Posted in **RELIGIOUS**, @Cultural, LOVE

**Lady in Waiting**(waiting on love..)

..Will God lay it at your feet? How long should you wait on God to send HIM? Will you know the signs that ‘the one’ has been sent from God? Limitless questions that seem to inspire more questions…>>>

Proverbs 31:10-31King James Version (KJV)

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies….

Exactly what IS a woman of virtue? As Christians we’re taught(correct me if I’m wrong..) that a woman of virtue is pure, upstanding in good character, and waits to be plucked by ‘the one’ sent by God to love only her..But what about those of us who are divorced or will never be virgins again?? Are we also supposed to wait, again? My interpretation of this scripture translates to pure of heart..

virtuous
adj
1. characterized by or possessing virtue or moral excellence; righteous; upright
2. (of women) chaste or virginal

heartwoman

I think we all interpret things; differently…Also I find that we often pick & choose what scripture we want to emulate or believe in…Is a woman any less virtuous if she employs an active hand in determining her ‘fate’? Do WE sit at home waiting for any other opportunity(i.e..career, investments etc..) to knock on our doors? The answer is simple..No, we don’t…In that aspect we use our God-given talents; to achieve our goals..Why isn’t that the same universal sentiment for Christian women seeking love? Why are so many of the belief that God is going to do it ALL? One must do their part, good works, to gain anything in this life..Right? There have been phases of praying for discernment in my life(I’m in the midst of one now..); in which I am listening to the ear of my heart..It’s my belief there IS a healthy balance between actively looking (or broadening our exposure, circles..) for a life-partner & waiting for God to send one into our lives..Being passive doesn’t get anyone anywhere! If this is truly the case then why do we hear of so many(including the video clip I posted..) willing to ‘just’ wait??? Doesn’t that mean they don’t trust their own judgement/choices at all? IF a woman’s heart is pure and she is a woman of God; can’t she be guided/led by him to choose a life-partner? Or at the least attempt to step out of her comfort zone(online dating sites, broadening social circles, etc…) in order to be discovered? Real questions. Real thoughts that I wanted to share with y’all..Feel free to chime in or share from your experiences..Stand UP women of virtue and speak on it…

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**

Black. Catholic. Full Stop*Beginning of Lent and Resisting Temptation

I had no intention of discussing Lent today nor its meaning..But it happened anyway..Not within the confines of things I can control..It just happened..Funny thing IS it happened while simply explaining to someone I couldn’t keep my committment to work out due to it being Ash Wednesday..Little did I know that would lead to an entire text chat defending my Catholic Faith..Are y’all ready for this? Hold onto to your caps, hats, wigs and weaves because here I GO>>

I’ve no issue with defending my Faith..But I’ve also no issue admitting I don’t like being put in a position to have to! I don’t ask anyone else to defend their Faith and I don’t take kindly to feeling I have to defend mine..But I shall if I and when I have to..Any day 24/7 365 days of the year. I am Black and I am Catholic. Period. And there is no other religion I’d rather practice and be a pupil of; other than the first. Catholicism. >>

I don’t critique other religions. I feel everyone has the right to practice whatever religion they desire..I also feel folks that do NOT have a clue about a certain practice of religion, other than speculation or hearsay, should never ever speak as IF they’ve got knowledge of a certain religion. I’ve no problem with answering questions about the religion I’m apart of..But when you a. step to me and act as if you know all about Catholicism but come across as not knowing the first thing about it. OR b. step to me with nothing but hearsay and wrong assumptions OR c. step to me quoting me Bible scripture that you think counter the Catholic religion…My interest level wains from the inception and so does my respect level for you. Instantly. >>

Before I go any further I’d like to profess I don’t think nor feel I’m a Bible thumping over righteous type of Christian who bangs folks over the head with my religion nor my Faith…I’ll never show up at your front door trying to convert you to Catholicism. I even sometimes wonder if there are so many things considered SINS in Catholicism that I’m forever destined to be a sinner. (after all we were born sinners..) Though I practice celibacy until my next marriage(OMG that’s tough) it is said even lusting or thinking about SEX is a SIN outside of marriage..IF that is truly the case then I’ve certainly got strikes against me! ..For I’m not of the belief I have ‘credit’ with God; no matter how good I treat people in my day-to-day life. But I’ll try not to stray to far from my point>>

All of that said today was the first day in my entire life I told someone google UP what Ash Wednesday Mass meant to Catholicism ..I’d tired of texting the reasons..And just in case I left anything out, I figure I’ll give it my best shot here. For I believe a lot of folks , even practicing Catholics, might not know what the intent is behind Ash Wednesday. We’re all learning and there is nothing wrong with learning a little bit more & truly understanding the age-old rituals>>

Lent is the forty day period before Easter, excluding Sundays, which begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Holy Saturday (the day before Easter Sunday). [This traditional ennumeration does not precisely coincide with the calendar according to the liturgical reform. In order to give special prominence to the Sacred Triduum (Mass of the Lord’s Supper, Good Friday, Easter Vigil) the current calendar counts Lent as only from Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday, up to the Mass of the Lord’s Supper. Even so, Lenten practices are properly maintained up to the Easter Vigil, excluding Sundays, as before.]Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Season of Lent. It is a season of penance, reflection, and fasting which prepares us for Christ’s Resurrection on Easter Sunday, through which we attain redemption.Following the example of the Nine vites, who did penance in sackcloth and ashes, our foreheads are marked with ashes to humble our hearts and reminds us that life passes away on Earth. We remember this when we are told

“Remember, Man is dust, and unto dust you shall return.”

Ashes are a symbol of penance made sacramental by the blessing of the Church, and they help us develop a spirit of humility and sacrifice.

The distribution of ashes comes from a ceremony of ages past. Christians who had committed grave faults performed public penance. On Ash Wednesday, the Bishop blessed the hair shirts which they were to wear during the forty days of penance, and sprinkled over them ashes made from the palms from the previous year. Then, while the faithful recited the Seven Penitential Psalms, the penitents were turned out of the church because of their sins — just as Adam, the first man, was turned out of Paradise because of his disobedience. The penitents did not enter the church again until Maundy Thursday after having won reconciliation by the toil of forty days’ penance and sacramental absolution. Later, all Christians, whether public or secret penitents, came to receive ashes out of devotion. In earlier times, the distribution of ashes was followed by a penitential procession.

The Ashes

The ashes are made from the blessed palms used in the Palm Sunday celebration of the previous year. The ashes are christened with Holy Water and are scented by exposure to incense. While the ashes symbolize penance and contrition, they are also a reminder that God is gracious and merciful to those who call on Him with repentant hearts. His Divine mercy is of utmost importance during the season of Lent, and the Church calls on us to seek that mercy during the entire Lenten season with reflection, prayer and penance.

Hopefully none of you will have to answer a litany of questions about practicing Lent(and from a friend no less..) but IF you are I’m prayerful my rant can give you the the info you need..Or , even more importantly, motivate you to learn more about your Catholic Faith. Bottom line as Believers we’re all brothers/sisters in Christ..And at the beginning and end of each day that is what should matter in our interpersonal relationships..Not what religion we practice. Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted and blessed,Berna(the 1 & Only)

Posted in ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

the Privilege of Life

I was planning to join (& write..) the zero to hero wordpress challenge..And then life happened..Ever notice how even the best laid plans can be interrupted? That is more than just an age- old cliche..Got news today that has my thoughts circling..Tried to put pen to paper to let it flow poetically(which is usually how I vent the best) ; but my heart isn’t in it. >>

The news I got today was about a very, very good family friend..One of my Dad’s dearest/closest/best friends & someone I consider special indeed..One of those people who serves others(including running a program to feed the needy) almost every, single day of the year..When tragic things happen to such people? It truly tests my own faith..I’m struggling right now to understand WHY bad things happen to such good people..And all the while through my struggle this day, I’ve been in silent prayer..All day long. But it is still so very tough>>

Truth of the matter is none of us knows what is around the bend..My exMominLaw used to tell me that & in my youthful naïve nature; I didn’t understand. Now that I’m all grown UP and seen/lived so much more; her words make much more sense..Life IS precious! So many clichés & adages are flooding my mind right now..I’m sure most of y’all reading have heard them all..BUT how often do we stop during the day to appreciate life as healthy , somewhat sane and normal (although my definition of normal has changed as I’ve aged..) people? How often do we give thanks to our Creator for allowing us to live/love another day? Gratitude..Gratitude for good health & excellent healthcare!..Serving others..Spreading love..Appreciating our family/friends every single day! ..PRAYER..Those are the new phrases I’m adding to the so-called sentiment for 2014..Life isn’t a right, it is indeed a privilege; and in an instant it can change drastically..LIVE* LOVE* LAUGH*>>End of vent<<

UPDATE= Seems like a dozen days have passed since yesterday, when I wrote(or rather vented this) Waited till after further tests revealed there will NOT have to be a second surgery! That is awesome news for someone in their latter 70s(a very active 70something)..No one wants to hear they have a couple of brain clots..And it was highly disturbing to hear it about someone I consider a loved one..The doctors are 80% optimistic of his recovery chances and! he’s able to speak and is FULLY coherent..The lesson I learned is that is it harder to let go of concerns and just let GOD; than just saying IT. I also learned that this was a blessing in disguise; worst option would’ve been for the clots to cause a stroke or worse..Much as I stand by my faith/believe in God/and speak of having faith? I was walking a shaky line of uncertainty yesterday..Silently I was asking God WHY, why , why and why some more..Had friends pray with me and from coast to coast praying; for a person they didn’t even know. What a demanding/taxing friend I can BE..Yet, I’m elated my friends(including WordPress readers!) always, always come through for me(no matter what I ask them to pray for/about) Thanks be to a remarkable God for everything! >>*The official end of my vent*

Posted in ~Poetry A Berna Original~, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

>>FORGIVENESS<<

..Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you’ve given the message that what someone did was okay. It just means that you’ve let go of the anger or guilt towards someone, or towards yourself. But that can be easier said than done! IF forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it…

..This ’tis the season of love!, compassion, understanding, empathy..I can’t walk or stand as a Catholic Christian without also letting go of negative energy in my heart against those that have hurt me in the past..Forgiving IS not easy! It has meant moving beyond my own comfort zone, BUT, I sigh with relief that my heart is now pure of ANY hatred.. I AM FREE AT LONG LAST.

‘Forgiveness’ A Berna Original Poem

Mandela forgave his captors and set his soul free..
That knowledge certainly had an impact on me
Yet..
I didn’t have the courage to forgive on my own
For so long I’ve had fears that were unknown
But..
A living angel whispered in my ear
True trusted friend & confidant that I adore!
Boosted me UP & convinced me to face fear
Head ON..
I hadn’t realized I could hurt a person by feeling hate
Max of hypocrisy…
To hate=hurt someone who wished to bring harm my way
I am not proud to admit..
It had grown so easy to DO and feel
Try as I must to always keep it real
And..
To live life out loud
And so yesterday I made a vow
To me/myself/and I
I will not hold chains on anothers’ soul
That is not how I get down nor roll
What I fear more than any person on earths’ wrath
Is ruining my relationship with God; my path..
2
Eternal life
So I dumped the hate from my heart in an instant

With hardly advance notice..
Poof!
Erased . Gone. No twisted motives..Just freedom of spirit!
I can’t soar being bogged down with negative internal ‘ish
And soar..
Is what I was created/born 2 do…
To myself I’ll always be true
Who knew?
Saying, I forgive you would help me to grow stronger
I’ll not fear for my safety; not a day longer
I’m a protected & very loved! child of God~~
My soul , and my colorful spirit!, has been set free.

****FOOTNOTE = Because of the concerns/comments I’ve had from folks who knew of the seriousness of what I forgave(they’re shocked I could forgive) ..I feel inclined to leave a footnote & then I won’t deliver any explanations thereafter..I’ve been asked questions @How do you know the person is sincere? How do you know the ‘ish is truly over?…Truth IS I don’t know if the person is sincere..I’ve no crystal ball & I’ve not yet learned how to read minds..To forgive someone doesn’t mean the scar is gone..To forgive someone does NOT mean you trust them; because in this case I certainly do NOT.(I can never trust liars) To forgive someone doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be friends; because in this case we certainly will NOT be..It is not on the person who forgives to know 100% if the person seeking forgiveness is sincere or legitimate..But in my book this is now a closed book. It is OVER(& actually should’ve been from the onset..) The onus now lies with the person who seeks forgiveness to own up & let things GO. DISCLAIMER = I’m not advising anyone to forgive someone , until you’re ready. No one has the right to ask another to forgive someone..I didn’t mean to imply that in my poem..Forgiving someone is a personal matter. I think we can all learn from one another; thus my reason for sharing this subject matter with my poem****

“He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.” Quote by Martin Luther King, Jr

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**, @Cultural, LOVE, Motivational!, ^Encouraging Words

From BOY to MAN

I simply could NOT pass up re-blogging this write..This young man gets IT

Let's Talk About It

Image

From BOY to MAN

Living under the roof of a two parent house hold, you learn the value of love. Life as a boy for me was mostly all about learning how to become a man. It’s nothing like having a father figure to help you understand how to walk, talk, treat a lady and firmly shake hands as well as look another man in his eye as respect. Understanding at a young age how to honor God and follow his commandments on top of respecting morals brings an abundance of wisdom and discernment to escape peer pressure and scope out trouble from miles away. Having morals and following his commandments proactively helped me as a boy think with my brain and not with my man hood. If I would have thought with my man hood it could have created issues that could have followed me when I became a…

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Posted in FABulous 50th B-Day!

****I Made it to 50!!! on this B-DAY.! Happy 4th All. Be Safe. Be Blessed.Have FUN

imadeitto50
imadeitto50
imadeitto50

....I’m “almost” speechless..Note I said almost..I’d NOT be true to myself IF I didn’t say a few words..But I’ll use brevity(I’m still working on that; even at 50 yrs old..OMG I am 50 years old today..WOW) as I attempt to express(this might be an important thing for our sons to read 1 day/or our unborn grandchildren/or whoever) how I feel right this moment. Or better yet how I felt when I woke UP this morning at O’Dark Thirty on the day that marks the 50th YEAR I’ve been alive..Y’all ready for this??? >>

I’m almost in fear of writing too many words right now..What I am feeling is ALOT of emotions..Alot and very. What majority of y’all reading this do not know IS..There was a time onceuponatime ago; I did NOT think I’d make it to see my 50th birthday! And that is one of the many, many reasons this birthday is so, SO very special to me. I am very elated to be here. Still. Still standing. I am very blessed to be here! Still able to share, and to loveeeee, and to share love, and to try to give, give to others mayhaps a tidbit or 2 from my vast lifes’ experiences that just might make their journey a tad bit easier..(yep, I know thats an awful run -on sentence but right now not feeling like proofing) When I first woke this morning I first thought wooowwww I made IT. I am 50 today. Thank YOU my God for “allowing” to still be here. And then? Now this may sound crazy ; but I don’t care this is true stuff! I began looking at my fingers, my toes!, my legs, I reached up to touch my nose, my eyes, my ears!, I ran to the mirror…I just had to make sure ALL of my body parts were still there & in working order. I just had to SEE if I looked any different at 50 yrs old. I stood there in the mirror thinking , “Ok, this is what 50 yrs old looks like. I can deal with that. I am ready to do this 50s thing!” Now I won’t bore y’all with what came after that..Lets just say I balled like a baby. Nor am I ashamed to admit it. I am that happy. I am feeling that filled with emotion. They say sometimes pictures capture a million words..So I’ve found a few pictures to finish this special post. I’ve got a busy, busy day greeting our SONS at the airport..Yay! They are coming to celebrate 50 years of their Ma’s/Momma’s/Mom’s Life..From as far as California & Michigan; and I’m so excited I can barely see straight. I wish each & everyone reading this a very SAFE and fun 4th of July. Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 N only)

..here are a few more I could not resist adding..I got carried away; BUT it is after all my birthday and I can do whatEVA I want today. Lol, lol!

