Something happened very recently, and I heard of it today, which brought this topic to mind..And I can’t let go of it..So figured I might as well write it out here. I thought about adding a disclaimer first so as not to offend anyone..But decided against it. These are my raw feelings on the matter of Faith..Based on my beliefs and experiences. Before I dig in let me give a brief, brief personal background ..Yes, I am a Christian. I’m a very active & involved practicing Catholic. Exclamation point. Period. Moving right along>>
Recently death has knocked on the door of my life. In my immediate family. In my loved ones immediate family. In my friends/coworkers families. In my church sisters/brothers families..I’ve been known to say I don’t deal well with death. Not to say anyone does; but I really don’t. I never know quite what to say; although my immediate reflex is to nurture & comfort. I’m old enough to know death is a natural part of LIFE..And as a Christian I’m supposed to trust 100% that it is God’s will being done & he’s calling his children home. Right? Sounds good. Looks good in print..But why then am I so heart-sick when a loved one dies? Why do I get heart-sick, especially when hearing someone has lost a parent? Why is the first thing that comes to mind when that happens..’God please don’t let my parents DIE anytime soon. I’m not ready! There is so much I’ve yet I want to spend time doing WITH my parents. IF either of my parents were to die soon I will NOT be able to handle it‘..>>
I profess to love God with all of my heart & being. And I do! My faith in God has grown from a mustard seed ; to a mighty big forest! And yet..this one area@ Death? I admit I’m very shaky..Very. Is it worse to lose someone unexpected to death? Or does it hurt just as bad either way? I’ve heard varying stories on both sides of that coin. I’ve tried my best to talk about this topic to get a deeper understanding..But still the thoughts that prevail in my mind when it becomes personal? ‘God please don’t let my parents or my sons DIE anytime soon!’ Each time the subject comes up , I’ve added more onto the list..>>
I’ve experienced spiritual awakenings that were as REAL to me as real can get..I am a Believer..I’ve trusted in God to take the reins of my life this past couple years..With remarkable results. I am a Believer! And yet? I admittedly struggle with this subject matter @ Death. My questions have questions. I’m feeling guilty because I’ve so many questions. Why do we grieve for our loved ones IF we’re truly Believers? Does that mean one isn’t a Believer 100% if they grieve? Shouldn’t WE rejoice that our loved one has gone onto be with Our Creator? >>
Again for the record I’ll say it one more time..I Believe. I Believe in God. God hears my prayers; and I pray ALOT. I Believe in miracles; I have lived a couple myself. I’ve held a miracle baby(our youngest) in my own hands(3 lbs at birth) I Believe in love & sharing love & spreading LOVE..But I still struggle with the concept of Death..I don’t properly know how to comfort someone who has suddenly lost someone..NO words seem to be enough nor the perfect words to say. I best handle death by not attending funerals..(except for close family or extended family) I realize this isn’t a healthy way to deal with it though..Yet it is how I cope with it. The topic of death has risen in my life once again. Today. Thoughts are swirling around in my head about it; and I pray. ‘God please do not let my parents DIE anytime soon nor my sons nor my X’s nor my X in laws nor my extended family of friends NOR anyone in my life. I’m just not ready to part with ANY of them. ‘ This is probably a selfish way of thinking..For it isn’t my right to deny anyone the chance to move on to greener pastures..And since that IS the case why do we grieve? Which leads me to my last question. Is grieving a sign of being a Believer or not? I Believe therefore I should not grieve? It is no small wonder explaining death to a small child is difficult..I’m a grown woman of 50 & admit I don’t handle it well. Mayhaps no one does. Perhaps death is meant to always be one of the mysteries of this Life Journey..Just maybe it is something we’ll only truly understand when it happens to us. Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever Sincere, Berna(the 1 & Only)
Berna's Vibe~The Way I See IT.... 
Hi Berna!!!
I used to have a similar relationship with death like you do until I lost my father. Now I have frequent discussions about death. I’m studying it and trying to understand it’s contribution to the human condition. I feel like knowing of death and accepting as a natural course of life, we must all face death one day, and Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice by conquering death. And I’ve also learned that going to funerals is important. It forces us to look at our lives more deeply. I’ve attended funerals and been inspired by the life that passed on, and been challenged to also live better. Ultimately, death teaches us to not take anyone for granted, because you never know when you’ll see them again.
