Posted in FABulous 50 Bday anticipation..

Holy Crap! I’m almost 50 **

Today I forgot, again, that I’m almost 50 years old. Is there a certain way to ACT when one becomes 50? Are there certain things I’m not supposed to do anymore? If there is a specific new way to act or feel at 50 years old; I’m not there yet! Certainly NOT trying to look 50 yrs old, least not for another 15 yrs or so.  I don’t know how to be anything other than…ME~~

…Today  I was running(not a full force run; but I wasn’t walking nor was I jogging) while wearing 4 inch heels!/Sunday’s finest & cute!-special-4-Mothers Day- dress  on/hair was hooked!..I was on church grounds headed to the Hall; the men of our church had cooked breakfast for all Mothers in honor of Mothers Day..Why was I running? I wanted a very good family friend(who recently had surgery) to not have to walk around the building to get into our church hall. Running while in a dress in 4 inch heels is NOT something I do often(unless a barking dog  shows UP out of nowhere..I admit I’ve run like hell in those situations..in flipflops even!) but .. a. I didn’t want her having to stand on her feet too long b. I wanted that door open , instead of the back door, & it was locked c. I was starving!!!! I had not even a banana that morning and it was after 11 a.m. d. It was HOT outside & I move quickly in the heat to get OUT of it.. So anyways, before I “remembered that I was in a heels/all dressed UP/and that I’m just about 50 ” there I was running..Just got caught UP  in the spontaneity of the moment..Later on;  is when the *thoughts* began to creep into my mind…>

1st thought was * Dangggg I’m glad my Mom didn’t see me do that, lol lol! She’d have been horrified. My Mom is perfectly mannered at all times..I slip from time to time; I forget which fork to use when the table setting has more than TWO/I laugh sometimes when I shouldn’t cause when stuff is funny I can’t help it/I’ve been heard saying “oops” on the mic sitting in the choir in church(now THAT is embarrassing) & etc etc yada yada I just can’t recall all of the perfect rules of etiquette ! But I do think I’m serious so much of my life that at this phase; I am not trying really hard to stop my laughter or my spontaneity..>

Truth be told I’m LOLing a ton more at this point in my life than EVER before..Real talk for real..More than likely because for the first time in my adult  life I’ve … a. Got no one but my own fanny to take care of; which btw was a major adjustment. I’ve been a parent as long as I’ve been an adult..if nothing else comes naturally to me it IS to nuture..I was like a fish out of water when my 1st son left years & years ago headed to college. And when the last one left to head to college couple years ago? For a minute I didn’t know how what to do next..I was like wtheck do I do now? Happens when one is always used to tending to others they love..now its time for Mama to tend to Mama. At long last…  b. NO longer fear the boogie-man(seen him first hand and survived!) No longer fear being without, doing without, or being single..been there, done that, lived through it, and took tons of mental notes…lessons earned & learned  c. Now with God holding the reins, my parents on each side of me emotionally, my sons loving me to the fullest, a host of loved ones & extended family of friends…whether I’m  up or down I’m never alone. So with all of that who wouldn’t smile & laugh & laugh..koolaid smiles so wide my cheeks hurt! Bring it ON 50 cause I am ready..>

On most days I forget I’m knocking on 50…Until! I hear folks older than me say things like…Oh wow, 50 is THE age when your body starts falling apart little by little..*slapping forehead* and OMG…I’m trying with all my might to fight gravity and slap mother nature in the face for a little while longer..Its like a juggling act for sure; but so far everything is STILL where its supposed to be..Thank You God for blessing me with good genes; so good that I can still rock my jeans.

I think all things considered I’m going to keep forgetting I’m half a century old..Don’t want to lose my spunky lust for life that often times has me giggling like a little girl. I’ve earned those giggles! Don’t want to lose following through the urge to STOP and smell the flowers..daily. I appreciate all parts of nature…plants breed new life and re-growth. Don’t want to lose the pep in my step or the urge to sing out loud often times..Had to catch myself singing in the hall at work the other day(before someone heard me , lol ) But life really is that good; the song in my heart is singing loud all day loud..every once in a while its bound to slip out. And if I invited you to my 50th bday party in July? You’ll see just how a 50 yr old can still put the P in party…cause I’m going to dance & dance & dance & dance & dance..I don’t care if every bone & muscle in my body aches the next day..better not, lol! Going to party like its 1999!!!!!! Don’t remember that Prince song? Better ask somebody! And  make sure they’re 50 & UP.. Older really is better and wiser>

Any other 50 somethings or older have a story to share about being better?

