Posted in =Self Discovery=, Positive Movement Topic

**PERFECTLY Managing My IMperfections** Are U?

I can almost clearly recall back-in-the-day trying my best to be a perfectionist..In ALL that I did or said..For some reason I’d convinced myself that being “perfect” was what I had to do & be..I had the perfect husband who did only perfect things & would NEVER cheat on me like other women’s husbands..Oh NO not my husband! (By the way he was a nearly perfect & fine as heck hubby; and I’m not saying that just cause he’s a reader either lol! I’m serious..) I had the perfect children who I swore be danged weren’t going to have temper tantrums like other folks kids/were going to be scholars that read & read & weren’t allowed to listen to negative rap, etc etc…I kept the perfect household that was clean enough to eat off the floor..No small achievement with 3 small sons romping about..I was a hyper ball of energy juggling a cazillion balls at a time at the pace of the energizer bunny..From the outside looking in I had it ALL..Perfection to a T. And yet it wasn’t perfect..Nothing is ever as perfect as it looks. Even when it is US viewing the given situation at hand>>

As I reflect back, briefly, on those days I realize that I’m nearest “perfection”; when I’m NOT trying to reach perfection. Took me many moons to come to that realization..First & foremost a state of perfection simply does NOT exist. In ANYTHING. Admitting that to myself was the first step to my perfectionist recovery..I was holding myself to a standard that was a set-up for failure from the onset..Hand in hand with that I was also holding my loved ones to the same unreachable standards. Perfection doesn’t exist/A state of perfection does NOT exist/Nothing in this life is perfect/I am not perfect. Over and over and over again I had to let the words rain down on me & soak into my being>>

It isn’t easy to acknowledge one’s own faults/flaws..Truly takes much self-reflection to learn what makes us tick..Learning what truly makes us; happy. I learned I don’t desire being perfect..Being perfect takes too much work! And it isn’t FUN..I’m enjoying life far more now that I’m just allowing myself to BE. In turn I was able to relay to my sons to learn from their mistakes…I think its a mistake to try to STOP children from making mistakes..That is impossible. And long ago I quit wasting time on things that weren’t realistic nor feasible>>

IF this were a perfect world & life I think it would be called something entirely different..It would be called HEAVEN. And since it isn’t? I’m just glad I’ve learned to accept me & others for who they are..Imperfections and all..It is a state of being that takes far less effort than attempting to reach perfection. This way is effortless! I’m still juggling a cazillion balls; but I’ve learned that the key isn’t making sure no balls drop. It is knowing what can bounce back if you drop it & what can’t..Or least that is the way I see it.

Posted in ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

****Yes, What YOU Think Really does Matter****

How do U or do U maintain or use the power of positive thinking? Did U know I believe(& I strive 2 live it..) that what we intake; impacts us often times immediately(and other times over periods of time)? Were you aware that positive thinkers are statistically proven to . 1. Be better at coping with problems. 2. More resilient 3. Look for solutions 4. More than likely to ask for help when needed 5. Better in a crisis 6. Highly successful in life/careers/relationships 6. Tend to be kinder 7. Increased capacity for joy 8. Less likely to have mental health issues 9. Less stress and therefore better health 10. Better immunity…

>”Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your DESTINY” ~~~Gandhi

Lets rap..Anyone out there have suggestions on how they use powerful thinking? Any thoughts or tips on how to convert from a half-empty type personality(negative) to half-full type personality(positive)?

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

**KARMA. **DP CHALLENGE *PostADay*Berna’s Way..

~~I’ve  decided to post a ‘Thought 4 the Week’ .  Going to jump start things by starting with one near N dear to my heart. It is my true BELIEF that what we intake (whether it is what we hear, see, or ingest into our bodies..) can and DOES have an impact on us! That includes what we see or hear from others. What we see or hear in our environment.(including what is on the BOOB tube ) It only makes sense that if one intakes alot of negativity; it can impact even the most positive of people. In a negative way! And negative vibes will seep out in some form or another. So what is Karma? This is the way I see IT…I’m currently reading two books; one of the books is a reference guide @Philosophy by Steven Law. I’ve always had an interest in the Hindu concept of Karma. I’ve learned quite a bit more about it(as well as opposing viewpoints & concepts) by reading an array of books. But, before I go further just one more quote that I feel is relevant.

>>>Karma= the Moral Capital. Karma=the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence. Karma=Effect from Cause; from one’s own actions. Karma=Whatever we do with our body, mind, or speech will have a corresponding RESULT.

