Posted in =Self Discovery=

REALITY Check Time*Yep, even at 50 I’m still learning*

Gotta preface this write by saying..ALL of us fall short of perfection..Top that with I’ve NEVER met a perfect person..And last but not least I personally feel some of the most-righteous-acting-people? In my experience they can be some of the most jacked UP folks of all…I know because I used to be one of them..Used to think I could successfully dot my Ts all the time & that my shiiiite didn’t stink..Until life experiences not only humbled me; but also I learned my most perfect attribute ? My IMperfections & that I’m so very, very human..Y’all ready for this? Diving in head first! >>

Ever say something to someone else & you realize YOU could do well to heed those very words? Recently I said something to a girlfriend and had a HUGE aha! moment..Plus I had a hot flash at the same time(danggg only negative part about my surgery!); which sort of further cemented the moment in my memory. In that very instant it became clear to me I was in need of a self-tune-up-type-of-reality-check..I used to be my own worst critic; helped me to self-motivate. These days instead I try to make sure I keep myself in check and on track..Worked too hard to get here to allow myself to lose focus, however, I am like I said before very human>>

Anyways as I was saying I was talking to a friend recently..I was beginning to say something to her & almost had to BITE my tongue off! What I was about to say was nothing NICE..It was harsh indeed. And? It was about her husband. Ugh! Mind you stopping myself mid-thought-mid-sentence is NO easy task..I can talk UP a storm! Jeeeeez however she means a great deal to me; so I some kind of way stopped myself..Then? I did something I’ve never ‘eva done before..I asked her to pretty please limit what she told me in the future about her husband. Why? Because I won’t be held responsible for what I might say in response..I don’t like him; point-blank! Bad thing? I’ve never met him. Ouch! I hate admitting that part; but its the truth. Yet? I can’t stand even thinking about sharing the same air with him..One might ask how can I not like someone I don’t know??!? Simply said my thoughts/mind has been polluted after ALL of the awful, ugly things I’ve heard about him. From his own wife..And? She IS one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Real talk for real. Am I wrong for pre-judging someone? Yep! absolutely…Nonetheless that doesn’t change how I feel about him. It does , however, cause me to pause and realize OMG that is SO UNchristian of me@pre-judging. Again, for the record let me state as I pre-stated I am so very, very human>>

Goooood grief! The list of rules, regulations, thou-shalt nots, thou-shalt can’ts IS getting longer by the day..Or? Am I just more cognizant since my Confirmation? Hmmmm But I totally didn’t like the idea I was pre-judging someone I didn’t know. Even though I trust the words of my girlfriend; I don’t like being pre-judged myself. So why am I doing it to someone else? It is after all something I’ve tried so hard never to do..Been burned earlier this very year; by not pre-judging someone based on words of a reliable source. Nevertheless judging others is something I don’t care to partake in. As a result? I find myself propelled into a self-reality check fest>>

Found myself telling someone to hush in church this morning..The yapping was messing UP my vibe from the excellent homily and the Gospel flow from our singing..Then? Bam! Hit me, figuratively speaking, square in the forehead..I’ve yapped in church before, OMG, whose vibe did I screw with at those times? Does it mean one can’t correct others when they’ve been guilty of same in the near-past? Pfft! If that was the case as parents we could never correct our offspring..I think what it means is that I, like other folks, am so very, very HUMAN. Honestly? I don’t want it to be any other way..This learning from experience stuff is getting more FUN the older I get. I think the most wonderful part is now I catch MYself mid-stroke..And I’m still learning>>

The learnings of reality checking? For me? Invaluable & priceless..When I take the time to do it forces me to reflect on reality vs. My Reality..Many folks don’t realize those two things can differ at times..Often times we “think” we’re behaving in a certain manner & yet others perceive us acting otherwise. OR one can find themselves, as I recently did, partaking in something they/I don’t care to partake in. Like judging folks..How often I’ve heard folks say they don’t like this or that celebrity. Wth? Never even met that person..And yet I did the very same thing with my friends husband..Yep, shit happens when you’re human and I suppose even when you’re not honest about it! The good news? Every day brings promise of fresh starts in every possible way..Translation? It is never too late to do a quick reality check to get back on track. That is a wrap for now folks..So until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever Sincere, Berna(the 1 & Only)

Posted in "Just for fun"

BEST MOMENT AWARD ~N~ My 7 Nominees>>

..~~Some of the BEST moments in life are the ones you cannot tell anyone about…~~

I was nominated for the BEST MOMENT award..Woooo hoooo..As a new blogger its awesome to be read & appreciated by fellow bloggers..My list of over 130 blog spots on WordPress is an amazing list..Chocked full of people I’d never met before I joined WordPress almost a year ago..(with the exception of the person who introduced me to WordPress..) It is with pride I’ll display my BEST MOMENT award logo on my page & sincere thanks to ‘mishunderstood’ for the nomination.Also many thanks for making me feel so VERY special when I recently joined the Fabulous 50s group! I’ll first list my nominees & then the rules of this award(I changed the 15 nominees to 7..Choosing 7 was tough! But 7 is after all a lucky number..) Well actually first check out the link to ‘mishunderstood’s’ blog spot; she always has something positive to read or look at(pictures) on her blog. http://mishunderstood.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/best-moments/

My first nominee is one of the very first blog spots I became hooked ON..He uses humor , wit, and a ton of intelligence to share insightful/POLITICAL, and current events from our country to all over the world..He keeps us abreast of important matters; while also making us smile..Even when it’s not good NEWS. The one & ONLY , List of X.

http://listofx.com/

This next nominee is tied for my #1 fave WordPress blog..He IS always in touch with anything there is to know or read about affairs in D.C..and all political matters of great concern. He researches and lays the FACTS out and always has interesting comments from his loyal audience..He also shares my loyalty in following & supporting our POTUS@ President Barack Obama..And the pictures on his blog site are always a pleasure to see..He’s a true OBAMACRAT through & through! He’s included ALOT of facts/stories about Black History that I personally feel every American could benefit from reading..

