. I’m relentless now and majority of days my inner light flows out effortlessly..There is a song I don’t have time to dig up for ya’ll right now; thats called “I’m gonna let my little light shine” (or something close to that..) And I believe we all have the power within US; to do just that. Can’t we be the light we want to see in the world? I think we can and I think it will make the world a much better place..if we do just that. So today , and even on days (like this day is for me…) ; when you just don’t feel like you can muster UP the strength to let your little light shine..let it shine anyway. Know why? Because someone out there that usually shines so effortlessly, like lil ole me, might just need to vibe off the warmth of your light..So just bring IT. Time to prepare for church so until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~Poetry A Berna Original~, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

**I am so HIGH..**

I am so high on life..

Deliciously and naturally  smashed

*My old way of thinking/feeling/BEing?*

Cached

Somewhere far away backintheday…

Before

I

Was

Here

I’m reaching higher and higher

Called my own cease fire

From my old worst opposition

In a forever state of remission

The she that used to be me..

I am so high on life!

Stressing less & less

Useless

I confess..

Didn’t get here on my own

Even though I’m quite grown

Finally !  learned I’d never walked alone..

Before

I

Was

Here

But no more talk of days gone by & yester-years

Long forgotten past haunts ,pursuits and fears

Manipulating  A,B,Cs with my pen to the max

Vibing floetically my mental is set on: relax

Sashaying thru life while to myself staying true

Free at last! to do what only I can do as I do

So unlike..

Before

I

Was

Here

I am so high on life that I can kiss the sky

Any higher I might just think I really can fly     

Laughing out loud so much from the inside out

No longer restrained and free of self doubt

Wrapped UP in my uniqueness & originality rules

Bringing it back till its once again “in” ; even cool

My eyes lifted up to the heavens so  thankful my God is patient

HE walked beside me all the while and long before I believed..

I’ve left behind all the things I thought I knew and perceived

Before

I

Was

Here ~

High on life

 

 

 

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Post a Day 2013, ^^Thought Provoking^^

~Straight, No Chaser..~

~A woman’s essence is impenetrable..

~A woman’s essence is impenetrable..

~A woman’s essence is impenetrable..

~A woman’s essence is impenetrable..It IS the very definition of who she IS. Makes the she that is she..she. The true beauty of a woman stems far beyond the swell of her hips/bounce of her fanny/fullness of her lips/LOVEliness of her facial features..it is seen from in her eyes. For that is the doorway to her heart and is where love never lays dormant. As she ages the depth of her essence will  flourish and evolve in ways that surprise even her.  Her spirit, her soul!, will emerge from all she says and does..it can’t be dimmed nor stunted. It just flows naturally as a brook babbles..Her walk is  her own and can’t be duplicated; for she owns IT. Each graceful( and sometimes clumsy) step is deliberate yet  spontaneous….Passion springs from her words that come from within without prompting. When she laughs it comes from the inside out and it can hardly be muted..Laughter that was kept at bay through walking through, under, and over hurdles taller than she. A woman that embraces her inner being cherishes the flaws that make her original & unique. The one and only created by her Father to be all she can BE. She has grown to recognize she IS perfectly imperfect..If she engages in conversation she is sharing a piece of herself in every single unrehearsed word..Her light is SO  bright that even the darkest of nights or surroundings can’t silence it..She simply REFUSES  to be corrupted. Freeeee in her own skin that has taken years to acquire. When a woman learns her own essence it consistently shows itself in her words/her actions/her thoughts..Pure, unadulterated and totally undiluted reflections of who she IS shines through her exterior biological makeup. When she walks into a room she comes with all of her hopes and unspoken fears…A cazillion reasons for why she is there in the room; but don’t ask her. If you watch her/read her/listen to hear/feel her..you’ll experience her true beauty. Her essence can’t be denied and knows NO envy for it stands out in any crowd..the she that is SHE~

**Written by me about my OWN essence..I hope/pray for all my Sista‘s/Sisters out there ya’ll can embrace yourself, hug yourself!, know yourself /LOVE yourself..2 also write/express /recognize your own essence as well. Took me years N years N many moons to “see” mine/LOVE mine/embrace mine @ essence …4ever sincere Berna(the one & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Post a Day 2013, ~To B Continued, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

^HIGH Maintenance Alert^ Recently I was asked if I was ~N~ my response was a FAT fib..

^Setting UP the scene for ya’ll which brings this topic to mind:  During my weekly lunch breaks I head to the Mall sometimes.  2 squeeeeeze in alot of walking( GREAT exercise) while I window shop. Sooooo on this particular day I’d walked past a DEAL I had to stop in to check out..Shoes, shoes and rows of shoes on sale for 50% OFF..OMG, my ideal of   heaven!..Anywayz I was leaning down strapping on a pair of heels when I heard this voice say. ” Those compliment your legs”. I looked UP and there was the HOTTEST(his picture is probably listed on google somewhere under ‘incredibly SEXY & fineeeeee’)  brother I’ve seen  since moving cross country almost 14 months prior. For a  minute I thought I was dreaming. ( I do alot of that lately..) I had to blink twice to make sure I was really seeing him. BUT , I wanted to remain smoooooth and composed. So I opened my mouth and said something really stupid! “How long have you been standing there watching me???”  And then? Instead of giving me a sassy retort ; this brother began to “use” the very dating technique which I thought! I’d mastered..until he began to use IT. And blew my hair back with his questions. He began to interview me , right then & there, on the spot! With me, caught very OFF guard, these were my answers…

…His answer..”I’ve been watching you long enough to know I’m interested in knowing more about you”..OOooo I thought to myself, goooood answer. Then he said, ” Do you have a minute to humor me?” So I said,”I’ll give you 15 minutes as you walk me to my car because I’ve got to get back to work”..I  had no clue he was getting ready to give me his own interview questions. Quickly, but he managed to get it done. Told me to answer in one word or two if possible..OMG he doesn’t know I’ve got an issue with brevity! My stomach was doing a combination of somersaults and butterflies..didn’t know if I was going to vomit or explode from nervousness. I hoped! I didn’t look as nervous as I felt and yet also very..excited N intrigued. HE was(is) different from the onset. And I truly dig different & unique..