AFTERthought= Because I blog without censoring and honestly without proofing..I tend to from time2time leave something out..So I’m piggybacking myself with this special sentiment..The MOST important & valuable LESSON I’ve learned at 50 years of Lifes’ Experience? Nothing and I mean NOTHING can replace nor even come close to being a substitute for FAMILY and LOVE. Luckily I’m Blessed; so those 2 things come hand in hand in my Life. I USED to take that for granted; until I met folks in my Life Journey who has neither. I’ll go one step further to say this..It was NOT until Life has stripped me BARE and NAKED of all MATERIAL things! that I came to truly! appreciate the things that matter most to ME. When I had absolutely NOTHING , literally had given away or sold allll of my material possessions(car, house, furniture, everything…) except for the clothes on my back(well and suitcases full and a ton of shoes, but everything else) and a very, very BIG box of 50 years worth of pictures of my sons, my parents, my husbands, my extended family of friends..When I had the very least, which was 0, did I begin to feel RICH. And I mean that will all of my heart, my soul, my being. It matters less than a hot dayum what type of car a person drives. Nor how expensive one’s home is NOR how many square feet in their home..Matters nothing to me what brand of clothes a person wears. Or how much one paid for a pair of shoes or purse or jewelry..Or anything. I don’t care how much money a person makes! What I RESPECT and need from those that I love/adore is to know who they are WITHout any material possesion..That to me is what matters. For? There are times in this Life we might just have no material possessions; and we still at those times have to love & respect Self. If WE get too connected to material things! we just might lose sight of that..The things that matter in this Life, I feel, are the things we can NOT see. Love, Fellowship, Togetherness, Love!, FAMILY, Friends & Friends & Friends, Laughter, Smiles! and LOVE.
Ilovemyfamily

Posted in FABulous 50 Bday anticipation..

the CountDown Begins..Farewell to my 40s

..When I woke UP this morning the 1st thought I had was..These are the last days I’ll be 40ish..I’m eager and oh so ready to experience my 50s. NEVER in this life journey did I, of all people, think I’d be capable of embracing my 50s. My story continues; and yep, we all have a story. A story behind all of our lives that makes us who we ARE. As I say good bye to my 40s? I realize how much GROWTH transpired over those 10 remarkable years. WOW, wow, and omg wow. Time really does fly when one is caught UP; living/learning/stumbling/leaping hurdles/crawling under stuff!/and making a way when NO ONE else saw a way around things..The past 2 years? Its moved at warp speed! Good thing after awesome happening upon mind-blowing positive miraculous experiences for me! Whoa, I’ve had to hold on to the imaginative handrail so I didn’t fall or slip..Its good. Life is so good when one opens their eyes & their heart and hands things/all things over to; God. There is no other way to express it. There is no logical explanation. But that is my reality. I stand. I stand. I stand. So the countdown begins to the day I make 50 years of age. I’m thankful , so thankful, for all I’ve lived/loved! so much loveeeee/learned/seen/heard; and last but not least I thank God for allowing me to give life to the most amazing sons a Mother could have. God gifted me with 3 awesome MEN who will love me forever..IF there is but one piece of unsolicited advice I can offer to young married women out there? Try hard to co-raise the same type of MEN you’d be proud to marry. Real talk for real..I could go on & on & on about that topic; but I won’t . Anyways farewell 40s! Goooood bye 40s . Waving bye bye to my forties..Feeling unexpected emotions! Until I read/write y’all again many thanks for reading me this past-not-even-a-year-yet-that-I’ve-been-blogging. I thank YOU and YOU for all that you’ve shared , WOW..y’all have made my blogging experience here on W.P. just beautiful. Very. Thank you sincerely. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

goodbye

goodbye

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**

*Are U a “Believer”?

I had NO intention of blogging this topic. Quite honestly I had an adult “issue” I was going to write about. Its Saturday! night and well, well..nevermind thats another HOT topic for another time. For some reason I find I can’t “not” write this line of thought out..To bounce it off y’all and hopefully get feedback. Either way I’m feeling a need to write-it-out. Might not be able to sugar coat it; but then again thats not my writing style. Ready or not here I go…>>

DISCLAIMER: Sort of;  for I make NO apologies @ I am a Believer in God the Father, the Son, & the Holy Spirit. I don’t , however, claim to know all Bible Scriptures by heart..Not sure I ever will. But what I do strive to do daily! is live as I think a  Christian is supposed to live and B. Yet, I’m still learning how to even fully do that. So with that as the backdrop here are a few thoughts, ponderings(a Berna’ism) , recent relevant experiences I’d like to share..>>

First things first. A few questions I’ll attempt to answer in this write..Does being a Believer in God; give someone the “right” to claim those who don’t are condemned to hell ? Does being a Believer aka(also known as..) a Christian; require LIVING as a Christian or just professing it? Do folks who go to church get more “credit” or God brownie points; than folks who don’t? Does going to church make someone a Believer? Can a believer in God be someone who doesn’t yet “realize” they are a Believer? Yea,  I really have these type of thoughts from timetotime..my mind has a mind of its OWN I have no control over where my thoughts will wander..So I stopped even trying>>

I’ve been on both sides of the fence..Was once a wanna-B-Believer. Attended church yet! I didn’t have faith nor did I truly believe in something I couldn’t see..I wanted to believe SO badly; but truth be told I didn’t even know how to pray back then. When I listened to how my exhusband prayed so easily & out loud with me; I was in AWE. I kept wondering how that “feeeeeling” was felt..To pray to someone that one could NOT see, feel or touch. I rode on my Mom’s strong, unwavering FAITH for years..I hoped! God gave me credit , brownie points, because I wanted to Believe. Did that count? Wanting to believe; badly? I can say this with utmost honesty..I didn’t know HOW to pray back then but when I did pray? I prayed that I would wake UP a Believer in God! And then one day, finally, while I was wide awake one morning and actually reading a very, big Bible…searching and searching for something to help me! through what I was going “through” at the time..I had a spiritual awakening SO strong & so vivid..that it knocked my socks off! And I wasn’t wearing any I was barefoot…>>

Since then? I’ve been on an UPhill momentum to walk like, I think, a Believer is supposed to walk. Sometimes its a very, very shaky-balance-beam walk & other times its smooth and easy. In my heart of hearts I think that is how it IS for everyone..If not I don’t think we’d be human. But those are just my thoughts …I don’t profess to know anyone else’s experience; but my own. Even prior to my first spiritual awakening(I’ve had 2 more since then..) I was already at heart a kind, compassionate person. I’ve always tried to “see” the best in people; before I assume the worst . And believe it or not; the ratio of that working out to long-lasting friendships/relationships has been great! My  natural instinct about people, the vibes I feel from them, is pretty good. Plus I’ve found often times? If you expect the BEST from people; they’ll rise to the challenge. Now that I think about it God has placed ALOT of really good people in my life; always. Even before I realized that was the case…>>

In my walk..I’ve heard people judge other peoples’ religious practices..I’ve heard people judge MY religious beliefs. I am a fully practicing Catholic. Exclamation point. Period. I’ve heard people, PROfessed Christians/Believers condemn others to Hell who don’t profess to be Believers..I’ve heard people chastise others(behind their backs..) about not attending church often..I’ve seen Christians who look & act miserable..My beliefs? I don’t believe ANY of us has the right to condemn anyone to Hell. How do WE know that the nonverbally professed Believer isn’t truly a Believer; and just doesn’t realize it yet? So to condemn that person to Hell is that God like? Is that what Jesus would DO? I may not, matter of fact I don’t have all the answers..but I just don’t feel that is cool nor the right thing to do. Shouldn’t it just be moreso about living as a Believer and not trying to micromanage other folks souls? Isn’t the best way to teach by …example? IF I saw a bunch of miserable frowned UP faced folks on the advertisement of a so-called comedy..And I love a good comedy cause I love, love laughing..well that is one comedy I’d NOT go see! But then again I’m still learning..and the more I learn..the more I yearn to learn..>>

Lately? In the most unlikely places folks, strangers, walk UP to me & say things like “YOU must be a Believer!” (that honestly happened at my Gyn’s office lobby) or “You are a Believer aren’t you? Can I talk to you? And forgive me for asking first; but some people get offended IF they’re not a Believer”(that happened at the Library) I find myself having UNprompted-by-me-conversations about God, Jesus, believing..etc etc at all sorts of places lately. And its WOWing me..Its like WOW so this is what being a Believer IS like..Other Believers really CAN pick up on it..Reminds me of a song we sing in my choir@ They’ll know we are Christians…>>

What I’ve learned..Its the people who I felt , at first, annoyed me the MOST..that I learn from! And part of the lesson is ME learning; to get over my annoyance & to use tolerance..and next! thing I know they’re my friend. Thankfully this hasn’t happened often..Normally? I easily friend pretty much anyone I come into contact with. You’re not a stranger long in my world..I’ve got an in-your-face-this -is-me personality..Some say its larger than life(actually a friend of mine recently told me without heels on I was MUCH shorter than my personality..) Either like or love me; or not. Whichever way you choose or are drawn IN..I’ll talk you too pieces. Lol, lollll. Aren’t but a few people I’ve met(maybe 3 in my lifetime) that I’ve got NOT 1 word I wish to say. Nada..but thats rare for me. And I’m trying hard to work on that too. I say all of this to say this = IF we say we are Believers; should not we strive to live as such? Outwardly? Better yet…WE shouldn’t have to say we’re Believers IF we’re living as such. Right? Or least this is the way I see it..Would love to hear thoughts on this topic..Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only)

FootNote: Yep, I accidentally left out a part last night..Sleep was calling my name & I heeded..But anyways question I glossed over my questions  involving  attending church.@  Does going to church grant folks a get-into-Heaven-pass? AND Does going to church make one a Believer? ONE of the main things I struggled with the most in my pre-Believer part of life was attending church on a regular basis. It was my belief that there is NOT a place to go , just one! place, to find/seek GOD. IF that was the case I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find Him…IF that was the case what IF I physically couldn’t make it to church that week? What IF inclement weather stopped me from getting to church? And who the heck KNEW what amount of times of going to church was going to grant this God seeking mission? Was going to church ONCE a week enough? Oh! I had alot of arguements against churching it on a regular basis..Alot. Yet, I felt better overall when I “did” attend Mass on a regular basis even back then..Even though, I didn’t feel fulfilled..something was missing. I was going THRU the motions but I wasn’t feeling a belief in the memorized scripture or rituals. I was going to church because I figured I was supposed to go ; with my sons in tow. Now? I feel attending church(Mass) is an opportunity to commune with my fellow brothers & sisters. An opportunity to PRAY as a group, to WORSHIP as a group ..together..as I feel is intended. I also believe in the power of prayer & that its multiplied when done in numbers. And when I sing in the choir? Oh my goodness , I can’t speak for anyone else, but when I sing praises to God? Its in a sense a prayer inofitself that I’m offering up to my Maker. My Creator. My Protector of my soul and my very BEing..Its such an intense feeling for me. Sacred. I’m in tune with Him and often times forget I’m in a room, a space, with many. And it is “those” times when I feel the Holy Spirit come down over me in such a way its just, well, overwhelming, and I just lose control of my emotions. And THAT is the best, euphoric, feeling I’ve experienced on this Earth. I sincerely wish I could bottle that feeling UP & spray it on myself the rare times these days when I’m in a FUNK. You know those times when you just can’t manage to shake OFF those yucky, funky, F’ed UP  vibes? Yep, I know I’ve digressed & badly..bottom line is I don’t feel going to church makes one a Believer. Nor does it grant a get-into-Heaven pass..I also believe there are people who Believe that just haven’t put a name on it/haven’t realized they Believe/but walk & live as Believers. I also believe there are self-professed Believers who do NOT act very Christian like; alot. Personally? I fail every day in some way to B a perfect Christian or Believer. I’ve come to the belief I don’t think there IS such a thing as a perfect one. Nada. Zilch. And IF I ever run across one ; I’m going to take a picture of them & post in right here on my blog. They don’t exist..

Posted in Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic

My Quote of the 1/2 Century^^^

***Life is full of Poetic Verse***I am fine. I will B fine. I am living my life out LOUD..in Color. Yesterday, I had one of those days & experienced but a mere “moment” in a space of a long, long! beautiful  life..I’m just about 1/2 a century NEW. My life, inofitself has been what all of our lives are..yet some of us fail to realize..it IS a miracle , indeed! what we live through, climb over, run around, and Leap OVER while experiencing this thing called Life. Filled with moments bittersweet but also overflowing with so, so , so many moments of utter JOY..that it can set us on a momentum that forward propels us hurdling(for lack of a better word) with baited breath & excitement! into each brand new day. I move , alot, in a very brisk , electric filled pace; trying with all my might to squeeze the UTmost out of each moment , each experience, each! day..But sometimes I also STOP to literally smell the roses; for none of us know(honestly) when we or IF we’ll re-experience any of what we embark on daily. When I decided to blog & share my real-true-life “happenings” out in front of the world; I promised myself I’d do it with an open nature so that I might leave my journey behind to mark a life journey. My life journey..for my 3 beautiful Black princes , for my grandchildren whenever they come to B, for anyone out there who just might gain something positive from what I’ve lived. What is this life really ABOUT if we don’t in the process of living..touch many? It is my sincere desire to let ALL of the love in my heart overflow , always, releasing what I call Liquid Love..Words can touch many. Words are powerful. Words can heal. Words can help one get through ‘Ish..And 2nd to actions; words can express Love in remarkable ways. I’ve been humbled beyond the realm I thought possible; by my WordPress experience..its given me confirmation of what, I think, I already knew. People represent Love..and when they reach out 2 others, from across countries no less, it brings to my full realization why I’m such a people-loving social butterfly. For the many that reached out to me last night? YOU wow’ed me/Blew my hair back/Rode through “it” with me/Showed a stranger love, love , love..Those that have known me a lifetime know I’m a fighter..Never hit a person with my hands out of anger, yet!, I’ve fought my entire Life to get TO my God given potential..Its when things have “seemed” the darkest to me; that have motivated me to “see” light..Like in a dark room & one strains their eyes to make out the shadows in the darkness while slowly proceeding forward(because stubbing a toe! hurts like heck) I say all of this to say@ I am fine. I will B  fine always; even when I think I’m not! Like my yesterday..I am living my Life out LOUD..in Color. I am rich when it comes to Love in my Life..I am Blessed. God hears my Prayers & HE hears YOUR prayers. This is a brand new day & WE woke up this morning..And that inofitself is a Blessing and cause to celebrate. I’ll be back tonight on my usual word grind & my kool-aid smile! Until then stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in =Self Discovery=, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

*The Long Way Home..*

longestwayhomeBased on the true story(& learned lessons)   which is my Life..>>What those that know me personally, that also read my blog(hugs,hugs! , & more hugs) are privy to is that at almost 50 yrs of age; I moved cross country to my parents home. I no longer live there though & have nothing but fond, loving memories from the life-altering experience.  What that same group of people knows is that …very shortly I’ll be drafting my very first book. A book I’ve planned on writing for the past-longer-than-I-care-to-mention-number-of-years..Haven’t yet dreamt of the title; it won’t actually be titled, The Long Way Home…and its foundation though based on life(specifically mine..) will be to serve as a guide for other young girls/women out there on their Life Journey..Not a self-help book; but a self-DO book. But anyways I digress for I was driving home yesterday & I got lost..Which led me to the idea of this post. For you see I’ve gotten quite used! to getting lost(with a GPS that I seem to keep on off mode) ; and I think its been the BEST way for me to never forget my way to wherever the heck I was headed in the first place..Heck of a run-on but I can’t break that line of thought UP..In short while some folks feel getting lost OR being lost is a bad thing; for me? It has brought me to where I needed to be; every single time. That might not make sense to y’all ; but it makes perfect sense to me..Question. Do you know what your center IS? Took  me almost 50 yrs but I know, and part of me always knew, what mine was/IS..Lets see if I can dig a little deeper & explain..>

^Your “Center”= I’m going to borrow this definition from Wiki..its FAR better than even I can write out. Afterwards I’ll move forward with this post; just want to first make sure y’all are up-to-speed .

**Within each person, there is a “center” where “you”, the essence of who you are and consider yourself to be, is located. It is not a physical place, rather it is where the certainty of your confidence is. When you are distressed, it is good to contemplate this “essence place” in order to reconnect with the calm certainty that is your self.

So “finding your center” means to understand within yourself that the distressing circumstance will pass, you will learn from it, and you will remain yourself. This is important when events make you crazy. When your world falls apart, the “center” of you reassures you that the event will pass, but you are still the same person you have always been.

In religion, this “center” is where you and your God connect. In some religions, this center can be called the soul..it is the “connecting place” between this physical plane and the Eternal. It is a place of calm, a place within you that can give great strength and resolve when you take the time to “return to your roots.” It is the place of refreshing and renewal.

