..When I woke UP this morning the 1st thought I had was..These are the last days I’ll be 40ish..I’m eager and oh so ready to experience my 50s. NEVER in this life journey did I, of all people, think I’d be capable of embracing my 50s. My story continues; and yep, we all have a story. A story behind all of our lives that makes us who we ARE. As I say good bye to my 40s? I realize how much GROWTH transpired over those 10 remarkable years. WOW, wow, and omg wow. Time really does fly when one is caught UP; living/learning/stumbling/leaping hurdles/crawling under stuff!/and making a way when NO ONE else saw a way around things..The past 2 years? Its moved at warp speed! Good thing after awesome happening upon mind-blowing positive miraculous experiences for me! Whoa, I’ve had to hold on to the imaginative handrail so I didn’t fall or slip..Its good. Life is so good when one opens their eyes & their heart and hands things/all things over to; God. There is no other way to express it. There is no logical explanation. But that is my reality. I stand. I stand. I stand. So the countdown begins to the day I make 50 years of age. I’m thankful , so thankful, for all I’ve lived/loved! so much loveeeee/learned/seen/heard; and last but not least I thank God for allowing me to give life to the most amazing sons a Mother could have. God gifted me with 3 awesome MEN who will love me forever..IF there is but one piece of unsolicited advice I can offer to young married women out there? Try hard to co-raise the same type of MEN you’d be proud to marry. Real talk for real..I could go on & on & on about that topic; but I won’t . Anyways farewell 40s! Goooood bye 40s . Waving bye bye to my forties..Feeling unexpected emotions! Until I read/write y’all again many thanks for reading me this past-not-even-a-year-yet-that-I’ve-been-blogging. I thank YOU and YOU for all that you’ve shared , WOW..y’all have made my blogging experience here on W.P. just beautiful. Very. Thank you sincerely. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)
..I made a comment recently and I’m standing by it..50 is rushing up on me; and I’m in much anticipation for it. I’m ready! Aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be? What are my options if I’m not? …Well by now I’m sure y’all are ready to hear the actual comment I made! It for sure pushed the person’s buttons I was speaking to at the time; however, having said that..IF a person can’t say whats REALLY on their mind at almost 50 yrs of age(such as myself..) when in the heck IS the time to be able to keeeeeep it real?!? The way I see IT there is no time like the present..Hope y’all are ready for some real talk. This is for grown folks ONLY>>
…1st this BROADcast(yep, that’s a play on words that only those 50 & over will catch..) For allll those people who scared the beeeeejesus out of me about making 50..By telling me that one’s body starts literally falling apart with ailments/issues/organ’s failing/and caving in to gravity..Unless the day AFTER I make 50 yrs of age(July 5th..) this happens instantly; y’all lied. Lol, lol! It takes ALOT of consistent work, every single day(and I mean every day) but by the grace of a mighty good God; I’m SO thankful I don’t look like the stuff I’ve lived through at this ripe age. I’ve said it often; and I’ll say it one ‘mo time..Thank YOU God for blessing me. Now if the day after I make 50 yrs of age stuff starts dropping/sagging/and an organ fails; I’ll have to retract this comment. And I’m building up the cajones(figure of speech! cause I am all woman..) to post a picture of me here on WordPress; in my Bday dress after my Bday party. After all seeing is believing for some folks..Enough said & back to the topic at hand>>
....So last week I was having a conversation with someone I hardly knew & had just met..I talked to alot, and I mean ALOT, of people while I was in Phoenix last week..Anyways , somehow or other, we got on the topic of making 50 yrs of age..And for some reason or other; he says ” Well, I have a friend who does NOT know yet HIS purpose or direction, and he’s 50 yrs old already..” I stood there looking at him waiting for the and..And?!? There wasn’t an , and, folks that was IT..I’m not too sure I’m proud of what flew out of my mouth next. BUT , this is what I said(before I could censor it/sugar coat it..>>
In a very steady voice & with a straight face I said, ” WOW, well I feeeeel a person should know where they’re headed/what they’re doing/what their purpose IS/should be progressively moving forward by 50! I mean jeez 50 years old is a longgggg time to be LOST or clue less..” After I said that? He got that wide-eyed look of ” Did SHE just say that?” And he didn’t get time to counter the comment because class went back into session..Later I felt mayhaps that was a harsh comment. Ever make a comment & then later wonder IF you should’ve made it? But it got me to thinking..Isn’t 50 the age one should know it ALL? Or least know enough/have learned enough..IF not 50 yrs old exactly how OLD must one be to know enough to have a PHD in..Life? Does one ever get to that point in life? Or is this life journey just one long process of continual learning? 50 yrs of learning & living! qualifies a person as knowing ALOT, right?>>
the TRUTH is , or rather the truth as I know it, as a person on the doorstep of making 50 yrs old..I do NOT know it all. And honestly? It was a harsh comment..but in my heart of hearts I honestly feel a person should know what direction they’re headed or be in IT. As luck would have it(and I thank God & my lucky stars..) a couple of years before I was this close to 50 yrs old..It became to vividly CLEAR to me what my God-given path was; that I would’ve had to be blind not to have seen it. I could see it clear as day..It took following blind faith to get nearer to it though. And truth be told; I’m not all the way there yet. But I’m a heck-of-alot-closer than I’ve ever been to getting; there. My direction has been on fast-forward motion since then. Very fast..So fast its at times been over-whelming. And all positive..Having said that would I still stand by my comment; IF this wasn’t the case? Probably so..If it wasn’t the case I’d have felt I wasn’t where I was supposed to be by 50 yrs of age. Which leads me back to my first question. Aren’t we supposed to know it ALL by 50 yrs old? Or least enough to account for having lived 50 yrs?!? When I sat down & did some real soul-searching on the matter..AFTER, I’d spoken without thinking to the aforementioned person..Honestly? I don’t feel there is a SET amount of what we should know by 50 yrs of age. I think we know what we know due to the experiences of what we’ve lived through to this point..Some just know more than others. I think life is an ever-changing and evolving event..Like a very BIG stage. We’re all the actors. Our part isn’t determined by US..Its pre-determined. Our free will affords us the opportunity to get to the finish line; at different time periods. IF I could have a do-over of the earlier conversation I mentioned; that’s the response I wish I’d said. Unfortunately in this life journey we don’t always get do-overs though..Living IN the moment is something I attempt to do every, single day..I can only hope the person I said that to reads this & accepts my final & well – thought out answer. What I’ve learned at 50 yrs of age is …WE never stop learning. WE will never know it ALL. And I think learning that is one of the beautiful things about making it to 50 years of age! Now..I tell you one thing about 50 I’m still not used to ; yet. It’s as if overnight I changed from a Miss to a Ma’am. Lawd! When did that happen?? Lol, lolll Until I write/read y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere Berna (the 1 N only) P.S. I might also post a picture of my birthday cake after my party…I want ALL 50 candles on my cake..I don’t care IF it looks like a bonfire! I EARNED every one of those years..Truth be told my Mama probably won’t allow it. Lol, lol! I can just see her face if I even request 50 candles. The look on her face of “Do YOU want to burn the place down?”
