We all need a good vent every now and then..Some of us more than others..Having done my fair share of venting, I’ve got wagon loads of compassion for those in need of a good vent..But what about the flip side of the coin? Does the ventee walk away with a warm , fuzzy after-glow? Or is it normal for the ventee to often feel like an emotional bag of bricks was just laid on their shoulders??
What defines us to ourselves? Is it our intentions? Is it our thoughts? Is it our actions? Is it our attitude? Is it our outlook on life? Some of us don’t like to admit it(hand raised high in the air! ) but we want our existence to be remembered..I think we all want to matter..We want to define ourselves with something that is LASTING..Whether it is a published book, successful business or goodwill towards others..Some of us also pour a great deal of the best parts of ourselves into our children..I’ve very guilty of that! Why? Because they’ll be my living legacy long after I’m gone..Yet, isn’t it the little moments quilted together that define us? I believe it is..
Who we spend time with defines us>> Who we keep close are the people that will most influence us..When I close my eyes & reflect on the BEST moments of my life? More times than not those were moments that had someone else in them..Someone close..Dear ‘trusted’ friends who have been there for us in all types of weather..Family members who love us unconditionally to the very core of our being..And those we’ve loved deeply , who care for us even after seeing us at our worst..I’ve learned & am still learning to be ‘conscious’ about who I spend time with ; for they have a say in defining us..Many moons ago I used to tell my sons pick & choose your friends wisely! At 51 years of age that still remains true..Mayhaps even more so now>>
Acts of Kindness>>Corny as it sounds it can make a loved ones’ or stranger’s day! We aren’t always aware of the impact our simple presence has on others..A smile…An unexpected tip(recently happened in my world that I tipped someone whose establishment provided horrific overall service) A comforting ear..A hug..WE have the power to restore someone’s faith in humanity..
We choose our perception of the World>> I heard someone say very recently that the world is full of mostly evil people..Made me a little sad that they’d feel that way..I quickly realized I couldn’t change their mind..I think it is an individual decision we can choose to make every minute of the day..Is the world revolving around us or can we step out of ourselves & see the world from a more realistic viewpoint? If we can’t ever see the world from another’s perspective what does that say about us? There is alot to be said for that old adage@ Walk a mile in my shoes..>>
Addressing naughty habits>>I found myself saying , just today, perfection is boring..There are many things we may dislike about ourselves..None of us are above anyone else..We are human & will make mistakes..Throughout our lives we forms habits, attitudes and even addictions that can be detrimental, but to let them define us would be the greatest misfortune..We must and should strive to dust ourselves off, do better, work on self-improvement/progression and move onwards and upwards>>
What have been some of your life-defining or life-altering moments? Who have you chosen to BE?
**There are those rare friendships that are effortless..**
Three decades..How can mere words express?
Out of all the beautiful friends I’ve met..
You’re always and still the best
Whenever I needed to call you
You’re always at the end of the phone
Whenever I encountered life’s troubles
I knew I wouldn’t face them alone
It’s easy to take for granted
Someone that is always there
Sometimes you miss the chance
To express how much you really care
It’s simple to forget all they do for you
How they’re a sister and a friend
And when times get hard & you’re knocked off your feet
They pick you up again!
Yes, I remember..
Lest you forget on this marvelous milestone birthday
I cling to our friendship in silent countless ways
There is a soothing closeness how I can be myself with you
Like slipping on an old familiar comfy pair of well-worn shoes
If I’ve indeed taken you for granted I do sincerely apologize
Knowing you’re in my world means more than you realize
Can’t help but remember..
All that you’ve been , done and are to me
And though I might forget to say
I appreciate dearly your love for me
Each and every single day
I love you always Sis!
Just a random question… Is there anything you’d gladly wait in a mile-long line for???(or longer…) Without complaint & patiently..IF you knew what you wanted was guaranteed at the end of the line! Whether you share here/at work/with family or friends; cute light topic for a little mental relaxation..Or least it was for me! My answer came so easy it surprised even me..Because I hate standing in line(almost as much as I hate being in bumper to bumper traffic!) I’ll break the ice by going first. Corny as it sounds.. I’d stand in the world’s longest line for love. Alright now it is your turn..Go!
Who are the people you can rely on for counsel or motivation? Who gives you feedback that you can put to good use? Who helps you resist the temptation to shy away from deep personal reflection and/or positive change? These are the some of the purposes that those who serve as my sounding board fulfill..My life wouldn’t be the same without them! Whether self-appointed or just fell into the role; I appreciate them to the fullest..Again and again thanks y’all for always answering my calls..
Most of us need people to give us support, advice, and motivation from time to time..Someone we can run things by or just to vent & release…Whether one’s sounding board simply just listens or offers advice/insight; they get YOU. I’m of the belief that this process has helped me to grow , in ways I wasn’t even aware I needed to change or improve..In addition knowing I’ve got folks I can confide in is highly comforting..In a world as complex as the one we live in that is a priceless!-stress relieving fix..Have you ever felt the need to release to someone who genuinely cares/appreciates you? If so ever thought about if you didn’t have them in your life? Do you have anyone you can call to say I just needed to hear the sound of your voice ? It can be almost as comforting as sitting by the waters edge..Even if you don’t feel like sharing here why not give them a call/text/email/or smoke signal to say thank you & I appreciate YOU. Alright y’all all input is welcome ..Never know whose day you might make from simply sharing your experiences. Lets rap!
Waving y’all! Quick break in a VERY busy day..It IS my 51st bday..Wooooohooooo!!! Extremely humbled by the amazing amount of Bday calls, texts, emails, ecards, gifts ..Blown my hair back & as I reflect on this year past? Flew far faster than I anticipated it would..Yet as I count off the goals I accomplished this year? Almost completed all of them..Progresssive year indeed..What was most important to me? Living IN the moment; and making those I consider dear feel as special as they are to me. Nothing more special to me than time spent & enjoyed! I learn & I yearn to learn even more. Thanks to all who have added to my journey. Thanks to all who taught me lessons I’d not have learned had you not entered my world. Most of all thanks be to my God for allowing me to learn the lessons a tad bit quicker..Embarking on a new adventure as we speak; and I am READY. Be back asap to share ..Till then live, love , laugh! Have a fun & safe 4th. 4ever sincere & still standing, Berna(the 1 & Only)
Actually planned on posting on the declining state of civility in our society..BUT it is on my heart to blog about drinking and driving..For a multitude of reasons; but I’m going to blame it on the many commercials I’ve seen this season. (Like the pic of the one I posted..) Combine that with the fact that I’m a people loving social butterfly that cares about people..>>
So cheers to all of y’all who will go out & have a good time tonight bringing the New Year IN..Hopefully you’ll have read this(or anything else on the topic) and designate a driver first. Arrange to travel in groups & hire a cab beforehand to and from the party..There are cities with programs implemented tonight to call & arrange a tow/ride after drinking..BUT whose going to remember that after they’re drunk?!? Whatever the case remember REAL friends care enough to take keys or etc, etc.yada yada..I’ll read/write y’all next year! It IS almost 2014..Woooo hoooooo..Have fun safely & stay blessed! 4ever Sincere, Berna(the 1 & Only)
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!