*Recently I’ve found myself saying that GOD makes no mistakes; no accidents. Everything happens for a reason. Could then some of that “reason” be based on our very thoughts, our actions, and our WORDS? Of course…If one believes that such a things as “karma” exists; then they also believe that nothing happens by accident. From that line of thinking it can stand to reason that; there are cosmic influences at work that determine our lives. Thus good deeds bear sweeeet  fruit . Bad deeds bear fruit that is beyond bitter…One has to have an open mind ~N~ think far outside of the box to even begin or want to grasp this concept. Having said all of that what could it hurt to THINK, ACT and SPEAK in a positive manner? Especially when the results of doing so have such potential to yield positive things?!? Don’t we all benefit more from positive light than negative darkness? The words inof themselves@ light and dark have great meaning. Objects are ATTRACTED to light! Like a moth….Objects can not been seen in the dark.  Hmmmm. One more quote …

“In simple terms, what does karma mean? It means that whatever we do, with our body, speech, or mind, will have a corresponding result. Each action, even the smallest, is pregnant with its consequences. It is said by the masters that even a little poison can cause death, and even a tiny seed can become a huge tree. And as Buddha said: “Do not overlook negative actions merely because they are small; however small a spark may be, it can burn down a haystack as big as a mountain.” Similarly he said: “Do not overlook tiny good actions, thinking they are of no benefit; even tiny drops of water in the end will fill a huge vessel.” Karma does not decay like external things, or ever become inoperative. It cannot be destroyed “by time, fire, or water.” Its power will never disappear, until it is ripened.”~Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Posted in =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~Poetry A Berna Original~

@It is the Simple Things that are priceless..

~~IT’S THE SIMPLE THINGS

WHEN THINKING OF WHAT MATTERS TO ME MOST

MY MATERIAL “THANGS” DON’T EVEN COME CLOSE

THANKFUL EACH N EVERY  MORNING I OPEN MY EYES

EAGERLY I RUN OUTSIDE TO WATCH THE SUNRISE!

NATURES’ WONDERS..ONE OF GOD’S SWEETEST GIFTS

2 US

PLUS

DOESN’T COST A SINGLE  DIME

STOPPING 2 SMELL THE ROSES IS PART OF MY DAILY GRIND

THOSE LITTLE PLEASURES THAT EXCITE ME TILL I’M ON FULL

HAS TAUGHT ME 2 NOT SWEAT SMALL STUFF~NO TIME 4 BULL

FOR REAL!

STILL..

A DAILY CALL FROM MY MOMMA IS A PURE DELIGHT

OR DADDY BUZZING ME..

JUST 2 MAKE SURE MY HEADS’ STILL SCREWED ON TIGHT

USED TO TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED

BEFORE MY FEET WERE FIRMLY PLANTED

NOW HIGH ON MY LIST OF ADORATIONS

R MY SONS MANY “TEXT” ABBREVIATIONS..

“U’RE ON MY MIND MOMS N I LUV U”

CAN QUICKLY FLIP MY MOOD WHEN I’M BLUE

OH ITS THE SIMPLEST OF THINGS

THAT MY PUREST JOY CLINGS

FEELING SO HECKOFA  AWESOME IN MY OWN SKIN

KNOW XACTLY WHERE I’M HEADED N WHERE I’VE BEEN

AS EACH NEW DAY IS BORN COMES A NEW OPPORTUNITY

TO SHARE LOVE N LAUGHTER~WHILST PROMOTING UNITY

*PRICELESS AND IRREPLACEABLE THINGS THAT MONEY CAN’T BUY*~~An Original Berna Creation , Jan 2010