For a little over a year now I’ve been planning my 50th birthday celebration..Mostly in my mind of so many different ideas & invite list & food list & party theme ..And of course what I’d like my party dress to look like! A woman’s 50th birthday party is special ; it marks something for me that mere words can’t properly describe. This will be the 1st time my birthday wasn’t just associated with the 4th of July..It will mark a major milestone in a very colorful life, indeed. I have arrived, finally! I’ve yet to decide IF I’ll wear long & flowing or short & sexy..all I know is it will be ultra feminine and I’ll own the “look”. That is as soon as I find the dress, OMG, I never thought finding a dress(the dress) would be this difficult..I’ve been looking for months & months & months..And now I’m less than 30 days away and still! haven’t found “the dress”. Far too many choices is the problem…>
As the actual party date nears..Plane flights are being booked & many friends & family are pitching in with GREAT ideas & suggestions & its all falling into place. This party IS going to be fabulous..Yet? I still don’t have “the dress!” It wasn’t even this difficult for me to find a wedding dress; I just knew the one when I saw it. I can’t tell y’all how many! dresses I’ve looked at over the past year..countless. None of them is calling out my name though. Should there be this level of pressure in selecting ONE dress? >>
I don’t want to lose sight of the things that truly matter in my hearts of hearts..Like the fact my sons are flying cross country to share this special time with me, yay, YAY, yayyy. Like the fact my Beloved parents will see their daughter celebrate a birthday she didn’t think she’d live to see. WOW God is good all the time; even times we don’t see that. Like the fact of all the awesome friends offering their services with love(my cake & a line UP of international foods & the oh-so-lovely invitations! I was gifted with..the WOW factor keeps rising & rising) I’m blown away by the outpouring of love; literally blown away. And yet? I still can NOT find “the dress”! I want to look like, well like..I want to look in the mirror in “the dress” and think ‘ Wowwww this is what 50 looks & feels like…’>>
As the date nears the butterflies in my tummy are going wild..I’m ready for 50. I’m ready to party, party, dance & dance & dance with all of my family & extended family of friends..I’m ready to jump with both feet into my 50s & the rest of my life. Life is good; really really GOOD. I know I’ll be full of awesome details to blog about afterwards too..And hopefully I’ll be able to report to y’all I wasn’t butt naked sans “the dress”! But the good news? If it follows suit with everything else this past couple years; “the dress” will be found just in time for the party. 28 days to go…
Today I forgot, again, that I’m almost 50 years old. Is there a certain way to ACT when one becomes 50? Are there certain things I’m not supposed to do anymore? If there is a specific new way to act or feel at 50 years old; I’m not there yet! Certainly NOT trying to look 50 yrs old, least not for another 15 yrs or so. I don’t know how to be anything other than…ME~~
…Today I was running(not a full force run; but I wasn’t walking nor was I jogging) while wearing 4 inch heels!/Sunday’s finest & cute!-special-4-Mothers Day- dress on/hair was hooked!..I was on church grounds headed to the Hall; the men of our church had cooked breakfast for all Mothers in honor of Mothers Day..Why was I running? I wanted a very good family friend(who recently had surgery) to not have to walk around the building to get into our church hall. Running while in a dress in 4 inch heels is NOT something I do often(unless a barking dog shows UP out of nowhere..I admit I’ve run like hell in those situations..in flipflops even!) but .. a. I didn’t want her having to stand on her feet too long b. I wanted that door open , instead of the back door, & it was locked c. I was starving!!!! I had not even a banana that morning and it was after 11 a.m. d. It was HOT outside & I move quickly in the heat to get OUT of it.. So anyways, before I “remembered that I was in a heels/all dressed UP/and that I’m just about 50 ” there I was running..Just got caught UP in the spontaneity of the moment..Later on; is when the *thoughts* began to creep into my mind…>
1st thought was * Dangggg I’m glad my Mom didn’t see me do that, lol lol! She’d have been horrified. My Mom is perfectly mannered at all times..I slip from time to time; I forget which fork to use when the table setting has more than TWO/I laugh sometimes when I shouldn’t cause when stuff is funny I can’t help it/I’ve been heard saying “oops” on the mic sitting in the choir in church(now THAT is embarrassing) & etc etc yada yada I just can’t recall all of the perfect rules of etiquette ! But I do think I’m serious so much of my life that at this phase; I am not trying really hard to stop my laughter or my spontaneity..>
Truth be told I’m LOLing a ton more at this point in my life than EVER before..Real talk for real..More than likely because for the first time in my adult life I’ve … a. Got no one but my own fanny to take care of; which btw was a major adjustment. I’ve been a parent as long as I’ve been an adult..if nothing else comes naturally to me it IS to nuture..I was like a fish out of water when my 1st son left years & years ago headed to college. And when the last one left to head to college couple years ago? For a minute I didn’t know how what to do next..I was like wtheck do I do now? Happens when one is always used to tending to others they love..now its time for Mama to tend to Mama. At long last… b. NO longer fear the boogie-man(seen him first hand and survived!) No longer fear being without, doing without, or being single..been there, done that, lived through it, and took tons of mental notes…lessons earned & learned c. Now with God holding the reins, my parents on each side of me emotionally, my sons loving me to the fullest, a host of loved ones & extended family of friends…whether I’m up or down I’m never alone. So with all of that who wouldn’t smile & laugh & laugh..koolaid smiles so wide my cheeks hurt! Bring it ON 50 cause I am ready..>
On most days I forget I’m knocking on 50…Until! I hear folks older than me say things like…Oh wow, 50 is THE age when your body starts falling apart little by little..*slapping forehead* and OMG…I’m trying with all my might to fight gravity and slap mother nature in the face for a little while longer..Its like a juggling act for sure; but so far everything is STILL where its supposed to be..Thank You God for blessing me with good genes; so good that I can still rock my jeans.