Posted in ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

OPEN Doors*What Glitters Has Just as Much Chance of Being Gold as NOT*Walking in..>

May 18, 2013..A door is opening for me..All of my being is in anticipation..The butterflies in my tummy are going wild! To say I am excited!  is an; understatement. Are you ready when doors OPEN in your life? Do you recognize when a door is opening?(and quite often when another closes..) I am ready. Are U? I feel like the little girl in this picture..floodgate of thoughts/sensations/emotions are flowing through my mind/my spirit/my BEing. Not sure if I can express this better poetically or written verse; all I know is I’m going to let it flow..

Remember the moment or time frame in your life; when you realized you were truly grown? When you realized you’re now officially part of the “elder” group; the group the ‘young folks’ look UP to? Actually listen to?!? And if you’re really fortunate /blessed tell you they admire you? That moment in time for me is .. here & now. Funny thing about is just the other day , after I told someone my latest good news, they actually said to me.”Awwwww you’re allll grown UP now!>

In all honesty I’m not talking about just grown UP regarding age..For we all know some really old grown fools, right? What I’m speaking on is deeper than that..personal evolution. Inner revolution in short means IF you don’t like something about your life, don’t blame anyone else or life’s pitfalls, just dig deeeep within yourself to change IT. Sounds simple enough , right? It isn’t; but I can attest to the fact it can be done. Even when you’re knocking on 50’s door…I wish I could bottle this feeling/experience up and share it with the world..>

We’ve got options when doors are slammed in our face..a. Fall apart b. Cry alot c. Complain alot d. Fall apart! e. Blame it on the system/the infamous “they” /or whoever.. f. be patient until another door opens (OMG thats difficult sometimes..) About 21 months ago I had so many doors closing that I began to take it personal..I wasn’t used to rejection; honestly? I’m still not used to rejection. But  with jobs in the housing market drying up rapidly; rejection became quite the norm. A drastic change was eminent. I walked through a new door; one that I traveled cross country to walk through. It was the most difficult decision I’ve made in my entire life. The result? I’ve become a believer in miracles..>

I won’t waste keystrokes explaining each detail of the past 21 months..But I will say this. When doors open; they open wide. And I mean wide. You just have to recognize it; and quickly walk through the door before it closes. Use discernment(& alot of prayer works for me) & just do IT. I no longer feel that anything is impossible. For I’ve seen impossible things happen..mainly because I believed they would happen! And of course because my GOD’s hand is so very much in my life..Undeniably so. Almost everything in my life right now is brand new. Built of course on a sturdy foundation; but sort of re-modeled! I can’t think of any other way to express it. Digging deep to even try. I probably should’ve written this out poetically…Simply said next month I’m entering a new phase of my life. Brand new surroundings/brand new stuff!/Brand new car/Awesome brand new career/Brand new friends, extended family of friends/Brand new titles/community involvement..and I can  hardly contain my excitement. My cup is over-flowing with joy..I am ready. Certainly if it can happen to me, especially at almost 50, lol! (OMG its so close now) , then it can happen to & for anyone. YOU’VE just go to believe that it can. (whatever it is that you desire..)  My next project?  A brand new man, my last “the one” man. Finding & making time for a social life…because guess what I’m betting my next big good news will BE? THAT I’M NO LONGER SINGLE(though I’m not complaining for the self-inflicted  single time has been good for me & to me)..so making time for that is a must. Soon, very! soon. I am ready to be part of the love-union that I was born to be in..  Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, FABulous 50 Bday anticipation.., Motivational!, Post a Day 2013

*50 Fabulous Things About Turning 50* ..

1. #1 thing about turning 50 is that I learned & am living that with GOD and LOVE in your life..nothing is impossible. Absolutely nothing at all.

2. I am going to have the BIGGEST party of my entire LIFE for my 50th this summer..Couldn’t be more excited about that!

3. I’ve got far  more than 50 loved ones(including both of my parents!) /close friends/dear friends that are still living whose company I can enjoy/laugh with/hang out with/hug/kiss/talk to. NO material object on earth can compare..

