Quite often pondering over deep questions can help us search inside for our own answers and meanings..Thought I’d drop this question to see how y’all weigh in..Of course , as usual, this was inspired by an actual conversation! How can people believe in truths without evidence? Later, I’ll add my 2 cents worth..
Is being interesting in the eye of the beholder? Are some people just naturally more interesting than others? What makes a person interesting? Is being “different” the same as being “interesting”? Here is a list of things I ran across than can help to define if someone is boring or interesting…
You are a confident person.
You are up on current events.
You have at least one interesting hobby.
You are creative and like to make things.
You listen carefully to what people say.
You have a good memory.
You don’t let yourself be bored.
You read regularly.
You don’t complain much.
You start conversations with strangers.
You love to learn new things on your own.
You joke around a lot and make people laugh.
You don’t watch much television.
You tell a good story.
You are irreverent and sometimes shocking.
You are very open-minded about people. You give everyone a chance.
You refrain from talking about your feelings or focusing too much on yourself.
You are friends with interesting people from all walks of life.
You are well-traveled, and you enjoy visiting new places.
You have a career that you are passionate about.
You rarely turn down an invite to do something.
You try a lot of new things. You don’t like to be stuck in a rut.
You participate in at least one group activity outside of work and school.
You are not a snob. You don’t think too good for anything or anyone.
You don’t gossip or argue. You keep your conversations upbeat.
Alright y’all it is time to chime in! ..Are you boring & self involved or interesting? Do you find yourself inclined to spend time with people who you find interesting?
Let’s take this one step further..IF someone were to ask what makes you interesting; what would your answer be??? I’ll share if you’ll share…I’m working on my listening skills 🙂
…I began a list of New Years resolutions..Then decided I’m only going to share the one in the #1 slot..Often I’ve said, the thing a person can give me to show they truly care for/about me? Quality time..Funny thing is I began to believe/say that long before the internet & smart phone revolution! These days in addition to quality time one has to demand & give their FULL attention. How smart are we if we allow our smartphones (or anything else…) to rule our lives? And quality time alone means nada if a person’s cell phone is constantly demanding their attention>>
Ever been out to dinner(or where ever…) & noticed couples both heads bent down on their cell phones??? I’ve often wondered WHY even go out? Nothing irks me more than to spend time with someone who can’t seem to NOT answer their cell phone..Really?? And yet…I find myself quite often checking my cell for texts my dang self…Ugh, talk about hypocrisy! It’s gotten to a point I just turn my cell on mute(which I do for work /church anyways) when I’m spending ‘alone time’ with special folks..How did it ever become so acceptable to give so much attention to our social gadgets? (i.e..cells/Ipads/laptops) I’ve decided it IS only acceptable IF we allow it & do IT..Isn’t that how new norms get formed? So my #1 New Years resolution IS= Pay full attention to those that I give my attention to. Sounds simple enough, right? Now all that is left is to follow through..Until I read/write y’all again stay blessed & happy new years! 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)
Going to try to write this out & articulate how I feel about it..So hang onto your hats, caps, wigs & weaves I’m diving in head first! Ready?>.
I’ve experienced something new for the past 2 years..Very new for me..Time after time I’ve been mistaken for other than; Black. Been asked IF I were a multitude of things..Hispanic, Latino, Puerto Rican, Brazilian, Dominican, and today? Panamanian. My response , more often than not, is simply..No, I’m just ole-fashioned BLACK American..The new part of it is that it is other Blacks that have asked the question..Great majority of my life Whites have always asked IF I’m mixed..I’m not totally sure WHY it mattered whether I was mixed or not! But I was a bit surprised, now, that I’m not the only Black in my environment(or part of only a handful as I was on the West Coast); that any type of questioning about what I am comes into question>>
At first I didn’t know how to handle it..The behind-my-back comments(& sometimes to my face..) about how I talk.(you don’t sound BLACK) About the texture/thickness /style of my hair(wow, its yours!) About my background(well, you can’t relate to us because of your background..) Etc, etc, yada yada..I won’t lie my emotions have ranged from flat-out pissed off to butt-hurt feelings..WHY does it matter? I am just ME..Black & proud American born Sista! And how come I’ve never been asked IF I’m African??? I find myself thirsting to know more & more of African culture these days..Thus? I would love to be mistaken for an African Nubian Queen! Yet? That never happens>>
Then today? It hit me! While conversing with someone new(Panamanian); I realized she just wanted to CONNECT…She said you look SO familiar to me & your features remind me of HOME..As I listened to her talk it became crystal clear to me..I feel it when I’m back in the place I call home @ New Orleans..Its a feeling of being HOME. A feeling of comfortability that I feel NO where else on the planet. A feeling of familiarity with people; even people I don’t know..It just feels GOOD. Could that be the reason why other folks want to label others as theirs? A sense of bonding..A need for connection. >>
I’ve said often I’m a people lover..And I truly AM..The more I learn about & from other people; the more I learn about myself..From now on I’m going to look at the question @Are you ____? ; as a GREAT opportunity to open dialogue about other Black cultures..I won’t take offense & instead look as a chance to teach and learn..Teachable moments. Love IT.