I think all things considered I’m going to keep forgetting I’m half a century old..Don’t want to lose my spunky lust for life that often times has me giggling like a little girl. I’ve earned those giggles! Don’t want to lose following through the urge to STOP and smell the flowers..daily. I appreciate all parts of nature…plants breed new life and re-growth. Don’t want to lose the pep in my step or the urge to sing out loud often times..Had to catch myself singing in the hall at work the other day(before someone heard me , lol ) But life really is that good; the song in my heart is singing loud all day loud..every once in a while its bound to slip out. And if I invited you to my 50th bday party in July? You’ll see just how a 50 yr old can still put the P in party…cause I’m going to dance & dance & dance & dance & dance..I don’t care if every bone & muscle in my body aches the next day..better not, lol! Going to party like its 1999!!!!!! Don’t remember that Prince song? Better ask somebody! And make sure they’re 50 & UP.. Older really is better and wiser>
Single, Sexy, and very Smart..it is beginning to feel like a curse! In the love department. I’ll never get to write about fiction; because real life is FAR more exciting plus full of UNDANGbelievable moments..Hold onto your hats & wigs folks ! This might get a little raw and as always totally real..but I’m almost 50 yrs old I can say what I feel and mean & mean what I say. Right? Yep, I’m very right about alot more than I give myself credit for. Till now. Ya’ll ready for this? Ready..Get set..
Here i GO..This might very well come off as a rant, possibly even venting. I’d prefer to say it is a ..release of pent-UP unexpressed sentiment. Having recently relocated from the Right Coast to the Left Coast; I’ve finally! begun to like it here. All is falling into place and I no longer(sort of..) feen for my beloved Cali. Truly dig the people here, have made FABULOUS friends here, and I love my JOB. And yet, for the 1st time in my life I seem to be attracting alot of married brothers! I don’t get it ..but I swear if ONE more approaches me , in anything-other-than-a-friendship-type-of-“thang”; I will scream! And I won’t be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth…I don’t think married guys realize the total and UTmost disrespect that is to a woman. Not to mention their wife..and on my pisstivity meter it rates a 10 out of 10.
Certainly we all know there are women who go after married men on purpose…They even see it as a personal challenge to go for unavailable and married men. Anyone who knows me knows that without a shred of doubt; I am NOT one of those women. I want, deserve!, and am patiently (trying dang hard not to fall off the wagon..) awaiting for my “the one” to find me. Maybe because this is the longest timeframe I’ve been single; I’m throwing off pheromones like crazy. Or least that is the line that someone recently used on me; as IF. I’d even go as far as to say, and I have, that I’m pretty vulnerable right about now(no matter how strong I project I am & feel I am) Nonetheless the type of love relationship I’m seeking does NOT include a married brother..and I’ll briefly attempt to explain why. >
First of all it makes me feel cheap and dirty! And I hope some of ya’ll are reading this..Mayhaps it will make ya’ll think twice about hitting hard on single women. As IF having a wife at home isn’t enough. And what the heck happened to the time when everyone WORE a wedding band?!? When I was married IF my husband had walked around without his wedding band on..it would’ve sent off a major alarm in my head. Although truth be told if your man is going to cheat; you could wrap his entire body in wedding bands & he’ll still cheat. A cheater will find a way to cheat in a locked room by themselves! Or so it is my belief…and yep I’ve got major issues with cheating-while-married. For a reason. It happened to me. Once upon a time long ago. And literally broke my heart into tiny fragmented pieces…(though we’re great friends now, forgiveness works wonders!)
Isn’t it quite unfair to dangle candy in front of a baby; and then say the baby can’t have the candy? That is exactly what it feels like to “think” someone is single; only to find out surprise! he’s charming/HOT/funny!/personality to die for but MARRIED. When in actuality that is something that should be well known from the get-go. I just feel anything less when approaching a woman is perpetuating a fraud. And one step further so are the married ones who say they’re cool with friendship..and then bam! Swooooop down and hit on a woman so hard it can quite literally take her breath away. Note: Insert the word “men” & “wife” in the following picture..>
We all fall short of perfection. I get that; and I have my hand held UP high that I’m not perfect. I’ll say it one ‘mo time for the record. I don’t even strive to be perfect anymore. Being perfect would make me..boring. And if anyone reading this has met a perfect person; point them out I’d like to finally see what a perfect person really looks like. I say allll of that to say married folks can do whatever they please. I care less..do YOUR thing and do it well. BUT don’t include me in it. I want no parts of it. As IF I want to be next in line to be sitting at home; waiting on a husband who is working hard to get next to a single woman. Or mayhaps only I look at it from that perspective. It really does, for a minute, hurt my feelings that said married brothers would think that little of me. For a minute…then after that minute or so passes? I get MAD..especially if I felt the temptation. That leads me back again to level 10 on my pisstivity meter. I’m not there often; and I don’t like being there. Exclamation mark. Period
Someone recently said something; and this saying is getting so OLD. I’ve tired of hearing it because I simply refuse to believe it. They said that all of the good brothers are either married; or in prison. NOT..I won’t comment on the either of those situations. What I will say is this. I exist/divorced & single & sexy, attractive & physically fit/and I’m a dang good woman. And I’ve got a couple single girl friends who are even more fabulous than I am. So since we exist then there have GOT to be 3 HOT heckafied brothers out there also…and I know mine is looking for me. He is searching for me high & low. I can feel it in my bones. I’m thinking about getting a T -shirt that says “Here i AM baby & I waited just for U” Lol! Actually thats not a bad idea..