4. I can recall when the majority of music involved lyrics that meant something; they just don’t make that type of GOOD music like backintheday.

5. I was around to enjoy(and then enjoy with my sons..) playing games as a family that involved the ENTIRE family. Not like the 1 or 2 player video games or internet games. Card games like Monopoly, Scrabble!, Trouble, Headache, Uno, Twister(wow what fun!) , Hopscotch, Jumprope(do little girls even do these things anymore???) Oh , how I bet parents out there wish gifts were as cheap now as backintheday…and the time spent as a family? Priceless

6. Taking to heart “my word is bond” & living by it daily. And expecting the same from those in my circle of friends/loved ones. Anything less is unacceptable. The results? Dependability rocks!

7. Focusing on things I can DO and not things that I can’t do anymore..I can still do front flips/cartwheels/the splits!/handstands/touch my toes with ease/see my toes with ease lol!

8. I’m stronger, wiser, BETTER than I’ve ever been..and ever is a very long time

9. Recall fondly the days when mobile phone meant walking around with a corded phone..and the cord was LONG enough to wrap around 4 city blocks! Dang sure didn’t have to worry about the battery running out in the middle of a steamy conversation..

10. Recall the days when leaving a cell phone at home did not  felt like leaving behind a limb! Matter of fact I’ve never left home without mine…anyone out there remember when we used to wait till we got home to discover what we didn’t buy at the store??? Today’s convenience is something I’ve grown to love but there is a certain beauty in being able to recall  the good ole days..

11. The saying about women peaking in their 40s is a LIE..I’ve yet to reach mine.

12. No chronic health issues or meds needed . No batteries either! And thanking GOD/my lucky stars/and trying to do all I can to maintain good health. If there is one word of advice for the youth that is worth gold it is.. take care of your body daily. And FLOSS after every meal..

13. I’ve no enemies..that I know of anyway! I greet even strangers like they are friends. And I treat my family & friends like GOLD. Its returned 10fold..

14. I can /and do speak my mind freely…

15. Still have most of my marbles left and no memory loss issues; or least I think so. Lol!

16. Got over the stage of thinking “I know it all”, whew! Now I’ve learned that the more I learn the more there is to learn…I’ve aligned mentors(even some that don’t know they are my mentors in any subject area I want to learn more about) Another tip for the youth= Attain mentors; you’ll need them.

17. Learned not to give unsolicited advice. Sort of…still working on fully mastering that.

18. Finally learned to be a “glass is half-full ” type of person; instead of the opposite I once used to be. And technically the glass is always FULL…unless you’re in a vacuum of space. Yep, google that one..

19. One gets OLD; when they stop playing/being playful/ or knowing how to play. I am never going to get OLD; just older & better

20. Dancing! becomes an art that when the music comes on your body just takes over & disengages from the brain. So dance, dance, dance and dance; even if it means you’ve got to dance by yourself. Dance!

21. I learned the hard way that the email “reply all” button…can yield embarrassing results IF you don’t intend to use it. Be mindful when replying to ALL emails..

22. You can learn anything at any AGE. And I’m hoping I also learn you don’t forget how to do things just because you’ve not done them in a while…more on that when I finally do IT

23. Maturity means= Even up to my 40s I took life so seriously! (especially when I was co-raising sons) Finally as I’m closing in on 50 I’m laughing more daily than ever before..

24. 50 really doesn’t feel anything like I thought 50 would feel like when I was in my 20s or even my 30s..50 doesn’t feel OLD as I thought it would at all. 50 just feels fabulous!

25. I’ve learned to drop my fears…bad things are going to happen cause life happens. But I’ve been over/under/around/and THROUGH such mindblowing, deeeeeep valleys/and just downright shiiiite and survived that its given me confidence that there isn’t much I can’t handle or live through. There is much comfort in knowing/feeling that

26. I’ve learned that sometimes NO answer is about as good as it gets. And that is just fine..I used to think life was all black and white. Or I’d just have to know the answer to the many questions I ask(I’m inquisitive by nature) But I’m learning that isn’t the case. Gray area does exist..and sometimes you just have to let things GO in order to get to the next level. And sometimes? After you let it go; the answer finally becomes clear

