>>Talking about having cancer doesn’t get easier …One just gets used to it .>>
Once I was able to wrap my brain around being diagnosed with cancer ; I felt an irresistible urge to share my journey with my family and closest friends .
My main hope in sharing was to provide cancer prevention tips to my loved ones & collect insight from others as well . Also I’ve discovered the more I talk (& learn ) about cancer , the less scary the topic is for me to cope with . After all hearing the words @You’ve got cancer ; is something the majority of us fear ‼️
Any tips you’d care to share with others for coping with having cancer ?
*Let’s rap !
Quite often pondering over deep questions can help us search inside for our own answers and meanings..Thought I’d drop this question to see how y’all weigh in..Of course , as usual, this was inspired by an actual conversation! How can people believe in truths without evidence? Later, I’ll add my 2 cents worth..
IF you had 10 minutes to talk alone with President Barack Obama what would you talk about?? Do you think you’d be at a loss for words(nervous..) or able to free flow?
Woke up at O’dark thirty(too early to even mention the time..) with this thought lingering in my mind..Probably a left over from whatever I’d been dreaming about..So anywho, that is the question of the day..IF you had the option to get a glimpse of 10 years into the future, would you? Wouldn’t it be great to get a look-see ahead?? Think of the things we could do differently IF that was the case! I’ll hold my other thoughts until tonight .. Should make for some really interesting conversations..
Has great conversation become a thing of the past? Remember backintheday when it was all we had? Not snippets of conversation that resemble hashtags either…Think of all the “sips” of conversation we have that don’t involve face to face dialogue(or voice to voice) ..Texting, emails, Facebook, twitter; in every aspect of our lives..From work to romance! It has become a valuable & convenient way to communicate..But does it serve as a substitute for real conversation? Something to think or talk! about indeed…
Reeking of vulnerability & dripping sincerity
Not seeking to don Harry’s cloak of invisibility
Fully present in the moment..
Head first I plunge into my cerebral mental state
Where everything is light in actual weight
Reflections of a time now so very far backintheday
Least a generation back when to ‘talk’ meant to say
Words voice to voice
Now there’s a choice
But at what cost?
Something has been lost
Inflections don’t get injected
Body language missed..Neglected
Not to mention the lack of social skills
Society seems not to care what it kills..
Coincidentally what I do the best
My gift from God, yep , I’m blessed
It might be a fading fad
*sigh* I find that sad
But I persist!
Just can’t resist
the urge to be who i BE
Preferred mode of communication?
Speak with me & to ME
Nothing can replace staring into another’s eyes
Peering deep into their soul as their brows rise
My need to connect with others is strong
I simply refuse to believe that’s wrong
Going along with status quo just ‘ain’t my style
Following my vibe without a script nor backup file
Call me old-fashioned if you like..I truly care less
Real talk for real~
I know everything that IS; isn’t always for the best
Text queen that I am ..ahhh I love it so in a pinch, I really do!
So dang convenient time wise; yet
Nothing easily gained comes for free..this I know 2 be true
I guess if verbalizing indeed has become passé
I’d much rather be told that face to face
Nothing will ever replace
Or take the place
Not too long ago I answered a question someone asked me..Ever had that happen? Random question, or so YOU thought? Asked by a friend or acquaintance; and when you answer HONESTLY but with tact(I try, I try..) you know almost immediately..YOURS was the WRONG answer!?! What I would truly like to know is this..WHY don’t folks who ask questions; give a multiple list choice of CORRECT answers??? I hardly ever mean to offend anyone..UNLESS I’m trying to offend someone on purpose..Which thankfully isn’t often. At all..Nevertheless I’m going to start following these tips from now on when I answer questions people ASK..Y’all ready for this? >>
First on the list is probably the hardest of all..Been in a situation when someone asks you a question & you aren’t sure IF they really want the truth or not? Is being honest always best in all given situations? When IS lying to someone , so as not to bruise their feelings, ever the right thing to do? When I find myself questioning how to answer someone’s personal question & I find myself pausing for reflection on how to answer? I do my best to DIVERT from even answering the question. Its times like those that my gift for gab comes in handy..>>
A very wise good friend of mine once advised me to NEVER ask him a question that I really didn’t want the answer to! Nevertheless folks from time to time will ask me a question that I know, in my hearts of hearts, that a..They won’t like my answer if I respond honestly b. It’s a trap! And knowing/feeling this from the onset I flat-out refuse to respond. No diversion. Just give ’em that look @ Did you really expect me to answer that question??? >>
From timetotime when someone I care about asked a question; I’ll give them a 2 second warning of what type of response I’m going to give..This gives them a chance to stop me before I even begin to respond..IF said person lets me begin to answer it’s at their own risk..I prefer to be answered honestly; even though the truth can sometimes hurt. I’d rather know then not know..Or I’d not have asked. But that’s just the way I see it>>
I’ll never understand why some ask questions they don’t really want the answer to..Not the honest answer anyway..Why ask? And WHY so often; do folks heap a guilt trip on a person for answering honestly? Especially when they asked the question in the first place??? *slapping forehead* Ask me NO questions & I’ll tell you NO lies(and give me the same in return..)