**For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven**
I’ve spent the majority of my adult life either: dating a man/marrying a man/pining over a man/SACRIFICING my own needs for a man/crying over a man or getting over a man..Finally, at long last!, my personal identity isn’t centered around feeling significant; only when I have a significant other..That is saying a mouthful! So let me say it one ‘mo time for emphasis..I’ve finally reached a place in my life that I’m very comfy with me & I do NOT need someone to complete ME..Having said that it doesn’t, by any means, mean that I don’t desire being married and LOVED..I really DO>>
This will be my 3rd and last Christmas SINGLE..I feel it in my bones & spirit..I’ve enjoyed, to the fullest, the company of my parents..People might find it odd(and I know they do..) that I so love spending time with/around my parents. I don’t expect other people to understand why..Nor is anyone else’s understanding required..There are things other folks do , that I don’t ‘get’ either. But for the sake of this piece; here is the brief explanation. With the exception of this past 3 years; I’ve lived cross-country from my parents. Always after a visit I’d miss them so badly! Now that my parents are nearing mid 70s; I am taking full advantage of our time spent together..I know God makes NO accidents; and my now residing in the same city was/is a Godsend..
It is my belief that the most precious & priceless gift a person can give..Is quality time..Or acts of kindness that require time being put into them..This Christmas was special to me because I spent quality time, with the two people who brought me into this world. In my mind? That is a blessing! And the man who was created to love me & only me? Will totally understand that without me having to explain..I’ve got such faith! that I’m right where I should be~~in every aspect of my life. All the pieces of my life are falling right into place..so my lifetime love is next! It is so very close I can taste & feel it…Woooo hooooo & yay! Anyone out there have a story of being single at Christmas that you’d like to share?
..When I woke UP this morning the 1st thought I had was..These are the last days I’ll be 40ish..I’m eager and oh so ready to experience my 50s. NEVER in this life journey did I, of all people, think I’d be capable of embracing my 50s. My story continues; and yep, we all have a story. A story behind all of our lives that makes us who we ARE. As I say good bye to my 40s? I realize how much GROWTH transpired over those 10 remarkable years. WOW, wow, and omg wow. Time really does fly when one is caught UP; living/learning/stumbling/leaping hurdles/crawling under stuff!/and making a way when NO ONE else saw a way around things..The past 2 years? Its moved at warp speed! Good thing after awesome happening upon mind-blowing positive miraculous experiences for me! Whoa, I’ve had to hold on to the imaginative handrail so I didn’t fall or slip..Its good. Life is so good when one opens their eyes & their heart and hands things/all things over to; God. There is no other way to express it. There is no logical explanation. But that is my reality. I stand. I stand. I stand. So the countdown begins to the day I make 50 years of age. I’m thankful , so thankful, for all I’ve lived/loved! so much loveeeee/learned/seen/heard; and last but not least I thank God for allowing me to give life to the most amazing sons a Mother could have. God gifted me with 3 awesome MEN who will love me forever..IF there is but one piece of unsolicited advice I can offer to young married women out there? Try hard to co-raise the same type of MEN you’d be proud to marry. Real talk for real..I could go on & on & on about that topic; but I won’t . Anyways farewell 40s! Goooood bye 40s . Waving bye bye to my forties..Feeling unexpected emotions! Until I read/write y’all again many thanks for reading me this past-not-even-a-year-yet-that-I’ve-been-blogging. I thank YOU and YOU for all that you’ve shared , WOW..y’all have made my blogging experience here on W.P. just beautiful. Very. Thank you sincerely. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)
..I made a comment recently and I’m standing by it..50 is rushing up on me; and I’m in much anticipation for it. I’m ready! Aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be? What are my options if I’m not? …Well by now I’m sure y’all are ready to hear the actual comment I made! It for sure pushed the person’s buttons I was speaking to at the time; however, having said that..IF a person can’t say whats REALLY on their mind at almost 50 yrs of age(such as myself..) when in the heck IS the time to be able to keeeeeep it real?!? The way I see IT there is no time like the present..Hope y’all are ready for some real talk. This is for grown folks ONLY>>
…1st this BROADcast(yep, that’s a play on words that only those 50 & over will catch..) For allll those people who scared the beeeeejesus out of me about making 50..By telling me that one’s body starts literally falling apart with ailments/issues/organ’s failing/and caving in to gravity..Unless the day AFTER I make 50 yrs of age(July 5th..) this happens instantly; y’all lied. Lol, lol! It takes ALOT of consistent work, every single day(and I mean every day) but by the grace of a mighty good God; I’m SO thankful I don’t look like the stuff I’ve lived through at this ripe age. I’ve said it often; and I’ll say it one ‘mo time..Thank YOU God for blessing me. Now if the day after I make 50 yrs of age stuff starts dropping/sagging/and an organ fails; I’ll have to retract this comment. And I’m building up the cajones(figure of speech! cause I am all woman..) to post a picture of me here on WordPress; in my Bday dress after my Bday party. After all seeing is believing for some folks..Enough said & back to the topic at hand>>
....So last week I was having a conversation with someone I hardly knew & had just met..I talked to alot, and I mean ALOT, of people while I was in Phoenix last week..Anyways , somehow or other, we got on the topic of making 50 yrs of age..And for some reason or other; he says ” Well, I have a friend who does NOT know yet HIS purpose or direction, and he’s 50 yrs old already..” I stood there looking at him waiting for the and..And?!? There wasn’t an , and, folks that was IT..I’m not too sure I’m proud of what flew out of my mouth next. BUT , this is what I said(before I could censor it/sugar coat it..>>
In a very steady voice & with a straight face I said, ” WOW, well I feeeeel a person should know where they’re headed/what they’re doing/what their purpose IS/should be progressively moving forward by 50! I mean jeez 50 years old is a longgggg time to be LOST or clue less..” After I said that? He got that wide-eyed look of ” Did SHE just say that?” And he didn’t get time to counter the comment because class went back into session..Later I felt mayhaps that was a harsh comment. Ever make a comment & then later wonder IF you should’ve made it? But it got me to thinking..Isn’t 50 the age one should know it ALL? Or least know enough/have learned enough..IF not 50 yrs old exactly how OLD must one be to know enough to have a PHD in..Life? Does one ever get to that point in life? Or is this life journey just one long process of continual learning? 50 yrs of learning & living! qualifies a person as knowing ALOT, right?>>
the TRUTH is , or rather the truth as I know it, as a person on the doorstep of making 50 yrs old..I do NOT know it all. And honestly? It was a harsh comment..but in my heart of hearts I honestly feel a person should know what direction they’re headed or be in IT. As luck would have it(and I thank God & my lucky stars..) a couple of years before I was this close to 50 yrs old..It became to vividly CLEAR to me what my God-given path was; that I would’ve had to be blind not to have seen it. I could see it clear as day..It took following blind faith to get nearer to it though. And truth be told; I’m not all the way there yet. But I’m a heck-of-alot-closer than I’ve ever been to getting; there. My direction has been on fast-forward motion since then. Very fast..So fast its at times been over-whelming. And all positive..Having said that would I still stand by my comment; IF this wasn’t the case? Probably so..If it wasn’t the case I’d have felt I wasn’t where I was supposed to be by 50 yrs of age. Which leads me back to my first question. Aren’t we supposed to know it ALL by 50 yrs old? Or least enough to account for having lived 50 yrs?!? When I sat down & did some real soul-searching on the matter..AFTER, I’d spoken without thinking to the aforementioned person..Honestly? I don’t feel there is a SET amount of what we should know by 50 yrs of age. I think we know what we know due to the experiences of what we’ve lived through to this point..Some just know more than others. I think life is an ever-changing and evolving event..Like a very BIG stage. We’re all the actors. Our part isn’t determined by US..Its pre-determined. Our free will affords us the opportunity to get to the finish line; at different time periods. IF I could have a do-over of the earlier conversation I mentioned; that’s the response I wish I’d said. Unfortunately in this life journey we don’t always get do-overs though..Living IN the moment is something I attempt to do every, single day..I can only hope the person I said that to reads this & accepts my final & well – thought out answer. What I’ve learned at 50 yrs of age is …WE never stop learning. WE will never know it ALL. And I think learning that is one of the beautiful things about making it to 50 years of age! Now..I tell you one thing about 50 I’m still not used to ; yet. It’s as if overnight I changed from a Miss to a Ma’am. Lawd! When did that happen?? Lol, lolll Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere Berna (the 1 N only) P.S. I might also post a picture of my birthday cake after my party…I want ALL 50 candles on my cake..I don’t care IF it looks like a bonfire! I EARNED every one of those years..Truth be told my Mama probably won’t allow it. Lol, lol! I can just see her face if I even request 50 candles. The look on her face of “Do YOU want to burn the place down?”