27. I try very, very hard to put principles BEFORE personality. This was something a very dear friend on the West Coast taught me…priceless lessons he taught me. There are times we have to interact with folks that we do NOT agree with on a consistent basis. Or something about them is so different from our beliefs/behavior…Agreeing to disagree alot works in these situations. Or in some cases just giving in works too …and this is necessary sometimes if on a team(for lack of a better word) worker towards a mutual goal. Might not be easy to understand now but when you get into situations as I’m referring to; you’ll understand

28. Small stuff DOES matter! Time spent with my parents. Priceless. Time spent doing labors of love; like a garden for my Daddy. Priceless. Time spent chatting with old friends on the West Coast. Priceless. Time spent over a quick lunch with new friends. Priceless. Laughing with new/old friends or loves ones. Priceless! Watching the sun rise. Absolutely priceless..Life is full of moments that we just have to stop to enjoy

29. Simplify. Simplify. SIMPLIFY. That IS the word of the day. Every day…

30. I’ve learned to COUNT my blessings every single day..and testify whenever possible to whoever will listen. I find myself doing this more than I ever thought I would..never thought I would actually.

31. I’ve always been a dreamer. And I dream BIG..as I near 50 I’m DOing more things I’d always said I’d DO. Living ones dreams is better than living to dream. Not getting any younger and there is NO time like the present

32. The things that yield the best results in life= Do NOT get caught up in gossip. It can be lethal…So be fair. Be HONEST. Be consistent. Be GENEROUS. Be Trustworthy. Respect others and yourself. And smile alot! It is contagious..

33. I’ve learned it is better to be KIND than RIGHT..another very close West Coast friend taught me this. And he was so right…

34. I’ve learned a broken heart can mend. Over time. Alot of time. I’m praying though I don’t have wait for mine to mend ever again though

35. Admitting you don’t know how to do something yields better results than pretending you do! The good news? Usually , or least has been the case with me, you’ll quickly find after admitting it someone will teach you what you didn’t know. I love IT when it works out that way

36. Generic store brands? Just as good as the name brand more expensive versions. Saving money is awesome!

37. Saving for a rainy day or necessity(like a new car..) just makes sense. Saving pennies or even coins does add up…Literally

38. Wear what YOU like to wear & what you feel you look best in. I never was one for following “fads”….bottom line is DO and BEing yourself just feels great. I don’t want to walk around looking like a carbon copy of everyone else..

39.Compliment. Compliment. Compliment! I always let people know I like what they’ve got on or a new hair style. Why do we think these things but don’t say them out loud? Saying them usually brings out a smile..

40. Be early. Saves alot of frustration and stress from rushing to get to places

41. Floss! I can’t say that enough…and I might say it for a 3rd time to get to the end of this 50 list

42. I’ve learned to laugh at myself. I don’t take myself near as serious as I used to…result? I stopped being my own worst critic/enemy. Discovered it was impossible to reach perfection . I stopped even reaching for perfection. Now I just do my best. At anything I do

43. Stay true to MYSELF. I don’t let anyone define who I am anymore. I like me after long last. Either accept me as I am or move on…and I’ll do the same

44. Failing at some things is normal. If we don’t fail we’re not pushing our own limits. Many people first failed at things , and yet kept striving, are now considered major success stories. Life is full of ordinary people trying to do extraordinary things..I’m one of them

45. Being on time matters. If I can’t get there early I’m at the least on time. Early bird really does get the prize…

46. Floss! Omg its harder than I thought to think of 50 things..but I refuse to not finish this list

47. Not sure when I became a “ma’am”! OMG when I first starting hearing it from strangers I’d look around to see who the heck they were talking to..I’ve finally adjusted to it. Sort of…lol

48. A good debate from time to time is still good for a “rush”; but anything other than that even closely remote to having an arguement is SO over-rated and just not necessary. I’ve grown old enough to know you can talk anything out …even when not in agreement. If I’ve got to fight with you consistently I don’t care to spend precious time with you. Period. And I mean that…I’ve no drama in my life NOR do I want any

49. IF a person judges me, or anyone else, by the type of car they drive /how much money they make/or what they own…they’re NOT the type of person I want to spend time around.

50…Wooooo hoooo I made it to 50. Keeping ones’ word is important to ME. So glad I was able to with this list. Was alot harder than I thought when I chose this topic..but nothing easy is usually worth it.