Home

When I want my spiritual fix on WordPress this is my go-to spot! She’s my Sista & my church sister; and she’s the one who introduced me to WordPress..Relentless, hard-working, and the QUEEN of multi-tasking..*round of applause* and Yay!

http://spctampablog.wordpress.com/

I stumbled across this next blog site because it was Freshly Pressed months ago..A story about her beautiful daughter’s smile! There is always something joyful, beautiful , insightful to read on her blog spot..Hails from Africa and she has a heart of GOLD. So very glad I can call her ‘friend’..

http://uwana.wordpress.com/

Her name says it ALL..She IS an AWAKE Black Woman..A TON of insight on her blog spot! I’ve yet to read all of it, yet, when I’m reading there I almost always learn something NEW..She’s also included many, many links on her page to other blog sites that are positive & cultural.

http://awakeblackwoman.wordpress.com/

This next blog spot spreads a positive message..I always have a warm & fuzzy feeling after reading and sharing comments on his page..

http://messageinabottleblog.wordpress.com/

This blog spot is one of the most recent I’ve added to my faves list..I’ve enjoyed interacting with her on both of our spots..Yet another blog spot that I get that nice warm & fuzzy feeling after reading there.

http://2012spiritinaction.wordpress.com/

** The rules are as follows for all nominees; including myself(I’ll list my two lists of 7 following the rules) Nominees should do the following(if you wish)=
1. Copy and post the BEST MOMENTS logo on your blog page. (You’ll see mine freshly posted in my side bar)

2. Link back to the person who nominated you…

3. State 7 things about yourself…

4. Nominate 7 other bloggers

5. Name 7 moments you experienced that are dear to your heart..

*** Here are my 2 lists**

7 Things About Myself=

1. I’m a TRUE Cancer in almost every sense of the word..With the exception of the moody part..Thankfully I grew out of that as I grew older/matured/evolved..Born under a water sign I absolutely LOVE the water! Imaginative/intuitive/loyal/loving/nurturing/emotional/& protective are some of the positive traits of a Cancer..

2. My favorite saying that I try hard to live by? LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH.

3. Not many people I’ve met and/or friended in my entire lifetime; that I’m not still good friends with. Including both of my X’s & my X inlaws..My Xmominlaw still calls me daughter & even cross-country we speak often. I treat people as I want to be treated. What you see is what you get..IF I don’t care for ‘ya? I won’t spend time around you. There aren’t many people I can’t find at least one nice thing to say about them..

4. I am an admitted NEAT freak! I can’t think clearly in cluttered or dirty environments…

5. I absolutely LOVE talking to people! Not too many places I go(even the library..though I try to whisper) that someone doesn’t speak to me. This I feel has allowed me to meet people of ALL backgrounds/cultures/genders..love IT

6. I hated liver as a child. I STILL hate it as an adult. Exclamation mark. Period.

7. If I break bread with a person it means I consider them a friend..Meal times were always special times when I was growing up. And for me? It still is.

7 Moments I Hold Dear in my Heart=

1. The moment I held each of my 3 sons in my arms moments after they were born..NOTHING in my life tops that.

2. The first time my Daddy told me he was proud of ME.

3. The moment I realized as a young woman; that my Momma was always going to be my best friend.

4. The moment my now ex husband told me he couldn’t see his life without me in it..And is one of the reasons we’re still good friends till this day. (even cross-country)

5. The moments I watched my sons graduate from high school/graduate school/and soon we’ll watch our first family PhD graduate. It’s so very nice to be a part of such progression..

6. Being able to help host a 50th wedding anniversary dinner/party for my parents last year…Their LOVE has been an amazing thing to see/watch all of my life

7. When I stood on a California spoken word stage at 45 yrs old with knees & nerves shaking to perform a tribute I’d written to Black Women…Some of the beautiful moments in life are the ones we think we don’t have the nerve to DO; but we do it anyway!

**BONUS BEST MOMENT** Don’t want to mess up the lucky 7 roll, BUT , I’ve got to add this..When my best friend of 30yrs plus stood in front of all at my 50th Bday bash this past July & recited a poem she’d written in honor of our friendship. I didn’t even know she wrote poetry..Amazing after 30 yrs can still learn new things about those in our lives..Truly a moment to be cherished I won’t ever, ever 4get..Mad love & regard Lizzard!!!

Posted in =Self Discovery=

HAPPINESS is a Direction..NOT a Place>>

I struggled to think of a happy topic to leave as my last blog prior to surgery..And then it hit me! I’ll blog on a topic I’ve come to LOVE. The pursuit of happiness..>>

**Happiness is a direction, not a place** Quote by Sydney J Harris

It is my belief that happiness IS relative..I believe it is based on what OUR expectation of happiness IS..Have you thought about what your definition of happiness IS? And IF not; how can you reach a state of being that you’ve not yet defined? Hmmmm..Well I’ve thought about what my utopic state would be in all aspects. I don’t base my happiness on other folks “appearance” of being happy either..I do NOT believe that money buys happiness nor does beauty..Lets take Halle Berry for example. Voted without a doubt as one of the world’s most beautiful women. And to boot she is rich…Yet, based on some of her actions/behavior not for ALL the tea in China would I trade shoes with Halle. Lest anyone forget she had a hit & run incident in which she left a person maimed! When she showed UP in court with a band-aid on her face, and the victim bandaged from head-to-toe in a wheelchair, I didn’t see view that as a person who was HAPPY. Not as defined by my happy meter. And IF they’d tested her alcohol level that night??? I’m sure that her day in court would’ve ended totally different..For the record? I think Halle is a beautiful woman. (even sans make-up she is beautiful) But in addition I’d like to add EVEN Halle can’t pull off wearing this outfit..Pregnant or not, beautiful or not; this is ONE ugly arse outfit!!! Gets a zero on my happy meter>>

Now there are some that would have us believe that HAPPINESS is a constant state of mind..I firmly believe that is a load of poppycock! Who on this earth is happy ALL the time? I’d like to see what that type of person looks like..So IF you’re out there please hold your hand UP; and post a picture. Please..I’ve lived a long time. 50 years and counting..Thank God for that every single day..Anyways I digress..Long as I’ve lived even the happiest folks I know ; have days they’re in a FUNK. I have come to feel it is a normal part of life..The trick IS snapping ourselves out of those funk-mood-type-of-moments/days. And guess what? WE have the power to do just that. I know because I do it. And IF I can do it, anyone can. It works if you work IT..Works the opposite way as well though..We can downspiral with our thoughts/moods in the same fashion. But when one learns themselves(which I feel is the key…) can change the motion of those negative thoughts when they begin. Some of us have things that can trigger those negative thoughts & by all costs WE must nip them in the bud..I’m an expert on such things for I’ve lived it; and learned to combat it. Happiness IS a direction & that direction can be a constant forward motion>>

Riddle me this..How can any of us truly know what happiness feels like; If we’ve not lived through the opposite feeling? Known as sad moments/events/experiences…Also known as rainy days. Many who truly know me know I simply HATE rainy days! I honestly do..Having lived on the Right Coast(Cali..West Coast still RULES..) for the better part of 20 yrs I’ve not seen a lot of rain. However , I did live through some really rainy blue down days there..On the flip side of that? In my new home on the Left Coast(Ahhh but I’m growing to love it here too..) I’ve seen a TON of rain outside..Yet, because of the frame of mind I’m in now? Even walking outside on the darkest of rainy days; I’m full of laughter/smiles/and JOY..Sometimes one can dance in the rain even when they HATE the rain..It is a force-learned habit..I just refuse to let the unhappy moments take over my life ever again. And IF I can do it; anyone can>>