For a little over a year now I’ve been planning my 50th birthday celebration..Mostly in my mind of so many different ideas & invite list & food list & party theme ..And of course what I’d like my party dress to look like! A woman’s 50th birthday party is special ; it marks something for me that mere words can’t properly describe. This will be the 1st time my birthday wasn’t just associated with the 4th of July..It will mark a major milestone in a very colorful life, indeed. I have arrived, finally! I’ve yet to decide IF I’ll wear long & flowing or short & sexy..all I know is it will be ultra feminine and I’ll own the “look”. That is as soon as I find the dress, OMG, I never thought finding a dress(the dress) would be this difficult..I’ve been looking for months & months & months..And now I’m less than 30 days away and still! haven’t found “the dress”. Far too many choices is the problem…>
As the actual party date nears..Plane flights are being booked & many friends & family are pitching in with GREAT ideas & suggestions & its all falling into place. This party IS going to be fabulous..Yet? I still don’t have “the dress!” It wasn’t even this difficult for me to find a wedding dress; I just knew the one when I saw it. I can’t tell y’all how many! dresses I’ve looked at over the past year..countless. None of them is calling out my name though. Should there be this level of pressure in selecting ONE dress? >>
I don’t want to lose sight of the things that truly matter in my hearts of hearts..Like the fact my sons are flying cross country to share this special time with me, yay, YAY, yayyy. Like the fact my Beloved parents will see their daughter celebrate a birthday she didn’t think she’d live to see. WOW God is good all the time; even times we don’t see that. Like the fact of all the awesome friends offering their services with love(my cake & a line UP of international foods & the oh-so-lovely invitations! I was gifted with..the WOW factor keeps rising & rising) I’m blown away by the outpouring of love; literally blown away. And yet? I still can NOT find “the dress”! I want to look like, well like..I want to look in the mirror in “the dress” and think ‘ Wowwww this is what 50 looks & feels like…’>>
As the date nears the butterflies in my tummy are going wild..I’m ready for 50. I’m ready to party, party, dance & dance & dance with all of my family & extended family of friends..I’m ready to jump with both feet into my 50s & the rest of my life. Life is good; really really GOOD. I know I’ll be full of awesome details to blog about afterwards too..And hopefully I’ll be able to report to y’all I wasn’t butt naked sans “the dress”! But the good news? If it follows suit with everything else this past couple years; “the dress” will be found just in time for the party. 28 days to go…
It feels so good to B..Loved! Coming at me from every angle of my life thus feeding me with desire to express lyrically..Challenging myself to stretch higher & higher in poetic verse. >>COMING SOON..Going to have to shelf this one for a minute, its not coming to me quick enough to write out. Good things can’t be rushed. Stay tuned<<
Based on the true story(& learned lessons) which is my Life..>>What those that know me personally, that also read my blog(hugs,hugs! , & more hugs) are privy to is that at almost 50 yrs of age; I moved cross country to my parents home. I no longer live there though & have nothing but fond, loving memories from the life-altering experience. What that same group of people knows is that …very shortly I’ll be drafting my very first book. A book I’ve planned on writing for the past-longer-than-I-care-to-mention-number-of-years..Haven’t yet dreamt of the title; it won’t actually be titled, The Long Way Home…and its foundation though based on life(specifically mine..) will be to serve as a guide for other young girls/women out there on their Life Journey..Not a self-help book; but a self-DO book. But anyways I digress for I was driving home yesterday & I got lost..Which led me to the idea of this post. For you see I’ve gotten quite used! to getting lost(with a GPS that I seem to keep on off mode) ; and I think its been the BEST way for me to never forget my way to wherever the heck I was headed in the first place..Heck of a run-on but I can’t break that line of thought UP..In short while some folks feel getting lost OR being lost is a bad thing; for me? It has brought me to where I needed to be; every single time. That might not make sense to y’all ; but it makes perfect sense to me..Question. Do you know what your center IS? Took me almost 50 yrs but I know, and part of me always knew, what mine was/IS..Lets see if I can dig a little deeper & explain..>
^Your “Center”= I’m going to borrow this definition from Wiki..its FAR better than even I can write out. Afterwards I’ll move forward with this post; just want to first make sure y’all are up-to-speed .
**Within each person, there is a “center” where “you”, the essence of who you are and consider yourself to be, is located. It is not a physical place, rather it is where the certainty of your confidence is. When you are distressed, it is good to contemplate this “essence place” in order to reconnect with the calm certainty that is your self.
So “finding your center” means to understand within yourself that the distressing circumstance will pass, you will learn from it, and you will remain yourself. This is important when events make you crazy. When your world falls apart, the “center” of you reassures you that the event will pass, but you are still the same person you have always been.
In religion, this “center” is where you and your God connect. In some religions, this center can be called the soul..it is the “connecting place” between this physical plane and the Eternal. It is a place of calm, a place within you that can give great strength and resolve when you take the time to “return to your roots.” It is the place of refreshing and renewal.