So if you are in emotional distress, “find your center” reminds you that you are stronger than you realize and that you need to reconnect with your God and your essential being.** Moving right along…>>

What I’ve learned is the more in tune with Self I get..the less I give a dang!(and I mean that in the most respectful way..) of what other folks think about what I do/what I say/how I act. Who are they to say what it takes for ME to live UP to my God given potential? To be all the me I can? Its my belief when we let other folks “define” who we are; we become who they! want us to be..Think about that for a minute & let it sink in. I’ll take this line of thought one step further @ When I fully realized what my “center” was/is; the less insecure I became. And? I didn’t fully come to this realization until I came full circle and  went home almost 2 years ago.. I was lost (figuratively) until I found myself and my way home…>>

So, as I was saying when I first began this post..I got lost yesterday driving home. Returning from a bruncheon at adored friends house ..and! the funny thing is I’d just, and I mean just told them, oh nooo need to worry about me I know exactly how to get home. Plus, I told them I’ve got my GPS so if all else fails I’ll finally use it..I didn’t want them to worry. Anyways, I went skipping out to my car & bam! almost immediately took the wrong route. Went North on the freeway(they call them highways here; but I refuse! to give up all my Cali terms or way of life..) instead of South. And OMG I had to go for what seemed like forever for a turn-around spot..I’d known I was lost & headed the wrong way about 10,000 miles( exaggeration but it sure seemed like that far..)  before I could double back to go the right way..What heck kind of State doesn’t make a turn -around spot sooner than..as far as I’d driven? *slapping forehead* Yep, I’m still getting used to living outside of Cali..As I was driving along admiring all the green , lush(now thats ONE thing this place has over Southern dry brown Cali..) I realized how many times I’d gotten lost since moving here. Then my mind began to wander how many times I’d been lost , period, in my life journey…Times I just felt like-IF-this-or-that-I’d-be-a-little -bit-happier …times that I either still wanted something smaller or bigger..times I wanted either more or less of whatever…times I wanted my loved ones who love me dearly to love me a little bit; deeper..times , when all the world looking IN figured I was totally happy, that I just felt I neeeeeeded something “else” to be totally happy..Yet, I didn’t know quite what was missing. As my eldest son shared with me about 3  years ago; I needed to find my “center”. At the time? I didn’t even know what the heck that meant..>>

Ever feel like something is missing from your life? Feel like a gerbil running around & around & around a wheel; on a daytoday grind of routineness? Wonder what the purpose of life is? I read on a W.P. blog the other day someone said ” Contrary to what religious folks think! ; there is no purposeful meaning to our existence or life. ” WOW , reading this now blows my hair back. Why? Because there is nothing further from the truth..How sad for anyone to feel like that. Wouldn’t their life then be as boring as that gerbil running circular laps around his wheel? Until I found my way home that is how I felt..alot. My oasis in the middle of that jacked UP barren desert? My 3 beautiful Black princes. Not only did they add meaning to my life; without them life just wouldn’t be the same. True blessings from God..Also my beloved & loving parents. When God handed out parents; he gave me the BEST. My right-hand man & co-parenting partner. Actually divorced but I swear we get along better than some of the married folks I hear about..and the list goes on & on..I’ll save some keystrokes by saying my center IS..My family/Mi familia/My extended family of friends. Its them that I think of & smile! on days that I just feel I need a bright light to look forward to or I’ll explode. They are my center. Loving them & being loved by them ..and knowing that their love IS unconditional(that I never , ever have to doubt it..) keeps me grounded. Feeling loved IS the number 1 best feeling on this planet. For me. And yep, it even outranks the feeling of an orgasm. Barely..but still outranks it…>>

These days? I feel alot like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz..Everything seems SO new. Experiences. Projects. Friendships..For I look at things in a totally different manner. I believe its called , Appreciation. I no longer take things for granted. Not only that I’m quite verbal about letting the folks that I appreciate them; aware that I appreciate them. For far too many years I ASSumed folks knew how much I loved, adored, appreciated & even needed them in my life..and while actions speak volumes telling someone these things doesn’t hurt either. I feel a neeeed to express myself these days. In every/any form possible. I say all of this to say this. I am home. Not literally anymore because I’m in my own place now once again. Yep, I’m all grown UP now again. Lol, lol! But I am at home within myself. At long last & finally. And if its taking U a long way to get home? Don’t lose hope for you can get there..if you wish to. The first step will be the hardest step to take. Your feet may feel like they’re stuck in cement..but lift one after the other to step by step & day by day striving to get home. Striving to reach your Center. Striving to BE purposeful and to get the full meaning out of Life. Life might be short; but my days are long  & full..Hope yours are also. Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in ~Poetry A Berna Original~

^^^^SURREALITY^^^^

Bookmarking this spot..this is a Self challenge to attempt to express where I’m at, in the here & now, this is the best word I can use to describe it…Never been here before yet its a feeling SO beautiful; I only wish I could bottle it up to save some for all tomorrows & share it with all of my loved ones, extended family of friends & y’all..Hopefully before  weekends’  end I’ll have penned it..No guarantees on that , for I’ve learned not to rush creativity. Just letting it flow freely..

**Surreality**As defined or re-defined by lil ole me= A state of being in a place ~N~ time in which reality is met full-ON by things I prayed for , dreamt of, wished for!, dared to reach  for  and most certainly worked hard for… A state of constant  resisting pinching myself to check if I’m really awake. A state of dealing even with “crisis” with a brand-new grace-that-isn’t-quite-perfect-but-a-major-improvement-of-the-way-I-used-to-overstress-over-crisis. A state of not being able to complain about a thing! & more often than not. ** Hoping I can  get lost in the translation as I mark this place in time poetically..

