Tags

, , , , , , , , ,


..I made a comment recently and I’m standing by it..50 is rushing up on me; and I’m in much anticipation for it. I’m ready! Aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be? What are my options if I’m not? …Well by now I’m sure y’all are ready to hear the actual comment I made! It for sure pushed the person’s buttons I was speaking to at the time; however, having said that..IF a person can’t say whats REALLY on their mind at almost 50 yrs of age(such as myself..) when in the heck IS the time to be able to keeeeeep it real?!? The way I see IT there is no time like the present..Hope y’all are ready for some real talk. This is for grown folks ONLY>>

…1st this BROADcast(yep, that’s a play on words that only those 50 & over will catch..) For allll those people who scared the beeeeejesus out of me about making 50..By telling me that one’s body starts literally falling apart with ailments/issues/organ’s failing/and caving in to gravity..Unless the day AFTER I make 50 yrs of age(July 5th..) this happens instantly; y’all lied. Lol, lol! It takes ALOT of consistent work, every single day(and I mean every day) but by the grace of a mighty good God; I’m SO thankful I don’t look like the stuff I’ve lived through at this ripe age. I’ve said it often; and I’ll say it one ‘mo time..Thank YOU God for blessing me. Now if the day after I make 50 yrs of age stuff starts dropping/sagging/and an organ fails; I’ll have to retract this comment. And I’m building up the cajones(figure of speech! cause I am all woman..) to post a picture of me here on WordPress; in my Bday dress after my Bday party. After all seeing is believing for some folks..Enough said & back to the topic at hand>>

....So last week I was having a conversation with someone I hardly knew & had just met..I talked to alot, and I mean ALOT, of people while I was in Phoenix last week..Anyways , somehow or other, we got on the topic of making 50 yrs of age..And for some reason or other; he says ” Well, I have a friend who does NOT know yet HIS purpose or direction, and he’s 50 yrs old already..” I stood there looking at him waiting for the and..And?!? There wasn’t an , and, folks that was IT..I’m not too sure I’m proud of what flew out of my mouth next. BUT , this is what I said(before I could censor it/sugar coat it..>>

In a very steady voice & with a straight face I said, ” WOW, well I feeeeel a person should know where they’re headed/what they’re doing/what their purpose IS/should be progressively moving forward by 50! I mean jeez 50 years old is a longgggg time to be LOST or clue less..” After I said that? He got that wide-eyed look of ” Did SHE just say that?” And he didn’t get time to counter the comment because class went back into session..Later I felt mayhaps that was a harsh comment. Ever make a comment & then later wonder IF you should’ve made it? But it got me to thinking..Isn’t 50 the age one should know it ALL? Or least know enough/have learned enough..IF not 50 yrs old exactly how OLD must one be to know enough to have a PHD in..Life? Does one ever get to that point in life? Or is this life journey just one long process of continual learning? 50 yrs of learning & living! qualifies a person as knowing ALOT, right?>>

the TRUTH is , or rather the truth as I know it, as a person on the doorstep of making 50 yrs old..I do NOT know it all. And honestly? It was a harsh comment..but in my heart of hearts I honestly feel a person should know what direction they’re headed or be in IT. As luck would have it(and I thank God & my lucky stars..) a couple of years before I was this close to 50 yrs old..It became to vividly CLEAR to me what my God-given path was; that I would’ve had to be blind not to have seen it. I could see it clear as day..It took following blind faith to get nearer to it though. And truth be told; I’m not all the way there yet. But I’m a heck-of-alot-closer than I’ve ever been to getting; there. My direction has been on fast-forward motion since then. Very fast..So fast its at times been over-whelming. And all positive..Having said that would I still stand by my comment; IF this wasn’t the case? Probably so..If it wasn’t the case I’d have felt I wasn’t where I was supposed to be by 50 yrs of age. Which leads me back to my first question. Aren’t we supposed to know it ALL by 50 yrs old? Or least enough to account for having lived 50 yrs?!? When I sat down & did some real soul-searching on the matter..AFTER, I’d spoken without thinking to the aforementioned person..Honestly? I don’t feel there is a SET amount of what we should know by 50 yrs of age. I think we know what we know due to the experiences of what we’ve lived through to this point..Some just know more than others. I think life is an ever-changing and evolving event..Like a very BIG stage. We’re all the actors. Our part isn’t determined by US..Its pre-determined. Our free will affords us the opportunity to get to the finish line; at different time periods. IF I could have a do-over of the earlier conversation I mentioned; that’s the response I wish I’d said. Unfortunately in this life journey we don’t always get do-overs though..Living IN the moment is something I attempt to do every, single day..I can only hope the person I said that to reads this & accepts my final & well – thought out answer. What I’ve learned at 50 yrs of age is …WE never stop learning. WE will never know it ALL. And I think learning that is one of the beautiful things about making it to 50 years of age! Now..I tell you one thing about 50 I’m still not used to ; yet. It’s as if overnight I changed from a Miss to a Ma’am. Lawd! When did that happen?? Lol, lolll Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere Berna (the 1 N only) P.S. I might also post a picture of my birthday cake after my party…I want ALL 50 candles on my cake..I don’t care IF it looks like a bonfire! I EARNED every one of those years..Truth be told my Mama probably won’t allow it. Lol, lol! I can just see her face if I even request 50 candles. The look on her face of “Do YOU want to burn the place down?”