So if you are in emotional distress, “find your center” reminds you that you are stronger than you realize and that you need to reconnect with your God and your essential being.** Moving right along…>>
What I’ve learned is the more in tune with Self I get..the less I give a dang!(and I mean that in the most respectful way..) of what other folks think about what I do/what I say/how I act. Who are they to say what it takes for ME to live UP to my God given potential? To be all the me I can? Its my belief when we let other folks “define” who we are; we become who they! want us to be..Think about that for a minute & let it sink in. I’ll take this line of thought one step further @ When I fully realized what my “center” was/is; the less insecure I became. And? I didn’t fully come to this realization until I came full circle and went home almost 2 years ago.. I was lost (figuratively) until I found myself and my way home…>>
So, as I was saying when I first began this post..I got lost yesterday driving home. Returning from a bruncheon at adored friends house ..and! the funny thing is I’d just, and I mean just told them, oh nooo need to worry about me I know exactly how to get home. Plus, I told them I’ve got my GPS so if all else fails I’ll finally use it..I didn’t want them to worry. Anyways, I went skipping out to my car & bam! almost immediately took the wrong route. Went North on the freeway(they call them highways here; but I refuse! to give up all my Cali terms or way of life..) instead of South. And OMG I had to go for what seemed like forever for a turn-around spot..I’d known I was lost & headed the wrong way about 10,000 miles( exaggeration but it sure seemed like that far..) before I could double back to go the right way..What heck kind of State doesn’t make a turn -around spot sooner than..as far as I’d driven? *slapping forehead* Yep, I’m still getting used to living outside of Cali..As I was driving along admiring all the green , lush(now thats ONE thing this place has over Southern dry brown Cali..) I realized how many times I’d gotten lost since moving here. Then my mind began to wander how many times I’d been lost , period, in my life journey…Times I just felt like-IF-this-or-that-I’d-be-a-little -bit-happier …times that I either still wanted something smaller or bigger..times I wanted either more or less of whatever…times I wanted my loved ones who love me dearly to love me a little bit; deeper..times , when all the world looking IN figured I was totally happy, that I just felt I neeeeeeded something “else” to be totally happy..Yet, I didn’t know quite what was missing. As my eldest son shared with me about 3 years ago; I needed to find my “center”. At the time? I didn’t even know what the heck that meant..>>
Ever feel like something is missing from your life? Feel like a gerbil running around & around & around a wheel; on a daytoday grind of routineness? Wonder what the purpose of life is? I read on a W.P. blog the other day someone said ” Contrary to what religious folks think! ; there is no purposeful meaning to our existence or life. ” WOW , reading this now blows my hair back. Why? Because there is nothing further from the truth..How sad for anyone to feel like that. Wouldn’t their life then be as boring as that gerbil running circular laps around his wheel? Until I found my way home that is how I felt..alot. My oasis in the middle of that jacked UP barren desert? My 3 beautiful Black princes. Not only did they add meaning to my life; without them life just wouldn’t be the same. True blessings from God..Also my beloved & loving parents. When God handed out parents; he gave me the BEST. My right-hand man & co-parenting partner. Actually divorced but I swear we get along better than some of the married folks I hear about..and the list goes on & on..I’ll save some keystrokes by saying my center IS..My family/Mi familia/My extended family of friends. Its them that I think of & smile! on days that I just feel I need a bright light to look forward to or I’ll explode. They are my center. Loving them & being loved by them ..and knowing that their love IS unconditional(that I never , ever have to doubt it..) keeps me grounded. Feeling loved IS the number 1 best feeling on this planet. For me. And yep, it even outranks the feeling of an orgasm. Barely..but still outranks it…>>
These days? I feel alot like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz..Everything seems SO new. Experiences. Projects. Friendships..For I look at things in a totally different manner. I believe its called , Appreciation. I no longer take things for granted. Not only that I’m quite verbal about letting the folks that I appreciate them; aware that I appreciate them. For far too many years I ASSumed folks knew how much I loved, adored, appreciated & even needed them in my life..and while actions speak volumes telling someone these things doesn’t hurt either. I feel a neeeed to express myself these days. In every/any form possible. I say all of this to say this. I am home. Not literally anymore because I’m in my own place now once again. Yep, I’m all grown UP now again. Lol, lol! But I am at home within myself. At long last & finally. And if its taking U a long way to get home? Don’t lose hope for you can get there..if you wish to. The first step will be the hardest step to take. Your feet may feel like they’re stuck in cement..but lift one after the other to step by step & day by day striving to get home. Striving to reach your Center. Striving to BE purposeful and to get the full meaning out of Life. Life might be short; but my days are long & full..Hope yours are also. Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)
Bookmarking this spot..this is a Self challenge to attempt to express where I’m at, in the here & now, this is the best word I can use to describe it…Never been here before yet its a feeling SO beautiful; I only wish I could bottle it up to save some for all tomorrows & share it with all of my loved ones, extended family of friends & y’all..Hopefully before weekends’ end I’ll have penned it..No guarantees on that , for I’ve learned not to rush creativity. Just letting it flow freely..
**Surreality**As defined or re-defined by lil ole me= A state of being in a place ~N~ time in which reality is met full-ON by things I prayed for , dreamt of, wished for!, dared to reach for and most certainly worked hard for… A state of constant resisting pinching myself to check if I’m really awake. A state of dealing even with “crisis” with a brand-new grace-that-isn’t-quite-perfect-but-a-major-improvement-of-the-way-I-used-to-overstress-over-crisis. A state of not being able to complain about a thing! & more often than not. ** Hoping I can get lost in the translation as I mark this place in time poetically..
~~~God brought me out of darkness into rays of sunshine SO bright I have to blink
And walking shakily/steadily! with quickness of pace further away from the brink
Here I stand
Happy! even sans a man
Exhaling Inhaling deeply Taking a moment to catch my breath..
Lacing together all the pieces , the lovely remnants & memories of my life
Please don’t dare wake me if I’m traipsing while asleep
I pray! the Lord my soul to keep
Always in His hands
Here I stand
Trying not to get overwhelmed by the overwhelmingness of it all
Refusing to back up /can’t go back/won’t look back/catch me if I ..
Exhaling Inhaling deeply Taking a moment to catch my breath..
Perfect ,ever so perfect, in my complete & utter imperfection
Waiting patiently, sort of… on my very last Love connection
The final step towards the embrace that will hold me for life
Oh! how I yearn to once again be my ‘the 1’s’ coveted wife
He is close, so close I just feeeel it deep down in my bones
Here I stand
Inhaling all that is good /feeling just like I thought it would except..
Flanked by my beloved parents whose adoring love lifted me UP
Loved all the hurts & pain away
I’m finally having my say
Does life get much better than it is today?
Please, please don’t wake me if I’m traipsing while asleep
I pray! my soul always my Lord to keep
Not afraid anymore ..there is nothing to fear.. ‘cept living UP to my potential
Still a ways 2 GO
Learning along the way, loving! all in my path. Main lesson? GOD is essential
Here I stand
Smiling even when I feel pain ,knowing, that too will pass
One has to know pain to truly appreciate joy in this life
I swear I can see the light
This time and place seems so surreal
My excitement I can’t hardly conceal
Lusting for life and all that it brings
Most days my heart is full..I just feel like singing!
Here I stand
Exhaling Inhaling deeply Taking a moment to catch my breath..
Breathing in my surreality~~~
I wrote on this topic a couple years back on a site that I was a group moderator..Time to pull it off the shelf and give it new life..I’ve got more friends than I can count on my fingers & toes(several times..) ; so this won’t be about NOT having friends. Quite the opposite -N- more than likely not what you expect…
Background: I’ve never been the type of person to dislike someone; based on another’s lack of a recommendation of someone. I’m a hands-on being in most everything I do or am involved IN. Meaning simply I learn & experience by doing things/experiencing myself…It is my way. I don’t believe in ASSociating folks with who they associate with either. Personally, I’ve lived such a colorful life; and I know we can have an array of friends with different /unique personalities and lifestyles. I’ve been known to say my friends can have other friends; and I’m SO cool with that! Never have I been one, not even back in grade school when others were tripping on such things..to feel envy cause a friend spent time with other..friends. Now that I’ve laid that background down; allow me to dig a bit deeper>
“In the FIRST half of life WE are pre-occupied with establishing our identity-climbing/achieving/performing. BUT those concerns will not serve us as we grow older and begin to embark on a further journey..One that involves challenges, mistakes , broader horizons, and necessary suffering that actually SHOCKS us out of our prior comfort zone. Eventually we need to SEE ourselves in a different and more life-GIVING way. This message of “falling down”..is in fact moving UPward..is the most RESISTED and counterintuitive of messages in the world’s religions, including and most especially Christianity”> I hope anyone reading this lets those words sink in for a minute..This direct quote comes from a book I read a while back called ,”Falling Upward” by Richard Rohr. Prior to even reading the book I’d adopted this mode of thinking. I believe in and am living this out loud..a very good friend , that I highly respect, recommended I read the book. How did she know I’d benefit from reading the book? Did she know this was the phase of life I was in? How do people we “connect” with really SEE us? Do our friends view us as we ARE? Do they hear what we are saying , even when we do not say a WORD?
