Posted in =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words

>U Bring Light 2 The World..Let Your Little Light Shine!>

Well…do U?  Do you light the room up when you walk in; and folks are drawn 2 your light?  Or when you enter a room; do people scatter like roaches suddenly finding a cazillion things to do..Lets rap>

For anyone out there that lives in a spot, where fireflies exist, I wish I could see them! I recall backintheday loving the way their light lit UP the night ..My bro and I fondly called them what they were@lightening bugs.(well we were little at the time & thought everyone called them that) I think as people , like moths, many of us are drawn to the light..This is true without many even knowing it; we’re drawn to light just as day’light’ affects our moods & energy levels. (affects our chronobiological system) Now that I’m living “an intentional life”; and not just letting life happen 2 me..such things interest me far more than ever before. And learning more about it has impacted my life in immeasurable positive ways, countless, and the number is still climbing…

I’m of the belief we can speak(or think)  things in or out of existence…I said this to someone recently; and being the wonderfully inquisitive person she is she asked me” Do you really believe that?!? ” My answer was/is yep, I sure do! Why? Because the mind is a trip…literally. WE can convince our selves of things no one else can! For instance, have you ever walked into an interview knowing/feeling/exhibiting like YOU are the best candidate for that position?? I don’t give a dang if there are a cazillion other candidates that applied for that ONE job..you just know & feel deep down in your bones/spirit/mind that YOU were created to do that job the BEST? Well, IF you walked in thinking the opposite; just think how that would impact your attitude thus affecting how you  interview. In a negative manner…

For the record my disclaimer & my truth I live IS..I believe every single  word my fingertips stroke here. I don’t paint a picture this vividly that I can’t see. My paintbrush is enormous! And I  am living my life in bold, bright(yep I love bright colors) fabulous colors..Just yesterday I got a double-dose of bad news..News that were I the person I usedtoB could’ve/would’ve floored me. But I’ve learned, yearn to learn more, and am learning..myself and to live an intentional life. WE all have choices in this life. With concerted effort we can overcome and ride through ANY storm. I’m relentless now and majority of days my inner light flows out effortlessly..There is a song I don’t have time to dig up for ya’ll right now; thats called “I’m gonna let my little light shine” (or something close to that..) And I believe we all have the power within US; to do just that. Can’t we be the light we want to see in the world? I think we can and I think it will make the world a much better place..if we do just that. So today , and even on days (like this day is for me…) ; when you just don’t feel like you can muster UP the strength to let your little light shine..let it shine anyway. Know why? Because someone out there that usually shines so effortlessly, like lil ole me, might just need to vibe off the warmth of your light..So just bring IT. Time to prepare for church so until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, ^^Thought Provoking^^

^Are U Who U Were Supposed To B?

This is DAY 1 of the rest of my life journey…WOW..Every , single morning when I rise at O dark thirty that is my 2nd thought. Real talk. My first thought is to thank my GOD for waking me..Inofitself, even in excellent health; that IS a blessing. I am fighting the urge to free flow this morning lyrically; but it is coming. And good news? I’ve found a poetic partner! (but thats another topic for another time & post..) Constantly during this part of my spiritual & life journey; I question the self part of moi(me). Am I the person I was created to be? Am I getting closer to my GOD given purpose? Am I who I was supposed to B along the journey? Yep, as usual my questions have questions…Am I living the answers?

I think, yes, I am becoming myself. Finally, I am the me I was supposed to B..As I strive to reach all of my goals(spiritually,physically,love relationship/career/education/personal goals..) and pushing myself to do more & more in a day; slowly but surely I’m getting closer. To? Living UP to my GOD given purpose..I’m not there yet & I just know it. I feeeeel it. Without a doubt “HE” isn’t finished with me/”HE” is still working on me/”HE” is for sure working THROUGH me..I can feel it as sure as I’m sitting here. Which inofitself is nothing short of a miracle! Even just a few years back I wasn’t feeling nor seeing “HIM”; I’d grown numb. Impossible as that seems, with  as much as I possess  feelings/passion!/creativity/energy/vibrance; I’d grown numb. And if that can happen to me..certainly it can happen to anyone.