^^^^SURREALITY^^^^

 

~~~God brought me out of darkness into rays of sunshine SO  bright I have to blink

And walking shakily/steadily! with quickness of pace further away from the brink

Here I stand

Happy! even sans a man

Who knew?

Exhaling    Inhaling deeply   Taking a moment to catch my breath..

Breathing

Lacing together all the pieces , the lovely remnants & memories of my life

Please don’t dare wake me if I’m traipsing while asleep

I pray! the Lord my soul to keep

Always in His hands

Here I stand

Trying not to get overwhelmed by the overwhelmingness of it all

Refusing to back up /can’t go back/won’t look back/catch me if I ..

Fall

Exhaling     Inhaling deeply   Taking a moment to catch my breath..

Breathing

Perfect  ,ever so perfect, in my complete & utter imperfection

Waiting patiently, sort of… on my very last Love connection

The final step towards the embrace that will hold me for life

Oh! how I yearn to once again be my ‘the 1’s’ coveted wife

He is close, so close I just feeeel it deep down in my bones

So..

Here I stand

Inhaling all that is good /feeling just like I thought it would except..

Better!

Who knew?

Flanked by my beloved parents whose adoring love lifted me UP

Loved all the hurts & pain away

I’m finally having my say

Does life get much better than it is today?

If so..

Please, please don’t wake me if I’m traipsing while asleep

I pray! my soul always my Lord to keep

Not afraid anymore ..there is nothing to fear.. ‘cept living UP to my potential

Still a ways 2 GO

Learning along the way, loving! all in my path. Main lesson? GOD is essential

Here I stand

Smiling even when I feel pain ,knowing, that too will pass

One has to know pain to truly appreciate joy in this life

I swear I can see the light

This time and place seems so surreal

My excitement I can’t hardly conceal

Lusting for life and all that it brings

Most days my heart is full..I just feel like singing!

Out loud

Here I stand

Exhaling    Inhaling deeply   Taking a moment to catch my breath..

Breathing in my surreality~~~

Posted in ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

OPEN Doors*What Glitters Has Just as Much Chance of Being Gold as NOT*Walking in..>

May 18, 2013..A door is opening for me..All of my being is in anticipation..The butterflies in my tummy are going wild! To say I am excited!  is an; understatement. Are you ready when doors OPEN in your life? Do you recognize when a door is opening?(and quite often when another closes..) I am ready. Are U? I feel like the little girl in this picture..floodgate of thoughts/sensations/emotions are flowing through my mind/my spirit/my BEing. Not sure if I can express this better poetically or written verse; all I know is I’m going to let it flow..

Remember the moment or time frame in your life; when you realized you were truly grown? When you realized you’re now officially part of the “elder” group; the group the ‘young folks’ look UP to? Actually listen to?!? And if you’re really fortunate /blessed tell you they admire you? That moment in time for me is .. here & now. Funny thing about is just the other day , after I told someone my latest good news, they actually said to me.”Awwwww you’re allll grown UP now!>

In all honesty I’m not talking about just grown UP regarding age..For we all know some really old grown fools, right? What I’m speaking on is deeper than that..personal evolution. Inner revolution in short means IF you don’t like something about your life, don’t blame anyone else or life’s pitfalls, just dig deeeep within yourself to change IT. Sounds simple enough , right? It isn’t; but I can attest to the fact it can be done. Even when you’re knocking on 50’s door…I wish I could bottle this feeling/experience up and share it with the world..>

We’ve got options when doors are slammed in our face..a. Fall apart b. Cry alot c. Complain alot d. Fall apart! e. Blame it on the system/the infamous “they” /or whoever.. f. be patient until another door opens (OMG thats difficult sometimes..) About 21 months ago I had so many doors closing that I began to take it personal..I wasn’t used to rejection; honestly? I’m still not used to rejection. But  with jobs in the housing market drying up rapidly; rejection became quite the norm. A drastic change was eminent. I walked through a new door; one that I traveled cross country to walk through. It was the most difficult decision I’ve made in my entire life. The result? I’ve become a believer in miracles..>

I won’t waste keystrokes explaining each detail of the past 21 months..But I will say this. When doors open; they open wide. And I mean wide. You just have to recognize it; and quickly walk through the door before it closes. Use discernment(& alot of prayer works for me) & just do IT. I no longer feel that anything is impossible. For I’ve seen impossible things happen..mainly because I believed they would happen! And of course because my GOD’s hand is so very much in my life..Undeniably so. Almost everything in my life right now is brand new. Built of course on a sturdy foundation; but sort of re-modeled! I can’t think of any other way to express it. Digging deep to even try. I probably should’ve written this out poetically…Simply said next month I’m entering a new phase of my life. Brand new surroundings/brand new stuff!/Brand new car/Awesome brand new career/Brand new friends, extended family of friends/Brand new titles/community involvement..and I can  hardly contain my excitement. My cup is over-flowing with joy..I am ready. Certainly if it can happen to me, especially at almost 50, lol! (OMG its so close now) , then it can happen to & for anyone. YOU’VE just go to believe that it can. (whatever it is that you desire..)  My next project?  A brand new man, my last “the one” man. Finding & making time for a social life…because guess what I’m betting my next big good news will BE? THAT I’M NO LONGER SINGLE(though I’m not complaining for the self-inflicted  single time has been good for me & to me)..so making time for that is a must. Soon, very! soon. I am ready to be part of the love-union that I was born to be in..  Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only)

Posted in =Self Discovery=

^DREAM CHASING ^..forevermore*

chasingthedream>WARNING>>> Free flow of unrestricted thoughts coming..

^The GREATest limitations in this life; are the ones we put on ourselves^ Might sound like just a cliche ..but let it sink it for a minute.

Remember backintheday when U were a kid; that felt ANYthing was possible? That U could be ANYthing U wanted to be? U could dream it..so U could be or do it? That captured  euphoric even! feeling made us feel as IF we could fly IF we stretched UP  high enough? (I tried that last week just! to see if I could still do a front forward flip..yep , at almost 50 I have to self-check to make sure I still can do certain things..AND as of last week I still can! In the midst of the flip feeeeeels like I’m flying. Love it…) And yet somewhere along the way, and through the years, many(most!) of us lose that euphoric childhood feeling ; we begin to feel there are limits. Lots & lots & lots of LIMITS. The question that is just itching to be answered, conquered & defeated, IS= WhY?

Whether it is because we got tired, tyeeeed, of trying to do things & failing. Or! being told things we could NOT do. Or! having doors shut in our faces. Or! having our dreams crushed. Or! having our hearts broken..For whatever reason think of all the things we just might’ve/would’ve/could’ve/should’ve accomplished; had we kept reaching for our dreams. Raising UP on our tippy toes as IF we could almost touch the sky & achieving the impossibility of things even sometimes we don’t think we can DO. When U have mastered something  U thought U couldn’t; isn’t that feeling of elation worth trying to repeat over & over & over again? It is for me..I wish I could bottle it UP and save  it for rainy days.

I try not to often to think of all the things I dreamt of doing that I never did..That I never even attempted to DO..All the things I put on the back burner while I was busy raising my sons(well worth all the years of effort & sacrifice) & pleasing my then-husband. What I focus on now is being ever-hopeful. I am so VERY much a dreamer..and I dream in full living COLOR

Aiming for the moon; so I can land among the stars>That is the new motto I am practicing..Striving with all my might to reach my God-given purpose..Which I don’t know(nor do I know if we ever are supposed to know) what my full potential is..I’m still tapping into it; daily. I’ve discovered, as of late, that running out of time is MY biggest motivator. I don’t want to get to the finish line without having..tried. I’ve learned I’d much rather fail at something; than to never ever attempt to do IT. Breaking the chains that I had placed upon my own mind & self; has been beyond liberating for me. I wish, I wish! , I could express it better…I refuse to keep putting to the side or for the tomorrows that never come; the things I truly wish/dream 2 do. Think of the things we just might accomplish for the better IF we stretch UP so high …we can almost touch the sky! Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**

*REDEEMED*Forgiven*REBORN* Happy Easter !

I am redeemed! i AM forgiven! I really AM so REBORN! If there were any way on God‘s GREAT earth I could share this oh so, SO, good feeling I would. I promise…And I made a promise to my Heavenly Father that I would do MY best to try to share it; right here and now. When I rose this morning; leaped! out the bed as I so often do..filled with such a feeling of thankfulness/filled with a feeling of such inner PEACE/such a feeling of utter overwhelmingness…2day is a brand NEW day. Why? This is the day that HE rose for ME! And U..and yep U too..even for those of U who don’t , yet, Believe in him…Did ya’ll know Jesus died of a broken heart? So much I’ve learned and thirst to learn; during this spiritual journey of mine. I was reading yesterday, led to read something that hurt my eyes/gave me a headache to read! ..and hurt my heart to read the words. I read, word for word, facts about Jesus’s cruxificication..Written by a physician whose does research on what that does to a body, physically. This physician said he felt he’d been taking it for granted..WHAT JESUS GAVE UP FOR US..and I felt I was also. Something in my spirit led me yesterday to read words I’d never seen before. I read things that I’d closed my eyes to when I watched the movie ‘Passion of the Christ‘ years ago. Made a vow to myself! that I would never, ever, EVA watch that movie again..Now I know why it hurt so much to watch. How often do we avoid things that hurt to see? To know? To say? To go THROUGH? Know what I think, feel!, now? That we’ve got to go , through, some bad things to get TO good things. Look at what Jesus sacrificed for US and what the end result was…From this day forth because I’m in a state of NEW awareness, NEW self, NEWly re-born, NEWLY confirmed into the Catholic Faith(as of last night…) I am making a vow to do better…I was once so very blind; but now I see. I do>

Folks out there reading might wonder how I can speak of loving God 2day..Yet, yesterday I could partake in writing sensual poems. Because I am multi-faceted. I’m embracing ALL of who I am. For the 1st time in my entire life..and thats a mighty long time & many moons passed. Most days? I stand before the world NAKED. Off & online…I wear my feelings on my face & sleeves.(a fact my Daddy has said all my life) I do NOT have a poker game type face! Any emotion or feeling I am feeling is displayed on my face…I can’t seem to hide it. So I have stopped even trying to…This is who I am 24/7 and 365 days of the year. And it is who I am going to be until the day I leave this earth. For years I tried to fit my squareness into round holes; not anymore. I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drummer(a full blown band lol! ) the only difference now? I’ve got the courage & confidence to embrace it…I need no introduction. No fan fare. I am just going to be me…A loved child of God created in HIS image. A one and only ME. I am the only one who can do ME; and I’m doing the best I can to do that. Totally unscripted..and I hope ya’ll are doing the best of U daily also. God loves all of us; even those who don’t yet recognize him. I was once so very lost my dang self; but I thank GOD I’m not anymore. I feel relieved! I feel redeemed! I feel so very renewed & reBORN. And I feel like screaming it from the mountain tops; that is how GOOD it feels all the time.

Can’t seem to stop myself from digressing this morning..My mind & heart are all over the place..I am excited! I am on FIRE..As I was saying I no longer wanted to know what it meant about the beauty of Jesus rising TODAY..Which is why I read about the physicalNESS of the account of his cruxification yesterday, even though it hurt to read(I don’t even watch horror movies..yep, I cover my eyes if I’m forced to) because I wanted to know..really know…what Jesus went through for me. Just for ME(and for you also…) One can not know what they don’t know; till they really know. And now that I’m reading up on it more & more(thank U God for my inherent love of reading!) no more will anything I go through seem like I can NOT get through IT…For, if Jesus could go through , what he went through for me, certainly I can get to the other side of any earthly pain/hurts/disappointments. Right? Yes, absolutely right. There was a time I didn’t feel that way. Backintheday…I’ve been in some really DARK deep valleys…It is the reason I can now know such JOY. One can’t know or feel joy; without having felt the opposite. Please google that concept if you don’t believe me..but I’m speaking from a life time of experience. Once I was so very blind; but now I see. And that didn’t happen overnight either..Its taken me a life time. I’m just so very , very happy to be HERE . And for this moment in time? I feel like screaming it from the roof tops>

The fact that Jesus died in an UNnormal fashion for a cruxification; shouldn’t have surprised me when I read it. But he did..he died from a broken heart when they pierced him in his heart. *And he never said a mumblin word* However, if we study the scriptures he did manage(even through his excruciating! pain from the torture…) to utter 7 brief sentences. The last 7 things Jesus said before he died..>1. Father, forgive them for they know not what they DO. 2. Today, thou shalt be with me in Paradise. 3. Behold thy Mother. Woman, behold thy Son. 4. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?? 5. I thirst. 6. It is finished. 7. Father! Into thy hands I commit  my  Spirit>

~I was asked a couple days ago IF I knew the last 7 things Jesus said..I was only certain of ONE of those..So I was thirsty to KNOW. I was thirsty to KNOW why I’d been asked that question..I was led to read up on it & that is how I read through the ENTIRE account of Jesus’s death. It wasn’t pretty. It was beyond anything that the human mind can imagine. FAR more awful a death than was even portrayed in the movie “The Passion”; and I can’t bear to watch that but ONCE in my life. I could barely see as I read those words yesterday; through my tears. As if my very heart would break in two reading it..its a tough read to read. Indeed. But now that I know what I know..I truly KNOW just that small amount Jesus endured so that I could live today. That is more heavy of a thought today, for me, than ever before. I hope you’ll remember with me; that he died just for YOU. I hope you realized how LOVED that means you are. YOU are special. I’m going to do my utmost to spread that feeling; of knowing that. Of feeling that. It just feels so very GOOD all of the time..And on that note I’m signing off for now. Stay UPlifted & blessed. Until I read/write ya’ll again have a wonderful , love-filled Easter. It is a brand new day>

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**

~My Holiest Holy Week Ever~

~I honestly thought about not posting this here..Instead I was just going to write it & post on my church’s Faith blog site. And then? I decided this is such an important & integral part of who I am; that I wanted to share it here as well..Take it or leave it, Love me or not; I’m going to be ME no matter where I am..And that includes 4ever and always on my blog site. >Disclaimer in advance= These are my beliefs and my thoughts about God/religion/FAITH; all based on my life journey and experiences. I’m not saying nor implying what anyone else should believe or not. Quite simply professing I am very much a BELIEVER and this is what my Holy Week in 2013 will consist of…Ready for me? Ready or not here are my inner-most thoughts>

^Very brief(yep , I’m still working on brevity…) history lesson about Catholism. The early Fathers of ‘the Church’ used the word ‘Catholic” to describe the church because ‘Catholic’ means universal. Which , in short, means that ‘Catholic religion  ‘ & ‘Christian religion ‘ mean the same thing. Later, when folks began to break away from the ‘Catholic religion’ to form other religions; the ‘Catholic religion’ still remained what it has always been. The Catholic Religion..is the  religion which I’ve been a part of since I received the Sacrament of Baptism  as an infant. Moving right along to where I am today in my faith and the Catholic faith/religion>

^I’ve not always been as steady on my feet in my faith or my walk as a Catholic; as I am NOW. And while I think it is the NOW that matters the most..I also can greatly appreciate the laborious journey it took to get HERE. Scraped knees from praying & scraped knees from falling; from one extreme to the other I’ve lived it. And I’m very pleased to be able to say, with utmost sincerity, not only am I still standing..but I’m standing taller than I’ve ever stood. All 5’4 inches…well , without heels>

>I’ve gone through periods of life when I wasn’t attending Mass on a regular basis. I’ve gone through periods of life I sent my sons to Mass; yet I didn’t attend. I’ve gone through periods of life that I questioned the existence of a true higher being..to say I’ve struggled with being a full Believer is an understatement. Always wanted to be one; yet I was what I can best describe as a wanna-B-believer. I prayed to a GOD; that I wasn’t quite sure truly was listening at times. There were times I felt IF he did exist; how in the heck could he allow some of the things I lived THROUGH to have happened in the first place?!? My questions had questions…and yet I never totally didn’t believe. But I had serious doubts…and I for sure had doubts in a religion I felt(and experienced) as NOT being totally inclusive of folks of color. Folks that looked like ‘me’. I just wasn’t feeling comfy; and I hadn’t found a church home. (though not for lack of trying/and holding an elected seat on a predominantly ‘Conservative’  Catholic church school board..) And then…>

*My 1st spiritual awakening happened in the unlikely of places; and at the unlikely of times in my life. Unexpected, unprovoked and with no warning..just happened. Bam! What came over me was a feeling of such utter & complete immediate total JOY; that it scared me. I didn’t see any bright light at the end of a tunnel. Very much awake & I was sitting reading a Bible…something , at the time, I wasn’t accustomed to doing. Very early one morning in total quietness..suddenly..I could feel GOD’s presence. Warmth like a comforting liquid flowed down over my entire being; I can’t express it any other way. Just felt good, all over..quite suddenly. Long enough for me to be aware of it & then it was gone. But from that point on I could no longer be totally in doubt of his existence. For once in my life I didn’t have to see something to believe in it. Didn’t have to touch or feel it or taste it. Suddenly I was no longer a believer that seeing was believing..

It was at that time in my life I began to feel a need for re-newness. An inner need to start brand new. A re-start towards A re-birth. I don’t recall sitting and figuring out a plan how I was going to get that accomplished. And I’m a planner…no longer did I feel in control of my own destiny. It was at this time of my life I felt the most; lost. Wasn’t sure which direction I should head at all. Yet I was driven. That might not make any sense to anyone else; but it makes perfect sense to me. In essence I was no longer holding the reins to my life..No longer leading my own foot steps. Yet, I was on a mission. And fast-forwarding> A mission that led me over 3,500 miles>Home to my parents..A place with 2 people who loved me more than any other people on this planet>Yet, it was a place I said I’d never live, only visit, again. But I was on my way to becoming complete. Finally. I’d come completely full circle..

**My 2nd spiritual awakening came in the midst of many who looked just like me..At a gathering I’d flown 2 reach with many to attend the National Black Catholic Conference. Over those several days I knew I was right where I was supposed to be..A week earlier I hadn’t even planned on being there..It was there I realized there wasn’t just a place for me in the Catholic religion; but there was NO other place I belonged to get closer to GOD. I was home & had always been a part of it…Finally I was filled with a passion to learn more about my faith in the Faith that had been chosen for me since Birth. It was then that my re-Birth unofficially officially began..I began to fall IN love with being Catholic. I wanted to learn more &  more about it. From that conference I took with me, within my spirit, the same feeling shared there amongst hundreds of others like me. I  began to make a place for me in what quickly became my church HOME in the new city I now resided in. Same city my parents had lived for over 30 years. Their church home became mine; totally effortlessly. I don’t know if it is because my frame of mind changed & was open to it. Or a combination of that & the feeling of warmth & welcome in which I was received into the church. All I know is all of a sudden I felt like I was HOME. And my new church , almost over night, became my church HOME. I’d never felt that way about a church before..everything was simply falling into place. I joined the choir the week , alongside my parents, the week after my arrival to the “Left Coast”..Slowly but surely after that I began to get more & more involved in my new church home. I’m amazed myself! how involved I’m feeling driven to be..It wasn’t planned..Just keep holding my hand UP to serve more & more!  And with each day I can feel a warmth from within, like my inner GLOW, pouring out of me..There is no other way I can express it. The feeling of contentment I feel majority of the time; is something I wish I could bottle up ..and share with the WORLD. Which is what I am attempting to do , right here and now; with my words. Painting a picture, as only I can do, with my fingerstrokes. This is where I’ve come from 2 Where I am right now. And it just feels GOOD all the time>

**For the past 5 months I’ve been involved in a process..After a lifetime of being part of the Catholic church; I’ve chosen to take the Sacrament of Confirmation. As an adult this is a conscious effort & desire..it has consisted of attending 1 1/2 hr sessions every Monday. The sessions cover basic information about the Catholic Faith & fundamentally communicate the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults will climax with receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation..in front of my church congregation on Easter eve evening..The Easter Vigil Mass. With the exception of childbirth and marriage ceremony; there is NOTHING I’ve been more in anticipation of in my life. It isn’t simply a step for me. It is part of my re-Birth. Couldn’t be more symbolic than for it to take place on the eve of Easter…This past 5 months has been a period of deep reflection, prayer, instruction, discernment and formation..One of my spiritual advisors leads the sessions and is also someone I call friend..There was the perfect time, a pre-selected time, for me to be confirmed into Catholism. Everything is falling into place all by itself…When things are right, they just feel right, and they just happen. And? It just feels GOOD all the time>

Because I will always keep it real= When I first learned I was expected to attend Mass 4 times during this Holy Week it blew my hair back..WOW thats alot of church for ME in one week..That isn’t including attending my regular session at church last night. A council meeting tomorrow night. Basically that means I’ll be at the church every evening except for tonight..WOW again. Having said that & all of what I’ve shared here; that was only my first response and thoughts. After it sunk in? My thoughts now= What BETTER place for me to be during the Holy Week preceding my receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation? It is where I am supposed to be in preparation ..Quite honestly I’ve got butterflies in anticipation & excitement. I thought as the time neared I’d be nervous. I am not. I am just eager & ready. I probably won’t share with ya’ll the events of this weeks’ church activities. Even having shared this is extremely personal for me. But I wanted to share with each & every one of you something that I feel is very..Beautiful. My testimony. IF you read between the lines, that is what I’ve just shared …My life journey to here. My walk now as I try, with all my might, to walk the walk that I feel most close to Jesus’s walk. It isn’t nor hasn’t been a straight road. It hasn’t been without bumps along the way; and even now. But when I look back, briefly..every single thing I’ve experienced was leading me to ..HERE. And knowing that/feeling that/realizing that ALL my life there has been a MasterPlan..Finally becoming aware that I’ve never , ever walked alone..Reflecting back on ALL of the people who entered into my life; that were unannounced Angels..Leading me/guiding me/counseling me/accompanying me on my journey..WOW, just WOW. Feels so GOOD all of the time. I hope something I’ve shared here with ya’ll has possibly made you reflect on your own spiritual lives..We all have one…Just takes some of us longer to tap into to it. We’re all loved children of GOD created by a mighty Father..One who is so patient /merciful/& loving; that he waits for us to discover that he simply IS. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted /Blessed/and have a beautiful Easter experience..4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, **RELIGIOUS**, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

>Daily Prompt WordPress DP Challenge*Who Is The Most Important Person..? ..GOD!

..Who is the most important person in your life? And what would a day in your life be without them?…This is the daily wordpress dp challenge topic..Not often that I do these at all..But I can’t resist the opportunity to challenge myself by participating this time. It wasn’t difficult to choose the person who is the most important in my world/my life/my life journey; though   there were MANY  runnerUPs..Will let my thoughts flow  later as I continue to make my lifelong carbon imprint; in hopes that my sons/future grandchildren/and anyone else who can benefit from my life experiences is touched in a positive way by my words. Some reading this might say, hmmmm, but GOD isn’t a person , and thus doesn’t “fit” the criteria. And they’d be absolutely correct GOD isn’t a person; my GOD is far bigger than that. HE so aptly fits the criteria for this question..that I’ve never, ever been more certain of anything else in my entire life. What would a day without him in my life be like? I would be *dead* physically , spiritually & mentally; and here are a few of the reasons why…Ya’ll ready for this? Well , ready or not here are the reasons so buckle UP and hold onto your hats/wigs>

#1….7 years ago my doctor told me I was a walking stroke waiting to happen. Point blank. My blood pressure was SO high they wouldn’t release me out of the emergency room until it had lowered; a full day later. No one in the ER could believe I’d walked in & that I was only having headaches & not migraines. To this day I’ve NEVER taken a prescription med nor have I been hospitalized since then. I worked hard to maintain my stress level, I exercise daily, I drink raw veggies, and I thank God for having a hand in it so I didn’t stroke out.   For  the past 6 yrs my blood pressure has been above normal ..My GOD is mighty and he is good ALL  the time

#2….21 yrs ago I was in a car crash SO bad, and I was driving, that I was ejected from the car. Through the passenger window…I was knocked unconscious immediately and don’t recall any of it. I had no head trauma, no injuries; except for a bad lesion on my left shoulder. All I have left to show for it is a keloid scar; which I refused to have covered with a skin graft. I want to be reminded of my own dumb actions …but more importantly how much GOD loved me enough to give me another chance to live on this Earth. My GOD is mighty and he is good ALL the time

#3….After a divorce 17 yrs ago from the love of my life; I’d invested so much of myself into the marriage/relationship..I didn’t know who I was when it was over. It was supposed to be the end-all love relationship for me…quite literally I didn’t know how I could bear living without him. Or better yet living without being his wife. I was emotionally *spent & broken*..But now years later? He’s one of my dearest friends & was an outstanding co-parent over the years. It took me what seemed like forever; but I forgave/worked on mending my severely broken heart/and am thankful for the experience of being a very good wife in an excellent marriage…those experiences will help me seal the deal forever with my next & LAST  husband! My GOD is mighty and he is GOOD all the time

#4….17 months ago I was a victim of the recession hitting & drying UP career fields in the housing industry on the West Coast. What had once been a gold mine just poof! dried up like the cactus there..I had NO clue what I was going to do for my next job/my youngest son headed out of state to college/my love relationship wasn’t moving closer to the marriage that I yearned for. Well, wasn’t moving fast enough for me lol! I was at a cross-roads and a decision had to be made. I made one of the biggest , hardest! decisions of my life ; moved cross country with my folks. Which I had never, ever done before…Left a place I loved dearly, and still do…yet, I’ve never looked back since. I’ve got a JOB I love(yep, I know ya’ll are sick of hearing me say that but oh well….) , am surrounded by love, and have met such awesome, and good people that have supported me/my ventures since day 1 of my arrival. Instant extended family of friends that welcomed me with open arms…for I was like a fish out of water at first. WithOUT the hand of GOD in it I’d certainly have fallen into a deep funk or depression…instead? I can’t count on one hand the days I’ve been blue. Real talk. My laughter is multiplied by more laughs; probably more than I’ve ever laughed in my entire life. Life is pretty dang good and I’ve got a schedule SO busy..I’m often wishing I had more hours in a day..My GOD is mighty and he is GOOD all the time

>>GOD patiently waited for me to believe in him 100% for 47.5 years..and that is a very, long time. He has taught me to have patience, patience, and jeeeeez more patience..as I wait for the very last piece that will make my world complete. Until then though? I’m complete. I’m completely happy. And I’m completely sure that I don’t ever want to live , not 1 day, without GOD in my life. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in <<COMING SOON, ***DPCHALLENGE, =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words

~MAKE Choices *or* MAKE Excuses~

This ‘write’ is inspired by..Life. And will be written from the ‘mental notes” I’ve taken along my journey>

Disclaimer: I don’t claim to know all the answers..to anything. But what I do speak on I’ve lived. Through trial & error; and this theory is what works for me. In every aspect of my life it is working; only exception is my last love relationship. Which honestly I’ve not applied the time it deserves..but the right time for that is coming. Soon. Very soon. Anyways I say all of that to say I practice what I preach. Moving right along>

Keep it moving means exactly what it implies. Stay busy reaching/striving for your goals/dreams! This is a conscious  “choice” we can make. And it is necessary; if one wants to make sound, progressive choices instead of excuses. Ever met a person that just goes on and on about would’ve , should’ve , could’ve? They’re probably also a couch potato ..as IF that will help them do some of those things they wish they could’ve done. Staying busy , productive, and progressive keeps my mind clear of unnecessary clutter and B.S.! I simply don’t have time for it..and the rest of the time I’m sleep. But still working on getting more of that. But anyways moving right along>

Kis..yep, almost just as good as kiss! Keep it simple..Choose what you want to do. List the things it will take to get the job done. And one by one knock down the things on that list..before you know it..mission accomplished! Keeping it simple allows one to NOT get distracted(or delayed) by unnecessary complications. “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler” Quote by Albert Einstein

I used to live by chance..Trying to do everything in a perfect manner. Wound up feeling disappointed in myself alot because..a state of perfection doesn’t exist! When I chose to grab life and my goals..by the cajones and just do IT..I’ve been a cazillion times more effective in achieving what I set out to do. And a heck of alot happier/comfy in my own skin/content 100% with my choices/decisions. Sometimes  you just have to step out on FAITH. Been there and doing it. Alot. It is never an easy walk; but waiting for others to decide my fate left me feeling unfulfilled. NO one person , nobody, can make the best choices for an adult that will leave that person feeling wonderful. But making a choice that is right for me(you); regardless of whether it fails or not..has been awesome for my soul and self-esteem. When the choice, my choice, works!..I feel like I’m walking on air/gives me more confidence to make more choices & decisions/and motivates me to strive higher. The impossible truly is possible..ya’ll will just have to trust me on that one.  Or try it for yourselves.

IF there is something about your life you’re not content with; work to change IT. We all know the type of folks who whine about this or that..yet do nothing to change it. That is their choice..however for those that truly want to make a change..just DO it. 17 months ago I took a leap of faith(for the 1st time in my life journey)  and I’ve never looked back…Change? It is possible if you want it badly enough. Even at almost 50 yrs of age.

Last but not least most of us have a very, very strong relationship with our “inner voice”. That “gut” feeling. I call mine my “vibe radar”..when I feel good vibes from a person or an environment..99.9% of the time it is spot on. Same for the vibes I get when I’m making a decision or choice. Its called intuition. With most women it is strong; problem is we don’t listen to it half as much as we should. Until we get older/wiser/stronger/BETTER..or maybe that is just how its worked out for me. Word of advice? Learn yourself. Learn what you’re skilled at. Learn what you do BEST. Strive to figure out your GOD given talents. We ALL  have them; just some of ya’ll don’t use them or don’t know what yours are.  Learn your flaws and your faults. Admit them and work on improving them. Daily..Learn your weaknesses. Try to either stay “away” from them or get stronger so they won’t be a weakness. Its my belief the more one learns themselves; the more one’s inner voice can be heard and felt. Real talk. It works if you work it. Least that is the way I see IT…Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one & only) 

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Post a Day 2013, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