I’ve always had a lot of friends..There are NOT many people I encounter that I can’t find some “commonallity ” with. I can walk into a ROOM of strangers; and within minutes be totally engaged in a conversation. It is my way..folks just seem to be comfy talking to me. A friend of mine once said it is as IF you’ve got a sign on your forehead that says”Talk to ME” Whether I’m in a grocery store, pumping gas, video store(they used to exist..), the movies, the park, work , church, the Mall..I love, really dig! PEOPLE. I adore the many different things about us; that link us together. And yet, I realize that most of the time people only SHOW you a small fraction of who they are! My question that just begs to be asked is..WHY? Fear mayhaps of not being accepted? Not being interesting enough? Could that possibly be why in a social setting folks drink to engage? Ever heard the saying “She/He is the life of the party”? I am comfy being that in my OWN skin. Totally 100% sober..ALL the time. I recently told someone, this is ME..I won’t apologize for who I am. Nor will I CHANGE who I am to conform to what you want me to be…I think often times people want to BELONG so badly; they try to change themselves to fit IN..Shouldn’t it be the opposite though ? IF we are meant to fit; shouldn’t it be that we’ve revealed(to the max of our abilities) who we truly are? Otherwise when the real us or YOU does slip out(and this always happens..) ; there is a sense of disappointment or the connection will fall apart…
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO AFRAID OF SAYING WHAT THEY REALLY FEEL? AFRAID OF HURTING PEOPLE’S FEELINGS..WHEN , HONESTLY, I FIND IT QUITE FAKE! TO LIE TO SOMEONE JUST TO NOT HURT THEM…That is the phase of life I’m in and quite UNapologetically. I will not fake who I am nor what I want to say; to make anyone feel better about themselves. Why should we? Nor do I think anyone else should…I’m not saying purposely hurt people’s feelings..That simply isn’t in my heart to do that. What I’m saying is being anything other than TRUE to one’s self; is FAKE. And I don’t have time for fakeness, B.S.!, or drama. I make that very clear from jump street. I don’t bring it nor do I accept it. And those that I call friends know this ; and they’re REAL also. Like -minded folks hang together & are drawn 2gether..like birds of a feather>
Real Talk..Until recently I’d not met but 1 person in my life; that I just couldn’t find much common ground with. Now I’ve met TWO..in almost 50 yrs of age..and thats saying alot…(only 2!) And there aren’t many people , even folks who just don’t smile alot(which i DO ), that I just don’t care to be AROUND..But this recently happened to me & though it hurt me to step off from them(because I’m a Christian) ; it got to a point that my spirit! felt awful in their company. And I listen to my inner-being, my spirit, more than I listen to any living soul on this planet. Never has my spirit led me wrong, EVER, ..if one can’t be true to themselves..they can fall for anything. Having said all of that “the experience” of having met this person taught me a valuable lesson..WE have to know when to let go of things including people in our lives. It isn’t an easy thing to do sometimes; but it IS essential . Or that is the way I see IT>
When I call someone a friend…That is more than a saying to me. I think the term “friend” is used loosely these days. Friend a person on FB…as IF one can read a person without seeing them. I’m an intuitive person by nature; I feel a person NOT just by “what” they say; but their body language also. My belief is say what you mean & mean what you say. It is what I practice and I don’t accept anything less from those I share time & space with. Actually, truthfully!, IF I feel a person’s actions aren’t in line with what they SAY, they’d not be someone I call friend. Hope that makes as much sense to ya’ll..as it does to me. With true friends we’re never alone in ANY situation. Real talk for real. But also it takes BEing a friend; to have friends. Its a 2 way street. In my heart of hearts every stranger I encounter; could be a potential new friend! That is how easy I’ve had it with getting to know people…and I love IT. I’m a people-loving social butterfly. IF we were meant to survive alone, exist alone!, we’d have been created on islands by ourselves. Or so I believe. Less time is wasted though if we just have the courage; to be who we ARE. Not just a fraction of a person…Don’t sell yourself short. A VERY good friend of mine(My Cali Black Prince) taught me that..The reason why? How do we know the part of US we aren’t revealing; is what another person needs to connect with? >
Every day is a brand NEW start..I leap! literally (gives me a head-rush sometimes but I do…) out of bed feeling that. New people to meet! New people to talk & connect with! New things to learn! New parts of our life experience to share..Life is enriched by our loved ones, our FRIENDS, and our significant others. Make it a beautiful day. I know I will. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)
>Really good friend of mine had a novel idea he was serious about maintaining ..Still does to this day..At the time I didn’t feel it was something I needed to partake in; I was in a different space & time in my life journey than he was..But now, things are different as is my outlook on friendship. I don’t take the word lightly. Nor do I take lightly how I treat my friends; I treat them as I want to be treated. Sounds simple enough , right? Stay tuned because it gets much better from here…And yep, I’m on 1. If you don’t know what that means; google it…
**Well, its Saturday night and I got several phone calls from friends 2day..So very appropriate for this topic, right? And they said “WHY did you leave us on a cliff-hanger since last night????! wth?” Lol, first of all thats a first! so sorry extracurricular activities got in the way(of my finishing this post)..with my B.F.F.(how perfect for this topic also) and mad love to ya’ll for showing me love by calling. Stroked my ego for a brief moment(don’t we all need that from timetotime?) so to kick off this topic I dug UP the supreme friend song(oldskool! when music was still real) ..Before I jump knee deep & waist high into this just know this; when I call you a friend its for LIFE. Let me see if I can do my utmost to explain…Ready for me? I sure hope so cause here I go head first>
Mayhaps I should define friends 1st. From my viewpoint a friend IS: Someone who knows U through & through; & still digs you totally! A friend is someone who can hang out with U talking about nothing/doing nothing/and expects nothing in return! A friend is someone who has your back while you’re 2gether & even more so when you’re apart. A friend is someone who will let U wake them up with a call in the middle of the night; because U can’t sleep.(waving BigJack and many thanks U’s for this…) A friend is someone who loves U even over a lifetime spent 3,500 or more miles apart(mad LOVE Lizzard my forever B.F.F. I loves ya!) A friend is someone who doesn’t find a cazillion things to do when your moving day rolls around(I’ll be calling ya’ll soon for this, lol) A friend is someone whose true colors are as vibrant and beautiful as a rainbow…
IF one’s monetary worth were(and I believe it is…) measured by the type of friends they have..then I am RICH. My life simply wouldn’t be the same without the many friends I’m fortunate/blessed/dang lucky! call me their friend..Likewise IF I call you my friend its for life..My circle of friends is large indeed(from coast 2 coast & beyond..) and many in my circle I also consider extended family. I don’t have a good poker face(I show all my emotions ) nor do I fake the funk well at all..just not part of my biological make-up. IF I spend time with U /break bread with U/do things for U without provocation just because I think you’ll enjoy it or need it, or whatever; then I consider you my friend. My friendship with my B.F.F. has lasted over 25 years! WOW..it has endured many miles apart/marriages/breakups/death of loved ones/lifes’ disappointments/lifes’ joys, joys!/laughter/LOVE/LOVE/and has transcended color lines and racial differences. We simply look at each other as sisters from another mother..There is comfort in knowing someone that long; who knows where you’ve been/where you’re at now/where you aspire to be. Somehow we can go for long periods without talking or seeing one another; yet pick up right where we left off. Its been an awesome ride & I look forward to many more years now that we finally! live on the same coast in the same city. WOW..life is full of beautiful suprises and you’re one of them Sis. I love YOU always..