I’ve learned that nothing in this lifetime is impossible. Nada. Rien. Niente. Nihilum. With GOD and a positive attitude in our lives; not even what seems out of our reach is impossible. WE and I am limited more by what we “think” we can’t accomplish; than by what is factual. I’ve lived and learned that the  hard way. And now that I’m on the other side of that ephiphany?!? WOW. Not even I can truly express in it words..it just feels good. Alot. And it flows as naturally from me as the sun shining. If my words have inspired one person reading this to “reflect” on working to become self; I’ll be content. Positive vibes spread like wild fire…Pass it on. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed! 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 and Only)

Posted in "Just for fun"

******If YOU came with instructions what would your label read?******

…Ever wonder what instructions you’d come with IF people came with a label? Do you think that might make getting to know a person easier? Or would it take away from the beautiful process of getting to know someone? How about IF we came with a warning label? I’ve got quite a list in mind for instructions/warnings I’d come with..One has to know themselves pretty well to do this exercise..Be honest; but have fun with it!

>My label would read= Handle with care; contents are special!  Give tons of affection and LOVE, love , love required for maximum usage. No batteries required; but sincerity/trust/communication are mandatory. Product will yield tenfold in return. Keep near water;i.e. the beach! for product’s full potential and results will be beautiful, serene, and full of laughter and warmth.> My warning label would read=IF you don’t feel like talking or listening to product talk(product even talks with their hands in animated & energetic fashion when wound UP) do NOT push the ON  button! And last but not least & highly important; owner MUST keep their own batteries re-charged..product is highly, highly energetic and full of life! If owner doesn’t require batteries for charging; eat your wheaties & vitamins… !

Posted in <<COMING SOON, ***DPCHALLENGE, @Cultural, Post a Day 2013, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

COLORstruck

~Whether or not its a discussion as OLD as the hills; it is still sadly enough relevant in 2013. I’m willing to bet there isn’t a Black person in America who hasn’t been affected by the color  issue . In some form or another..and the type I’m  talking about  is Black on Black. As funky as it IS and as mind blowing it is…Colorism is alive and well amongst us. Even for those folks who “think” they aren’t colorstruck. As simple as it might seem to “others” to NIP it; it is very complex indeed. Disclaimer: As always these are merely one person’s observations/experiences/opinion. Mine. Ready? Get set! Here I go head first , again….

I recall watching my teenage heart throb(is that phrase even used nowadays? oh well, I’m old skool till the day I die…) beholder of the handsome face plastered allllll over my bedroom walls on posters; slowly MORPH into something horrific. The once beautiful brown skin with the just PERFECT wide nose and the full , luscious lips just poof! …gone. I couldn’t for the life of me understand WHY someone with so much talent could HATE their brown skin /Black features enough to do that to themselves. What happened to MY Michael??? Object of sooo many of my naive teenage dreams? Author of the OFF THE WALL album which was the BEST album of the century? How could he possibly have NOT liked himself when I and millions of others loved him so??? I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. How could anyone NOT love being BLACK?…..

So that was about the time I decided to dig a little deeper…Taking mental notes of my own personal experiences as well as reading, reading , reading about others experiences. And of course quietly observing…

Before I delve deeper let me preface by saying..I LOVE BEING BLACK. Exclamation mark. Period..and I make no apology for it. Anyone who is anyone should be proud to be who they are and what they are..and if you don’t like who you are work to change IT. However, one’s skin color should be something to be proud of for it is given to us by GOD for a reason. Or least that is how I feel about it. IF he wanted us to be any other color certainly we’d have been born that way…OR better yet IF he wanted us to all look alike he’d have done that too! But it is my inherent belief he made us different colors for a reason…but that is another topic for another time.