~~~La Bella Vita…~~~

~’There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere — and of leaving it behind them when they go.’ ~ Quote by  Frederick Faber

~”We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled.  The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.” ~ Quote by Ray Bradbury

La bella vita is an Italian phrase that simply means= A beautiful life. I made a vow to myself a few years back to do all things possible to promote beautiful moments & experiences  in my life.  I figure I can connect all of the beautiful moments/experiences(like connecting the dots..) together piece by piece to equal a beautiful life. I surround myself  with beautiful people whose beauty comes from deep within..I’ve drastically limited the amount of stress I allow myself to endure. I laugh N laugh from the inside out N smile so hard somedays my cheeks hurt by days end! I surround myself with lovely , bright colors and I adore lush green plants for plants signify”growth in life”. I made a promise to myself to visit places I find beautiful..like the beach at dusk. The picture above is a beach near here in Clearwater; in the very near future I’ll be standing on that beach to watch nightfall come..I bounce out of bed at O dark thirty every morning eager to watch the sunrise on another day; a new beginning! The quiet, hush while all is still dark yet with the promise of a new day peaking; is so serene to me. It is at that time I feel the closest to my GOD. Beauty personified indeed! There are SO many ugly, funky things happening in the world that we can not change..That we don’t understand or can’t grasp our mind around why they occur..For a brief moment I wanted to share how I embrace and rein beauty into my life. I refuse to get sucked into the filthy muck of this life..Think about things you can do to welcome beautiful moments/experiences into your life. Before you know it the dim of the funky and ugliness going on in the world; will be so faint that it can’t disturb your positive VIBE.  That is something I strive for every, single day…I can attest that it works if you stick to it. I deserve ALL  the beauty that this life journey has to offer. Don’t you?

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, @Cultural, Motivational!, Post a Day 2013, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

~~An Open Letter 2 My Black Sista’s~~Tribute to Black History Month*Written with love..

Had to show my Sista‘s some love during my venture of blogging Blackness during Black History Month..This letter format was inspired from Nova Giovanni..A brother whose a fellow WordPress blogger, comedian, radio personality, active philanthropist, social activist & author. The brother is busy for sure! And his site is listed in  my faves if ya’ll want to check him out..

Dearest Sista, I write this letter with the UTmost love, respect and regard..Sight unseen I know you’re beautiful! And the world does as well. How do I know? Many women from coast to coast and around the world try with all their might! to EMULATE  you. Don’t you find it odd when there are tons of stereotypes /racist , funky comments(usually behind our back …) about US; over the years in increasing numbers WE are imitated and envied. How so? From as far back as Bo Derek “others” wanted OUR  hairstyles; from braids to cornrolls! Folks pay big bucks to “tan” their skin in an attempt to gain our fabulous skin tones. Butt implants and fuller lip injections are the latest rage; attributes WE were born with naturally. And OUR Black brothers(men)? Well they’ve been desired by “others” since the beginning of time…Yet, you my Sista, were created beautiful just the way YOU are!

From the natural sashay of our curvy hips as we walk..to the way we can pull it together even during times of crisis..to the graceful way we age naturally withOUT even the many wrinkles to betray our true age…Black Women rein supreme when they’re at their BEST. When a Sista has come “into her own” she isn’t just a glowing sight to behold; she is pretty much unstoppable in achieving her dreams/goals/aspirations. She can come from the depths of poverty and abuse; to unlimited financial status. With finesse! Oprah is a perfect example of that very fact..and thus makes it possible for all of US…

But my dearest Sista, I wonder in the sincerest of ways, if YOU truly know from whence you come..Do you walk as IF  you love yourself? Is there pride in the way you carry yourself? When you look in the mirror are you proud of what you see? Do you  know that you walk on the shoulders of those who gave their lives for you to have the world at your fingertips? Are you living UP to your God given purpose? I never gave birth to the daughter I yearned for ; BUT if I’d had a daughter these are some of the things I’d have shared with her..

1. When you’re in your 20s you’ll think you know everything! When you reach your 40s..you’ll realize you didn’t know HALF as much at 20 as you’d thought you did. The lesson? Listen to your parents even when you think they’re not hip ! as you…truth IS they don’t just think they know it all. They do! As you mature gather people into your “inner circle” who can mentor you…Mentors aren’t just for college students. Choose people who have achieved goals they’ve strived for. Choose people who are already in places or careers you’d like to attain. And listen/observe every , single thing you can.

2. Choose your lovemates WISELY. Like Judge Judy says to all the whining women who complain about their misfortune with men; YOU picked him! Choose men not just based on looks or how fine he IS(although I won’t lie physical attraction IS a must) but also on his admirable traits , level of smarts, respect for his parents(important!) , his level of compassion, belief in GOD(sorry its the way I feel so I can’t leave that out) and bottom line ask yourself if he is a good person at heart..Who your mate IS is a direct reflection of YOU. Or it should be…

3. Hard as it IS sometimes remember your body is a precious temple..Treat it as such. If you take care of your body in your 20s; when you reach your 40s you won’t look like you’re 100 yrs old. Starting good physical habits in your 20s is far easier than later in life…Old habits are very, very hard to break. Consider your “precious temple” before you give it easily over to a Man..make sure he is worthy of your “essence” . Every time you give of “yourself” ; you’re giving away a piece of your essence.

4. There is NO one person who can be your everything! Nor should you need them to be..that was a hard lesson for me to learn. Just glad I finally did. A lovemate should compliment all that you are. Like ying and yang..doesn’t mean you have to be twins. And can often mean you’ll be opposites in many ways..BUT you should share core mutual interests. I’ve seen a pair of opposites work in sync for over 50 years; my parents.

5. NEVER be afraid to be different even when in a crowded room of Idontcarehowmany! NEVER be afraid to share your passions..NEVER be afraid to do your own thing. BE original. BE the first. DO YOU..you’ll find it alot more satisfying than being a follower. And more often than not folks will follow you…Let your little light shine and let it shine brightly. You only get one life/one shot to do this life.

AintIAWomanfurthertofly6. Stand FIRM in your convictions/beliefs when you feel with all your being that you’re right..but pray for discernment before doing so. However, also learn to know when to “fold” and give in ..its a thin line indeed..but it can be done. Trusting your “gut woman’s intuition” will save you many a heartache or misfortune; so learn to trust it 100%! Majority of the time our “first inclination” is totally accurate. It IS when we as women doubt ourselves we usually fall short…

7. Embrace who YOU are; Black roots included. Let NO one convince you that being Black is ugly or bad..your Blackness is a part of you that should be nutured..Learn your history and cherish it. Never , ever forget the many who died for you to go to uncharted territory they only could dream of. When you walk out of the door every , single day! you represent your ancestors, your parents, and YOU. Act like it..always..including how you dress! Translation: Cover UP your behind and breasts; unless of course you’re at the beach.

8. Strive to constantly strengthen your “spiritual being” and your FAITH in GOD. Without God you can do nothing; and with GOD you can do anything you dream of. Real talk….you never walk alone. Ever. Once you realize that the entire world/universe! will look different to you.

9. Last but not least remember always YOU were created for a reason! No child is an accident; even ones WE didn’t plan. You’re a unique creation…a one of a kind. One and only YOU. Strive to reach your God given purpose..Work always to improve “self” for we’re always a work in progress. And love, love!, LOVE your counter-part. Your Black Brothers. For even if you don’t fall in love with one..you were created to support HIM. Whether it is as your Father/Daddy/Son/friend/confidant/lover/or husband..do NOT tear him down. For if you do you’re also tearing down a part of YOU..and it is quite impossible to raise outstanding Black sons into beautiful Black MEN; without a sincere RESPECT for Black Men. It is quite simple to understand when looked at from that aspect….Whatever you do enjoy your life. Its a life full of chances to fall down , learn from mistakes!, and dust self off and keep right on moving forward. Love your life; and live the life you love. Anything less is a waste of time…DO YOU and do you to the best of your ability. If you do you’ll have little to no regrets.

 

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, LOVE, Positive Movement Topic, Post a Day 2013, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

*Lovers Lesson 101: Think With Your HEART*PostaDay^Berna’s Way..

**This is one of my fave topics in the entire world. In this life time. LOVE..So kick back, get comfy, grab a snack because I’m on ONE this morning! And I’m ready to talk about love; the way I see IT. Sorry folks but I can’t think like a MAN. Though I’ve got the “Act Like A Lady” part well practiced & lived for years. Why can’t I think like a MAN? Quite simply because I’m not one! And though I can “appreciate” my bro Steve Harvey’s “opinion” on love matters…I’ve got my own. Comes quite naturally for me 2 think with my heart & its mandatory that my future man be capable of doing the same. Here I go!  I’m diving IN head first…

**For the YOUTH I hope, and pray! ya’ll don’t let the mass “failure” , yep! I said it, of love relationships scare you from falling IN love. I hope you find a good example out there, somewhere, of a solid, true love relationship to have some guidelines @what a loving relationship even looks like. As I’ve matured  & trying to age oh! so gracefully I’ve come to learn alot of folks don’t have that..I’ve met far few people who are from homes that weren’t broken; than not. I’m blessed in many, many ways..took me so long to come to realize that. Might sound like bragging but it is simply the truth. Fighting the urge to digress ….Simply said as a child of life long parents IN love/still married/life partners; I had no excuse to fail at marriage. Right? Mayhaps…so instead of beating self UP(done enough of that over the years..) I’ve decided to look back on my love relationships, briefly, to discern what the lesson was/IS. My sum UP(a Berna’ism) from experiencing being “in love” 3 times; is that I’m pretty dang fortunate. Only married one of them and friends still with all 3 of them…Let love begin with friendship. Why? Because love that is allowed to grow from a friendship; never ends. You’ll no longer desire to be in a union with them; but you’ll always care for them as people. Lovers lesson #1=Choose good people with good hearts…It matters!

^There is NO substitute on this planet, in my humble opinion, than being IN love. A close runner UP to giving birth/life! to being the number 1 type of love one can experience on earth. Letting go of one’s heart strings is worth risking possibly being hurt…It has taken me years to truly believe that and to be ready once again. Being ready to love means trusting someone with your prized possession..Your HEART. For some of us that are so used to being control freaks; letting go to BE loved is not an easy task. Especially when one has been hurt before…If you’re young and have already been hurt you must first forgive whoever hurt you. And then let that hurt and pain GO. There is no chance for new love if you’ve not done that first…Exclamation mark. Period!

Love IS how you feel when in the company of the object of your affections!  That is how one falls IN love..When someone else’s heart links UP with yours. Sometimes very quickly. Yep, I’m a believer in love at first sight. Not just from a visual perspective but when 2 hearts and 2 souls link UP from the onset…Has happened to me once and it was as  real as real can BE. With love even the impossible is quite possible…

I think women and men are as different as any two things on this planet…I feel GOD made us soooo different to always keep things exciting/fresh; and far from boring. Just trying to link UP 2 such different ways of thinking takes alot of effort/time/patience/trust/RESPECT/understanding/COMMUNICATION..and when alll of that syncs UP it is something that NO one(no man, no woman!, nor creature) can break apart. Solid as a rock; Ashford & Simpson wrote a song about that once. But! thatsbackwhentheymadeREALsongswithREAL lyrics…

Think with your heart and trust the feelings that come about because of it…Try hard to remember IF it is meant to be; it will BE. So don’t attempt to force love. Don’t settle for ANYTHING less…if you think with your heart it is easy to discern real love from lust. For the younger woman out there never forget this=ANY man can lay down with you and have SEX…Takes “the man” your “the ONE” to make love 2 you; he will take you 2 heaven mentally! He’ll fill your thoughts ALL throughout the day and every  single one of your dreams at night…I wish for ya’ll the same thing I’ve prayed for & know will enter my world this year. I can feeeeeel IT coming…Instead of just saying I’m waiting on my “the ONE” I’ve got a new name for it. I’m waiting on *MY BARACK OBAMA * to find me! Not Michelle’s(she better be glad she snagged him first cause there is a longggg line of us who wanted to be #1 ) but a different one with the same qualities(ohhh he loooooks at her with such LOVE) ; one that was created/born! just to love ME. And on that note I’m signing off….Until I read ya’ll/write ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed! 4 ever sincere, Berna(the 1 n only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, Post a Day 2013, WOW

>>BLOGGING is…<< WordPress DP Challenge*PostADay*

Blogging IS something I’ve quickly grown to love…Not only that I couldn’t have picked a better place to begin my new venture than WordPress! I’ve had an amazing 3 months here and of course I’ve got a few things to say about it. This is the way I see IT..

Deciding to BLOG isn’t an easy decision..least it wasn’t for ME. I was going to expose my most intimate and innermost thoughts/ideas/feeeeeelings. In a sort of way like being butt-naked and walking into a formal event! Can you imagine?!? Anywayz its been something I’ve wanted to do for quite some time now..for several reasons. To first & foremost share from my lifes’ journey with the youth..the good, the bad, and yep! the ugly. To nuture and share love is part of my natural DNA. However, I wasn’t quite sure how I’d be received or what I’d encounter..for I can be quite blunt and at this age say pretty much what I’m feeeeeling. Just flows off my lips and now my fingertips. And after all this is the internet! Took cajones(not literally for I’m all woman..) to join a website, with NO prior knowledge of how to even design a page(still learning; I can’t tell you from day 2 day what color my font will be lol!) and share parts of ME/my thoughts/my experiences/my original poems/my emotions  with the entire world. To be precise  I’m ONE in 60, 593,723 bloggers on WordPress. And to receive comments from even ONE person in the midst of such outstanding writers?!??? I am humbled , almost, beyond words…I’ve had people from alll over the world hit my blog page: Canada, Cambodia, Africa, Saudi Arabia, Mexico, Argentina, England, France, India, and of course my country the United States. I’ve interacted on blog pages with people from all countries, all creeds, all backgrounds..pretty much the same as I do offline. I’ve invested alot of my spare time into what I share here…proof reading over and over after I let my thoughts flow freely from my fingertips. I’m always COGNIZANT that this is a permanent carbon copy of my words. Of parts of me…Who knows? My future grandchildren might one day read this! My parents read this. My church family/family members & friends read this. And recently my hair was blown back! when I discovered co-workers actually print what I’ve written here as a momento! OMG and WOW..talk about humbling. So, I say all of this to take a brief station break from posting a topic to say THANK YOU to ALL of YOU.  You’ve made my first step into the blogging world a BEAUTIFUL learning experience. And as I further work on my writing skills I aspire to reach the level so many of ya’ll here are..ya’ll keeeeep the bar raised HIGH here. I love IT. As always stay UPlifted & blessed until I read/write ya’ll again…4ever sincere Berna (the 1 n only)

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Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, Motivational!, ^Encouraging Words, ~To B Continued, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

~Tribute 2 My Eldest Dr. SON~*DPPostADayCHALLENGE*~Berna’s Way..