Bottom line is I love everyone..I truly, truly LOVE/admire/cherish/dig my brotha’s. And 99.9% of the time I get nothing but MAD, and I mean mad props, from my brothers. Including friendships that I treasure dearly..but I just had to add these thoughts as a footnote. Often times folks, including me, can do things that we don’t know offend others. I’m making it known, again, I find it highly offensive. Enough said…Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted and blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one & only)
2. I am going to have the BIGGEST party of my entire LIFE for my 50th this summer..Couldn’t be more excited about that!
3. I’ve got far more than 50 loved ones(including both of my parents!) /close friends/dear friends that are still living whose company I can enjoy/laugh with/hang out with/hug/kiss/talk to. NO material object on earth can compare..
4. I can recall when the majority of music involved lyrics that meant something; they just don’t make that type of GOOD music like backintheday.
5. I was around to enjoy(and then enjoy with my sons..) playing games as a family that involved the ENTIRE family. Not like the 1 or 2 player video games or internet games. Card games like Monopoly, Scrabble!, Trouble, Headache, Uno, Twister(wow what fun!) , Hopscotch, Jumprope(do little girls even do these things anymore???) Oh , how I bet parents out there wish gifts were as cheap now as backintheday…and the time spent as a family? Priceless
7. Focusing on things I can DO and not things that I can’t do anymore..I can still do front flips/cartwheels/the splits!/handstands/touch my toes with ease/see my toes with ease lol!
8. I’m stronger, wiser, BETTER than I’ve ever been..and ever is a very long time
9. Recall fondly the days when mobile phone meant walking around with a corded phone..and the cord was LONG enough to wrap around 4 city blocks! Dang sure didn’t have to worry about the battery running out in the middle of a steamy conversation..
10. Recall the days when leaving a cell phone at home did not felt like leaving behind a limb! Matter of fact I’ve never left home without mine…anyone out there remember when we used to wait till we got home to discover what we didn’t buy at the store??? Today’s convenience is something I’ve grown to love but there is a certain beauty in being able to recall the good ole days..
12. No chronic health issues or meds needed . No batteries either! And thanking GOD/my lucky stars/and trying to do all I can to maintain good health. If there is one word of advice for the youth that is worth gold it is.. take care of your body daily. And FLOSS after every meal..
13. I’ve no enemies..that I know of anyway! I greet even strangers like they are friends. And I treat my family & friends like GOLD. Its returned 10fold..
14. I can /and do speak my mind freely…
15. Still have most of my marbles left and no memory loss issues; or least I think so. Lol!
16. Got over the stage of thinking “I know it all”, whew! Now I’ve learned that the more I learn the more there is to learn…I’ve aligned mentors(even some that don’t know they are my mentors in any subject area I want to learn more about) Another tip for the youth= Attain mentors; you’ll need them.
17. Learned not to give unsolicited advice. Sort of…still working on fully mastering that.
18. Finally learned to be a “glass is half-full ” type of person; instead of the opposite I once used to be. And technically the glass is always FULL…unless you’re in a vacuum of space. Yep, google that one..
19. One gets OLD; when they stop playing/being playful/ or knowing how to play. I am never going to get OLD; just older & better
20. Dancing! becomes an art that when the music comes on your body just takes over & disengages from the brain. So dance, dance, dance and dance; even if it means you’ve got to dance by yourself. Dance!
22. You can learn anything at any AGE. And I’m hoping I also learn you don’t forget how to do things just because you’ve not done them in a while…more on that when I finally do IT
23. Maturity means= Even up to my 40s I took life so seriously! (especially when I was co-raising sons) Finally as I’m closing in on 50 I’m laughing more daily than ever before..
24. 50 really doesn’t feel anything like I thought 50 would feel like when I was in my 20s or even my 30s..50 doesn’t feel OLD as I thought it would at all. 50 just feels fabulous!
25. I’ve learned to drop my fears…bad things are going to happen cause life happens. But I’ve been over/under/around/and THROUGH such mindblowing, deeeeeep valleys/and just downright shiiiite and survived that its given me confidence that there isn’t much I can’t handle or live through. There is much comfort in knowing/feeling that
26. I’ve learned that sometimes NO answer is about as good as it gets. And that is just fine..I used to think life was all black and white. Or I’d just have to know the answer to the many questions I ask(I’m inquisitive by nature) But I’m learning that isn’t the case. Gray area does exist..and sometimes you just have to let things GO in order to get to the next level. And sometimes? After you let it go; the answer finally becomes clear
27. I try very, very hard to put principles BEFORE personality. This was something a very dear friend on the West Coast taught me…priceless lessons he taught me. There are times we have to interact with folks that we do NOT agree with on a consistent basis. Or something about them is so different from our beliefs/behavior…Agreeing to disagree alot works in these situations. Or in some cases just giving in works too …and this is necessary sometimes if on a team(for lack of a better word) worker towards a mutual goal. Might not be easy to understand now but when you get into situations as I’m referring to; you’ll understand
28. Small stuff DOES matter! Time spent with my parents. Priceless. Time spent doing labors of love; like a garden for my Daddy. Priceless. Time spent chatting with old friends on the West Coast. Priceless. Time spent over a quick lunch with new friends. Priceless. Laughing with new/old friends or loves ones. Priceless! Watching the sun rise. Absolutely priceless..Life is full of moments that we just have to stop to enjoy
29. Simplify. Simplify. SIMPLIFY. That IS the word of the day. Every day…
30. I’ve learned to COUNT my blessings every single day..and testify whenever possible to whoever will listen. I find myself doing this more than I ever thought I would..never thought I would actually.