So one might ask if being Black is so awesome; why does colorism exist? Why are we still stuck on being COLORstruck? Haven’t we evolved enough past slavery to get past THIS ?!? And we all know it stems from slavery; doesn’t it? Hmmmm Yep, my questions bring more questions that even I can only guess the answer to; or assume. Which I hate to do! So I began listening to others experiences…the pain!(like Michael Jackson’s ..) my people have gone through due simply to the color of their skin. IF a person keeps hearing or seeing over and over and over and over again negative connotations associated with “anything”(including their skin color) what will eventually happen? And what will that person then pass on to their children???

One way to change something is to start with changing our OWN behavior…Or whatever is possible to change within our power. I recall when my sons were much smaller…People would remark about their skin color being light or lighter or whatever. And the good hair comments OMG..WE have got to let go of that also. But that is another topic for another time…My response was always the same. Do NOT bring that mess around me or my sons! I won’t allow them to even think! they’re any less Black than anyone else due to their skin tone or hair. NOR will I let anyone else plant the seeds of those thoughts into their heads..What you do or say around your children is your business; but what you say around mine is MY business. And I was serious. Also, I ‘ve had people walk straight UP to me and ask “What are you. Are you mixed?” Wth? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? I’m just good ole fashioned BLACK. Period. That has honestly been my response when anyone is ignorant enough to ask that question…I’d never ask anyone that, jeeeeez. Black IS Black folks. I don’t care if you’re one ounce Black…still BLACK. Sometimes I wish we’d gotten stuck in a time warp in the days of ‘Black is Beautiful!”..wasn’t that the 70s?

I  once had a brother tell me, to my face!, that I wasn’t dark enough for him to date…WOW. Blew my hair back because I’d never been told that before. Least not to my face. Appreciated his honesty, but dang!, still hurt my feelings. What the heck can I do about my skin color? Not a dang thing; nor do I plan on “doing” anything about it ..except loving IT. By the way we “did” end up dating and he’s an outstanding brother(& one of my best friends in the world)  that has no regrets…

We come in many shades that run the gamut …There are expectations/judgments/so called advantages/and slights that boost one shade of brown over another..It needs to NOT only be discussed but STOPPED. Generation after generation is carrying it forward. I recall when my youngest son started dating his high school sweetheart..first thing my ex husband said was”Whew! I’m glad to see he isn’t colorstruck!” Because she was dark-skinned..and my comment was”Why would he be? We raised him to not be; didn’t we?!? ” But then we talked about it and we really had  NOT ever discussed  it with our sons per se…all we did do though was not to label people by color. I’m not really sure what the answer is to stop colorism from continuing  to re-cycle..I think one sure way to start though is by addressing it. We know it exists. And society knows it exists; google UP what Loreal did to Beyonce’s skin in an ad if you don’t believe me. We also know that it causes DIVISION, schism and contention among us as Blacks. We can either continue to just discuss it every Black History Month or whenever; and then forget about it. OR we can discuss it and act on changing our own behavior. One person at a time might start a movement to nip it..I think that just might be how major movements/CHANGE begins. Until I read/write ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~To B Continued

@DEPTH Alert@ HeArT VISION*DPCHALLENGE*PostaDay Berna’s Way..

Ever heard the saying @From the mouths of babes?…Well, though not a baby anymore my eldest son, without knowing IT, said something 2 me about 4 years back that made me thirsty 2 find mine. My center! My core..We were chatting about something or other N he simply said, ” A person that is seeking to truly know Self; has to first find out what their center IS…”  Took me another 4 years but I finally found  mine & I found it by accident. Although, I kinda sorta take that back for I’ve learned in this lifetime there are NO such thing as accidents..Gathering my thoughts on this topic but I’m coming back very soon…Stay Tuned..Here i GO digging deeper into MYself and in the process driving closer 2 finding out the meaning of Life N its purpose N my God given purpose within IT.