>>I’m back ! And I’m going to wrap UP this week of leaving my carbon footprints  by giving props to my eldest son. My week began busy; ended busier. (and the upcoming weekend is JAM packed) This week is ending on such  a HIGH note for me..that I’ve GOT to blog about it. Hopefully my thoughts will help someone else out there to hold ON for the good happenings that this life holds for all of us…

**There once was a child born of a single mother. A child who never spoke the usual babbling which little babies speak. When he began to speak at almost 2 yrs old; those who hadn’t carried him in their womb for 9 months , thought something was wrong. His mother said he will speak when he has something to say! And when said child finally spoke he spoke in FULL sentences. WOW.  An  intense child and highly intellectual..from birth. Read to by his mother when still inside her womb. Loved, adored N cherished by his Mom before she ever laid eyes on him. Said son has shared his Mom’s love of reading, yea!, his entire life. Spent every summer in school since the 9th grade till now…Whose legs were so “bowed” they made his legs curve under him. He was WELL fed , lol! , and loved. Those bowed legs and lack of health insurance was the deciding factor for his Mom to leave college N join the military. As a single Mom she felt she needed a steady salary N health insurance for her son…I’m going to fast-forward through alot of this because emotions are running rampant N high this evening..

**My eldest son is the type of son that every parent DREAMS of being their eldest child! He has been N is an awesome  role model for his 2 younger brothers..Yet his humility is one of the most beautiful things about him. He has faced N handled adversity in his lifetime with grace , wit, intellect, and a very matter-of-fact manner. He just makes things look SO easy! He had a self-driven desire his entire life to attain a PHD..nothing less was going to suffice. He has gone to school including summers for 17 years(including high school) He IS an academic scholar N an academian. He’s traveled & done research to South Africa & Ireland; as well as countless cities in our country for academic conferences.   And tonight! he faced the Board at a prestigious University(and he is a PHD candidate there riding on a FULL fellowship)  in our country and defended his proposal of his dissertation for his PHD. And after 2 hours on his very FIRST attempt..passed with flying colors! What that means 2 me as his Ma..is almost to difficult to translate into words. What that means for our direct family on both sides of our family tree..is progress! Our very first Dr._____.  Proud can’t quite describe how I feeeeel tonight and have felt his entire life. This tribute is my attempt to express how I feel about my eldest son/his achievements/his humility/his love& concern for his younger 2 brothers/his remarkable REALness/his dedication of doing outreach to others considered minorities(his Masters thesis) /his love of family N his honor to his parent..his Ma..and his surrogate parents..his grandparents(my parents)

**A single parent ALWAYS worries about NOT being enough for their child. I always worried what my child was missing out on because his Father was NEVER a constant in his life ..nor has my son any recollection of what his Father even looks like. But not once has my son used that as an  excuse to fail(quite the contrary he’s always been an over-achiever/honor roll student/Who’s Who in Academia while also maintaining an active social life with an array of LIFElong  trusted friends)  nor has he expressed feeling any loss in  his life due to that being factual. His grands(my parents) stood UP and filled the gap. It has been an amazing journey..I’d like to say to ANY single parent out there the following:  IF you don’t have the physical or financial support from the other parent…reach out to others you trust in your family to fill in the gap. If that isn’t possible find & interview(and do background checks) a Big Brother/Big Sister through that organization. Reach out to trusted clergy and church members. It truly takes a VILLAGE, in my opinion, to properly raise a child . By whatever legal means necessary…

~When my son came into the world my faith in GOD was hardly apparent..I brought my son(s) to Mass wanting SO badly to believe fully in GOD; yet I didn’t. BUT I so wanted to! And as I look back on nights like this when I can hardly sit stillll because I’m SO excited/happy/content/overjoyed..I can clearly SEE how the hand of GOD was in every, single part of my life. Even long before I believed. It is ONLY by the grace of GOD and a patient GOD(that waited years for me to believe…) that I’m even around to taste the beauty of my son’s victorious achievement tonight. I give ALL the glory to GOD..I was prayed UP as my son went before the board..as well as called upon friends/loved ones from coast 2 coast to form a prayer chain.  I’d like to also  say;  single parents hold ON for as long as you do ALL you can DO with LOVE for your child..alllll the years of sacrifice! will pay off in great ways. Don’t lose hope(ever) and stand strong. And read, read, READ with and to your child..reading is truly fundamental. Try hard never to use the word never with your child. Encourage them to reach for their dreams; even if their dream seems impossible. Be their cheerleader!  I’m writing this tribute to my son tonight because he is SO humble he won’t pat himself on the back. So I am doing it for him! Years N years N years of hard work ..I’ve watched you (even from afar) with awe as you never buckled..just kept driving onward and forward. You’ve done things I dreamt for myself long ago…and now I feeeeeel like a part of me  has accomplished that dream. The part of me that is YOU. Many Congrats my Dr. Son! I love you always N always, Ma…

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^

~Ephiphany? Aha! Moment or Full Circle Moment?*DPCHALLENGE*PostaDay

 ONE   last of these type of  inner-seeking/self-discovery type of posts N then? Onto what I’m ITCHING to write about..Politics! Took a break from it for a while, breather of sorts, but I always try 2 stay posted and as ALWAYS  I’ve got alot 2 say. So next UP will B musings on whats going  on with our guys in D.C..But for now I’ve got a question for ya’ll. Anyone out there ever feel like you’re always, always! the one in class(or any presentation scenario..) and YOU are the only 1 who raises their hand to ask a question?!? And then! after class or the presentation other people run UP to you and say thanks! for asking that because I had the sameeee question but didn’t ask..Why? Why? I am always, always the ONE to ask such questions..I sit there for a minute looking around , hoping, praying!, someone will ask. But they don’t. N then I just can’t help it I’ve got to know so UP goes my hand..Whether I’m nervous to stand UP in a crowd  or thinking  that folks will think it is a DUMB question I’m asking  or whatever, I’ve just got 2 know…

~There are times in ones’ life when all of a sudden bam! you instantly go from NO clarity to clarity..In my lifetime it has happened twice. As if a great big fog was suddenly lifted. Recently, this past summer, was the strongest such happening for me. I literally “felt” as if I was living@I once was blind, but now I see. Honestly, I can’t explain it any other way. I didn’t see a big light bulb in my minds’ eye. I didn’t see GOD in my sleep. But what I did experience was so life-altering and beautiful..and one day I’m going to try to express it properly by writing about it. Not sure if I am capable  of giving it the due justice it deserves ;yet. (but when I feel I am I’ll blog about it..) I’ll say this though : I went from BEing  a wanna-be full faithful  believer that was practicing Catholism by going to Mass TO a fully faithful  BEliever in GOD/thirsting N thirsting  to gain a closer relationship to GOD/fully immersed in involvement in my Catholic faith/church/choir. Bam! Not sure if everyone experiences such ephiphany moments; but I sure wish it was something I could bottle UP and give to everyone! It is that magnificent of an experience.

Aha! moments are a bit more common, right? These are what I truly call the “light bulb” moments…When you just know what you know because you know IT. And! you know it as it is happening..not after-the-fact. Or least this is how it has happened to me. One such moment was when I first met my exhusband. Yep! Don’t think I ever told him this(or I might have because I talk alot..) and since he reads my blog NOW he’ll know..But from the very first time I laid eyes on him I just knew he’d be my husband. Truth is he laid eyes on me first & I had NO clue he was watching me..but when I did see him I knew. And I was right. Pretty happy I had that aha! moment 🙂

Last but not least@full circle moments..I’ve only had ONE of these in this lifetime. And it has been such a beautiful yet sometimes overwhelming experience. Being an emotional person by nature I’ve had to stifle the butterflies in my tummy at times this past 16 months. Other times I’ve had to let the tears of joy just flow and flow..including during Mass .(which has been happening more to me than ever before as of late especially when I’m singing certain songs in Mass..Yep, the Holy Spirit has been moving through me alot) I think  a full circle moment to me means is that I had to come back 2 where I began to complete my life journey. Instead of being a step backwards(as I felt it was when I made the journey 16 months ago..) it has become something that has enriched my life. For the 1st time in my life I know I am right where I am supposed 2 B. In every possible way…N I have literally come full circle. And it just feels right, and just!, and good. 

As I started this off saying IF you find that in a room full of people you’re the ONLY one who will raise your hand to ask a question…It just means you’re NOT afraid to be different! And that even IF you are afraid on the inside(as I often times am ) you move forward/or ask that! question/or make a change for the better; thus over-riding your fears..Which takes courage and strength. I’ve been my own worst critic for the majority of my life; but what I’m trying to share with ya’ll is the hope that you’ll give yourselves credit for your great qualities(like courage/strength, etc) There will be many defining moments in our lives@ephiphany, aha!moments, full circle moments…as well as just precious moments in time. I treasure them all as I hope you do…I’ve learned to complain less & less in this lifetime. Why ? Because as we’re wasting breath complaining; there is someone somewhere taking their very last breath of life. Which would you prefer to be doing? Yep, me too! Be back tomorrow with my take on whats going on in D.C..till then stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~To B Continued

@DEPTH Alert@ HeArT VISION*DPCHALLENGE*PostaDay Berna’s Way..

Ever heard the saying @From the mouths of babes?…Well, though not a baby anymore my eldest son, without knowing IT, said something 2 me about 4 years back that made me thirsty 2 find mine. My center! My core..We were chatting about something or other N he simply said, ” A person that is seeking to truly know Self; has to first find out what their center IS…”  Took me another 4 years but I finally found  mine & I found it by accident. Although, I kinda sorta take that back for I’ve learned in this lifetime there are NO such thing as accidents..Gathering my thoughts on this topic but I’m coming back very soon…Stay Tuned..Here i GO digging deeper into MYself and in the process driving closer 2 finding out the meaning of Life N its purpose N my God given purpose within IT.

**Quick backdrop : I began this blog(my 1st!) in an attempt 2 share of myself, of my lifes’ experiences with others..In the process though I’ve found that I’m actually also simultaneously journaling. WOW. I’ve not kept a journal since I was a very lil girl(yep, I’ve been writing a long, long time..) N yet on these pages with every single word I am marking where I was on this day..or any given day I write. I free flow. No practice. No trial run. Nothing written down..Just me at one with my thoughts and trying to type as faster, faster, FASTER as my thoughts pour from my mind . My personal touch, hopefully!, my style, who i B  shining thru each every keystroke..non-rehearsed. For that is exactly how I’ve lived my life..no practice rehearsals..just doing IT. Mistakes N all..

So living IN a world that is known as a MANS world, yet, being the epitome of a WOMAN(I’m a very girly girl N yep! pink is my fave color) I’ve for SO long felt I had to mask/hide/change/cover/dull it down a part of ME that is so strong a part of me its been like trying to cut off a LIMB..all these years. Until one day about 4 years ago , bam!, I decided to no longer…Why should I kill a part of ME just to so called make IT big? Must I do that just to survive in a career in which men RULE? Is that the only way I’m going 2 reach the glass ceiling? Daily and continually NOT being who I truly AM?  How jacked UP a feeeeeeeeling that is/WAS. First of all it is quite impossible to fit a square peg into a round hole..I tried! Can not do it..and it is very draining. Emotionally draining..N that is yet another reason I can’t totally give my co-sign to Steve Harvey’s “Think like a man, Act like a Lady” concept. Know why? I’ve LIVED that. Been there, done that..N  I’ve got many T-shirts/emotionals scars/very hurt feeeeeeelings, etc etc, yada yada to prove having been there. The money was GREAT I can’t nor won’t lie about it, however, the COST to me personally wasn’t worth it. I’d rather B without a penny  in my purse and not own a lick of material possessions(been there too…) than to NOT be true to who I am. Yep, I said it. I care less about material gain or fortune/fame..I just want to be freeeeee to B who I was created to B. There is such comfort in that. It just feeeeeels good ALL the time. It is that good 2 me N for me..and worth the sacrifices it took 2 get here. I like(love!) me now..whereas I didn’t like the me I was before. I’ve worked hard 2 get here. I give 100%! to ANYthing that I do and honestly? I worked double time to finding me..my center..my core being. If I said it was easy I’d be lying through my teeth..instantly brings tears 2 my eyes just reflecting! for this moment..on how hard it has been. But I am here. And in seeking my core being, my center, I found that it was something that has been DISCOURAGED alot of my life. Because it has been said that it can also been seen as a weakness..and yet! for those who truly know ME know I am strong. Took even me years N years N years 2 learn just how strong I was/AM.

My Core BEing/My Center revolves around=I AM emotional by nature. I AM sensitive by nature. I AM compassionate by nature. I AM kind by nature.

So everything that I am naturally wasn’t conducive for the environment I was placing myself IN. I have NO poker face! (even though I had loved ones trying to coach me on that..didn’t work!) And yep, I wear my HEART on my sleeve…which btw my own Daddy has told me since I was a very lil girl. Daddies see the core in US long before we do; or least has been my case. The freeeeeeeeeeedom  I’ve felt since letting GO of the person I thought I was and embracing the person I already WAS on the inside (since birth) ..N yet had been trying to suffocate..has been beyond liberating for me. And it didn’t happen overnight either; it has happened in stages. Rome wasn’t built in a day nor does one re-learn who they are instantly..especially when they’ve been masquerading as someone else for YEARS. Anyone out there wearing a mask daily? You might not even KNOW you are..had I not done the work! it took 2 find my “center” I’d still B doing someone else also. But now thank GOD/my eldest son/& my lucky stars I am doing ME.

 

 

I’ve quite naturally started studying , Heart Vision: the hearts clarity of vision will lead you to a path towards contentment. I realized as I got closer to finding out what my center was that when I think I think WITH my heart + my mind. It happens very naturally for me. I can’t stop IT & I tried for years..Now? I’m learning to just go with the flow of it. All my life I’ve felt “vibes” from people; whether good or bad. I thought it was normal. I figured everyone could feel such vibes! N these vibes are amplified when I touch people. Even in handshakes…I know, it sounds crazy. But it is MY truth. It is also why I am a natural toucher/hugger/I even talk with my hands LOL. I say all of this 2 share, most personal thoughts, just in case anyone out there just might need/desire 2 find their “center” or “core” also. This was my process of getting there. Believe it or not as long as this is it was the condensed version!…I’m still working on brevity. Very much still a work in progress I am…Stay UPlifted N Blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, **RELIGIOUS**, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~To B Continued

~~Daily Prompt~UN FaithFUL *DP CHALLENGE*Post A Day@Just DOing IT

I saw this prompt on WordPress this morning N could hardly believe my eyes! A chance to write, solicited, about my journey of Faith. A journey which spans an entire lifetime, mine, N a myriad of phases. From wannaBbeliever/attending Mass all the while over the years, yet not feeeeeeeling IT/starting 2 grasp IT/seeking 2 fully believe/Believer in every bone of my body and HUNGRY to learn more N more. Going to take a few moments to gather my thoughts so that my keystrokes can relay what I’d like to share. ^2 B Continued Soon^

Where do I begin  a topic such as Faith? A topic that has become so very personal 2 me that I’m excited just being about 2 write about IT. Saying that, keystroking it rather, still amazes me because a mere 5 years ago I’d not have felt such excitement over the topic of Faith. I was IN a different time N space then. A different mindset. And yet, I’ve been LED to right where I am now. The here N now. Present in the moment N oh! so content , pleased, HAPPY, to B in this moment. Any1 who has known me for a decent length of time knows that is a miracle inofitself…

I can not promise this will B a post of brevity. But I can promise it will B sincere N hope it is received as such. Never do I profess to be an expert in anything..though I’m experienced in ALOT ..I possess a PHD in life. From extreme moments of joy 2 being down in valleys so deeeeeep I didn’t think I’d make it out..alive. Real talk. There once was a time I didn’t think I’d live to see 50 yrs of age. There once was a time I did NOT want to live to see the age of 50 yrs of age. There once was a time my own actions /feelings were indicative that I didn’t like myself very much. And  yet by my outward appearance people thought I loved ME. But on the inside I was lost…a part of my inner being was murdered when I was a teen. An action that even my own Daddy couldn’t *stop* from happening to ME..and yet here I stand on the brink of making IT to 50 yrs of age. I am in AWE of that and that is tough! to express to people. So I no longer try…I just AM . Trying to live UP to my GOD given purpose. Far from that goal yet I’m so very , very much closer than I ever have been in my life. And you know what? I just feeeeeeeeeeeeeel GOOD about 99% of the time! Real talk. Alive, vibrant, and leaping out of bed each day @O’dark thirty hours eager! to start each new day. I say all of this to attempt to express to ya’ll how very GOOD that my GOD is allll the time. I’d not have wasted these keystrokes to say such personal things if not trying to show you just how FAR my GOD has brought ME..through things I didn’t think I’d ever make it through. Once something I yearned to believe IN(because those I loved dearly@my parents believed so strongly…) and now? I believe so strongly that  at times the feeling of goodness feeeeeels so good I get overwhelmed. Ever felt something that good? So good it scared you? And yet even that scared feeling of butterflies about to burst out of your tummy felt good?!? That is how I feel most of the time now…I can’t properly describe it any other way.