I know I can’t possibly be the only one whose mind has a mind of its own…Its a phrase I’ve grown fond of & claimed as my “own”. Or is that called daydreaming? What about if it occurs at night though? While awake so it does not qualify as a …dream. Well anyways just a couple of evenings ago, while wide awake, I was pondering over how a simple WORD can soothe me. Not even when I’m in need of soothing; or least consciously. Then today quite unanticipated I wound up making a comment about WORDS@Words can heal…Coincidence? Maybe, Maybe not>
THINK…of the impact our very words have on lil babies..Fresh & pure they first learn of our native tongue from our lips. Our inflections when we say words. Our facial expressions when we utter words. Our body language as we verbally express words..I find this a highly important topic for that & many reasons…I wish, I wish, I wish I’d been more cognizant of that when my sons were babies. Thanking my God & lucky stars! that love always flowed through; even times when I was angry. But what IF it hadn’t? Our societal reality is that some babies are raised with & taught hatred…WE have a choice how we use our words to teach, soothe, comfort , encourage, praise!, and oh yes, spread love..>
With words I’ve discovered & re-discovered I can lift myself to higher mood levels..I , finally, learned how to write-through when I’m going-through ‘ish..Allows me the positive benefit of never having to rely on artificial chemical mood lifters. Nor will I ever…long as I can write & talk..especially on rainy days. I’ve become my own best comforter and it just feels; good. Add music & I’ve got my own piece of Heaven right here on Earth>
I’ve a gift for gab that try as I might! I can no longer deny..
So I don’t~
Depends on my mood how many words I’ll use 2 reply
Sometimes I won’t!
*Word* manipulation on paper is my preferred way to express
Can lift myself higher & higher so I’m rarely ever depressed
…….Ever think about the times you wish, wish , & wish some more; that YOU could take words back you’d said to someone in haste? You try to clean it UP and say you’re sorry but the damage is done. So done! Folks can forgive you for saying dumb arse stuff; but they can’t forget it. I know because I’ve tried. Rewind the tape in my mind/try to replace other overlapping thoughts over the words/but the words are still there in my memory. Said. Can’t be UNsaid. Just isn’t possible..but what is certainly possible..is the inherent ability we have to weigh our words. Even though far too often we don’t..>
As I’ve evolved/grown/matured to a perfect present state of ripeness I manipulate the words I utter & write..About 90% of the time..Still working on the other 10%(I’m a constant work in progress progressing progressively) of times I respond to others with not-so-nice-words. I can hang with the best of the best that like to throw jabs with words. Translation? I can use my words/my mouth as a weapon IF I feel the need to. Though alot of times I think my niceness is misinterpreted as a weakness..Its not. I’m not. My preferred state of being nor my natural state isn’t to be a bitch; but I know how to use my words like a bitch if the need arise. Real talk for real ..Jeez I digressed badly …Anyways great majority of the time I choose to use words to encourage/praise/spread the joy I feel/and to let love flow..Surprisingly enough sometimes people don’t know how to take it. As IF folks aren’t used to it from people they don’t know in a close manner. Until people get used to me I get looks (& sometimes verbal questions) that say” Are you for real?” And the answer is , Yep, I am. And I’m working on getting real the other 10% of the time..>
So in parting if any of my words have hit close to home..THINK..just remember we all have a choice. Every time we open our mouths to speak..A wise woman once shared something with me. My exMominlaw. And she was already my exMominlaw when she taught me this valuable lesson. I was going “through” or trying to; a multitude of feelings of awfulness(for lack of a better word right now) after my divorce from her son. So she took me on a ride to Skid Row in Los Angeles. At first I was horrified! And made sure my door was locked because people were coming towards the car..then? She opened her window and starting handing out bills of money to them…One by one as they walked up to t he car and every one of them knew her. But? It wasn’t just money she was handing out…to each person she said something lovely! About their beautiful smiles /bubbly laughter/lovely baby they were holding/or offered advice & suggestions. I had never seen anything like that in my life…I grew quiet as I watched the scene before my eyes. When we left she said…” I wanted you to see that your present situation isn’t near as bad as you think it is. I could’ve just told you; but showing you will impact you far more. And I always want you to spread joy even when you don’t feel like it..Let your big heart flow in your words to others..”