When is the last time you thought about what it would take for you to BE happy? What is your utopia? And what are YOU doing to make it come about? Did you know that being happy IS a choice we can make? >>

I think most of us FIGHT to be happy..IN a world full of negative images/sound clips/boob tube flicks/unheavenly things going on from America to kingdom come; we’ve NO choice but to sink or swim..We can choose to sink down into the muck & mire OR fight/claw our way on and UPward to happiness. I feel happiness though differs for all of us. Some of us might be happy as a kid in a candy store living in an 800 square foot cute Lil apartment! While others might require a 5,000 square foot house for them to be happy..But I once met folks living on skid row in Los Angeles that were full of laughter & joy & SMILES. I’d not have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes..It was a field trip my exMominLaw took me on that I’ll never forget. Taught me, humbled me!, that being happy doesn’t cost a dime. God gives us a chance at happiness every time he wakes us UP. Or so its my belief..My happiness is driven by simple things.* Being a LOVED child of God. LOVE in my life. Security. Peace in my home/Within my family/On my job. LOVE of my career. Strong Personal Relationships with my family & my extended family of friends. LOVE in my life that surrounds me & comforts me. & Peace of mind * Any/Everything else in my life is extra. Took me a long time to realize that. And I am happy. At long last..Well y’all that’s a wrap until post-surgery. I can say I’ll miss YOU all! Miss me while I’m away…Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted & BLESSED. 4ever Sincere, Berna(the 1 & Only)

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Don’t 4get to show me some LOVE while I’m away!!! I won’t feel like writing but trust & believe I’ll be reading

Posted in FABulous 50 Bday anticipation..

the CountDown Begins..Farewell to my 40s

..When I woke UP this morning the 1st thought I had was..These are the last days I’ll be 40ish..I’m eager and oh so ready to experience my 50s. NEVER in this life journey did I, of all people, think I’d be capable of embracing my 50s. My story continues; and yep, we all have a story. A story behind all of our lives that makes us who we ARE. As I say good bye to my 40s? I realize how much GROWTH transpired over those 10 remarkable years. WOW, wow, and omg wow. Time really does fly when one is caught UP; living/learning/stumbling/leaping hurdles/crawling under stuff!/and making a way when NO ONE else saw a way around things..The past 2 years? Its moved at warp speed! Good thing after awesome happening upon mind-blowing positive miraculous experiences for me! Whoa, I’ve had to hold on to the imaginative handrail so I didn’t fall or slip..Its good. Life is so good when one opens their eyes & their heart and hands things/all things over to; God. There is no other way to express it. There is no logical explanation. But that is my reality. I stand. I stand. I stand. So the countdown begins to the day I make 50 years of age. I’m thankful , so thankful, for all I’ve lived/loved! so much loveeeee/learned/seen/heard; and last but not least I thank God for allowing me to give life to the most amazing sons a Mother could have. God gifted me with 3 awesome MEN who will love me forever..IF there is but one piece of unsolicited advice I can offer to young married women out there? Try hard to co-raise the same type of MEN you’d be proud to marry. Real talk for real..I could go on & on & on about that topic; but I won’t . Anyways farewell 40s! Goooood bye 40s . Waving bye bye to my forties..Feeling unexpected emotions! Until I read/write y’all again many thanks for reading me this past-not-even-a-year-yet-that-I’ve-been-blogging. I thank YOU and YOU for all that you’ve shared , WOW..y’all have made my blogging experience here on W.P. just beautiful. Very. Thank you sincerely. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

goodbye

goodbye

Posted in FABulous 50 Bday anticipation..

Are We Supposed to Know it ALL at this Age?

..I made a comment recently and I’m standing by it..50 is rushing up on me; and I’m in much anticipation for it. I’m ready! Aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be? What are my options if I’m not? …Well by now I’m sure y’all are ready to hear the actual comment I made! It for sure pushed the person’s buttons I was speaking to at the time; however, having said that..IF a person can’t say whats REALLY on their mind at almost 50 yrs of age(such as myself..) when in the heck IS the time to be able to keeeeeep it real?!? The way I see IT there is no time like the present..Hope y’all are ready for some real talk. This is for grown folks ONLY>>

…1st this BROADcast(yep, that’s a play on words that only those 50 & over will catch..) For allll those people who scared the beeeeejesus out of me about making 50..By telling me that one’s body starts literally falling apart with ailments/issues/organ’s failing/and caving in to gravity..Unless the day AFTER I make 50 yrs of age(July 5th..) this happens instantly; y’all lied. Lol, lol! It takes ALOT of consistent work, every single day(and I mean every day) but by the grace of a mighty good God; I’m SO thankful I don’t look like the stuff I’ve lived through at this ripe age. I’ve said it often; and I’ll say it one ‘mo time..Thank YOU God for blessing me. Now if the day after I make 50 yrs of age stuff starts dropping/sagging/and an organ fails; I’ll have to retract this comment. And I’m building up the cajones(figure of speech! cause I am all woman..) to post a picture of me here on WordPress; in my Bday dress after my Bday party. After all seeing is believing for some folks..Enough said & back to the topic at hand>>

....So last week I was having a conversation with someone I hardly knew & had just met..I talked to alot, and I mean ALOT, of people while I was in Phoenix last week..Anyways , somehow or other, we got on the topic of making 50 yrs of age..And for some reason or other; he says ” Well, I have a friend who does NOT know yet HIS purpose or direction, and he’s 50 yrs old already..” I stood there looking at him waiting for the and..And?!? There wasn’t an , and, folks that was IT..I’m not too sure I’m proud of what flew out of my mouth next. BUT , this is what I said(before I could censor it/sugar coat it..>>

In a very steady voice & with a straight face I said, ” WOW, well I feeeeel a person should know where they’re headed/what they’re doing/what their purpose IS/should be progressively moving forward by 50! I mean jeez 50 years old is a longgggg time to be LOST or clue less..” After I said that? He got that wide-eyed look of ” Did SHE just say that?” And he didn’t get time to counter the comment because class went back into session..Later I felt mayhaps that was a harsh comment. Ever make a comment & then later wonder IF you should’ve made it? But it got me to thinking..Isn’t 50 the age one should know it ALL? Or least know enough/have learned enough..IF not 50 yrs old exactly how OLD must one be to know enough to have a PHD in..Life? Does one ever get to that point in life? Or is this life journey just one long process of continual learning? 50 yrs of learning & living! qualifies a person as knowing ALOT, right?>>