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^

~Ephiphany? Aha! Moment or Full Circle Moment?*DPCHALLENGE*PostaDay

 ONE   last of these type of  inner-seeking/self-discovery type of posts N then? Onto what I’m ITCHING to write about..Politics! Took a break from it for a while, breather of sorts, but I always try 2 stay posted and as ALWAYS  I’ve got alot 2 say. So next UP will B musings on whats going  on with our guys in D.C..But for now I’ve got a question for ya’ll. Anyone out there ever feel like you’re always, always! the one in class(or any presentation scenario..) and YOU are the only 1 who raises their hand to ask a question?!? And then! after class or the presentation other people run UP to you and say thanks! for asking that because I had the sameeee question but didn’t ask..Why? Why? I am always, always the ONE to ask such questions..I sit there for a minute looking around , hoping, praying!, someone will ask. But they don’t. N then I just can’t help it I’ve got to know so UP goes my hand..Whether I’m nervous to stand UP in a crowd  or thinking  that folks will think it is a DUMB question I’m asking  or whatever, I’ve just got 2 know…

~There are times in ones’ life when all of a sudden bam! you instantly go from NO clarity to clarity..In my lifetime it has happened twice. As if a great big fog was suddenly lifted. Recently, this past summer, was the strongest such happening for me. I literally “felt” as if I was living@I once was blind, but now I see. Honestly, I can’t explain it any other way. I didn’t see a big light bulb in my minds’ eye. I didn’t see GOD in my sleep. But what I did experience was so life-altering and beautiful..and one day I’m going to try to express it properly by writing about it. Not sure if I am capable  of giving it the due justice it deserves ;yet. (but when I feel I am I’ll blog about it..) I’ll say this though : I went from BEing  a wanna-be full faithful  believer that was practicing Catholism by going to Mass TO a fully faithful  BEliever in GOD/thirsting N thirsting  to gain a closer relationship to GOD/fully immersed in involvement in my Catholic faith/church/choir. Bam! Not sure if everyone experiences such ephiphany moments; but I sure wish it was something I could bottle UP and give to everyone! It is that magnificent of an experience.

Aha! moments are a bit more common, right? These are what I truly call the “light bulb” moments…When you just know what you know because you know IT. And! you know it as it is happening..not after-the-fact. Or least this is how it has happened to me. One such moment was when I first met my exhusband. Yep! Don’t think I ever told him this(or I might have because I talk alot..) and since he reads my blog NOW he’ll know..But from the very first time I laid eyes on him I just knew he’d be my husband. Truth is he laid eyes on me first & I had NO clue he was watching me..but when I did see him I knew. And I was right. Pretty happy I had that aha! moment 🙂

Last but not least@full circle moments..I’ve only had ONE of these in this lifetime. And it has been such a beautiful yet sometimes overwhelming experience. Being an emotional person by nature I’ve had to stifle the butterflies in my tummy at times this past 16 months. Other times I’ve had to let the tears of joy just flow and flow..including during Mass .(which has been happening more to me than ever before as of late especially when I’m singing certain songs in Mass..Yep, the Holy Spirit has been moving through me alot) I think  a full circle moment to me means is that I had to come back 2 where I began to complete my life journey. Instead of being a step backwards(as I felt it was when I made the journey 16 months ago..) it has become something that has enriched my life. For the 1st time in my life I know I am right where I am supposed 2 B. In every possible way…N I have literally come full circle. And it just feels right, and just!, and good. 

As I started this off saying IF you find that in a room full of people you’re the ONLY one who will raise your hand to ask a question…It just means you’re NOT afraid to be different! And that even IF you are afraid on the inside(as I often times am ) you move forward/or ask that! question/or make a change for the better; thus over-riding your fears..Which takes courage and strength. I’ve been my own worst critic for the majority of my life; but what I’m trying to share with ya’ll is the hope that you’ll give yourselves credit for your great qualities(like courage/strength, etc) There will be many defining moments in our lives@ephiphany, aha!moments, full circle moments…as well as just precious moments in time. I treasure them all as I hope you do…I’ve learned to complain less & less in this lifetime. Why ? Because as we’re wasting breath complaining; there is someone somewhere taking their very last breath of life. Which would you prefer to be doing? Yep, me too! Be back tomorrow with my take on whats going on in D.C..till then stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in <<COMING SOON, ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, BUSINES$, PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, ^Political, ~To B Continued