31. I’ve always been a dreamer. And I dream BIG..as I near 50 I’m DOing more things I’d always said I’d DO. Living ones dreams is better than living to dream. Not getting any younger and there is NO time like the present
32. The things that yield the best results in life= Do NOT get caught up in gossip. It can be lethal…So be fair. Be HONEST. Be consistent. Be GENEROUS. Be Trustworthy. Respect others and yourself. And smile alot! It is contagious..
33. I’ve learned it is better to be KIND than RIGHT..another very close West Coast friend taught me this. And he was so right…
34. I’ve learned a broken heart can mend. Over time. Alot of time. I’m praying though I don’t have wait for mine to mend ever again though
35. Admitting you don’t know how to do something yields better results than pretending you do! The good news? Usually , or least has been the case with me, you’ll quickly find after admitting it someone will teach you what you didn’t know. I love IT when it works out that way
36. Generic store brands? Just as good as the name brand more expensive versions. Saving money is awesome!
37. Saving for a rainy day or necessity(like a new car..) just makes sense. Saving pennies or even coins does add up…Literally
38. Wear what YOU like to wear & what you feel you look best in. I never was one for following “fads”….bottom line is DO and BEing yourself just feels great. I don’t want to walk around looking like a carbon copy of everyone else..
39.Compliment. Compliment. Compliment! I always let people know I like what they’ve got on or a new hair style. Why do we think these things but don’t say them out loud? Saying them usually brings out a smile..
40. Be early. Saves alot of frustration and stress from rushing to get to places
41. Floss! I can’t say that enough…and I might say it for a 3rd time to get to the end of this 50 list
42. I’ve learned to laugh at myself. I don’t take myself near as serious as I used to…result? I stopped being my own worst critic/enemy. Discovered it was impossible to reach perfection . I stopped even reaching for perfection. Now I just do my best. At anything I do
43. Stay true to MYSELF. I don’t let anyone define who I am anymore. I like me after long last. Either accept me as I am or move on…and I’ll do the same
44. Failing at some things is normal. If we don’t fail we’re not pushing our own limits. Many people first failed at things , and yet kept striving, are now considered major success stories. Life is full of ordinary people trying to do extraordinary things..I’m one of them
45. Being on time matters. If I can’t get there early I’m at the least on time. Early bird really does get the prize…
47. Not sure when I became a “ma’am”! OMG when I first starting hearing it from strangers I’d look around to see who the heck they were talking to..I’ve finally adjusted to it. Sort of…lol
48. A good debate from time to time is still good for a “rush”; but anything other than that even closely remote to having an arguement is SO over-rated and just not necessary. I’ve grown old enough to know you can talk anything out …even when not in agreement. If I’ve got to fight with you consistently I don’t care to spend precious time with you. Period. And I mean that…I’ve no drama in my life NOR do I want any
49. IF a person judges me, or anyone else, by the type of car they drive /how much money they make/or what they own…they’re NOT the type of person I want to spend time around.
50…Wooooo hoooo I made it to 50. Keeping ones’ word is important to ME. So glad I was able to with this list. Was alot harder than I thought when I chose this topic..but nothing easy is usually worth it.
I’ve declared 2013 as a year for many things ..I’m kick starting it with treating myself the same way I expect others to treat me. (and the say way I treat them) Which means from timetotime I like to be pampered! How easy its been to have lived a life of consistently outsourcing myself to others..As a mother, daughter, sister, wife, grandchild,niece,cousin,best friend, friend, employee, boss, mentor etc, etc, yada yada. Now that the time has come when I’ve got alot of “me” time its time to go from this state of being….>>
Earlier this year for the 1st time ever! my Mom experienced her first day at the spa..All day! It was a Christmas gift from my eldest son(her eldest grandson) . And though it wasn’t my first day spa experience it was by far the most fulfilling. To see my Mom glow from the full body hour long body massage was an awesome thing to see…To think I’d thought she’d have issues undressing(though behind closed doors in a private room in an all female Spa) and laying down for the massage. She couldn’t STOP talking about it when we ran into each other while waiting for our facial sessions. It made me think of how much of a womans’ life can be devoted to her husband/family..and yet not far enough time devoted to just her own “me” time of pampering Self. For ALL that we DO and all that we take care of , tend to, co-raise, raise, manage, and run..we dang sure deserve to pamper ourselves. And often. So I decided to make it one of my New Year vows to myself ..day spa visits for me & Mom bi-monthly. I’ve already hand-picked the perfect place! It is serene and lovely…>>
I’m down with all of the services the spa offers (I have slept peacefully during full body massages & wake UP feeling totally renewed) with the exception of mud baths & hot rock massages. IF anyone tries to ever put hot rocks on my body; I won’t be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth! As IF. And who in the world created something so painful yet called it pleasurable in the first place??? I don’t know exactly what my face looked like the first time I was NAIVE enough to try a hot rock massage. Oh yep, I did try it once. I thought if it was part of a day of pampering at a day spa it had to feeeeeel good. WRONG. I didn’t make it past the first rock on my back..no need to even explain here & now what type of words flew out of my mouth. I couldn’t control it..The next time someone asks me if I’d like the hot rock treatment …the loooook on my face might be similar to this one. >>
Self love is the most important love of all..one can’t offer to another what they don’t have inside of Self. Or feel for self. So least till I’m no longer riding solo..I plan on doing quite a bit of practicing & increasing my level of Self Love. By time my, the ONE, discovers me I should be a pro. And he’ll definitely reap every single reward of all that I’ve learned… Till ya’ll read me again stay UPlifted N blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)
**When was the last time U did something NEW? Hmmm ..I saw that somewhere the other day and made me stop 2 think. Dang! When was the last time I did something new???? Have I become such a creature of habit that I’ve forgotten to B spontaneous from timetotime? Lawd! Is this part of what becoming part of the 50yr old club means? (asked MYself these questions but thankfully I don’t answer back!) Didn’t I decide couple years back to loosen UP with my control issues and GO with the flow more? Hope that also means trying new, exciting! things N keeeeeping life full of ELECTRIC moments..