the TRUTH is , or rather the truth as I know it, as a person on the doorstep of making 50 yrs old..I do NOT know it all. And honestly? It was a harsh comment..but in my heart of hearts I honestly feel a person should know what direction they’re headed or be in IT. As luck would have it(and I thank God & my lucky stars..) a couple of years before I was this close to 50 yrs old..It became to vividly CLEAR to me what my God-given path was; that I would’ve had to be blind not to have seen it. I could see it clear as day..It took following blind faith to get nearer to it though. And truth be told; I’m not all the way there yet. But I’m a heck-of-alot-closer than I’ve ever been to getting; there. My direction has been on fast-forward motion since then. Very fast..So fast its at times been over-whelming. And all positive..Having said that would I still stand by my comment; IF this wasn’t the case? Probably so..If it wasn’t the case I’d have felt I wasn’t where I was supposed to be by 50 yrs of age. Which leads me back to my first question. Aren’t we supposed to know it ALL by 50 yrs old? Or least enough to account for having lived 50 yrs?!? When I sat down & did some real soul-searching on the matter..AFTER, I’d spoken without thinking to the aforementioned person..Honestly? I don’t feel there is a SET amount of what we should know by 50 yrs of age. I think we know what we know due to the experiences of what we’ve lived through to this point..Some just know more than others. I think life is an ever-changing and evolving event..Like a very BIG stage. We’re all the actors. Our part isn’t determined by US..Its pre-determined. Our free will affords us the opportunity to get to the finish line; at different time periods. IF I could have a do-over of the earlier conversation I mentioned; that’s the response I wish I’d said. Unfortunately in this life journey we don’t always get do-overs though..Living IN the moment is something I attempt to do every, single day..I can only hope the person I said that to reads this & accepts my final & well – thought out answer. What I’ve learned at 50 yrs of age is …WE never stop learning. WE will never know it ALL. And I think learning that is one of the beautiful things about making it to 50 years of age! Now..I tell you one thing about 50 I’m still not used to ; yet. It’s as if overnight I changed from a Miss to a Ma’am. Lawd! When did that happen?? Lol, lolll Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere Berna (the 1 N only) P.S. I might also post a picture of my birthday cake after my party…I want ALL 50 candles on my cake..I don’t care IF it looks like a bonfire! I EARNED every one of those years..Truth be told my Mama probably won’t allow it. Lol, lol! I can just see her face if I even request 50 candles. The look on her face of “Do YOU want to burn the place down?”

Posted in Motivational!, ^Encouraging Words

***SMILE !!!..An UNsolicited bit of Advice …A Lesson Learned the Hard Way

Smile, Smile!, SMILE, and smile some more…Did y’all know that simply SMILING can make ONE feel better? Not just the people who see you smile; but also can make YOU feel better. Instantly…a smile , and WE, have that power to touch many; including ourselves! Wow, WOW, and yep, wow one ‘mo time.

Once had an Uncle who shared something with me that I didn’t, until, recent years truly appreciate. What did he say? He said at his workplace no one knew when he was feeling down & out…At the time he was truly going through it! too..Had a wife who “he’d” recently discovered was medicated for bi-polar condition. WHICH she’d not confided in him prior to marriage. Can you imagine?? Anyways, she at the time had STOPPED taking her meds. Just BAM; decided she no longer liked how the medication made her feeeeel. The consequences? She was having and acting out with violence. And they had 2 children! Now IF there was ever a time to go to work wearing a frown? That was IT! Yet my Uncle said he never did..Ever. As a supervisor of many at the time; he felt frowns could spread just as smiles do. And all these years later? I believe , in my heart of hearts, that is so true. >>

To top that story my exMominlaw(who I love dearly..) once told me that a smile can touch people almost as much as physically touching them with warmth. She said & felt! that smiles could heal a hurt or broken person. One day she took me on a ride down skid row in L.A..Basically so I could “see” how much I had & not to complain about anything. A valuable lesson! (by the way this didn’t truly impact me till years later..) When we left, after stopping in the car to talk to about a cazillion people there, she turned and asked me. “See how faces lit UP when I smiled at them? Faces of people whose homes were a cardboard box..But for a brief moment they smiled!!” WOW, wow!, and wowwwww Yes, I saw that happen with my very own eyes. Seeing really is believing sometimes..>>

Personally, at this phase of my life I’ve got a “glow” within that REFUSES to not flow outwards…Most days? I smile so much , and laugh/laughlaugh!, till my cheeks hurt at the end of the day. I kid you not. A coworker said that to me recently. Lol, lolll She said does your face ever hurt from how much you laugh during the day??? I said “You know what???” It does! But it hurts soooooo goooood. So on this day I woke UP wanting to share this message with y’all. Wouldn’t it make YOU feel wonderful to know you could impact someone TODAY in a positive way? Doesn’t cost a dime either. I’m of the belief that some of the best things in life are still FREE. So remember to smile, SMILE, and then smile one ‘mo time. Headed to get my praise ON. I hope each person who reads this has a beautiful day chocked full of SMILES, laughter and LOVE. Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted and blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 N only)

FOOTNOTE= This will mark the 1st time ever I’ve added to a post once I first penned it. But this is something I can’t resist sharing with y’all. Imagine sitting in Mass(church) 2 hours AFTER penning this piece; and hearing the EXACT same message almost verbatim as part of the Homily(sermon)? When the word SMILE was used the first time in context JUST as I’d used it this morning; I almost literally fell out of my seat. What are the ODDS that the sermon would use the same message about smiling? And IN the same context?!? Some out there reading this might consider it just coincidence…But for the ‘Believers’ out there reading this? When you Believe IN something you can’t see, feel or touch; coincidence isn’t in ones’ vocabulary much at all. What I KNOW for a fact without a shred of doubt? Every facet , and I mean every, of my Life at this phase is being drenched by the Holy Spirit. It scared me today for the 1st time! So much so I had to consult in private with one of my Spiritual advisors to admit that..I think that makes me human.

Posted in Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic

My Quote of the 1/2 Century^^^

***Life is full of Poetic Verse***I am fine. I will B fine. I am living my life out LOUD..in Color. Yesterday, I had one of those days & experienced but a mere “moment” in a space of a long, long! beautiful  life..I’m just about 1/2 a century NEW. My life, inofitself has been what all of our lives are..yet some of us fail to realize..it IS a miracle , indeed! what we live through, climb over, run around, and Leap OVER while experiencing this thing called Life. Filled with moments bittersweet but also overflowing with so, so , so many moments of utter JOY..that it can set us on a momentum that forward propels us hurdling(for lack of a better word) with baited breath & excitement! into each brand new day. I move , alot, in a very brisk , electric filled pace; trying with all my might to squeeze the UTmost out of each moment , each experience, each! day..But sometimes I also STOP to literally smell the roses; for none of us know(honestly) when we or IF we’ll re-experience any of what we embark on daily. When I decided to blog & share my real-true-life “happenings” out in front of the world; I promised myself I’d do it with an open nature so that I might leave my journey behind to mark a life journey. My life journey..for my 3 beautiful Black princes , for my grandchildren whenever they come to B, for anyone out there who just might gain something positive from what I’ve lived. What is this life really ABOUT if we don’t in the process of living..touch many? It is my sincere desire to let ALL of the love in my heart overflow , always, releasing what I call Liquid Love..Words can touch many. Words are powerful. Words can heal. Words can help one get through ‘Ish..And 2nd to actions; words can express Love in remarkable ways. I’ve been humbled beyond the realm I thought possible; by my WordPress experience..its given me confirmation of what, I think, I already knew. People represent Love..and when they reach out 2 others, from across countries no less, it brings to my full realization why I’m such a people-loving social butterfly. For the many that reached out to me last night? YOU wow’ed me/Blew my hair back/Rode through “it” with me/Showed a stranger love, love , love..Those that have known me a lifetime know I’m a fighter..Never hit a person with my hands out of anger, yet!, I’ve fought my entire Life to get TO my God given potential..Its when things have “seemed” the darkest to me; that have motivated me to “see” light..Like in a dark room & one strains their eyes to make out the shadows in the darkness while slowly proceeding forward(because stubbing a toe! hurts like heck) I say all of this to say@ I am fine. I will B  fine always; even when I think I’m not! Like my yesterday..I am living my Life out LOUD..in Color. I am rich when it comes to Love in my Life..I am Blessed. God hears my Prayers & HE hears YOUR prayers. This is a brand new day & WE woke up this morning..And that inofitself is a Blessing and cause to celebrate. I’ll be back tonight on my usual word grind & my kool-aid smile! Until then stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in =Self Discovery=, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