I’ve never forgotten that ride to Skid Row. I’ve never forgotten the smiles & smiles from the words my Mominlaw shared with the residents..Smiles from people who were living on the street in cardboard boxes! They had little yet they were still able to smile..I’m always amazed at the quick bounce-back flexibility of the human spirit! I’ve never forgotten the lesson she taught/showed me that day. And ever since then I’ve been letting the love inside flow with…words. Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)
**2013 COME AT ME because I am so ready…**
First on the list of things to hope for in 2013..I hope to see more people, especially YOUTH, stop trying to fit your square peg into round holes! There is nothing wrong with being different , U N I Q U E . Granted we all have alot more in common than differs..I don’t care if you’re Black/White/Puerto Rican/Latino/Asian/or Purple, etc .. We were all created as loved children of GOD..or so is my belief. My honest opinion? I think we were created in different colors/hues from different regions/cultural backgrounds 2 keep things/LIFE from getting boring or mundane. One of the beautiful opportunities in this lifetime, or so has been my experience, is to learn about so many different cultures when meeting people! I’m always amazed the many similarities as well in cultures..With an open mind one can broaden their scope of knowledge/tolerance/understanding just by accepting people for who they are. No matter who they are or where they hail from. Daily my mind is opening wider N wider…real talk. I’m a people person , a social butterfly, with a gift 4 gab. I’ve not met many people that I couldn’t find something to chat with…from paupers to princes…I’ll( & have! )talk 2 anyone. And the things I’ve learned in the span of my lifetime from people I’ve met, some just met!, has simply been PRICEless. I’d like to see the YOUTH use less virtual forms of communication(text, email, facebook, twitter, etc…) and actually learn to communicate orally. Face2Face COMMUNICATION is the BEST COMMUNICATION. exClamation mark. Period. It certainly has its advantages… Alright moving right along here are my predictions for 2013.
The good news. JOBS are finally coming back. According to the National Association for Business Economics, by December 2013 , our American economy should be adding up to approx 174,000 jobs a month. That is up from this years’ 157,000 . Slow but steady is better than the standstill we’d been at. Businesses are in a holding pattern ; but in much better shape than they were since the credit crisis MESS
Housing market is on the way back upwards…Inventory of homes on the market is down 20% or more in, many areas of the U.S., from just a year ago. Sales of single-family homes jumped 11% in the 12 months preceding September 2012. As long as the Feds keep buying bonds(so mortgage rates stay low..) demand should remain elevated. And new construction of homes is making a comeback, finally! For instance I work for an organization that is building MEGA housing subdivisions. Such growth is a very, very good sign …Also each new home built adds an average of 3(three) jobs for a year. The ripple effect? Folks will buy furniture , appliances, etc from retailers for their homes…Bottom line housing starts were UP to an annual rate of 872,000 ! That is the highest since the financial crisis. Those numbers are predicted to rise to 900,000 or higher in 2013. IN addition consumer debt is shrinking. Consumers have been working down their levels of installment debt; coupled with low rates for cars & houses has greatly eased the payment burdens.
Well, its official as of tonight. We’re not going to make the deadline; BUT from the latest rumblings I’ve read & heard on the news the results aren’t going to cause any deeper of a recession…I’ll comment more on this when the facts are solid.
Moving forward…2012 was a good year for me. Progressive in many ways. In a new place after moving cross country(from a state I’d lived in for bulk of my adult life..and that I adore!) I’ve gained several awesome trusted friends here already! Also gained an entire brand new church family(including an awesome crew on the choir..love ya’ll!) that welcomed me with open arms…I’m thankful to GOD N my lucky stars! for gifting me with a job that I absolutely LOVE/in an excellent organization/with AWESOME coworkers. I see this upcoming year as one of much continued growth for me. I’m excited! I’m loved/adored/blessed and content. BUT I’ve got a feeeeeeeeling that 2013 , the year of my fabulous 50th Bday, is also going to be the year I fall IN love after long last…**2013 COME AT ME because I’m so ready**