I recently, very, had a conversation with someone N I said.” I AM  a complex, multidimensional person. I AM a person who is a compilation of  ALL that I’ve been thru/experienced  since birth till now N survived. Years back I thought I wouldn’t live to see 50 yrs of age and yet! here I AM knocking on the door of 50 yrs of age. Having lived thru some things the average person may not have survived. N yet! I think I AM an average person trying to do extraordinary things. I feeeel I AM different &  uniquely created to be ME”  And their response was, “But is that good way   2  describe  yourself to someone who doesn’t yet fully know you?” My response. “I think it is, because it is makes UP who I am. And it is the TRUTH as I see it because I know MYself”.. I mean sure it would have “sounded” better to say I’m a simple person with simple needs; or would it?? Personally? I don’t know that I care to spend much time around people who are simply “simple”. And yet I guess it would depend on what ones’ definition of simple IS. After all I’ve lived long enough to discover that as individuals we can often times have different descriptions of things.  Sometimes altering definitions to our own circumstance or situation.  Yep, I’m having some deep thoughts this morning and trying to work through it doing what I love best..writing  it out. So please bear with what I’m almost certain will be a ton of run-on sentences. Understand that is how quickly my thoughts are flowing, in every way possibly imagined, and I’m just thankful I can type @ 90 wpm to keep UP with my…..thoughts. So anywayz as I sat to write at my usual Odark thirty time frame I found myself yearning for what I said I’d work on getting to a couple years ago. Simple things. I dug up this poem I wrote over 2 years ago to prove to myself I had indeed come to a time N place in life that I yearned to appreciate , Simple Things. I want to get back 2 that and have promised MYself  this morning that I’d take a minute to reflect on this week N the simply beautiful things I’m thankful for.

And so earlier this week I took “time” to call my EXmominlaw on her birthday. A woman who has meant & does mean so much 2 me. She stills calls me daughter and I still call her my 2nd Momma….I made sure I called her during my lunch break so it would be early her time. California time. I did not want a good part of the day , her day!, to go by without personally wishing her a happy Bday. Simple things like that matter 2 me..the little things that say I care! I could’ve sent a card. Or a gift card. Or flowers. But I wanted to actually hear her voice. In a world in which I feel has become less N less personalized I still strive to give personal parts of me to loved ones. And it is what I yearn for in return. But anywayz I called her. Her joy in me calling on HER bday was tangible. I could feeeeel and hear it thru the phone. It was warm! It was sincere. IT was genuine.  And I let her talk..I was straining to hear her as I dodged people in a crowded Mall frantically trying to get to the food court because I was starving! Yet, there both of us were. Connected, thank God, by a cell phone connection that I thanked my lucky stars didn’t disconnect. Gotta love Verizon! As I listened to this woman talk who I’m no longer connected to legally ..Who has known me and I her for over 23 yrs..A woman who tho I’m no longer with her son LOVES/ADORES me I realized how much of a blessing that IS. For here is a person who has seen me grow N grow, watched my sons grow N grow, and herself grown N grown…and the love is sooooo strong it can be felt thru a cell phone connection. It warmed my day to warm her day!  2 spend TIME with her even tho there were a ton of people around me in that Mall and I struggled to hear her. We both gained a mutual satisfaction from that “simple” phone call. And yet when I called I was just calling to make sure I gave her what she deserves. A personal phone call instead of an ecard/card/flowers/gift card/plant/or expensive gift sent in the mail. I gave her something far more priceless and gained from it MYself. WOW.  To give a little bit of oneself totally for another can result in a warm, fuzzy feeeeeeling for the giver.  Go figure! And so even though I recently find MYself pondering if and when I’ll truly have TIME to invest in a lifemate that I so desire should he come crashing suddenly into my world…I think in working thru those thoughts as I, write, that someway somehow! I’ll find the time..I want to leave U and myself with that final thought on this topic. Lets find the TIME 2day to simply spend time with those we love and care about. Period. Til I write again stay UPlifted N always remember 2 count your blessings 2day N everyday. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one n only)

Posted in Positive Movement Topic, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

@Physical Touch 101…

*Disclaimer: I am not in any form or fashion advising to reach out N touch strangers…Nor is it something I practice on a regular basis; actually far from it! But for the sake of recanting this very true story I’ve included what truly happened. Enjoy the read..*

Oh, I am SO happy God blessed me with a life in which events/happenings occur that make it so storytellable!(this word is a Bernaism for those just joining in) Why? Because I enjoy there never being a dull moment. Beyond making* life* colorFUL(N I love color..) it keeps life from being..boring. When one sits and thinks about it every, single day interesting things or conversations happen to all of us..Just a matter of how we look at it, right? Isn’t it said also, a very old adage, that we live N learn every day? Or we are supposed to(says who?) or we aren’t really living life to the FULLest.  Hmmmm..let that sink in for a minute.