After experiencing a very  unexpected spiritual awakening in a state I’d lived in &  loved! since 1989..I found MYself led, guided, to move cross country. 2 beginning anew. At 48 yrs of age…I was simply put, terrified to do that! Yet everything happening was urging me/gently pushing me towards making such a bold move. I was afraid to do it. I was afraid not to do it. Hope that makes as much sense to ya’ll as it still 2 this day makes 2 me. Shortly after relocating cross country I was fortunate enough to attend my very 1st(but certainly not my last..) National Black Catholic Conference in Indianapolis with my parents & new church friends. AND MY LIFE WAS FOREVER CHANGED. Over a period of  4 days I for the 1st time in my life felt I belonged NOT just to the religion I’d been a part of since birth..but I began to feel remarkably different. I began to see things differently. I began to say things differently. It happened so suddenly! I had begun to believe in GOD fully and almost overnight. Not forced nor reaching to believe as I had my entire 40 some odd years…Bam! I believed. My life, the years past of my life/events of my life/people who had entered my life/circumstances that happened in my life/…began to rewind in my mind. Over days N days..as IF someone was playing a movie of MY life. I couldn’t STOP it..seriously thought I was losing my dang mind. I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening. Not even my Mom. Sounded far too crazy to try to explain..or did IT?

My entire outlook on things changed..Instead of feeling sorry for MYself about things I’d left behind..Stead of lamenting about people /loved ones! I couldn’t see daily(that I missed as if it were the AIR I had to breathe..) I threw myself head 1st into becoming the type of person I so admired. I began to WORK on tweaking/changing every facet of myself that I did not care for. Tough job to do at almost 50 yrs of age…I didn’t consult anyone. But I began to PRAY for guidance. I simply had a chat with GOD N asked him to please let me seeeeee the me that everyone else loves! Let me begin to love…ME. Heal me from things that happened long ago that were NOT within my control. Allow me to learn to lose  the tight, oh so tight! control, I have held over my heart. Let me live life to the potential I know you’ve plotted out for me since before my conception. And then! I realized I was talking to GOD..and I fully believed he was hearing me. Just so happened the exact way  I just wrote it. I became a full believer without the least amount of effort. A process of things over a lifetime brought me..here. So I’ve decided that it must’ve ALL been a part of HIS plan. That had my life happened any other way I simply wouldn’t have gotten IT. Once I was so very blind; but now I see EVERYthing so clearly. I kid you not. N I’m as serious as I’ve ever been about anything.

Now? I’m like a sponge. I am on a personal pilgrimage..Still journeying to get closer to my GOD. So much I’ve yet to learn . I don’t confess to have Bible scriptures memorized. Nor do I profess to be a perfect Christian. I am NOT a perfect anything. I am just me..the one and only creation of what my God created me to B. I don’t even long to be perfect! I think that would make me boring as heck…What am I? I am perfectly imperfect.

I’ll leave ya’ll with this final thought. Fear not if you don’t yet believe 100%…just wanting to believe is a start! WE are ALL loved children of GOD..whether we believe or not. This is what I feel. This is what I’ve come to know. And if we just stop trying to follow our OWN will N let HIS will for us B and go with the flow when we are LED by him…life gets SO much easier! I stress and worry so much less than I used 2..that is yet another miracle! inofitself. Not saying I don’t still worry about things; but its FAR less than I used to. Progress…for Rome wasn’t built in a day. And it is ridiculous to think anything, including a person, especially one almost 50 lol! would change totally overnight…but I’m getting closer. I am WISER. I am STRONGER. I am SO much better than I used 2 B. Can’t ask for much more than that. And? If it can happen to me, and I can assure you my words R true, it can/WILL happen to anyone. You if you want it 2. All you have to do is ..BELIEVE. Stay UPlifted N blessed ya’ll. N remember 2 count each and every one of your blessings 2day N every day. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, @Cultural, WOW

#5 N Final~2013! New Years ReSOLUTION________*DP CHALLENGE*@Just do IT

And wrapping UP the last spot on my list of New Year promises to myself..I’ve saved the best for last. N that is the truth regarding this resolution!@the BEST will B my last.  I’ll truly enjoy writing on this topic.   Write ya’lll  later on this  evening..Hang tight because it will B worth the wait as R all good things~I’m finally back! And if it seems as if my words begin to seem like they’ve got a poetic flow in this piece…its because I’m a poet. It comes naturally. So here goes my flow of thoughts/might at times involve run on sentences/its because fast as I type my fingers may not always keep up with the freeflow of my thoughts/especially regarding this topic/unrestrained/uninterrupted/thoughts/emotions/from my spirit N heart

Anyone who knows me or has had a conversation with me in the last 6 months or so already knows what my final reSOLUTION is..Probably should’ve listed it as #1..Yet, seems appropriate somehow for it to be last in this segment. First N last positions in anything hold their own level of importance. However, my last resolution, vow to MYself is to finally! let go/let GOD/and allow myself to fall IN love. For one final time. 2 last the rest of my life…seem dramatic? Not really. Because I’m so very serious…

I’ve got a feeling felt in every single bone in my body that I’m close, SO close, to being discovered by my ONE, the one that God created to love me and only lil ole ME. He’ll love unconditionally and take me as i AM. He won’t try to change me yet he’ll deeeeeply appreciate all that i AM..alll that I’ve lived through, survived!, and he’ll realize I’ve been preparing MYself for him my entire lifetime. He’ll realize that I’ve saved the best of me for HIM. He’ll be ready to collect his reward, his own little piece of paradise, that he has waited for his entire lifetime. He’ll be the kind of brother who is ALPHA yet has enough sensitivity in his soul to recognize the sensitive soul that is ME. He’ll be the type of MAN who does romantic gestures like profess his love for me in one of my fave places on earth , in his own handwriting in the sand..on the beach..any beautiful beach! I’m born under a water sign and I love all things near the water.

I figure my spirit will recognize him upon the very first sighting! Which is why I know though I’ve alot , alot!, of temptation in my path recently, alot!, that I’ve not yet laid eyes on him. Nor he upon me..He’ll love to hold hands and appreciate my need to touch to bond. He’ll enjoy and need that also.

I know in my heart of hearts love, real love!, is on the way..I’m ready, willing N able to give the same type of love that I crave . Its taken me a long time to realize, recognize my own worth..so nothing less will DO. Its time. Past time. The time is right. All good things come in time and this year I feel is MINE, finally.

We’ll do all things together and yet! also be free enough in our love to do our own thing individually..hope that makes as much sense to ya’ll as it makes to me. And the really even better gooood news?? Is when this happens I’m going to come running right back here and blog all about IT. Till then I’ll leave this topic alone for a bit and just continue to stay as busy as I’ve been. In the meantime? Love, love!, LOVE and love some more..love isn’t just for lovers. We can love GOD , ourselves, our parents, our children, our friends, our coworkers , even strangers…for we never know who is an angel sent straight into our path from GOD. Well folks thats my last promise to myself for the upcoming year. I’ve got a feeeeeling it is going to be a fabulous year. 2013! woooo hooooo Read ya’ll/write 4 ya’ll 2morrow. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**, Motivational!, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

+the REAL meaning of CHRISTmas

Disclaimer:  Any and all thoughts I ever write/say are  entirely based on “my” thoughts/feelings/beliefs..For the sake of this post I am NOT saying that having GOD back in schools would’ve stopped what happened recently in Newton from happening. I understand it could’ve happened anywhere..however what I do “feel” is that it couldn’t hurt matters overall. And I stand by that feeling/thought/belief…

As the days draw nearer to CHRISTmas my thoughts/emotions/feelings  rest  more N more on the meaning behind this season…I love this time of year! Have since I was a very little girl..funny  how even as we mature, age, evolve there are still core elements  about us that never change. That though is one of the many beautiful things about life.

WE find ourselves in a time N place in which one has to be careful in so many ways..How we dress; as to not incite unfavorable opinions of us. What we eat; so we don’t ruin our health. What we say from our lips AND how we say things to others. And even how we address people when wishing them  well wishes about this current season…Well, I’m old skool and will be until the day I leave this lifetime. Know what that means? It means for ME this season will always B as it should rightfully B…CHRISTmas. Why, has it become such a time in our history in which folks wish N choose to change SO many things? And now! think they can also change the VERY things in which created them..

God has been taken out of schools and YET folks wonder why the youth are doing CRAZY things. I can’t even begin to talk abut the recent “incident” yet that took the lives of 20 young children..But the person who made that come about was still very young.  It IS time to go back 2 the very things that brought us into existence in the first place. I , for one, am NOT going to NOT say Merry CHRISTmas. It is literally a crying shame one has to worry about wishing someone something GOOD. Now we have to worry about how to re-phrase or phrase even that..OMG. And yes, oh MY God. I am a believer. 24/7.. There was a time N  place, sure as I’m sitting here typing this, that I thought! I lived in world where everyone , at the least, believed in God. Or wanted to believe there was a God.  Yep, I was once that very young  and naive. 

“”But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.” I John 1:9..

Jesus was born so that one day the price would be paid for the things we have done that are wrong. God sacrificed his ONLY son for us! THAT is what the REAL meaning of CHRISTmas is. When I think about that; I mean when I reallly, really think about that@sacrificed his only son. I’ve got 3 sons. 3 beautiful, Black, smart, personable, intelligent sons that I’d literally do ANYthing for without a moments’ hesitation. Would I? Could I? I’d like to think I would; but would I sacrifice even having THREE sons for the good of all mankind? As I sit here now even re-pondering that for the upteenth time …truth is I don’t think so. Why? Because in my realm of think; my scope of thinking…I just can’t give any of my 3 sons up. To or for anything. Period. So even more so reason for me and all of US to be thankful that God did that for US. I think about stuff like that nowadays…there was a time I didn’t. I used to be one of those people out there running AROUND till the very, and I mean very! last minute buying and buying and trying to buy more gifts and gifts and gifts and gifts and gifts to give. And for what????? So that we could ALL be broke or worrried about being broke AFTERwards???  How does that even come remotely close to what the REAL meaning of CHRISTmas is? It simply does not. Not when I was doing it and not NOW….Bottom line IS we are loved children of GOD. He loved us SO much he sacrificed his ONLY son for us. No matter what is happening to us in our lives right here N now..no matter we may miss our sons who can’t be here..or any other loved one we wish we could spend this holiday with…WE know we’re loved children of God. WE are never alone and always, always loved unconditionally. Just knowing/feeeeeeeeling that should bring us inner JOY and PEACE N then we’ve got to share it with others.  I just attempted to do that with my words right here and now. I wish ya’ll a very, very, merry CHRISTmas. Stay uplifted , encouraged and BLESSED..and remember 2 count your blessings 2day and everyday…4ever sincere Berna(the one N only)

Posted in =Self Discovery=, FABulous 50 Bday anticipation.., Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

********50 is NOT the new anything..50 is just 50..Period. Exclamation point********

Any1 who knows/loves me knows I make the BIG 5*0 this coming July 4th..Yep, firecracker for sure out the gate. N though I’m not yet quite 50 yrs old I’m ready 2 talk about the anticipation of making IT. Almost there should qualify me as able to speak on it or least thats the way I see IT. Another 1 to stay tuned for N it will be well worth the wait..~Coming Soon but not soon enough..~Alright I’m back! N going to let the words/my vibe flow..

Listening to Quincy Jones Ultimate Collection & for younger folks reading this that translates to REAL MUSIC..Hope ya’ll go retro sometimes with your music selections 2 truly enjoy how gooood music used to be. But anywayz onto the topic at hand. I’m going to try to properly express why I (a) HATE when I hear the term@50 is the new 40s or even 30s(what the heck?) (b) why knocking on 50 yrs of age doesn’t suck.

WHY is it that people simply can’t enjoy the NOW?  As IF being in the “right here N now” is a bad thing! Oh, but how I’ve personally evolved(and am still evolving..) since my 20s. Lawd only knows! (as do my parents /loved ones/including 2 friends who have known me for 20 plus years) For I cried, literally, the entire day of my 29th birthday. As If somehow that was going to stop me from turning 30. I felt such a sense of loss leaving my 20s behind…and yet now? I wonder with awe how I could’ve been so terribly naive and afraid of aging. Now? I’m doing my very DA*Mdest to  age with grace…gently gliding into the next phase of my life journey. 50! An entire 5 decades older. Half a century…WOW. When I was in my teens 30 was OLD. When I was in my 20s 40 was OLD. Now that I’m on the very doorstep of 50..it just IS. Its not OLD. Its not over-the-hill either(hate that phrase too!) It simply just IS the next phase I’m moving onto. The things that I cherish now are the very same things I took for granted in my 20s..I’m more appreciative of simple things now. Like the mere fact BOTH of my parents are alive N well. I am STILL 2 this day learning from my parents(take note of that younger folks…) As independent-mode-minded as I went crashing out into the outside world from home at almost 20 yrs of age..I! never would’ve thought 1 day I’d stilllll be learning from my parents at dang near 50. Soaking UP their wisdom/experience like one would sopp  up gravy with a biscuit(don’t ya’ll do that?? I do…) I’m guessing 1 of the benefits of making it to 50 is learning that one NEVER stops learning. Once-upon-a-time I was naive enough(the audacity of being youthful/young!) to think I knew it ALL. Pfft. Still 2 this day I don’t know it all; and thank God(& my lucky stars) I finally came to that realization.

50 is NOT the new 30s or 40s. 50 is 50. Period. N yep, big ole exclamation mark. The beauty of making it to 50 is finally feeeeeling the freeeedom to say what I truly feel. Still try to say it with RESPECT(for thats part of my nature..) however, there was a time I was such a people-pleaser(still am in alot of ways) that I’d worry about how they’d feeeel if I said  what was really on my mind. NOT anymore. Now? If you don’t want 2 know my true opinion please do NOT ask me a question. An outstanding brother & lifetime friend of mine once taught me”Never ask a question that you don’t want the answer to” Hmmm lets think about that for a minute. WHY do people ask questions yet their hair is blown back when we answer HONESTLY? Don’t they really want to know  our thoughts when they ask us a question? Most times I’ve found folks really don’t…But thats their problem; not the person they ask the question of. Or least thats the way I see it now. Personally I’ve learned in my almost 50(yep FIFTY) years is I learn SO much when I ask questions N usually I ask them of people who can give me a sound/experienced answer. I’m thirsty for knowledge still at this age! Its almost as if I’ve reverted back to the primary years in the amount of “stuff” that I am soaking up. From every angle, direction, resource..including from other folks behavior/actions/words. IF there is anything “new” about turning 50 for me it is that .  In my 20s & 30s I thought I knew it all so I could’ve honestly cared less to seeeeek others out for knowledge. I felt I was getting that from books..(I’m a lifelong avid reader) How much I thought I knew and in reality knew so little..

Knowledge will make you free
Knowledge will make you free (Photo credit: tellatic)

Again, 50 is NOT the new 30s or 40s. 50 is 50. And inofitself that is a beautiful thing! Personally? As fit as I was in my 20s & 30s I feeeeeel better physically NOW then I have in my entire life. And thats a mouthful folks…I might not be able to climb tall mountains; but I dang sure feel like I can! I didn’t reach my peak like some people do in their 40s..I am there right NOW.  N I’ve not even reached the top of the wave yet..In surfer-dude terms I’m riding the waveeeeee. And I am attempting to DO all I said I was going to do waybackinmy20s. Finally! 2 be able 2 have finally arrived at that point, this phase, is for me “almost” too overwhelming to even try to describe in words. It IS that good 2 me. I could give some advice now to the younger folks reading this. I could try to explain what they’ve got to loooook forward 2 at 50 yrs of age. But honestly? I feel everyone’s experience is different. As different as we are as individuals so are our life experiences. And how we perceive our life experiences..I will say this. 2 anyone reading this but especially those generations behind me. ENJOY every moment of your life! Realize early on that every single, day! is a gift to YOU from GOD. Don’t take it for granted even though in our youth taking things for granted IS  what alot of us do…including me. Listen!/learn/respect your parents always…their  love/support will sustain you for LIFE. Remember as you become parents that parenthood is a LIFElong committment. It never ends…And take ALOT of pictures of your children when you bear children..for they’ll grow faster than you want them to. GET your education so that you’ll be armed to support yourself  and your dreams. Surround yourself always with people you admire/respect/have good morals/make sound judgements. Walk away from people who yearn to pull you down or away from your goals. Gain an early knowledge/regard/honor to the Father that created YOU. And sustain that relationship throughout your entire life. It is the ONE relationship in your life you can’t do without..N last but not least LOVE,LOVE,LOVE and LOVE hard and deeeeply! Starting with YOURself..for love is the true meaning/basis of what life on this earth is about. Or least that is my most sincere and heartfelt feelings on that matter..