~~2013 New Year~New DreamsNGoals 2 LIVEoutLOUD~DP’s*PostADay

**2013 COME AT ME because I am so ready…**

First on the list of things to hope for in 2013..I hope to see more people, especially YOUTH,  stop trying to fit your square peg into round holes! There is nothing wrong with being different , U N I Q U E . Granted we all have alot more in common than differs..I don’t care if you’re Black/White/Puerto Rican/Latino/Asian/or Purple, etc .. We were all created as loved children of GOD..or so is my belief. My honest opinion? I think we were created in different colors/hues from different regions/cultural backgrounds 2 keep things/LIFE from getting boring or mundane. One of the beautiful opportunities in this lifetime, or so has been my experience, is to learn about so many different cultures when meeting people! I’m always amazed the many similarities as well in cultures..With an open mind one can broaden their scope of knowledge/tolerance/understanding just by accepting people for who they are. No matter who they are or where they hail from.  Daily my mind is opening wider N wider…real talk. I’m a people person , a social butterfly, with a gift 4 gab. I’ve not met many people that I couldn’t find something to chat  with…from paupers to princes…I’ll( & have! )talk 2 anyone. And the things I’ve learned in the span of my lifetime from people I’ve met, some just met!, has simply been PRICEless.  I’d like to see the YOUTH use less virtual forms of communication(text, email, facebook, twitter, etc…) and actually learn to communicate orally. Face2Face COMMUNICATION is the BEST COMMUNICATION.  exClamation mark. Period. It certainly has its advantages… Alright moving right along here are my predictions for 2013.

The good news. JOBS are finally coming back. According to the National Association for Business Economics, by December 2013 , our American economy should be adding up to approx 174,000 jobs a month. That is up from this years’ 157,000 . Slow but steady is better than the standstill we’d been at.  Businesses are in a holding pattern ; but in much better shape than they were since the credit crisis MESS

Housing market is on the way back upwards…Inventory of  homes on the market is down 20% or more in, many areas of the U.S., from just a year ago. Sales of single-family homes jumped 11% in the 12 months preceding September 2012. As long as the Feds keep buying bonds(so mortgage rates  stay low..) demand should remain elevated. And new construction of homes is making a comeback, finally! For instance I work for an organization that is building MEGA housing subdivisions. Such growth is a very, very good sign …Also each new home built adds an average of 3(three) jobs for a year. The ripple effect? Folks will buy furniture , appliances, etc from retailers for their homes…Bottom line housing starts were UP to an annual rate of 872,000 ! That is the highest since the financial crisis. Those numbers are predicted to rise to 900,000 or higher in 2013. IN addition consumer debt is shrinking. Consumers have been working down their levels of installment debt; coupled with low rates for cars & houses has greatly eased the payment burdens.

Well, its official as of tonight. We’re not going to make the deadline; BUT from the latest rumblings I’ve read & heard on the news the results aren’t going to cause any deeper of a recession…I’ll comment more on this when the facts are solid.

Moving forward…2012 was a good year for me. Progressive in many ways. In a new place after moving cross country(from a state I’d lived in for bulk of my adult life..and that I adore!) I’ve gained several awesome trusted friends here already! Also gained an entire brand new church family(including an awesome crew on the choir..love ya’ll!) that welcomed me with open  arms…I’m thankful to GOD N my lucky stars! for gifting me with a job that I absolutely LOVE/in an excellent organization/with AWESOME coworkers. I see this upcoming year as one of much continued growth for me. I’m excited! I’m loved/adored/blessed and content. BUT I’ve got a feeeeeeeeling that 2013 , the year of my fabulous 50th Bday, is also going to be the year I fall IN love after long last…**2013 COME AT ME because I’m so ready**

Posted in Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

@Physical Touch 101…

*Disclaimer: I am not in any form or fashion advising to reach out N touch strangers…Nor is it something I practice on a regular basis; actually far from it! But for the sake of recanting this very true story I’ve included what truly happened. Enjoy the read..*

Oh, I am SO happy God blessed me with a life in which events/happenings occur that make it so storytellable!(this word is a Bernaism for those just joining in) Why? Because I enjoy there never being a dull moment. Beyond making* life* colorFUL(N I love color..) it keeps life from being..boring. When one sits and thinks about it every, single day interesting things or conversations happen to all of us..Just a matter of how we look at it, right? Isn’t it said also, a very old adage, that we live N learn every day? Or we are supposed to(says who?) or we aren’t really living life to the FULLest.  Hmmmm..let that sink in for a minute.