**Quick backdrop : I began this blog(my 1st!) in an attempt 2 share of myself, of my lifes’ experiences with others..In the process though I’ve found that I’m actually also simultaneously journaling. WOW. I’ve not kept a journal since I was a very lil girl(yep, I’ve been writing a long, long time..) N yet on these pages with every single word I am marking where I was on this day..or any given day I write. I free flow. No practice. No trial run. Nothing written down..Just me at one with my thoughts and trying to type as faster, faster, FASTER as my thoughts pour from my mind . My personal touch, hopefully!, my style, who i B  shining thru each every keystroke..non-rehearsed. For that is exactly how I’ve lived my life..no practice rehearsals..just doing IT. Mistakes N all..

So living IN a world that is known as a MANS world, yet, being the epitome of a WOMAN(I’m a very girly girl N yep! pink is my fave color) I’ve for SO long felt I had to mask/hide/change/cover/dull it down a part of ME that is so strong a part of me its been like trying to cut off a LIMB..all these years. Until one day about 4 years ago , bam!, I decided to no longer…Why should I kill a part of ME just to so called make IT big? Must I do that just to survive in a career in which men RULE? Is that the only way I’m going 2 reach the glass ceiling? Daily and continually NOT being who I truly AM?  How jacked UP a feeeeeeeeling that is/WAS. First of all it is quite impossible to fit a square peg into a round hole..I tried! Can not do it..and it is very draining. Emotionally draining..N that is yet another reason I can’t totally give my co-sign to Steve Harvey’s “Think like a man, Act like a Lady” concept. Know why? I’ve LIVED that. Been there, done that..N  I’ve got many T-shirts/emotionals scars/very hurt feeeeeeelings, etc etc, yada yada to prove having been there. The money was GREAT I can’t nor won’t lie about it, however, the COST to me personally wasn’t worth it. I’d rather B without a penny  in my purse and not own a lick of material possessions(been there too…) than to NOT be true to who I am. Yep, I said it. I care less about material gain or fortune/fame..I just want to be freeeeee to B who I was created to B. There is such comfort in that. It just feeeeeels good ALL the time. It is that good 2 me N for me..and worth the sacrifices it took 2 get here. I like(love!) me now..whereas I didn’t like the me I was before. I’ve worked hard 2 get here. I give 100%! to ANYthing that I do and honestly? I worked double time to finding me..my center..my core being. If I said it was easy I’d be lying through my teeth..instantly brings tears 2 my eyes just reflecting! for this moment..on how hard it has been. But I am here. And in seeking my core being, my center, I found that it was something that has been DISCOURAGED alot of my life. Because it has been said that it can also been seen as a weakness..and yet! for those who truly know ME know I am strong. Took even me years N years N years 2 learn just how strong I was/AM.

My Core BEing/My Center revolves around=I AM emotional by nature. I AM sensitive by nature. I AM compassionate by nature. I AM kind by nature.

So everything that I am naturally wasn’t conducive for the environment I was placing myself IN. I have NO poker face! (even though I had loved ones trying to coach me on that..didn’t work!) And yep, I wear my HEART on my sleeve…which btw my own Daddy has told me since I was a very lil girl. Daddies see the core in US long before we do; or least has been my case. The freeeeeeeeeeedom  I’ve felt since letting GO of the person I thought I was and embracing the person I already WAS on the inside (since birth) ..N yet had been trying to suffocate..has been beyond liberating for me. And it didn’t happen overnight either; it has happened in stages. Rome wasn’t built in a day nor does one re-learn who they are instantly..especially when they’ve been masquerading as someone else for YEARS. Anyone out there wearing a mask daily? You might not even KNOW you are..had I not done the work! it took 2 find my “center” I’d still B doing someone else also. But now thank GOD/my eldest son/& my lucky stars I am doing ME.