So I’ve dug UP my mental list of new things that I’m going to DO in 2013..1 new thing a week during the year of my Fabulous 50th Bday. The year which I’ve claimed as , My Year. (for alot of things ; but thats another topic for another time)
I’m going to buy me a hula hoooop! If I can find one. Ya’ll remember the hula hoop??? Well I DO and I’m bringing IT back. Talk about fun..and now its been said its also great exercise. Go figure! I can slap my tunes in my earlobes and dance til I DROP rocking my very own PINK hoooop . And that is exactly what I’m going to do even if I have to go to every single Walmart till I find one….When I do? I’m going to blog allll about IT. Lol!
Well, I’m sure I won’t looook this good on ice skates anytime soon..but I’m dang sure doing to try. Been wanting to learn how to ice-skate all my life. And this being the year of my fabulous 50 is just the time to finally do IT. Heard there is an ice skating rink near here too. So if any of ya’ll just happens to be at the rink N you see someone who looks like me wobbling and bobbling around on the rink…catch me if I FALL. Pretty please 🙂
I’ll have on a bit more clothes than Sista girl here..but I’m going to reNEW my love of roller skating sooooon. Honestly? It has been 20 yrs since I was last literally on wheeels. BUT I’ve heard one never forgets something they love to DO..and I truly hope that is true for many reasons!(another topic for another time..) Anyways thankfully there is a roller rink near by and I will be doing this very soooon. Yet another episode for me to blog about in the future I’m sure. So stay tuned it only gets better from here..
Far too long ago I used to run track. Yep! Problem was I was far shorter than all the other runners..and one can only guess what that means. Yep! I didn’t win too many races. So then I switched over to short distance events & that wasn’t quite exciting enough for me. So then I switched over to an activity for the rest of the short petite girls..gymnastics. Perfect FIT..I can’t do back flips anymore(tried recently and wasn’t a pretty sight..) BUT I can still do front flips , splits! , and I can do a mean floor routine..Can’t hang with Gabby but I can hold my own for almost 50. But back to the topic at hand(bad digression!) I want to run a marathon. For a good cause…I don’t have to come in 1st place. And I probably won’t. But I want to start and get to the finish line.
Had many opportunities to ski. Always said NO thank you! Not trying to break a leg or freeeze my fanny off in teeth chattering cold. But on my new quest to try new things I am going to give it a try…And I am hoping I run into someone who loooooks like the brother in this pic! I’lll be ready to glide on the snowy slopes all day with him as an instructor…Lets SKI
Last but not least I am going to ride a bicycle built for 2..Anyone seen anyone on one of these lately? I recall when used to see them quite often. Don’t people DO things together anymore??? Activities that involve getting OFF the couch? Or that doesn’t involve sitting down to a meal??? When my , the ONE, discovers me this year and we go for a ride on our bicycle built for 2..I’m going to write/blog and tell ya’ll allll about IT. Hope everyone out there had a marvelous and Merry CHRISTmas..it was a beautiful love-filled day on this end. Stay blessed N UPlifted. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 N only)
From now till the New Year comes in I figure we might as well have some fun with our list of New Year resolutions..Yep, most of us have them! But the question IS will YOU keep your promises to yourself? Hmmmm I’ve got to admit 2012 was one of the very 1st years I kept every single resolution/self vow/& goal I made for myself for the year. And kicking off the list for 2013’s New Year resolutions for me IS..staying FIT. Be back shortly to have fun with this topic…
Alright going to have to complete this topic in increments..doing alot on this end due to holiday prep..BUT I promise 2 things. I’ll finish this segment AND hopefully can give ya’ll some good TIPS on how to begin & more importantly KEEP a good fitness routine UP..Cause any of us can “say” we’re going to get fit, right? But with oh so busy schedules of holding down an 8-5 M-F, plus church activities, other random projects ..i.e..extra work projects , reading, socializing, writing!, family time, gardening, chores, routine dr. appts, ..I’ve found I had to MAKE time to exercise and eat right…but if I can do it, which I can assure you I did..anyone can do IT. I worked hard this entire year to “tweak” my physical being..from the inside out. (and mind you I wasn’t overweight when I began…) With 50 yrs of age rushing upon me I decided I am/will B the best dang(translation dayum!) >50< I can possibly B. From head 2 toe. Inside N Out. I took it one day at a time, without any direction from anyone else..just winged IT. Final result? Well, I lost so much weight so quickly my pants were literally falling off me! Real talk (thankfully my GodMom can sew awesomely well and tailored my clothes for me, whew!..bummer about losing weight is the high cost of clothes replacement) Loving what I see in the mirror N just as important I feeeeel great. Probably better than I did in my 20s. Now I’m just trying to maintain the size I am because if I lose 1 more inch or pound I’ll loooook anorexic..and that isn’t cool, nor healthy, N is not the look I want. So lets see if I can break this down for ya’ll soon as I come back I’m going to dive INto this topic. Oh, the pressure LOL . Had special requests for this topic so hope I can deliver..