*The Long Way Home..*

longestwayhomeBased on the true story(& learned lessons)   which is my Life..>>What those that know me personally, that also read my blog(hugs,hugs! , & more hugs) are privy to is that at almost 50 yrs of age; I moved cross country to my parents home. I no longer live there though & have nothing but fond, loving memories from the life-altering experience.  What that same group of people knows is that …very shortly I’ll be drafting my very first book. A book I’ve planned on writing for the past-longer-than-I-care-to-mention-number-of-years..Haven’t yet dreamt of the title; it won’t actually be titled, The Long Way Home…and its foundation though based on life(specifically mine..) will be to serve as a guide for other young girls/women out there on their Life Journey..Not a self-help book; but a self-DO book. But anyways I digress for I was driving home yesterday & I got lost..Which led me to the idea of this post. For you see I’ve gotten quite used! to getting lost(with a GPS that I seem to keep on off mode) ; and I think its been the BEST way for me to never forget my way to wherever the heck I was headed in the first place..Heck of a run-on but I can’t break that line of thought UP..In short while some folks feel getting lost OR being lost is a bad thing; for me? It has brought me to where I needed to be; every single time. That might not make sense to y’all ; but it makes perfect sense to me..Question. Do you know what your center IS? Took  me almost 50 yrs but I know, and part of me always knew, what mine was/IS..Lets see if I can dig a little deeper & explain..>

^Your “Center”= I’m going to borrow this definition from Wiki..its FAR better than even I can write out. Afterwards I’ll move forward with this post; just want to first make sure y’all are up-to-speed .

**Within each person, there is a “center” where “you”, the essence of who you are and consider yourself to be, is located. It is not a physical place, rather it is where the certainty of your confidence is. When you are distressed, it is good to contemplate this “essence place” in order to reconnect with the calm certainty that is your self.

So “finding your center” means to understand within yourself that the distressing circumstance will pass, you will learn from it, and you will remain yourself. This is important when events make you crazy. When your world falls apart, the “center” of you reassures you that the event will pass, but you are still the same person you have always been.

In religion, this “center” is where you and your God connect. In some religions, this center can be called the soul..it is the “connecting place” between this physical plane and the Eternal. It is a place of calm, a place within you that can give great strength and resolve when you take the time to “return to your roots.” It is the place of refreshing and renewal.

So if you are in emotional distress, “find your center” reminds you that you are stronger than you realize and that you need to reconnect with your God and your essential being.** Moving right along…>>

What I’ve learned is the more in tune with Self I get..the less I give a dang!(and I mean that in the most respectful way..) of what other folks think about what I do/what I say/how I act. Who are they to say what it takes for ME to live UP to my God given potential? To be all the me I can? Its my belief when we let other folks “define” who we are; we become who they! want us to be..Think about that for a minute & let it sink in. I’ll take this line of thought one step further @ When I fully realized what my “center” was/is; the less insecure I became. And? I didn’t fully come to this realization until I came full circle and  went home almost 2 years ago.. I was lost (figuratively) until I found myself and my way home…>>

So, as I was saying when I first began this post..I got lost yesterday driving home. Returning from a bruncheon at adored friends house ..and! the funny thing is I’d just, and I mean just told them, oh nooo need to worry about me I know exactly how to get home. Plus, I told them I’ve got my GPS so if all else fails I’ll finally use it..I didn’t want them to worry. Anyways, I went skipping out to my car & bam! almost immediately took the wrong route. Went North on the freeway(they call them highways here; but I refuse! to give up all my Cali terms or way of life..) instead of South. And OMG I had to go for what seemed like forever for a turn-around spot..I’d known I was lost & headed the wrong way about 10,000 miles( exaggeration but it sure seemed like that far..)  before I could double back to go the right way..What heck kind of State doesn’t make a turn -around spot sooner than..as far as I’d driven? *slapping forehead* Yep, I’m still getting used to living outside of Cali..As I was driving along admiring all the green , lush(now thats ONE thing this place has over Southern dry brown Cali..) I realized how many times I’d gotten lost since moving here. Then my mind began to wander how many times I’d been lost , period, in my life journey…Times I just felt like-IF-this-or-that-I’d-be-a-little -bit-happier …times that I either still wanted something smaller or bigger..times I wanted either more or less of whatever…times I wanted my loved ones who love me dearly to love me a little bit; deeper..times , when all the world looking IN figured I was totally happy, that I just felt I neeeeeeded something “else” to be totally happy..Yet, I didn’t know quite what was missing. As my eldest son shared with me about 3  years ago; I needed to find my “center”. At the time? I didn’t even know what the heck that meant..>>

Ever feel like something is missing from your life? Feel like a gerbil running around & around & around a wheel; on a daytoday grind of routineness? Wonder what the purpose of life is? I read on a W.P. blog the other day someone said ” Contrary to what religious folks think! ; there is no purposeful meaning to our existence or life. ” WOW , reading this now blows my hair back. Why? Because there is nothing further from the truth..How sad for anyone to feel like that. Wouldn’t their life then be as boring as that gerbil running circular laps around his wheel? Until I found my way home that is how I felt..alot. My oasis in the middle of that jacked UP barren desert? My 3 beautiful Black princes. Not only did they add meaning to my life; without them life just wouldn’t be the same. True blessings from God..Also my beloved & loving parents. When God handed out parents; he gave me the BEST. My right-hand man & co-parenting partner. Actually divorced but I swear we get along better than some of the married folks I hear about..and the list goes on & on..I’ll save some keystrokes by saying my center IS..My family/Mi familia/My extended family of friends. Its them that I think of & smile! on days that I just feel I need a bright light to look forward to or I’ll explode. They are my center. Loving them & being loved by them ..and knowing that their love IS unconditional(that I never , ever have to doubt it..) keeps me grounded. Feeling loved IS the number 1 best feeling on this planet. For me. And yep, it even outranks the feeling of an orgasm. Barely..but still outranks it…>>