There are several instances in my life that made me sincerely cognizant of the true importance of friends. One was when my then-fiance showed me a report card he had for friends to grade him as a friend. Another instance was when a friend of mine I’d lost contact with; found me after looking for me for 17yrs. I was wow’ed by that, alot, and humbled…things I’d taken for granted others considered like gold. Friendship. It changed my entire perspective on friendship. Not that I hadn’t always treated my friends very well; I just didn’t really realize till then how much it could also be worth to someone else..my friendship.
Which brings me to the punch line. I think we’ve all faced evaluations in the course of our careers. Usually once a year, right? Or moreso if promoted…When is the last time you asked your friend(s) to evaluate you as a friend? Isn’t the best way to improve anything to grade it/tweak it/work on flaws. How does one know if they’re the best friend they could possibly be? I stand guilty as charged(my hand raised high); I’ve not asked any of my friends lately IF there is room for improvement…I just ASSume I’m the best friend to them I could possibly be. I certainly feel I give it my all…but is that good enough if I don’t meet each friend’s needs. What IF they need more from me than I’m giving? Or one step further what IF theres more I’m capable of doing as a friend; that I don’t realize I could be doing…does it matter? Shouldn’t we work to maintain & improve friendships ; same as we do our love relationships? I didn’t used to think so backintheday when I hadn’t lived as much of life as I have now…things are different now. I no longer take life or any of my relationships for granted. I appreciate each and every one of my friends; and I want them to know & feel that.
In a perfect world all friendships /relationships; would not require stroking or maintenance. They’d just be as effortless as breathing…however even with love relationships we know this isn’t the case. And honestly I enjoy giving /sharing/vibing with my friends. My word IS my bond; and I try hard to keep it. Likewise I’m not drawn to folks who aren’t like minded in that regard..so with me you’ve got to mean what you say & say what you mean. There are a ton of questions I could write to create a report card for friends right here & now; but I won’t. Why not? Because I think it would be more worthwhile for you & me; to create our own report cards…Based on our own unique set of friends. Mine will be more verbal for my friends anyways; they know I love to talk, alot . lol! But even if ya’ll don’t do a report card; if nothing else, hopefully my words have made you think about how special your friends are for a minute. When is the last time you told them how much they mean to you? Everyone needs to know they’re appreciated..And for my fabulous friends?!? YOU ARE SPECIAL & I’M THANKFUL YOU’RE PART OF MY LIFE, hugs!
As much as the foundation of my BEing rests on emotions(& sensitivity); I’m still quite an analytical person. Lately this topic has been heavy on my mind and I’ve been tossing it around even in my sleep. Did ya’ll know it is possible to have valid thoughts, that we remember when we wake, in our sleep? Usually it is those thoughts that are so very important to us; that we save them until we have no other distractions. While we’re sleeping…
Mayhaps this has come to my mind at a time; when if in a love relationship I’d be having IT. While I’m sleeping..Or quite possibly because my mind is justifying why the “wait” for it; is indeed worth it. Isn’t it? Our biological primal urge to have sex is one of the strongest instincts we possess. Did ya’ll know that? Google it if you don’t believe me..Nonetheless in my life journey I’ve come to believe the following: Sex without feelings is a worthless waste of time. (which is probably why I’ve never had it..) Let me take this one step further. Making love is NOT the same as having sex. At all. And an emotional love (=emotional bond) can trump making love..Can’t it?
SEX is far more than just an exchange of bodily fluids and a calisthenic marathon; YET it ranks far less than making love. But the cherry on top(no pun intended) is emotional sex..also known as emotional love or bond. < Or should I say this is the way I see IT>
Emotional sex= Anyone heard of the term “love chemicals” that can be produced by the brain? Research has shown that the effect of “love chemicals” is 2fold: they’re released in response to your “friend” plus they bond you to him/her. Emotional sex stems from a friendship that escalates(usually without the parties being aware its happening ..) into something that feels as “real” as romantic love. Even thinking about the person can release hormones and “love chemicals’ from the brain. Thus any contact with the person can become as potent as a drug addiction. Because women produce higher amounts of oxyctocin(the bonding hormone ) ; the feeling of having met a soul-mate connection can be greatly enhanced. But I’ve got to add to this that woman’s intuition is also VERY strong; so whose to say she truly hasn’t met a soul-mate in such instances? I’m of the belief we can have more than one possible soul-mate on the planet..
Making love is an act in which a sacred sense , close to spiritual , can be experienced in every gesture, every sensory perception and every , single action. The very act is like food to a love relationship and is mandatory that feeds and cultivates it; so it can flourish. It is the highest form of intimacy created and especially designed by God..The merging of two people in this special act of love; elevates the relationship to a deeper consciousness of love. Making love in a sense is a type of worship, honoring and celebrating the divine within us. While experiencing pleasure beyond measure; we’re lifted to a connection not only physical..but also emotional and spiritual.
Sex IS typically not thought of as a biological need; but it is. Reason it isn’t viewed as one is because it can fulfill physical & mental needs. But it is my belief that it IS necessary for the generation & maintenance of good health. It is better than going to the gym; for it works every, single muscle in your body..It is a primal urge that can be physically fought off; but can still invoke thoughts about it many, many times a day. Without provocation and quite involuntary at times. We’ve all heard about the studies done on how many times a day a man thinks about sex..I personally think women think about it even more. But don’t think it is politically correct to admit..
Having said all of the above I’ve got to add an important footnote: This isn’t the 60s anymore! Unprotected sex can cause more than a pregnancy these days; it can literally kill. When a person has sex with someone these days; you’re in essence trusting them with your life. At any age protected sex should be a given..but what about protecting one’s heart from hurt? Is it possible for women to have sex without love? Is it really possible for the new friends-with-benefits arrangement; to work without someone catching feelings? Isn’t it well known women associate sex with feelings? But don’t men also? Yes, they do…Bottom line is one has to trust the person you’re linking up with physically. And though a primal necessary biological need; I feel God created man/woman with feelings & emotions for a reason. Different from any other mammal in that sense..so that we could fall in love! Ultimate love relationship I believe combines an emotional love with making love=being in love. It doesn’t get much better than that..not on earth anyway. Until I write /read ya’ll again stay uplifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one & only)
Did you know what YOU think; is what YOU attract? Let that sink in for a minute..and take this thought with you also. @ ““The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change her/his future by merely changing his attitude.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
**Remember all the passion, drive, ambition, goals, DREAMS ya’ll had when leaving the “nest”? That all encompassing feeling of thinking , I can DO it all and I know it all! ; and I’m going to do this, and travel there! , etc etc, yada yada..And then life happened. Bills, marriage, more bills, house with a picket fence, more bills!, children, more bills, children’s education, more BILLS..and in between off to work we go….Its all too easy to get SO caught up in co-raising children and holding down a marriage/love relationship plus taking care of the household; to forget one’s OWN dreams. Or least it was for moi(me) My dreams took a major back seat…by design. For once I became a Mother; it became my full time job. And the most important JOB that I’ll ever have..When I became an empty-nester; I honestly didn’t know how to handle IT. It didn’t come easy to me as many would think it should..It was traumatic. Thoughts of “What do I do NOW?” “OMG my sons don’t neeeeed me anymore” etc…Suddenly it seemed as if my days lasted forever. I didn’t know what to DO with all the extra time. I had forgotten my dreams. And I was totally clueless how to “desire” my old passions/dreams/goals as I once had. But now, thanks to a mighty GOD, and an extremely loving family/friends; I can remember my dreams. And daily I’m working on attaining them one by one. I dream BIG and I dream in living COLOR>
I think one of the main keys to staying progressive IS; staying positive! We have to keep ourselves UPlifted. We have to believe in ourselves before anyone else will. And we have to know we can achieve ANYthing we desire. IF we can dream it; we can do IT. Or least that is the way I see it..and I’m living it. I’ve come to believe that nothing easily gained is worth it. Nada..I’m a worker bee..And if you spend time around me; I’ll put you to work also. Nothing changes; until something changes..and that means keeping it moving. Was Rome built in a day? Absolutely not..but it took a TON of folks to build Rome UP. And I’m willing to bet it began with a dream that it could happen..