First things first! And , in my opinion, and from my experience first STEP in doing anything..is deciding one wants to do something. Mentally picturing the final result. And figuring out what it takes 2 get..there. Then exerting extreme will power and DISCIPLINE to attain that end result. That is what I did 2 go from being “just in shape” to being totally fit. My doctor has co-signed on that by the way..I’ve no health issues nor health concerns. Just had full lab work to confirm . No meds nor need for meds. For anything. What I do take, as I have for the past 35 yrs. is a multivitamin a day. A really good one for women 50 yrs & UP..I also take a probiotic packet every day(which I began taking almost 6 months ago when I began drinking a raw veggie smoothie. ) I also take a all natural Ginseng capsule every day(which I’ve done for 20 yrs) I also take a fish oil capsule every single day. Also I gave UP my love of Diet Pepsi a few years back.(now I drink no carbonated drinks at all) I drink ALOT and I mean alot of water. Gave up drinking alcohol socially about 10 years back. Desire of mine to be healthy from the inside out is very strong…
First, I started walking. Alot! I was new to the state N didn’t yet have friends here so I began walking by myself..Fast walking almost the pace of a light jog. During very hot months I was walking at O’dark thirty hours. Sometimes on weekends while it was still hot outside I’d walk the full length of the mall. I still do alot of walking during my work lunch breaks at the mall, alot! The great thing as the added bonus is I love window shopping N shopping ..So anyways what needs to be remembered is walking is a fantastic way to drop pounds! Add scenery to the walk and fave music on your Iphone/Ipod(I don’t walk without my tunes..) and you can add the miles up quickly. What also counts is every , single step one takes during the day..so its good to remember that while at work in an office environment to add walking/climbing steps(when possible). Instead of clicking to email coworkers; try getting UP to walk to deliver the message from timetotime. Long prolonged periods of sitting make ones’ fanny spread! And again, each step one takes during the day adds UP ..After months of walking last year and amping my pace UP..I began to jog. Now I’m up to a full run for short distances and alternate with fast jog in between.
Next, figure out what type of exercise routine you want to take on…I started off slowly. I knew I needed to add to my walking routine; so I began with morning situps, squats, dumbbell arm workouts…Was important to me to get my arms firm/toned/slight muscle definition again. Got it now! But it took consistent working out and slowly adding more to my routine. I’m up early in the mornings so its the best time of the day for me to do most of my exercise routine. Total morning work out time is about an hour. Now though I’ve also added a mini work out in the evenings..I’m working on defining different parts of my body now and I do a section every other night. All it takes is about 20 mins every evening. My suggestion to anyone starting fresh with exercise is FIRST check with your Doc. Don’t do anything new without first doing that…then slowly add little by little to your routine. As you see results it will get SO goood to you it will motivate you to..continue. Or least it did with me. Motivation is key in my opinion. And also always keep in the background of your mind what you want your end result to loooook like…that will keep driving you and driving you.
Next, out of the blue the introduction of a raw veggie drink called, The Glowing Green Smoothie, entered my life! And all I can say about the results is WOW. And WOW one ‘mo time. See a full description and explanation in the post I did couple nights ago called ‘Berna’s Book Reviews’..the book the recipe for the smoothie comes from is called ‘The Beauty Detox Solution’ N I’m living proof it works IF you work it. It is a drink I’ll make & drink for the rest of my life. Energy level is amped way UP..I feeeeel as if I could climb tall mountains! (and I was already a naturally hyper person so can you imagine after this veggie smoothie??? OMG..energy galore) My oily acne prone skin(which I’ve had my entire life) is absolutely GLOWING. I can’t think of another word for it..so muchso that there are times I don’t wear make UP because I don’t want to cover my skin up. Yep, this smoothie and its results has been that gooooood 2 me and for me. Imagine every day getting an instant shot of about a cazillion vitamins???? That is the best way I can describe being on this smoothie for the past 6 months…
The bottom line is for all of us eating well & exercising should rightfully B a part of our daily routine. Earlier we implement such a plan, and stick 2 it!, it becomes so routine that it doesn’t seem like alot of things to recall or DO. It isn’t about being on diet after diet after diet(which btw has an awful impact on a womans’ body..) in my opinion we have to learn to make eating right/exercising daily a part of our lifestyle. IF we can do that it won’t be something that we have to add to our list of New Years resolutions year after year after year! Lets hope from this day forth that our resolutions from here on out will B to…stay FIT/maintain our fitness/and strive to consistently improve on a great foundation. Ready? Get set…GO
I hadn’t planned on posting any music videos on my blog page..Until I ran across this one 2day..I do SO love music; there isn’t much that I do that I don’t have music on in the background..This past year or so I’ve worked diligently & very HARD on becoming as much of the person I want to B by the time I make 50..Trying to ditch the bad N keep the good foundation I feel which was established by my UPbringing..I’m still a work in progress(and I think with any /everything we should always strive to improve on it) but I’ve come a VERY long way. From my mental position to stroking my emotional/sensitive inner child to treating my body right(which takes FAR more work than it did when I was in my 20s..) I’m constantly evolving and still striving to reach the max of my God given life purpose.. This song says pretty well what I feel about myself at this point. Plus it is a brand new song by one of my fave artists on earth@Alicia Keys. Enjoy…
Any1 who knows/loves me knows I make the BIG 5*0 this coming July 4th..Yep, firecracker for sure out the gate. N though I’m not yet quite 50 yrs old I’m ready 2 talk about the anticipation of making IT. Almost there should qualify me as able to speak on it or least thats the way I see IT. Another 1 to stay tuned for N it will be well worth the wait..~Coming Soon but not soon enough..~Alright I’m back! N going to let the words/my vibe flow..
Listening to Quincy Jones Ultimate Collection & for younger folks reading this that translates to REAL MUSIC..Hope ya’ll go retro sometimes with your music selections 2 truly enjoy how gooood music used to be. But anywayz onto the topic at hand. I’m going to try to properly express why I (a) HATE when I hear the term@50 is the new 40s or even 30s(what the heck?) (b) why knocking on 50 yrs of age doesn’t suck.