Its NO secret..I talk alot. I love talking/vibing with people. I am after all a people-loving-social-butterfly..And that isn’t self-professed..That is factual. Nevertheless, while its known that I talk alot..what is that in comparison TO? Folks who don’t talk alot? Folks who do not talk; enough? Whats the gauge? And whose to say which is the norm@ Those who talk too much? OR Those that talk less or not enough? Should I talk less? (Truth B told I’ve been working on brevity for a couple years now…) OR should other folks talk more? Is there such a thing as a Right or Wrong way regarding this topic? Yep, once again my questions have questions & with good reason…>>
Question of the Day= Is it cool to size another person UP according to our own personal set of standards? AKA(also known as..) judging? Or should we just allow folks to B who they are , otherwise known as @ Live N Let Live…? ***The answer to that question is NO, its not a cool thing to do! But, as humans we do it all the time. As IF we have a right! to project what we feel is “the” way to B or act on another; is acceptable. Why is it that WE feel the need to exert our pompousNESS on other folks? I get UNsolicited running commentary quite often(2 often..) on how much I talk ..and oh! you really love talking don’t you? Or do you ever get tired of talking? My answers? Yep, I talk alot. Yep, I love! talking to people/vibing/interacting/learning about different cultures/learning what makes a person tick/learning about things, stuff! that matters to another person. Yep, sometimes I tire of talking and there is but ONE specific event in my life I don’t do much talking. But, I’ve not had the pleasure of partaking in far too long…On the flip side of that I’ve got but one question to ask. Sort of..What happened to tolerance? Is that not the IN thing anymore?>>
I’m also a people observer..I observe people when they’ve NO clue I’m doing it; they usually thinking cause I’m talking I’m not paying attention. Nothing could be further from the truth. What I’ve observed is more usual than not folks who accept the least; require the most acceptance from others themselves. Trip on that for a minute! & let that sink in…I won’t go too much deeper because y’all probably have already run into those kind of folks. Truly ironic; but it is what it is>>
I wonder if anyone ever told Oprah she talked too much …Backintheday before she became a filthy rich talk show Diva & innovator..Bet IF they did she didn’t give a hot dayum about what they felt; why? Because she knew she had a gift for gab & a dream!; and she was on a mission. A mission to be all she could B & was meant to B. I think Oprah knew long before she made it BIG; what her gift was. But what IF she’d let others judgement of her..change her? The list is very long how many people she’s touched in a positive manner; probably in the thousands. Maybe more…I’ll take that one step further..President Barack Obama might not have made it to the White House without Oprah’s backing..And what a shame that would’ve been! >>
I say all of this to say..IF theres something YOU like doing; that isn’t hurting anyone else; do IT. No one has the right, even though they’ll speculate to your face & behind your back, to tell you what you do to much of OR not enough of. Its simply not their business. Even if they take it upon themselves to act like it IS. Mayhaps they need to micro-manage their OWN lives. Real talk for real..Personally? I gives less than a care (and I sincerely mean this..) about other folks speculations on how much I talk(or anything for that matter) The ONLY expert on Bernadette IS my God. And 2nd to that is lil ole me. And I’m still learning about me(yep, even at almost 50) ; so how in the heck can another person KNOW whats right for me? They simply can’t know..So? I take it all with a grain of salt. And? I limit(seriously..) salt intake in my personal diet. So for all the talkers & gift -for-gabbers out there? Sending y’all a very BIG virtual high 5! (and that includes on my black hand side..baby boomers out there remember that phrase 🙂 ) And for all of US…next time we open our mouths to tell someone about something they do? Think FIRST..Is it productive? Is it a positive critique? Is it a necessary critique? Is it progressive for that person? Or is lack of understanding, acceptance & tolerance? Then? Look in the mirror & figure out what you need to change FIRST. Me? I’ll be somewhere, talking about something!, to someONE..and loving every minute of IT. Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only) Do YOU as only U can do*