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Waving Bupe!!! @…” Ultimately, death teaches us to not take anyone for granted, because you never know when you’ll see them again..” >>>WOW, you said a mouthful..You know what? I truly believe in that..This past 2 years has been the first time in my adult life I’ve been in the same city as my parents. I’ve always been cross-country…Since I’ve been here? I’ve hung more with my folks & their 70ish group of friends than people of my own age..and even friends are saying jeeeez you’re close to your parents. I really am Bupe..I cherish, so cherish these times..I cherish that I do have living parents who are healthy & so active..I love it! I love being able to go to my parents house, home!, for Sunday dinners.I love singing in the Gospel choir with my parents! I love going to all of the celebrations/gala’s/fraternity events & whatevers with my parents..Honestly? I thank God that he led me here; it was nothing short of a miracle to rip me away from California..So I wholeheartedly agree with you and I don’t take anyone in my life for granted..No one..And the good news? My large pool of friends from coast to coast(including both of my X’s back in Cali ; who in the world is still friends with their X’s? Loll) and all of my loved ones know I treasure every moment with them..Yet? I don’t know if I’ll be going to the funeral this weekend(and that is what motivated me to write this post)..I recall reading some of your posts of your grieving your Father’s death..We connect and I love that. WordPress has brought me special new friends..xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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Sorry to hear of your loss.
And I don’t need to say it, but you’re a blessed woman! It’s a truly special thing to have such a healthy and close relationship with your family.
Take care!
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Yep, church sister and came really, really tragically & unexpected…Impacted many that are near & dear to me(I didn’t know her well) If its been requested of the choir to go, I may have to swallow my fears & go..Hate to see people grieving..Recently went to my Aunt’s funeral & as eldest grandchild I had to suck it up & nuture my younger cousins..Though? As I comforted them & said words to them to help them get over loss of their mother? I realized what a hypocrit I was..I daresay none of the words of comfort I said would comfort me had it been the loss of my parent..But its stories shared , like yours, that teach me/show me how it is supposed to be done. Thank you for sharing such precious thoughts. I appreciate; always
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Pedophilia is not a “Catholic problem” and I will leave it at that. It is a societal problem.
Yes, death is a natural part of life. Grieving is not necessarily a faith issue. While we often look at it or experience it in connection with a physical death of someone, grieving is about separation. If my faith leads me to believe that that person is better off, that’s okay. But I can still grieve the loss in my life. This is a human emotion that wedal have and express in different ways. There is no formula for grieving that works for all of us. And again it is about separation, not simply death.
And also know that to feel sympathy or empathy for someone else for their loss is not necessarily grieving. It is a human response to the sufferings of others to feel compassion for them.
And if regurgitating is a natural part of dinner… You need to get that checked.
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I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that your explanation & interpretation would be something that would bring this topic into better focus for me..Maybe I should’ve just saved it for a time I could discuss it with you offline..But we all seem to be so tight on free time these days..Btw when you get a chance please check your email; we’re trying to settle on the 18th…P.S. I felt the same way about that regurgitating comment ; but got so caught up in responding I didn’t bother to mention
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Death is never a natural part of life. Death is dying, which has nothing to do with life. I never figured out how or why folks say “death is a natural part of life.” Thats like saying regurgitating is a natural part of dinner.
I won’t even comment on catholics. Or rather, those at the head of the catholic church.
Hope you handle your experience with death….these are the comments of one who has no faith. 😉
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You are totally correct@Death isn’t a natural part of life..I got caught UP in emotion writing..What I meant & should have written was, Death is a natural part of the Life process..It is the end of life on this Earth..Which I don’t Believe is the end all either..But that is another topic for another time.
You should know by now I appreciate your comments on any & every topic. And that is whether we agree or agree to disagree..Now that you’ve brought it up I’m rather curious@What your comments would be if you were to comment on the Catholic Church. But I’ve learned not to push with you; for there must be good reason you didn’t make the comments. See how quickly I learn? 🙂
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Catholic Church: A sexual predator organization. Those not actually pedophiles are protecting/hiding/supporting pedophiles. Very simple. If The Boy Scouts were accused of exactly what the Catholic Church were accused of….there would be no more Boy Scouts Of America. Lastly…if it’s good to punish Jerry Sandusky….