So anywayz last week I bought a new car. N for the record I simply could not love it more..The car deal I finally closed on was a 3.5 day experience full of alot of ups N downs virtually speaking & on the phone with a person I never laid eyes on until the evening I went to pick my car up. The connect was found online by my very own Daddy & I took it from there..N though this isn’t the first new car I’ve purchased it is the very first time I’ve hung on past the first offer I liked(advice from my Daddy) I was ready to say SOLD after the first grrrreat deal the internet salesman offered me. Mayhaps I am the typical woman buyer (sucker) salesmen love to deal with. Mayhaps I am just naive and take people based on their “word”..whatever the case waiting for the 5th offer (and the BEST) from the salesman was an experience I really don’t want to relive anytime soon. Ever if I can help it. Ugh , yuck, and OMG I went through a rollercoaster of emotions & frustrations in the many emails, texts, and conversations with my salesman. By the time we met in person the night me and my Mom went to pick the car up I felt emotionally..spent. I had not even seeeeen the car I had decided on & was going to sign the paperwork to buy.  The deal was so sweeeet I couldn’t wait to fast forward with the day to get to my car. Color absolutely RED . I love it. I wanted to rush to sign the paperwork before for some reason the salesman realized how incredible the deal was N changed his mind(because there was very minimal profit for him in the deal) So finally signed the final, jeeeez a ton of paperwork,  paper. Walked outside on the lot to drive off in my car and when I saw it..emotions just swept over me in a wave of uncontrollable joy. WOW I had a sweeeet deal and was going to drive off in this oh, so cute, absolutely red car! I struggled for a minute whether to hug my Mom or the salesman. Or both. N though I knew how hard this man had worked for this deal, and  had a TON of patience with alll the questions(my questions had questions!)  I’d asked N confronted him with over 3.5 days..he was still a stranger to me. Comfy as we’d gotten on the phone still until this night I’d never laid eyes on him before. I didn’t know him at all …And yet before I could stop myself I’d run over to him and hugged him! OMG Not a full body embrace but still a hug. And I think he was shocked for a moment; but then he hugged me back. Briefly we connected. Fast forward to after I got home about an hour later…

My cell rang N it was my salesman..Oh crap! Did he realize he wasn’t going to make a penny from the deal and wanted my car back?? I almost didn’t answer my phone. But I did…N he said “You know I had a really, really tough day day. Been up since O-dark thirty. And all I had to eat 2day was a bowl of cereal about 7 am and then got to work about 830 am..you arrived at almost 6pm. About midway 2day I got a call from someone from back home. My very best friend, since childhood died today. And all day long I dealt with those feelings, plus sold 4.5 cars, your car was the half car cause the deal profits you more than I. And all day no one really made me feel comforted from my loss..until you hugged me. A total stranger. And I just need you to know how much I neeeeeeded that on this day! And thank you for such acts of kindness are rare. If there is anything you feel I can ever do for you please don’t hesitate to call me…”

Wowwww how can a simple hug, that I had struggled to even offer, mean so much to a…stranger? But then again is not human touch essential to us all just as sunshine is necessary for plants to grow?  Are we not blessed with hands to..touch? Why are some so hard-pressed on the simplest of gestures as a hug ? Is it NOT natural to want to connect with other people ?  Weren’t some of our best friends once…strangers? Hmmmm Well this is the way I see IT. It is normal to touch.  That is why I feel it is SO important to embrace babies and continue to do so as they grow up. It is a normal human reflex that is often taught and sometimes come from within..the need to be touched. I have encountered people in my life journey who feel odd when touched. I was raised being hugged, kissed and my Mom held hands with my brother and I whenever we went places. To me touch is..normal. After 50 years of marriage my parents stillll to this day hold hands often when they go places. Seems so normal to me I don’t question it. To me touch is..normal. So normal to me to touch in a positive way I never could find it possible to discipline my 3 sons with physical harm. Just doesn’t seem right to me..to touch someone in anger.  What IF we could start a movement? A Touch Someone in a Positive Way Day! Not in a sexual way . But a simple hug. A light touch of their arm as you speak.( I speak with my hands anyway LOL..it is my way) A gentle kiss in the middle of an arguement with a lover(try that it will immediatly END the arguement if your partner is human) On my mission to spread LOVE and warmth and a positive vibe this is but one element to add. And oh how beautiful it would be to know that anyone, someone, out there feeeels the same way. This world needs more laughter. This world needs more positive touch. This world needs more LOVE. And its my inherent belief that one person can begin a movement. One person can start a momentum to move mountains..All major movements/events began with a dream someone had that it could happen. I hope sharing my story has in some way “touched” your day in a positive way. Have a fabulous Sunday and remember to count your blessings 2day and every , single day. Sincerely, Berna(the 1 N only)