So anywayz last week I bought a new car. N for the record I simply could not love it more..The car deal I finally closed on was a 3.5 day experience full of alot of ups N downs virtually speaking & on the phone with a person I never laid eyes on until the evening I went to pick my car up. The connect was found online by my very own Daddy & I took it from there..N though this isn’t the first new car I’ve purchased it is the very first time I’ve hung on past the first offer I liked(advice from my Daddy) I was ready to say SOLD after the first grrrreat deal the internet salesman offered me. Mayhaps I am the typical woman buyer (sucker) salesmen love to deal with. Mayhaps I am just naive and take people based on their “word”..whatever the case waiting for the 5th offer (and the BEST) from the salesman was an experience I really don’t want to relive anytime soon. Ever if I can help it. Ugh , yuck, and OMG I went through a rollercoaster of emotions & frustrations in the many emails, texts, and conversations with my salesman. By the time we met in person the night me and my Mom went to pick the car up I felt emotionally..spent. I had not even seeeeen the car I had decided on & was going to sign the paperwork to buy.  The deal was so sweeeet I couldn’t wait to fast forward with the day to get to my car. Color absolutely RED . I love it. I wanted to rush to sign the paperwork before for some reason the salesman realized how incredible the deal was N changed his mind(because there was very minimal profit for him in the deal) So finally signed the final, jeeeez a ton of paperwork,  paper. Walked outside on the lot to drive off in my car and when I saw it..emotions just swept over me in a wave of uncontrollable joy. WOW I had a sweeeet deal and was going to drive off in this oh, so cute, absolutely red car! I struggled for a minute whether to hug my Mom or the salesman. Or both. N though I knew how hard this man had worked for this deal, and  had a TON of patience with alll the questions(my questions had questions!)  I’d asked N confronted him with over 3.5 days..he was still a stranger to me. Comfy as we’d gotten on the phone still until this night I’d never laid eyes on him before. I didn’t know him at all …And yet before I could stop myself I’d run over to him and hugged him! OMG Not a full body embrace but still a hug. And I think he was shocked for a moment; but then he hugged me back. Briefly we connected. Fast forward to after I got home about an hour later…

My cell rang N it was my salesman..Oh crap! Did he realize he wasn’t going to make a penny from the deal and wanted my car back?? I almost didn’t answer my phone. But I did…N he said “You know I had a really, really tough day day. Been up since O-dark thirty. And all I had to eat 2day was a bowl of cereal about 7 am and then got to work about 830 am..you arrived at almost 6pm. About midway 2day I got a call from someone from back home. My very best friend, since childhood died today. And all day long I dealt with those feelings, plus sold 4.5 cars, your car was the half car cause the deal profits you more than I. And all day no one really made me feel comforted from my loss..until you hugged me. A total stranger. And I just need you to know how much I neeeeeeded that on this day! And thank you for such acts of kindness are rare. If there is anything you feel I can ever do for you please don’t hesitate to call me…”

Wowwww how can a simple hug, that I had struggled to even offer, mean so much to a…stranger? But then again is not human touch essential to us all just as sunshine is necessary for plants to grow?  Are we not blessed with hands to..touch? Why are some so hard-pressed on the simplest of gestures as a hug ? Is it NOT natural to want to connect with other people ?  Weren’t some of our best friends once…strangers? Hmmmm Well this is the way I see IT. It is normal to touch.  That is why I feel it is SO important to embrace babies and continue to do so as they grow up. It is a normal human reflex that is often taught and sometimes come from within..the need to be touched. I have encountered people in my life journey who feel odd when touched. I was raised being hugged, kissed and my Mom held hands with my brother and I whenever we went places. To me touch is..normal. After 50 years of marriage my parents stillll to this day hold hands often when they go places. Seems so normal to me I don’t question it. To me touch is..normal. So normal to me to touch in a positive way I never could find it possible to discipline my 3 sons with physical harm. Just doesn’t seem right to me..to touch someone in anger.  What IF we could start a movement? A Touch Someone in a Positive Way Day! Not in a sexual way . But a simple hug. A light touch of their arm as you speak.( I speak with my hands anyway LOL..it is my way) A gentle kiss in the middle of an arguement with a lover(try that it will immediatly END the arguement if your partner is human) On my mission to spread LOVE and warmth and a positive vibe this is but one element to add. And oh how beautiful it would be to know that anyone, someone, out there feeeels the same way. This world needs more laughter. This world needs more positive touch. This world needs more LOVE. And its my inherent belief that one person can begin a movement. One person can start a momentum to move mountains..All major movements/events began with a dream someone had that it could happen. I hope sharing my story has in some way “touched” your day in a positive way. Have a fabulous Sunday and remember to count your blessings 2day and every , single day. Sincerely, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in =Self Discovery=, ^Encouraging Words