These days? I feel alot like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz..Everything seems SO new. Experiences. Projects. Friendships..For I look at things in a totally different manner. I believe its called , Appreciation. I no longer take things for granted. Not only that I’m quite verbal about letting the folks that I appreciate them; aware that I appreciate them. For far too many years I ASSumed folks knew how much I loved, adored, appreciated & even needed them in my life..and while actions speak volumes telling someone these things doesn’t hurt either. I feel a neeeed to express myself these days. In every/any form possible. I say all of this to say this. I am home. Not literally anymore because I’m in my own place now once again. Yep, I’m all grown UP now again. Lol, lol! But I am at home within myself. At long last & finally. And if its taking U a long way to get home? Don’t lose hope for you can get there..if you wish to. The first step will be the hardest step to take. Your feet may feel like they’re stuck in cement..but lift one after the other to step by step & day by day striving to get home. Striving to reach your Center. Striving to BE purposeful and to get the full meaning out of Life. Life might be short; but my days are long  & full..Hope yours are also. Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in LOVE

The BEST Love Affairs begin with FRIENDship 1st<<<<

This topic comes to y’all by special request..Prompted by a post a loyal reader read that I made on another post recently. Just happens to be a topic I adore..Wish I’d have thought of writing on it myself. I’ll be back soon enough with my take on it & its going to be well worth the wait. My uncensored inner most thoughts about my favorite topic. Love…***>

Ever meet someone & everything is going perfectly, too perfect.  They’re looking yummy, smelling yummier(lawd!) , body is a dream come true, and a smile that melts your heart? And then in an instant that perfect picture is ruined when they begin to …talk. >

I’m sure many of you reading this can relate from the school of hard knocks regarding…love, dating, and being single. If one is honest with themselves(which is a learned skill..& I found as I age it gets easier & easier to be TRUE to myself) they’ve got to  admit this. The “thrill” of meeting someone new that one is attracted to; is a wonderful rush of wonderful feelings that makes  one feel just..well..WONDERFUL from head to toe. And I  realize thats a run -on sentence but its the only way I can express the sentiment I’m trying to describe. Capisce? Alright, cool . Moving right along>

Yet, with all of the lovely, wonderful, ecstatic feelings felt when meeting/dating someone new also comes..uncertainty. And silent unasked questions…Are they being HONEST? Is this the real them they’re presenting; or is this their representative? Representative= That AWESOME person in every way that you ever! dreamed of/can’t do no wrong/butter won’t melt in their mouth..Until the “honeymoon” stage ends; and the real them pops out and…OMG you wonder if you’ve died and landed in the twilight zone somewhere! Often I’ve wondered how folks can possibly think this “trickery” will work for long. And..how can someone respect someone who from the JUMP perpetrated an absolute fraud?!? Isn’t it much better to just be oneself out the gate? Least thats my theory@ This is who I BE. Take me as I am..Love me or Leave me the heck alone. I like who I am & have worked dang hard to get to this point so..if we don’t vibe we just don’t vibe..then we can mayhaps just be friends. Isn’t that much simpler than wasting another person’s time? >

I’ve come to believe that majority of the good things in life take..Time. Plain & simple there is no way around it. Even though we often, especially in this day & age, want to rush! things and want things right this dang minute…I call it the microwave era. We want things , our way, and we want them like 10 minutes AGO. However, have you ever had a meal from the microwave that tasted even half as good; as a meal cooked & slaved over with tender love & care? Some of y’all might say yes..but if you say yes you’ve not had my Mama’s cooking! >

I’ve adopted the belief system that this also applies to love…And that just as love takes time to form; it also takes time to discern if a potential lifemate is our “the 1” . Makes sense , right? I mean I’ve learned that everything that looks good; is NOT good for me. I’ve also learned that the man that was chosen for me to love for the rest of my life, before I was even born, will be someone I can and DO call friend. First…before we ever begin to climb the staircase upwards & graduate to..love. This sounds good in theory; but is problematic because that means not giving in to the lure of; sex. >

The good news about SEX is; its mind-blowingly the 2nd to best(giving birth is the 1st) powerful JOYful feeling on earth. Hope most of y’all can agree; if not you’ve been in love with the wrong folks! But the bad news about SEX is; it can “blind” one to anything else important about a person. I think thats where the adage@ love is blind comes from..So having said that; would it not make more sense to let sex wait until a pair really knows one another? And what better way , and easier way, to do that then to take the time to become friends first? Or even consider friends as love interests? If this is the best case scenario for new love…why don’t more of us do IT in this manner? Because we’re human and the laws of attraction don’t consider how strong the power of sex IS..Or least that is the way I see IT>

Remember backintheday when our first few dates were chaperoned? It was general practice for a concerted reason…to keep couples from falling prey to physical temptation before a proper courting process had taken place. Things might have progressed a bit too far these days; to revert completely back entirely to oldskool ways. But how about using the concept? Double-dating or dating in groups or making it a point not to spend time alone & date in public areas…Y’all might ask if I’ve tried this to know it works. Nope, but now that I’m freshly open to dating; its something I’m going to attempt to employ.(and I’ll be blogging about the UPside when it happens)  It’s that important to me to link up romantically with someone I call friend…enough to use the discipline to try something new. If one wants different results they’ve got to try different methods. There are two reasons I think & feel I know; that “friends first ” make the best life-long love affairs…>

#1 reason= The love relationship is built on a solid foundation. Having been friends first ; both parties should know the others’ likes, desires, and needs. This is the part of love relationships that began with SEX often fail….IF  you don’t know a person well; sex can distract from truly getting to know them. Yes, sex can get in the way of that…or least that’s my take on it. Why? Because GREAT sex can become all -consuming and over-ride taking the time in takes to get to know someone..And if you’ve been starting love relationships with sex , and it consistently doesn’t work out, true sign you might need to try something else. I’m just saying..

#2 reason=Excitement & passion is heightened! Why? Because the mutual trust, respect( a must) & tolerance for one another gained from being friends first makes the desire stronger to please one’s intimate partner..This is something missing in casual sex link-UPs..because there aren’t any emotions or feelings attached to the person.

Lastly, the mutual trust created during a friendship , amps the odds up to a lasting love affair. After all lack of trust is one of the biggest factors these days tearing couples apart..I’ve heard of women checking their man’s wallets(for phone numbers) , checking his cell for texts or phone numbers, sniffing his clothes, and dang near running a full investigation as to their man’s whereabouts..As IF doing any of this will stop a man(or anyone) from cheating. It won’t. Truth be told, in my opinion, IF you’ve got to check up on your mate; the relationship already has major issues. There is no trade-off or substitute for mutual regard and trust.