Finally 50 is 50. Its a beginning of a different phase of life for me. A phase I’m very cognizant of N that I look 4ward to with the energy N joy of a small child on CHRISTmas morning! If there is anything new about turning 50 it is my new appreciation of every facet of life. I’m looking back alot less these dayz. Looking backwards will cause one to fall down N I’ve no intention of doing anything except standing firmly and moving ONward and UPward. I’ve yet 2 reach the max of my God given purpose. I’m far from finished..When I do reflect on the past 5 decades I reflect on the beautiful memories! The THREE beautiful, Black, young , gifted, intelligent, artistic, brothers I helped to create & co raise. My Black Princes for life…I reflect alot on their smiling childish faces, their 1st steps!, their 1st haircut, teaching them how 2 drive, studying with them till wee hours of the morning hours, watching them play an array of sports, attending PTA meetings for their success/joining school boards for their success/watching them play in bands/watching them accept honor roll awards yr after yr after yr/experiencing their mishaps WITH them/listening to their 1st love stories/driving them 2 their 1st college and having to leave them there..OMG that was tough for me../watching them with PRIDE graduate from high school and college after college after college..progress!..50 is 50 for a reason. To begin anew & fresh and leave the bad memories behind. Finally! To take all the lessons we learned from our mis-steps and realize God 4gives all mistakes and actually doesn’t call them mistakes. I think he calls them…LIFE. I can’t speak for anyone else that is 50 but for me I’m living my dreams N loving my life. Every single minute of it…I wish I could bottle this feeling UP and give it to others. I can’t. But I can share of me with my words…and I hope my words have made someone else’s day a little bit better . Stay UPlifted N blessed ya’ll. N remember 2 count your blessings 2day N everyday. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

MGS exclamation mark
MGS exclamation mark (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Posted in =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

@Writing IS..therapeutic 4 me as well@

Words
Words (Photo credit: sirwiseowl)

Ya’ll ever wonder what drives a writer to…write?  I can only speak for this aspiring life long writer. But first let me quote a couple people who are infamous for their thoughts on this topic. ” Writing is …a struggle against silence” Quote by Carlos Fuentes. ” And Oprah has a quote , that I can’t find the exact words to right now, but it goes something like this..’Be careful what words are uttered from your mouth or what you WRITE. For the 1st person to hear/see what you say/write is YOU; so don’t limit your ceiling by uttering/thinking  anything but positive things..” I tend to heed or try to learn from people that I admire/respect N Oprah certainly falls into that category for me. I wrote something yesterday that moved me to write this piece..What did I write? I wrote these very words while I was writing something very deeeeeep to someone I care deeply for. “Thank you for reading my vent; for when I write to you(or to anyone ) I’m speaking to myself  probably just as much as I’m talking to you” WOW ..Not sure about other writers but often more than not I’m shocked sometimes by  my OWN flow of thought as I let it flow from the pen or my finger-strokes. I honestly had never realized those very words until I’d..typed them. Mayhaps its because I type so very fast. (about 98 wpm) Mayhaps its because I’ve been writing SO long(since I was a young child) that I’ve forgotten the actual reasons that I..write. It is such a part of who I am and that I just do it; that I’d not stopped to think about the whys. It is simply something I love to do. Even more than talking! N those who know and love me know I loveeeeeeee 2 talk. Ever these dayz on a quest of fully knowing “self” I’ve pondered the above statement since making it. I realize  now that writing is  very N totally therapeutic for me. Especially as I write on topics that I’m pulling from my personal lifelong experiences…Often as I do that trying to encourage someone else or motivate them by sharing; I actually relive N feeeeeeel the emotions/feelings of the experience I’m explaining! Quite often I feel emotionally..spent after writing on those topics. I can’t explain it any other way. And yet more-often-than-not after I’ve written something that I know I’ve said “well” the feeling after writing it is close to ..euphoric. A type of  euphoria I’ve not yet in 49 yrs experienced the same type of  wonderful feeling from(different levels of joy I’ve experienced but not the same..) Thus is one of the main reasons I write. 2 -repeat-that-same-feeling-and-to-always-strive-to-reach-higher-N-higher-levels-of -that-euphoric-feeeeeeling. It feels that GOOD to me.  And as I’ve said before, but I’ll say it one more time, the need within me to touch others in a positive way from my written word is something I can not fight or resist. Took me many moons to come to the realization that my God given purpose was/is to “attempt” to “touch others in a positive ways via spoken N written words…by sharing my personal life experiences. I’ve come to believe N feel it is the primary reason I’m still standing. Intact physically  and with the majority of my marbles still up there. There is an inner child inside of all of us. And that inner child, the very core of who we are, remains consistent even though we evolve and mature. Or least this is my belief. My inner child needs to be stroked , alot! Needs to be told they’re appreciated. Needs to feeeeel loved. Needs to know what she does  is productive and useful. Needs to know she’ll never be alone or abandoned. She is me. N I am her..I am she. I’ve recently become her very, very best friend. I now try to “fulfill” her “needs” myself. Which is what I’ve come to believeeeee is  the way its supposed to be. It is called Self  Love..loving one self from the inside out. Makes one glow! I am finally there..and in doing so a person, in this case me, doesn’t look to others to fulfill those needs. Anything else gained from others in fulfilling those needs is..extra. A bonus! What I wish for other young girls/teen/women reading this is that you possibly learn from my “words” 2 do the same…for you. Why? Because it will mean that you won’t constantly reach out to others, and sometimes others that aren’t good for you, to fulfill those needs. Think about that for a minute for that is a heavy statement. Always when I write and share what I’ve written , AFTER I’ve written I wonder how it will be received. And yet once I release it from my possession. Once I push submit online I feel a sense of ..release. I hope these “words” of mine have touched you reading it in a positive way. I hope you can feel the sincerity in what I’m trying to express…Stay UPlifted N stay blessed. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 N only)

 

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

^YOU better RECOGNIZE, Acknowledge, N Give THANKS…

First & foremost sending out sincere wishes 2 my family/mi familia/coworkers/friends/extended family of friends a  beautiful, loving, relaxing, fun, &  BLESSED Thanksgiving! Woke UP as usual @ O’dark thirty(a Bernaism ..) feeling full of energy, excited, and eager to start the day..As I’ve stated before each N every day has become for me a totally new adventure..I feel like I’m a child on Christmas morning and leap! out the bed ready to run down the stairs to unwrap presents..Remember those days ya’ll? Blessed I am with an excellent memory I can still remember that FAR back…I feel compelled to share what I’m about to say for 2 reasons: 1. To give thanks to my God , again, in a public forum thereby adding to the sincerity of my gratitude 2. To hopefully encourage someone else to STOP for a moment and count their blessings as well.

The truly ironic thing about this is that just a mere 4  years ago..I’d not have stopped to count my blessings nor even recognized my blessings. Which in-of-itself means you can at this very moment begin to “change” so that you can also “see” your blessings N give thanks. What better day to begin than on this day of Thanksgiving? Anywayz fast forwarding to the message I’d like to share..a very BIG blessing that recently happened in my life. I tell ya’ll when God’s hand is IN a situation in our lives he does things in a BIG way. And it is my belief that we/one must acknowledge/give God his props/and be N act thankful. Period. Exclamation point. 

About 3.5 months ago I was BLESSED with a JOB that I not only love..but I’ll go as far as to say it is the BEST  career opportunity I’ve ever had. Hands down..and I’ve held/had some really good jobs ya’ll. But this one stands at the #1 spot. Many of ya’ll out there know people who actually LOVE what they do from 8 -5?? If a poll was taken right now how many would hold their hand UP? I’m not talking about just loving the salary/benefits. I’m not talking about just loving working in a beautiful environment. Nor am I talking about loving vibing with or working well with coworkers. What I’m talking about is LOVING every single aspect of  what one does as a means of self-support for 40 hours a week. What I honestly love the most about my job is knowing without a shred of doubt that what I “do” every day at work..is helping to improve clients lives in a positive/progressive manner. I never even knew how much that meant to me..until I was BLESSED ..with this position. And the ironic part about it all? I knew nothing of the position when I applied online. Nor did my church sister who mentioned to me I might want to check out the organization’s website for “possible” openings. So I did. And on the very same day I went online at approx 2 pm…the position was closing at 5 pm! Wowww. So anywayz I submitted my resume & filled out the online application. For a position I knew nothing about! Real talk folks…For an organization I “thought” I knew what it stood for(I’ve since learned it stands for FAR more than I knew prior) Fast forwarding…out of alot of applicants there was a final top 3. I was the runner UP out of the 3. Now I never aspire to be anything but number ONE..but this time it paid off for me being #2. For reasons unbeknownst(not a Bernasim but love being able to use this word!)  to me after being chosen. And after showing interest in being chosen. #1 choice all of a sudden poof! just didn’t come through. WOW. After I’d been told I didn’t have the position all of a sudden I was called and asked if I’d come in to begin the screening process. (which consisted of a full background check, full Lifescan & criminal history check,drug testing) Well my hair was blown back! I’d just licked my wounds over not being #1 and not being chosen…So of course I said I’d love to come in and do that! And I kid you not I almost ran from place to place over a span of 3 hrs to get it all done quickly as possible . And here I sit 3.5 months later in a position I didn’t think I had & a position that I wasn’t the #1 pick for..but that I now feel I was THE perfect choice for. Wowwww.

This is just one example of things happening in my life lately in which I’ve learned that..When something is for YOU it will happen. Regardless of how much it looks like it..won’t. It will! Now some out there might say it just happened to work out for me…But I don’t believe that! I believeeeee God’s hand was in it. Period. Exclamation point. And though its already been near 4 months I am STILL giving thanks N props to my God. I think that is important. Or least it is in my world these dayz..So on this Thanksgiving Day I want to say one ‘mo time. THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING ME WITH MY JOB! And also thank you for the other many blessings in my life now and for allll the times that I did not give you the glory. Because now that I “see” with clarity with my spirit instead of trusting only what my eyes see it has changed my entire walk. For now every day I feeeeeel like I’m walking on air. And yet I am still staying grounded…

If I may ask all of ya’ll to STOP for a moment today. Try to find a quiet place in the house. Close your eyes. Speak with your heart/spirit and call upon the Holy Spirit. Conjure UP thoughts of allll the loved one in your life, allll the friends who grace your life with gooooodness & positive words, alll the coworkers who help you to feel welcome and/or to do your job better, allll the people you encounter while handling business affairs or shopping that offer customer service(rare these days but it still exists..) , allll the strangers who give off such a good vibe when you meet them they become instant dear friends/confidants..Just take a moment 2 recognize, acknowledge that God brought them into your world and then..Give God the glory and the sincere THANK YOU that is deserved.

Again ya’ll have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family/friends..N remember to count your blessings 2day and every, single day. Sincerely, Berna(the 1 N only)

 

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**, ^Encouraging Words

~~Bruised *But*NOT*Broken~~

Good Monday Morn Church Family/Family/Mi Familia/Friends/Extended family of friends..I know I promised to not post anymore new topics till next week..and I won’t..after this one. On this beautiful morning IF you saw a Sista with a bright orange shirt and work out pants on brisk  fast walking pace  with bright purple earplugs in her ears N an Iphone clasped in her right hand singing loudly with joy as she walked down a very busy major street you should’ve waved N I’d have waved back! Anywayz this topic came to me as I was on my morning walk. AND I am going to go with the flow and let the vibe just flow..for I simply can not resist the itch to write N share N hopefully impact someone out there reading this that is presently..going thru a tough , dark time in their life journey…

It is probably evident by now as you read me..that I march to the beat of a different drummer. I readily admit and own that fact. Yet there was a time when I felt that being “different” was a very bad thing. I felt alone..like on an island. Tried to fit my “square ” Self..into social circles that were”round”. Afraid to speak my opinion for fear of being laughed at or worse totally IGnored. REjected. Now? I care less, honestly, what folks think about who I am, what I am, or where I have been. I am secure in the fact that its been revealed to me, over a lifetime, of not “seeing” signs/confirmations..what “my” God given purpose IS. And I am on a mission to fulfill it and reach the fullest level of it with every ounce of my being. I am SHE~ N ~ it  is personal…

For those that are reading this that are currently going thru a difficult , dark time N feel you are alone pleaseeee let me assure you ..you are never, ever alone! And I have been in your shoes. Let my past life experiences and my words be a testimony to convince you that you WILL get thru to the other side of how you feel at this very moment in time. Just hang ON. Try to be still N listen to the signs/confirmations that are before you. Sometimes the hardest things in life to “see”are the very things right before our eyes/ears. Know always you are a LOVED child of God N  if you call on him , pray!, he will bring you comfort to ride thru the wave of the “dark” times. For some of us this can take many, many moons..like me. But God sent me SO many angels in my life journey thus far that it became impossible for me NOT to see, recognize and give glory to where it was coming from…And when it hit me??? It hit me with such full force that it almost took my breath away. And now? I find myself testifying (which I NEVER thought I’d do!) N praying(OUT LOUD even which is a remarkable turn-about for me..) with words flowing from my lips that I didn’t even know I felt..until the words come out. Real talk.

As a passionate music lover(not much I do without listening to music..) these Joss Stone words from a song called Bruised but not Broken (I’ve lived thru these words also)  come to mind regarding this topic: “Gonna pick my heart UP/Take MY life back/Shake the hurt away/Pull mySELF 2gether, put the pieces back into place/I learned love’s so hard/Love left my SOUL scarred/I was shattered inside”…N after many years of living a life using my “own will” and not following God’s lead/will I finally, yep finally!, realize that as Jill Scott says it best how “Blessed” I am!

N last but not least these words come to mind as I try , with all my might, to further convince you that you’ll be alright ….These words from one of my fave artists on the planet@ Marvin Sapp. A song called , I never would’ve made IT:”I would have LOST my mind a long time ago/If it had not been for YOU/I AM STRONGER/I AM WISER/NOW I AM BETTER!/So much better/I made it thru MY storm & my test/Because YOU were there 2 carry me thru MY mess..

I say all of this to remind you to get to a point of “stillness & quiet” . Make a time every day to give yourself time to find that. God talks to us in quiet times. No boob tube on. No cell phone on. No music on. No incoming faxes. No other voices talking. One just has to be open N LISTEN. And usually that will mean doing things that one does NOT want to do! I speak this from my soul N my spirit. I have very much beeeeen there. Listening to HIM might mean at a ripe age moving back home after not having lived at home since one was 19 yrs of age; can you imagine that??? I stand here as a testament that doing things like that  can make one finally, yep finally!..bring one to feeling totally complete. Real talk…so never, ever give UP. Hang ON and you’ll get thru the troubled, dark and difficult times. Stay lifted, Stay encouraged N Stay blessed. Sincerely from the depths of my soul, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~To B Continued

IF 2day Were Judgement Day..

Wondering if anyone out there thinks about this day from time2time as I do…Reaching out to open dialogue on what I personally, as of  late, have grown to believe is an important topic. I wonder HOW to prepare for this day. I wonder IF the life I’m living on a day2day basis is one that will pass judgement on this day. What will I say?? Will I know what is the right thing to say? What IS the right thing to say? And how do I from THIS day forth live a life that I’ll feel confident will be worthy of speaking on when Judgement Day arrives? Deeeeeep thoughts indeed. Did not Jesus warn (Matthew 7: 21-23) that… “not” everyone who says to Me ‘Lord!, Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those that DO the will of my Father in Heaven will enter…Now I admit folks I don’t have alot of Bible verses memorized but this is one imprinted in my mind.  In the next couple days after a bit more thought; I’ll post what I feel my responses are to date on the above questions..Please feel free to post more questions/insight/responses. This is a topic I am eager to discuss with ya’ll