 

 

I’ve quite naturally started studying , Heart Vision: the hearts clarity of vision will lead you to a path towards contentment. I realized as I got closer to finding out what my center was that when I think I think WITH my heart + my mind. It happens very naturally for me. I can’t stop IT & I tried for years..Now? I’m learning to just go with the flow of it. All my life I’ve felt “vibes” from people; whether good or bad. I thought it was normal. I figured everyone could feel such vibes! N these vibes are amplified when I touch people. Even in handshakes…I know, it sounds crazy. But it is MY truth. It is also why I am a natural toucher/hugger/I even talk with my hands LOL. I say all of this 2 share, most personal thoughts, just in case anyone out there just might need/desire 2 find their “center” or “core” also. This was my process of getting there. Believe it or not as long as this is it was the condensed version!…I’m still working on brevity. Very much still a work in progress I am…Stay UPlifted N Blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

^ EYE see U..Do U? ^

NOT going 2 give any teasers , clues or hints with this 1..You’ll just have 2 wait 2 see what is on my mind ..Stay tuned because it only gets better from here.. *HOT TOPIC COMING SOON..It is O’dark thirty Saturday morn N I can’t resist the urge 2..write..

>>”**The most beautiful people we know are those that have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an  understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deeeeep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen…** Quote from Elizabeth Kubler Ross>>

I ran across the above quote somewhere I was reading (I read everything & anything..) a few months back and found it SO deeeeep I had to keep it/save it/reflect on it..I’ll get back 2 it but for now lets move on. Deep alert though because I can feel it coming.

About a month or so ago I had the opportunity to hear an OUTstanding motivational speaker! Petite in stature N yet her words resonated in a HUGE way. As I sat there in an audience of my coworkers I kept loooooking around wondering IF her words/her message! was hitting H*O*M*E with any1 else as it was with ME..Ever wonder things like that??? Mayhaps that is just part of me being me, lol! Here I was sitting there, totally captivated by her words..and yet wondering am I the ONLY one getting this? Let me explain a little what her presentation was about and why..

Her presentation was simply about IMAGE. It was about our company desiring/commanding that it(including its employees) to BE exactly what the company is. In every possible way. The company I am OVERjoyed (have I said for the upteenth time I loveeeeeee my job?!?) to be a part of  wants to reflect a mark of excellence. The  company I work for wants its’ mission statement to resound loudly/smoothly via its employees dress/behavior 24 hrs a day/and of course in their job performance. Enough so they hired a motivational speaker to come speak to ALL of us. Wow..who wouldn’t want to work for a company that is willing to do that?! I’ve got my hand held UP high..but anywayz trying to STOP from digressing. So there I was one person sitting at the very, very back of the large room as this speaker was giving her oral & powerpoint show. And somewhere near the middle of her presentation it hit me. Ephipany! For all of my life but especially the past 15 months that IS what I’ve been doing..hoping that my words/actions reflect the love & light that I feeeeeel inside. For those that might not be following I’ve flipped the script to translate to SELF image.

Do others see YOU as you wish to be viewed by others? Are YOU actually the type of person you desire to BE? Do your words/actions reflect 2 others what YOU wish? Do YOU assume others see you as you wish; or have YOU asked them if you do? Hmmmmm let me dig a little deeper if I may..Do YOU care if others feel what the intent of your words are ? (N for the record I’ve always asked MYself all these same questions & nope I don’t answer myself LOL..thank you GOD for letting me have majority of my marbles still at almost, 50) Isn’t it important to reflect in words/actions/what we WEAR to the outside world? Before I go any further all of these questions are highly important to me. Totally in every , single way imaginable. Period.