>>Anyone out there begin a love relationship with friendship first? I’d love for you to share the outcome..

loveisfriendshiploveisfriendshiploveisfriendship

Posted in ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

OPEN Doors*What Glitters Has Just as Much Chance of Being Gold as NOT*Walking in..>

May 18, 2013..A door is opening for me..All of my being is in anticipation..The butterflies in my tummy are going wild! To say I am excited!  is an; understatement. Are you ready when doors OPEN in your life? Do you recognize when a door is opening?(and quite often when another closes..) I am ready. Are U? I feel like the little girl in this picture..floodgate of thoughts/sensations/emotions are flowing through my mind/my spirit/my BEing. Not sure if I can express this better poetically or written verse; all I know is I’m going to let it flow..

Remember the moment or time frame in your life; when you realized you were truly grown? When you realized you’re now officially part of the “elder” group; the group the ‘young folks’ look UP to? Actually listen to?!? And if you’re really fortunate /blessed tell you they admire you? That moment in time for me is .. here & now. Funny thing about is just the other day , after I told someone my latest good news, they actually said to me.”Awwwww you’re allll grown UP now!>

In all honesty I’m not talking about just grown UP regarding age..For we all know some really old grown fools, right? What I’m speaking on is deeper than that..personal evolution. Inner revolution in short means IF you don’t like something about your life, don’t blame anyone else or life’s pitfalls, just dig deeeep within yourself to change IT. Sounds simple enough , right? It isn’t; but I can attest to the fact it can be done. Even when you’re knocking on 50’s door…I wish I could bottle this feeling/experience up and share it with the world..>

We’ve got options when doors are slammed in our face..a. Fall apart b. Cry alot c. Complain alot d. Fall apart! e. Blame it on the system/the infamous “they” /or whoever.. f. be patient until another door opens (OMG thats difficult sometimes..) About 21 months ago I had so many doors closing that I began to take it personal..I wasn’t used to rejection; honestly? I’m still not used to rejection. But  with jobs in the housing market drying up rapidly; rejection became quite the norm. A drastic change was eminent. I walked through a new door; one that I traveled cross country to walk through. It was the most difficult decision I’ve made in my entire life. The result? I’ve become a believer in miracles..>

I won’t waste keystrokes explaining each detail of the past 21 months..But I will say this. When doors open; they open wide. And I mean wide. You just have to recognize it; and quickly walk through the door before it closes. Use discernment(& alot of prayer works for me) & just do IT. I no longer feel that anything is impossible. For I’ve seen impossible things happen..mainly because I believed they would happen! And of course because my GOD’s hand is so very much in my life..Undeniably so. Almost everything in my life right now is brand new. Built of course on a sturdy foundation; but sort of re-modeled! I can’t think of any other way to express it. Digging deep to even try. I probably should’ve written this out poetically…Simply said next month I’m entering a new phase of my life. Brand new surroundings/brand new stuff!/Brand new car/Awesome brand new career/Brand new friends, extended family of friends/Brand new titles/community involvement..and I can  hardly contain my excitement. My cup is over-flowing with joy..I am ready. Certainly if it can happen to me, especially at almost 50, lol! (OMG its so close now) , then it can happen to & for anyone. YOU’VE just go to believe that it can. (whatever it is that you desire..)  My next project?  A brand new man, my last “the one” man. Finding & making time for a social life…because guess what I’m betting my next big good news will BE? THAT I’M NO LONGER SINGLE(though I’m not complaining for the self-inflicted  single time has been good for me & to me)..so making time for that is a must. Soon, very! soon. I am ready to be part of the love-union that I was born to be in..  Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, **RELIGIOUS**, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

>Daily Prompt WordPress DP Challenge*Who Is The Most Important Person..? ..GOD!

..Who is the most important person in your life? And what would a day in your life be without them?…This is the daily wordpress dp challenge topic..Not often that I do these at all..But I can’t resist the opportunity to challenge myself by participating this time. It wasn’t difficult to choose the person who is the most important in my world/my life/my life journey; though   there were MANY  runnerUPs..Will let my thoughts flow  later as I continue to make my lifelong carbon imprint; in hopes that my sons/future grandchildren/and anyone else who can benefit from my life experiences is touched in a positive way by my words. Some reading this might say, hmmmm, but GOD isn’t a person , and thus doesn’t “fit” the criteria. And they’d be absolutely correct GOD isn’t a person; my GOD is far bigger than that. HE so aptly fits the criteria for this question..that I’ve never, ever been more certain of anything else in my entire life. What would a day without him in my life be like? I would be *dead* physically , spiritually & mentally; and here are a few of the reasons why…Ya’ll ready for this? Well , ready or not here are the reasons so buckle UP and hold onto your hats/wigs>

#1….7 years ago my doctor told me I was a walking stroke waiting to happen. Point blank. My blood pressure was SO high they wouldn’t release me out of the emergency room until it had lowered; a full day later. No one in the ER could believe I’d walked in & that I was only having headaches & not migraines. To this day I’ve NEVER taken a prescription med nor have I been hospitalized since then. I worked hard to maintain my stress level, I exercise daily, I drink raw veggies, and I thank God for having a hand in it so I didn’t stroke out.   For  the past 6 yrs my blood pressure has been above normal ..My GOD is mighty and he is good ALL  the time

#2….21 yrs ago I was in a car crash SO bad, and I was driving, that I was ejected from the car. Through the passenger window…I was knocked unconscious immediately and don’t recall any of it. I had no head trauma, no injuries; except for a bad lesion on my left shoulder. All I have left to show for it is a keloid scar; which I refused to have covered with a skin graft. I want to be reminded of my own dumb actions …but more importantly how much GOD loved me enough to give me another chance to live on this Earth. My GOD is mighty and he is good ALL the time

#3….After a divorce 17 yrs ago from the love of my life; I’d invested so much of myself into the marriage/relationship..I didn’t know who I was when it was over. It was supposed to be the end-all love relationship for me…quite literally I didn’t know how I could bear living without him. Or better yet living without being his wife. I was emotionally *spent & broken*..But now years later? He’s one of my dearest friends & was an outstanding co-parent over the years. It took me what seemed like forever; but I forgave/worked on mending my severely broken heart/and am thankful for the experience of being a very good wife in an excellent marriage…those experiences will help me seal the deal forever with my next & LAST  husband! My GOD is mighty and he is GOOD all the time