The Laws of Cause & Effect are strong in our lives..Once we truly realize that; any goal can be accomplished. Are you at cause so you give yourself the power to make the choice about how you think, feel and act and you create the life you want or are you at the effect of everything life throws at you so you see everything as negative and are always looking for something or someone to blame for your what happens to you in life? Let that sink in for a minute. And being honest with self in answering that helps..
And last, but certainly not least..HELP someone else reach their dream while you’re striving towards yours. Lending a helping hand to others , for me, has brought me joy..it just feels good! And, believe it or not, when you least expect it..it comes back tenfold. Amazing how that works out
Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)
And wrapping UP the last spot on my list of New Year promises to myself..I’ve saved the best for last. N that is the truth regarding this resolution!@the BEST will B my last. I’ll truly enjoy writing on this topic. Write ya’lll later on this evening..Hang tight because it will B worth the wait as R all good things~I’m finally back! And if it seems as if my words begin to seem like they’ve got a poetic flow in this piece…its because I’m a poet. It comes naturally. So here goes my flow of thoughts/might at times involve run on sentences/its because fast as I type my fingers may not always keep up with the freeflow of my thoughts/especially regarding this topic/unrestrained/uninterrupted/thoughts/emotions/from my spirit N heart
Anyone who knows me or has had a conversation with me in the last 6 months or so already knows what my final reSOLUTION is..Probably should’ve listed it as #1..Yet, seems appropriate somehow for it to be last in this segment. First N last positions in anything hold their own level of importance. However, my last resolution, vow to MYself is to finally! let go/let GOD/and allow myself to fall IN love. For one final time. 2 last the rest of my life…seem dramatic? Not really. Because I’m so very serious…
I’ve got a feeling felt in every single bone in my body that I’m close, SO close, to being discovered by my ONE, the one that God created to love me and only lil ole ME. He’ll love unconditionally and take me as i AM. He won’t try to change me yet he’ll deeeeeply appreciate all that i AM..alll that I’ve lived through, survived!, and he’ll realize I’ve been preparing MYself for him my entire lifetime. He’ll realize that I’ve saved the best of me for HIM. He’ll be ready to collect his reward, his own little piece of paradise, that he has waited for his entire lifetime. He’ll be the kind of brother who is ALPHA yet has enough sensitivity in his soul to recognize the sensitive soul that is ME. He’ll be the type of MAN who does romantic gestures like profess his love for me in one of my fave places on earth , in his own handwriting in the sand..on the beach..any beautiful beach! I’m born under a water sign and I love all things near the water.
I figure my spirit will recognize him upon the very first sighting! Which is why I know though I’ve alot , alot!, of temptation in my path recently, alot!, that I’ve not yet laid eyes on him. Nor he upon me..He’ll love to hold hands and appreciate my need to touch to bond. He’ll enjoy and need that also.
I know in my heart of hearts love, real love!, is on the way..I’m ready, willing N able to give the same type of love that I crave . Its taken me a long time to realize, recognize my own worth..so nothing less will DO. Its time. Past time. The time is right. All good things come in time and this year I feel is MINE, finally.
We’ll do all things together and yet! also be free enough in our love to do our own thing individually..hope that makes as much sense to ya’ll as it makes to me. And the really even better gooood news?? Is when this happens I’m going to come running right back here and blog all about IT. Till then I’ll leave this topic alone for a bit and just continue to stay as busy as I’ve been. In the meantime? Love, love!, LOVE and love some more..love isn’t just for lovers. We can love GOD , ourselves, our parents, our children, our friends, our coworkers , even strangers…for we never know who is an angel sent straight into our path from GOD. Well folks thats my last promise to myself for the upcoming year. I’ve got a feeeeeling it is going to be a fabulous year. 2013! woooo hooooo Read ya’ll/write 4 ya’ll 2morrow. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 N only)
~~IT’S THE SIMPLE THINGS
WHEN THINKING OF WHAT MATTERS TO ME MOST
MY MATERIAL “THANGS” DON’T EVEN COME CLOSE
THANKFUL EACH N EVERY MORNING I OPEN MY EYES
EAGERLY I RUN OUTSIDE TO WATCH THE SUNRISE!
NATURES’ WONDERS..ONE OF GOD’S SWEETEST GIFTS
DOESN’T COST A SINGLE DIME
STOPPING 2 SMELL THE ROSES IS PART OF MY DAILY GRIND
THOSE LITTLE PLEASURES THAT EXCITE ME TILL I’M ON FULL
HAS TAUGHT ME 2 NOT SWEAT SMALL STUFF~NO TIME 4 BULL
A DAILY CALL FROM MY MOMMA IS A PURE DELIGHT
OR DADDY BUZZING ME..
JUST 2 MAKE SURE MY HEADS’ STILL SCREWED ON TIGHT
USED TO TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED
BEFORE MY FEET WERE FIRMLY PLANTED
NOW HIGH ON MY LIST OF ADORATIONS
R MY SONS MANY “TEXT” ABBREVIATIONS..
“U’RE ON MY MIND MOMS N I LUV U”
CAN QUICKLY FLIP MY MOOD WHEN I’M BLUE
OH ITS THE SIMPLEST OF THINGS
THAT MY PUREST JOY CLINGS
FEELING SO HECKOFA AWESOME IN MY OWN SKIN
KNOW XACTLY WHERE I’M HEADED N WHERE I’VE BEEN
AS EACH NEW DAY IS BORN COMES A NEW OPPORTUNITY
TO SHARE LOVE N LAUGHTER~WHILST PROMOTING UNITY
*PRICELESS AND IRREPLACEABLE THINGS THAT MONEY CAN’T BUY*~~An Original Berna Creation , Jan 2010
I recently, very, had a conversation with someone N I said.” I AM a complex, multidimensional person. I AM a person who is a compilation of ALL that I’ve been thru/experienced since birth till now N survived. Years back I thought I wouldn’t live to see 50 yrs of age and yet! here I AM knocking on the door of 50 yrs of age. Having lived thru some things the average person may not have survived. N yet! I think I AM an average person trying to do extraordinary things. I feeeel I AM different & uniquely created to be ME” And their response was, “But is that good way 2 describe yourself to someone who doesn’t yet fully know you?” My response. “I think it is, because it is makes UP who I am. And it is the TRUTH as I see it because I know MYself”.. I mean sure it would have “sounded” better to say I’m a simple person with simple needs; or would it?? Personally? I don’t know that I care to spend much time around people who are simply “simple”. And yet I guess it would depend on what ones’ definition of simple IS. After all I’ve lived long enough to discover that as individuals we can often times have different descriptions of things. Sometimes altering definitions to our own circumstance or situation. Yep, I’m having some deep thoughts this morning and trying to work through it doing what I love best..writing it out. So please bear with what I’m almost certain will be a ton of run-on sentences. Understand that is how quickly my thoughts are flowing, in every way possibly imagined, and I’m just thankful I can type @ 90 wpm to keep UP with my…..thoughts. So anywayz as I sat to write at my usual Odark thirty time frame I found myself yearning for what I said I’d work on getting to a couple years ago. Simple things. I dug up this poem I wrote over 2 years ago to prove to myself I had indeed come to a time N place in life that I yearned to appreciate , Simple Things. I want to get back 2 that and have promised MYself this morning that I’d take a minute to reflect on this week N the simply beautiful things I’m thankful for.