For instance: IF you see someone dressed in firemans’ outfit; wouldn’t you expect them to come running if you yell out FIRE! On the flip side of that coin..if you see someone dressed in flip-flops, a bikini, and a beach ball ; wouldn’t you expect them to be heading to the beach? So, on a professional front should not our dress reflect a business savvy look? I mean is that NOT just something that need-not-even-be-expressed-to-folks-that-are-working-in-an-office-setting?!? And YET these dayz we must have very detailed dress codes. My question is WHY???? Because as I expressed at the very presentation I mentioned above EVERY single day I walk out of my home door I know I first represent my family..and not just MYself. Which means when YOU or anyone else views me physically I’m representing:my parents/my sons/my deceased grandparents/all of my deceased ancestors/all of my living relatives/MYself. That is how I look at myself every morning I wake up and depart to where ever I’m headed..Even if I go to the grocery store I’m NOT going out in furry, floppy house slippers and a shower cap. I mean , really?? I’ve seeeeen that. OMG. I bet their ancestors are doing flip-flops in their graves…Certainly folks weren’t taught this style of dress. Or were they? Know where I think it all goes back to? SELF ESTEEM. Which is why , in my hearts of hearts, I still think it is highly, and I mean highly!, important that children in their “primary years” are LOVED/taught&showed that they’re special/encouraged!/and  R stroked emotionally in positive ways. There is NO substitute for that…and it is something that will impact that child 4 ever 4 their entire life. For as much as I believe in a persons’ right to express themselves as they please(and I do believe in that…) there is a time N place for some of certain types of self-expression. Right? I might feeeeel like expressing myself by BEing in the most natural state. Naked. But can I go to work like that? I think not! Well not if I want to be employed…

Moving right along..What are WE reflecting in our words/actions/dress 2 our children? Hmmmm…for those that feel it is alright to self-express themselves dressed inappropriately! do they not realize their children are WATCHING & LEARNING from them? For any1 that has been a parent for a longggg arse time(and I qualify my eldest is 30 yrs of age…WOW) knows that children learn MORE from what we do; than from what we say. Just IS the way it ’tis..So , for instance. I’ll use me as an example. Don’t I qualify as a hypocrit if I tell my sons do NOT text and drive N yet they catch me doing IT? I stand guilty as charged..I’m queen of texts! I am physically having to break myself from the addiction of texting while driving. I used to have that bad..very. Caught myself several times with my head down when I was still in Cali..texting! That is not just UNcool it is not smart nor is it responsible! We can take that example and insert it into the space available________for a host of things I’m sure of it. But what we can DO is change the negative things. BEginning 2day…but first one has to first admit they can improve. I believeeeeee that is the case with any1  N anything. I have a host of simply outstanding loved ones and friends..and yet NONE of them are perfect. I for sure KNOW I am not perfect(and personally I think if I was I’d be boring but thats another topic for another time…)

Bottom line IS if it matters 2 YOU that you reflect to others what you perceive YOURself as..work on it! Daily. I can personally attest to the fact that it IS possible. I’ve come to the realization that I am not changing who I am(I don’t want to do that) but at almost 50 I am working ON  smoooooothing out the rough edges. I’m my own worst critic; always have been. My Daddy has told me that for years & years & years! Toooook all those years for me to realize he was right. Lolll lawd. Now that I’m no longer my own worst enemy (I’m now my own very, very BESTest friend..) I work diligently and consistently on moi.  I’m also open to positive criticism from my loved ones/extended family of friends..I’m sensitive! though and they know to give it to me with a spoooonful of sugar. All except for my Daddy. LOL . We all have those people we know are going to be straight-shooters in our lives. Don’t you? Well I do and its my beloved Daddy. When I want to know the down & dirty answer/black with NO sugar/on-the-rocks answer to something; my Daddy is my go-to person. Hands down..I loveeeee that I have that! And that it is someone who loves ME and would kill a rock over me. Yep, he has told me that since I was a very little girl…

I feel if we work on our self image in a positive manner IT can impact every aspect of our lives! Can impact our children. Who we attract as spouses/significant others. The type of job we can land by how we interview & conduct ourselves on the work front. Who we attract as friends…But most important(nope , I can’t leave this out) IF we call ourselves Christians..should we NOT try with-all-our-might to mirror the love & light of our creator???? At the beginning and end of each day that is honestly what I *now*  think about when I think of  who  I am/what I reflect/the words that come out of my mouth/my actions. Real talk…I’m going to leave ya’ll with that as my last expressed thought in this write. As always I hope/pray my “words” have had a positive impact on you in some small way. Stay UPlifted N blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 n ONLY)