#4….17 months ago I was a victim of the recession hitting & drying UP career fields in the housing industry on the West Coast. What had once been a gold mine just poof! dried up like the cactus there..I had NO clue what I was going to do for my next job/my youngest son headed out of state to college/my love relationship wasn’t moving closer to the marriage that I yearned for. Well, wasn’t moving fast enough for me lol! I was at a cross-roads and a decision had to be made. I made one of the biggest , hardest! decisions of my life ; moved cross country with my folks. Which I had never, ever done before…Left a place I loved dearly, and still do…yet, I’ve never looked back since. I’ve got a JOB I love(yep, I know ya’ll are sick of hearing me say that but oh well….) , am surrounded by love, and have met such awesome, and good people that have supported me/my ventures since day 1 of my arrival. Instant extended family of friends that welcomed me with open arms…for I was like a fish out of water at first. WithOUT the hand of GOD in it I’d certainly have fallen into a deep funk or depression…instead? I can’t count on one hand the days I’ve been blue. Real talk. My laughter is multiplied by more laughs; probably more than I’ve ever laughed in my entire life. Life is pretty dang good and I’ve got a schedule SO busy..I’m often wishing I had more hours in a day..My GOD is mighty and he is GOOD all the time

>>GOD patiently waited for me to believe in him 100% for 47.5 years..and that is a very, long time. He has taught me to have patience, patience, and jeeeeez more patience..as I wait for the very last piece that will make my world complete. Until then though? I’m complete. I’m completely happy. And I’m completely sure that I don’t ever want to live , not 1 day, without GOD in my life. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)

Posted in <<COMING SOON, ***DPCHALLENGE, =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words

~MAKE Choices *or* MAKE Excuses~

This ‘write’ is inspired by..Life. And will be written from the ‘mental notes” I’ve taken along my journey>

Disclaimer: I don’t claim to know all the answers..to anything. But what I do speak on I’ve lived. Through trial & error; and this theory is what works for me. In every aspect of my life it is working; only exception is my last love relationship. Which honestly I’ve not applied the time it deserves..but the right time for that is coming. Soon. Very soon. Anyways I say all of that to say I practice what I preach. Moving right along>

Keep it moving means exactly what it implies. Stay busy reaching/striving for your goals/dreams! This is a conscious  “choice” we can make. And it is necessary; if one wants to make sound, progressive choices instead of excuses. Ever met a person that just goes on and on about would’ve , should’ve , could’ve? They’re probably also a couch potato ..as IF that will help them do some of those things they wish they could’ve done. Staying busy , productive, and progressive keeps my mind clear of unnecessary clutter and B.S.! I simply don’t have time for it..and the rest of the time I’m sleep. But still working on getting more of that. But anyways moving right along>

Kis..yep, almost just as good as kiss! Keep it simple..Choose what you want to do. List the things it will take to get the job done. And one by one knock down the things on that list..before you know it..mission accomplished! Keeping it simple allows one to NOT get distracted(or delayed) by unnecessary complications. “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler” Quote by Albert Einstein

I used to live by chance..Trying to do everything in a perfect manner. Wound up feeling disappointed in myself alot because..a state of perfection doesn’t exist! When I chose to grab life and my goals..by the cajones and just do IT..I’ve been a cazillion times more effective in achieving what I set out to do. And a heck of alot happier/comfy in my own skin/content 100% with my choices/decisions. Sometimes  you just have to step out on FAITH. Been there and doing it. Alot. It is never an easy walk; but waiting for others to decide my fate left me feeling unfulfilled. NO one person , nobody, can make the best choices for an adult that will leave that person feeling wonderful. But making a choice that is right for me(you); regardless of whether it fails or not..has been awesome for my soul and self-esteem. When the choice, my choice, works!..I feel like I’m walking on air/gives me more confidence to make more choices & decisions/and motivates me to strive higher. The impossible truly is possible..ya’ll will just have to trust me on that one.  Or try it for yourselves.

IF there is something about your life you’re not content with; work to change IT. We all know the type of folks who whine about this or that..yet do nothing to change it. That is their choice..however for those that truly want to make a change..just DO it. 17 months ago I took a leap of faith(for the 1st time in my life journey)  and I’ve never looked back…Change? It is possible if you want it badly enough. Even at almost 50 yrs of age.

Last but not least most of us have a very, very strong relationship with our “inner voice”. That “gut” feeling. I call mine my “vibe radar”..when I feel good vibes from a person or an environment..99.9% of the time it is spot on. Same for the vibes I get when I’m making a decision or choice. Its called intuition. With most women it is strong; problem is we don’t listen to it half as much as we should. Until we get older/wiser/stronger/BETTER..or maybe that is just how its worked out for me. Word of advice? Learn yourself. Learn what you’re skilled at. Learn what you do BEST. Strive to figure out your GOD given talents. We ALL  have them; just some of ya’ll don’t use them or don’t know what yours are.  Learn your flaws and your faults. Admit them and work on improving them. Daily..Learn your weaknesses. Try to either stay “away” from them or get stronger so they won’t be a weakness. Its my belief the more one learns themselves; the more one’s inner voice can be heard and felt. Real talk. It works if you work it. Least that is the way I see IT…Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one & only) 

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, ^^Thought Provoking^^

^Are U Who U Were Supposed To B?

This is DAY 1 of the rest of my life journey…WOW..Every , single morning when I rise at O dark thirty that is my 2nd thought. Real talk. My first thought is to thank my GOD for waking me..Inofitself, even in excellent health; that IS a blessing. I am fighting the urge to free flow this morning lyrically; but it is coming. And good news? I’ve found a poetic partner! (but thats another topic for another time & post..) Constantly during this part of my spiritual & life journey; I question the self part of moi(me). Am I the person I was created to be? Am I getting closer to my GOD given purpose? Am I who I was supposed to B along the journey? Yep, as usual my questions have questions…Am I living the answers?

I think, yes, I am becoming myself. Finally, I am the me I was supposed to B..As I strive to reach all of my goals(spiritually,physically,love relationship/career/education/personal goals..) and pushing myself to do more & more in a day; slowly but surely I’m getting closer. To? Living UP to my GOD given purpose..I’m not there yet & I just know it. I feeeeel it. Without a doubt “HE” isn’t finished with me/”HE” is still working on me/”HE” is for sure working THROUGH me..I can feel it as sure as I’m sitting here. Which inofitself is nothing short of a miracle! Even just a few years back I wasn’t feeling nor seeing “HIM”; I’d grown numb. Impossible as that seems, with  as much as I possess  feelings/passion!/creativity/energy/vibrance; I’d grown numb. And if that can happen to me..certainly it can happen to anyone.

I’ve learned that nothing in this lifetime is impossible. Nada. Rien. Niente. Nihilum. With GOD and a positive attitude in our lives; not even what seems out of our reach is impossible. WE and I am limited more by what we “think” we can’t accomplish; than by what is factual. I’ve lived and learned that the  hard way. And now that I’m on the other side of that ephiphany?!? WOW. Not even I can truly express in it words..it just feels good. Alot. And it flows as naturally from me as the sun shining. If my words have inspired one person reading this to “reflect” on working to become self; I’ll be content. Positive vibes spread like wild fire…Pass it on. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed! 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 and Only)