@Love Letter 2 Myself ..

*All to often , actually majority of the time ,I am my toughest critic! In my quest to reach my potential  I finally acknowledge I’ve got to love myself completely  before..I can be fully ready to receive the love from a man I so crave N desire. Coming soon is my love letter to myself affirming the things I DO  like about myself instead of  the ever-growing list of things I’m working 2 improve upon. I’ve come to believe, at this phase of my lifes’ journey that in order to move forward its NOT normal to be so hard on ones’ self..Its taken me many moons to “see” the good things about Self..that others so easily see. This love letter has a 2fold purpose= a form of an “out loud” affirming chat with Self(so much more therapeutic than just “thinking” thoughts) N to also share with others a way to also get to know/explore  themselves. Having said all of that this still isn’t an easy letter to pen. So I’m taking my time. Its probably the most important letter I’ve written in my entire life. And so very personal. Later on 2day I’ll let the words flow..

~~~~Dearest Self..I do hope you accept that this letter is so long overdue. I’d like to attempt to wrap my arms  around you with my words. Ever hopeful also that my words rain down like warm liquid love.  For its taken many moons for sure but finally, yep finally, I love YOU. I’ve taken a couple of days to make sure I get this list complete N with utmost sincerity. I keep hearing over N over how special you are and I think these are the reasons why thats true:

YOU are very  strong yet so honestly   vulnerable..N that vulnerable quality makes you very sincere

YOU are honest to a fault at  times..but its your honesty that makes you so trustworthy

YOU are very, very kind..N it just comes naturally which is indeed rare these days

YOU are determined as a  bull and when on a mission you’re ..relentless

YOU are many “ables”..lovable N adorable are 2 that first come to mind

YOU are soooo funny, clumsy!, and often quite silly

YOU are very intelligent…N worthy of the Masters’ degree you’ll be again seeking Spring of the upcoming year(yea!)

YOU are witty N have a ton of book smarts..thats important!

YOU have no street smarts..which makes you still have a bit of innocence about yourself

YOU are reliable N trustworthy..makes you an excellent worker bee N a great friend/confidant

YOU are multifaceted..means you’re never a bore to yourself or others

YOU are sexy N downright sassy at times..N it is a natural part of your personality not fake

YOU are a fabulous dancer! wowwwww

YOU are quick  to admit when you’re wrong..proud of you for this took many years to learn

YOU are a very, very loving/nuturing Ma,Moms,Momma..the fact there is nothing you’d not do for your 3  Black Princes is AWESOME

YOU are full of life, love N laughter..your laughter comes naturally from the inside out

YOU have remained standing even after going thru, under, N over some back-breaking/mind altering experiences..learned to buckle but not to fall down N to dust self off and not give completely UP

YOU have finally learned humility..and thats a beautiful thing to have seen happen

YOU are so very compassionate…this is another rare quality these days

YOU are a genuine loving daughter! …this comes so naturally to you and its simply beautiful

YOU are not afraid to still strive forward to reach your goals/dreams

YOU have worked hard to re-invent self…keeping the good parts N leaving behind what was self-defeating which isn’t easy

YOU are becoming the person you knew long ago  you could BE and I am proud of US..oh how long it took to say N feel that

YOU are sensitive N emotional…realness begins with these 2 attributes

YOU are becoming the type of person you’ve always admired when seeing these qualities in others

~I look forward with great anticipation of meeting the person YOU will B when you reach the highest level of  your God Given Purpose..

I LOVE YOU