WHY is it that people simply can’t enjoy the NOW? As IF being in the “right here N now” is a bad thing! Oh, but how I’ve personally evolved(and am still evolving..) since my 20s. Lawd only knows! (as do my parents /loved ones/including 2 friends who have known me for 20 plus years) For I cried, literally, the entire day of my 29th birthday. As If somehow that was going to stop me from turning 30. I felt such a sense of loss leaving my 20s behind…and yet now? I wonder with awe how I could’ve been so terribly naive and afraid of aging. Now? I’m doing my very DA*Mdest to age with grace…gently gliding into the next phase of my life journey. 50! An entire 5 decades older. Half a century…WOW. When I was in my teens 30 was OLD. When I was in my 20s 40 was OLD. Now that I’m on the very doorstep of 50..it just IS. Its not OLD. Its not over-the-hill either(hate that phrase too!) It simply just IS the next phase I’m moving onto. The things that I cherish now are the very same things I took for granted in my 20s..I’m more appreciative of simple things now. Like the mere fact BOTH of my parents are alive N well. I am STILL 2 this day learning from my parents(take note of that younger folks…) As independent-mode-minded as I went crashing out into the outside world from home at almost 20 yrs of age..I! never would’ve thought 1 day I’d stilllll be learning from my parents at dang near 50. Soaking UP their wisdom/experience like one would sopp up gravy with a biscuit(don’t ya’ll do that?? I do…) I’m guessing 1 of the benefits of making it to 50 is learning that one NEVER stops learning. Once-upon-a-time I was naive enough(the audacity of being youthful/young!) to think I knew it ALL. Pfft. Still 2 this day I don’t know it all; and thank God(& my lucky stars) I finally came to that realization.
50 is NOT the new 30s or 40s. 50 is 50. Period. N yep, big ole exclamation mark. The beauty of making it to 50 is finally feeeeeling the freeeedom to say what I truly feel. Still try to say it with RESPECT(for thats part of my nature..) however, there was a time I was such a people-pleaser(still am in alot of ways) that I’d worry about how they’d feeeel if I said what was really on my mind. NOT anymore. Now? If you don’t want 2 know my true opinion please do NOT ask me a question. An outstanding brother & lifetime friend of mine once taught me”Never ask a question that you don’t want the answer to” Hmmm lets think about that for a minute. WHY do people ask questions yet their hair is blown back when we answer HONESTLY? Don’t they really want to know our thoughts when they ask us a question? Most times I’ve found folks really don’t…But thats their problem; not the person they ask the question of. Or least thats the way I see it now. Personally I’ve learned in my almost 50(yep FIFTY) years is I learn SO much when I ask questions N usually I ask them of people who can give me a sound/experienced answer. I’m thirsty for knowledge still at this age! Its almost as if I’ve reverted back to the primary years in the amount of “stuff” that I am soaking up. From every angle, direction, resource..including from other folks behavior/actions/words. IF there is anything “new” about turning 50 for me it is that . In my 20s & 30s I thought I knew it all so I could’ve honestly cared less to seeeeek others out for knowledge. I felt I was getting that from books..(I’m a lifelong avid reader) How much I thought I knew and in reality knew so little..
Again, 50 is NOT the new 30s or 40s. 50 is 50. And inofitself that is a beautiful thing! Personally? As fit as I was in my 20s & 30s I feeeeeel better physically NOW then I have in my entire life. And thats a mouthful folks…I might not be able to climb tall mountains; but I dang sure feel like I can! I didn’t reach my peak like some people do in their 40s..I am there right NOW. N I’ve not even reached the top of the wave yet..In surfer-dude terms I’m riding the waveeeeee. And I am attempting to DO all I said I was going to do waybackinmy20s. Finally! 2 be able 2 have finally arrived at that point, this phase, is for me “almost” too overwhelming to even try to describe in words. It IS that good 2 me. I could give some advice now to the younger folks reading this. I could try to explain what they’ve got to loooook forward 2 at 50 yrs of age. But honestly? I feel everyone’s experience is different. As different as we are as individuals so are our life experiences. And how we perceive our life experiences..I will say this. 2 anyone reading this but especially those generations behind me. ENJOY every moment of your life! Realize early on that every single, day! is a gift to YOU from GOD. Don’t take it for granted even though in our youth taking things for granted IS what alot of us do…including me. Listen!/learn/respect your parents always…their love/support will sustain you for LIFE. Remember as you become parents that parenthood is a LIFElong committment. It never ends…And take ALOT of pictures of your children when you bear children..for they’ll grow faster than you want them to. GET your education so that you’ll be armed to support yourself and your dreams. Surround yourself always with people you admire/respect/have good morals/make sound judgements. Walk away from people who yearn to pull you down or away from your goals. Gain an early knowledge/regard/honor to the Father that created YOU. And sustain that relationship throughout your entire life. It is the ONE relationship in your life you can’t do without..N last but not least LOVE,LOVE,LOVE and LOVE hard and deeeeply! Starting with YOURself..for love is the true meaning/basis of what life on this earth is about. Or least that is my most sincere and heartfelt feelings on that matter..
Finally 50 is 50. Its a beginning of a different phase of life for me. A phase I’m very cognizant of N that I look 4ward to with the energy N joy of a small child on CHRISTmas morning! If there is anything new about turning 50 it is my new appreciation of every facet of life. I’m looking back alot less these dayz. Looking backwards will cause one to fall down N I’ve no intention of doing anything except standing firmly and moving ONward and UPward. I’ve yet 2 reach the max of my God given purpose. I’m far from finished..When I do reflect on the past 5 decades I reflect on the beautiful memories! The THREE beautiful, Black, young , gifted, intelligent, artistic, brothers I helped to create & co raise. My Black Princes for life…I reflect alot on their smiling childish faces, their 1st steps!, their 1st haircut, teaching them how 2 drive, studying with them till wee hours of the morning hours, watching them play an array of sports, attending PTA meetings for their success/joining school boards for their success/watching them play in bands/watching them accept honor roll awards yr after yr after yr/experiencing their mishaps WITH them/listening to their 1st love stories/driving them 2 their 1st college and having to leave them there..OMG that was tough for me../watching them with PRIDE graduate from high school and college after college after college..progress!..50 is 50 for a reason. To begin anew & fresh and leave the bad memories behind. Finally! To take all the lessons we learned from our mis-steps and realize God 4gives all mistakes and actually doesn’t call them mistakes. I think he calls them…LIFE. I can’t speak for anyone else that is 50 but for me I’m living my dreams N loving my life. Every single minute of it…I wish I could bottle this feeling UP and give it to others. I can’t. But I can share of me with my words…and I hope my words have made someone else’s day a little bit better . Stay UPlifted N blessed ya’ll. N remember 2 count your blessings 2day N everyday. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)