And so earlier this week I took “time” to call my EXmominlaw on her birthday. A woman who has meant & does mean so much 2 me. She stills calls me daughter and I still call her my 2nd Momma….I made sure I called her during my lunch break so it would be early her time. California time. I did not want a good part of the day , her day!, to go by without personally wishing her a happy Bday. Simple things like that matter 2 me..the little things that say I care! I could’ve sent a card. Or a gift card. Or flowers. But I wanted to actually hear her voice. In a world in which I feel has become less N less personalized I still strive to give personal parts of me to loved ones. And it is what I yearn for in return. But anywayz I called her. Her joy in me calling on HER bday was tangible. I could feeeeel and hear it thru the phone. It was warm! It was sincere. IT was genuine. And I let her talk..I was straining to hear her as I dodged people in a crowded Mall frantically trying to get to the food court because I was starving! Yet, there both of us were. Connected, thank God, by a cell phone connection that I thanked my lucky stars didn’t disconnect. Gotta love Verizon! As I listened to this woman talk who I’m no longer connected to legally ..Who has known me and I her for over 23 yrs..A woman who tho I’m no longer with her son LOVES/ADORES me I realized how much of a blessing that IS. For here is a person who has seen me grow N grow, watched my sons grow N grow, and herself grown N grown…and the love is sooooo strong it can be felt thru a cell phone connection. It warmed my day to warm her day! 2 spend TIME with her even tho there were a ton of people around me in that Mall and I struggled to hear her. We both gained a mutual satisfaction from that “simple” phone call. And yet when I called I was just calling to make sure I gave her what she deserves. A personal phone call instead of an ecard/card/flowers/gift card/plant/or expensive gift sent in the mail. I gave her something far more priceless and gained from it MYself. WOW. To give a little bit of oneself totally for another can result in a warm, fuzzy feeeeeeling for the giver. Go figure! And so even though I recently find MYself pondering if and when I’ll truly have TIME to invest in a lifemate that I so desire should he come crashing suddenly into my world…I think in working thru those thoughts as I, write, that someway somehow! I’ll find the time..I want to leave U and myself with that final thought on this topic. Lets find the TIME 2day to simply spend time with those we love and care about. Period. Til I write again stay UPlifted N always remember 2 count your blessings 2day N everyday. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one n only)
First & foremost sending out sincere wishes 2 my family/mi familia/coworkers/friends/extended family of friends a beautiful, loving, relaxing, fun, & BLESSED Thanksgiving! Woke UP as usual @ O’dark thirty(a Bernaism ..) feeling full of energy, excited, and eager to start the day..As I’ve stated before each N every day has become for me a totally new adventure..I feel like I’m a child on Christmas morning and leap! out the bed ready to run down the stairs to unwrap presents..Remember those days ya’ll? Blessed I am with an excellent memory I can still remember that FAR back…I feel compelled to share what I’m about to say for 2 reasons: 1. To give thanks to my God , again, in a public forum thereby adding to the sincerity of my gratitude 2. To hopefully encourage someone else to STOP for a moment and count their blessings as well.
The truly ironic thing about this is that just a mere 4 years ago..I’d not have stopped to count my blessings nor even recognized my blessings. Which in-of-itself means you can at this very moment begin to “change” so that you can also “see” your blessings N give thanks. What better day to begin than on this day of Thanksgiving? Anywayz fast forwarding to the message I’d like to share..a very BIG blessing that recently happened in my life. I tell ya’ll when God’s hand is IN a situation in our lives he does things in a BIG way. And it is my belief that we/one must acknowledge/give God his props/and be N act thankful. Period. Exclamation point.
About 3.5 months ago I was BLESSED with a JOB that I not only love..but I’ll go as far as to say it is the BEST career opportunity I’ve ever had. Hands down..and I’ve held/had some really good jobs ya’ll. But this one stands at the #1 spot. Many of ya’ll out there know people who actually LOVE what they do from 8 -5?? If a poll was taken right now how many would hold their hand UP? I’m not talking about just loving the salary/benefits. I’m not talking about just loving working in a beautiful environment. Nor am I talking about loving vibing with or working well with coworkers. What I’m talking about is LOVING every single aspect of what one does as a means of self-support for 40 hours a week. What I honestly love the most about my job is knowing without a shred of doubt that what I “do” every day at work..is helping to improve clients lives in a positive/progressive manner. I never even knew how much that meant to me..until I was BLESSED ..with this position. And the ironic part about it all? I knew nothing of the position when I applied online. Nor did my church sister who mentioned to me I might want to check out the organization’s website for “possible” openings. So I did. And on the very same day I went online at approx 2 pm…the position was closing at 5 pm! Wowww. So anywayz I submitted my resume & filled out the online application. For a position I knew nothing about! Real talk folks…For an organization I “thought” I knew what it stood for(I’ve since learned it stands for FAR more than I knew prior) Fast forwarding…out of alot of applicants there was a final top 3. I was the runner UP out of the 3. Now I never aspire to be anything but number ONE..but this time it paid off for me being #2. For reasons unbeknownst(not a Bernasim but love being able to use this word!) to me after being chosen. And after showing interest in being chosen. #1 choice all of a sudden poof! just didn’t come through. WOW. After I’d been told I didn’t have the position all of a sudden I was called and asked if I’d come in to begin the screening process. (which consisted of a full background check, full Lifescan & criminal history check,drug testing) Well my hair was blown back! I’d just licked my wounds over not being #1 and not being chosen…So of course I said I’d love to come in and do that! And I kid you not I almost ran from place to place over a span of 3 hrs to get it all done quickly as possible . And here I sit 3.5 months later in a position I didn’t think I had & a position that I wasn’t the #1 pick for..but that I now feel I was THE perfect choice for. Wowwww.
This is just one example of things happening in my life lately in which I’ve learned that..When something is for YOU it will happen. Regardless of how much it looks like it..won’t. It will! Now some out there might say it just happened to work out for me…But I don’t believe that! I believeeeee God’s hand was in it. Period. Exclamation point. And though its already been near 4 months I am STILL giving thanks N props to my God. I think that is important. Or least it is in my world these dayz..So on this Thanksgiving Day I want to say one ‘mo time. THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING ME WITH MY JOB! And also thank you for the other many blessings in my life now and for allll the times that I did not give you the glory. Because now that I “see” with clarity with my spirit instead of trusting only what my eyes see it has changed my entire walk. For now every day I feeeeeel like I’m walking on air. And yet I am still staying grounded…
If I may ask all of ya’ll to STOP for a moment today. Try to find a quiet place in the house. Close your eyes. Speak with your heart/spirit and call upon the Holy Spirit. Conjure UP thoughts of allll the loved one in your life, allll the friends who grace your life with gooooodness & positive words, alll the coworkers who help you to feel welcome and/or to do your job better, allll the people you encounter while handling business affairs or shopping that offer customer service(rare these days but it still exists..) , allll the strangers who give off such a good vibe when you meet them they become instant dear friends/confidants..Just take a moment 2 recognize, acknowledge that God brought them into your world and then..Give God the glory and the sincere THANK YOU that is deserved.
Again ya’ll have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family/friends..N remember to count your blessings 2day and every, single day. Sincerely, Berna(the 1 N only)