He began with ” Are you seeking a relationship? And if so, do you know what type? ”  I answered, yes/yes. “Whats your biggest pet peeve? I answered, married or taken men that hit on me. “Whats your idea of your favorite date night? ” Hmmm this will take more than 2 words. I’m picked up by my date. He has chosen the place and not told me. I love being surprised! He has planned something that is special, took forethought, and something that will involve quality time spent. “If you could have any superpower what would it be? And why? ” Ooooo good one! I wish I could magically give all hungry people food, all homeless people homes, and all people without love in their lives, love! Because love can make all things possible and I don’t feel anyone should be hungry, homeless or without experiencing love. “What is one of the most embarassing moments in your life?” Ugh, had alot of those! But one of them was the time I ran into a parked car one morning on the way to work. Longggg time ago cause I know how to drive now. VERY embarassing and I had my eldest son in the car with me…He said, “Damn that is a pretty bad one! Were you both ok?” I said, yes, how thoughtful of you to ask that…”What physical feature do you like most about yourself?” I said, my lips. “What physical feature do you hate about yourself?” I said, my oily skin. “Who is someone you wish you were closer to?” I said that is an easy one, GOD. And I’m working on that daily. “Are you high maintenance?” WOW things were rolling along SO well. We had just reached my car. This was the first time I’d paused before answering…How the heck am I supposed to answer that??!??? Especially when I think I know the answer and I’m big on this is ME take me as I am; BUT no one has ever asked me this!!!! And then I opened my mouth and told a bold faced lie. Which because I knew I was telling a lie has got to be a double whammy SIN. I couldn’t look him in the face when I answered. So I started fumbling with my keys and mumbling I had to go back to work. Danggggggg why did he have to ask that question???? *sigh* He was watching my every move and I suddenly felt like he could see every bit of me. Including my soul..I opened my mouth and said “No , I’m not high maintenance. I’m totally self-efficient” Wth was I saying?? And doing? And why?!? I don’t even know this dude. He could be a mass murderer for all I know. A stalker! A pervert. He looked down at me(talllll and fineeee) and said “That is the first time you’ve lied to me. And its good to see you don’t lie well at all…*pregnant pause*  May I have your cell number?” ~~~

Fast forward to that evening…I was talking to my Mom and said I don’t think I’m high maintenance ; do you? OMG My Mom couldn’t answer fast enough! Bottom line is she said yep! you are but not in a bad way…What is that supposed to mean??? Anyways the Mall brother has called every week about twice a week since then…. He’s an attorney who is going to be relocating here from cross country. Was here briefly to survey the area to see if he wanted to take a job offer..He’s a divorced attorney with a daughter in college. Asked me if I’d go out on a date with him after he’s here & settled .(he moves end of March) I said sure if I’m still single…Now that I have admitted to myself and him this is my definition. IF high maintenance means maintaining my health, fitness, my body(including my hair, nails, toes, appearance) ..than yep! i AM. But I’m self-sufficient in all ways. I don’t need nor require a man to take care of me nor my bills. What I do need is a man that loves & cherishes me.  IF high maintenance means I require the attention of my significant other. Than yep! I am. BUT I also give what I want in return. IF high maintenance means I like to communicate with my significant other. Than yep! I am. I can’t read minds nor do I pretend to…I’ll make contact with my S.O. by talking, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, smoke signal!, even send a message in a bottle if need BE. IF high maintenance means because I’m friends with my xhusband & xboyfriend. Than yep! I am. But if  you have TRUST issues than you’re not the one for me anyway. IF high maintenance means I require spending time with my S.O. Than yep! I am. Quality time is a MAJOR must with me. In my minds eye  it is the best gift a man can offer; his time. Likewise for me..Amount of time spent isn’t half as important to me as the content. I’m busy too…IF high maintenance means I like to know I’m thought about from time to time during the day by my S.O. Than yep! I am. Thats what texts were created for , isn’t it??? If a man is seeking a woman that is easy, doesn’t have an opinion, and won’t treat him like her King..than I’m NOT the woman for him. If a man is seeking a good woman, with a good/sincere heart!, who believes in GOD, and will treat him like the King he IS..then here I am. Take me as I am & I’ll follow suit. Because I’m…

Posted in =Self Discovery=, FABulous 50 Bday anticipation..

~Brand New *Me*~very new song by Alicia Keys

I hadn’t planned on posting any music videos on my blog page..Until I ran across this one 2day..I do SO love music; there isn’t much that I do that I don’t have music on in the background..This past year or so I’ve worked diligently & very HARD on becoming as much of the person I want to B by the time I make 50..Trying to ditch the bad N keep the good foundation I feel which was established by my UPbringing..I’m still a work in progress(and I think with any /everything we should always strive to improve on it) but I’ve come a VERY long way. From my mental position to stroking my emotional/sensitive inner child to treating my body right(which takes FAR more work than it did when I was in my 20s..) I’m constantly evolving and still striving to reach the max of my God given life purpose.. This song says pretty well what I feel about myself at this point. Plus it is a brand new song by one of my fave artists on earth@Alicia Keys.   Enjoy…