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Ahhh I didn’t want to assume; but kind of sort of figured those might be your thoughts on the Catholic Church…You might be surprised to know I partly agree with you..The part I agree with is that ANY person who is accused of & found guilty of molestation should BE behind bars..Matter of fact I feel they should be underneath the prison..Actually honestly? I think they should be castrated & then put on an island far , far away with only themselves on it. Remember back in the day though when criminals were cast away from a country & they then formed another one? It was/is called America..I’ve a strong, strong feelings about those who abuse/use/molest small children and toss into that group rapists..I seriously think there is a special place in hell for them. Having said that? I also do NOT believe that any sour jacked up apples; means the entire lot of apples is sour or screwed up. IF that was the case? Then ALL politicians would be untrustworthy and foul as I feel repugnants are. All car salesmen would be shady; and I personally know that to be untrue. All law enforcement officers would be racist power -struck folks who beat up on innocent people. All lawyers would be blood-sucking-ambulance chasers..And the list goes on and on…Likewise? The Catholic Church isn’t flooded with pedophiles..Society however just gets off more on the foul & those are the ones who have made the headlines..There are far more that are doing good works & feeding their flocks spirituality
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If the pope and his appointed minions refuse to prosecute pedophiles, I blame all the damn apples. Lets stop while we are still speaking because I despise anyone who defends the actions of the catholic church. If you are a member of a religion that practices pedophilia…
I will shut up now. I admire you so no religion talk,
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Religion talk , politic talk, talk about the differences between men & women; all topics that can divide folks IF they allow it to…It is one of the reasons a great deal of people won’t discuss religion or politics on their job..Things CAN get heated..But I like to think intelligent people can have a discussion about anything..However, I’ve seen in my lifetime that theory blown straight to crap!..
I’ll say this in parting on this topic with you….I try HARD not to make sweeping GENERALIZATIONS..I try HARD not to toss an entire group down the drain; because a few of them are F’ed UP..Know why? Because truth be told IF I did that? i’d not be part of ALOT of things..Real talk Jueseppi..Quite frankly I’d not ever want to be married again, IF, I considered all men deadbeat fathers/rapists/lying/CHEATING dogs..Because yep, I’ve experienced all of the above in men. IF I considered all politicians to be selfish/racist/rich-without-a-clue-about-us-poor-folks; I’d give UP my right to vote! IF I considered ALL White folks to be the racist pigs I’ve encountered in my lifetime..I’d dump my very best friend of almost 30 years; and never trust another White person in my life..I don’t think all college coaches should be mistrusted just because Sandusky is a filthy pervert..And the same goes for the Catholic Religion..It leaves a sour nasty taste in my mouth when I think of the awful things done to children..I hate IT when I hear of anyone doing IT…But I’ll tell you this much..I did NOT believe the rumors against M.J. when he was accused by many..And I thought long & hard about that before I made my decision..I also thought long & hard about staying in the religious Faith I was brought into as a baby..Last year? I was confirmed in as an adult. I believe in the Catholic Faith . It was the 1st for a reason. I believe in what it stands for..And I believe that means that it is far more than the few bad apples that are in it..Like anything that can be factual. Matter of fact I’ll take this line of thought would step further..IF I were to consider my own race; based on the ugly, prejudice comments & envy from them? I’d hate being Black..I’d consider the group and not just cast aside a few folks who don’t have good sense nor cultural understanding…Yet? I love, LOVE being Black with all my being.
By the way I admire you also. Lets agree never to talk about religion again.
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I lump all catholics in the same basket based on the way all catholics defend the catholic church Berna. If you wouldn’t sit, talk, laugh and share a meal with a pedophile….why would you worship, defend and protect a pedophile?
Members of the catholic church permit this assault on humans by ordained priests by doing nothing. By remaining members.
My last word on this is simply this….if you say nothing, do nothing, continue as if nothing is wrong….you are enabling.
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First things first..I don’t worship ANY person on Earth…I do NOT defend nor protect pedophiles from ANY religion, race, profession or walk of life..I said as much in my prior post Jueseppi..I also said, which you either missed or don’t care to read between the lines; I’ve been a victim of a molester/rapist before I was even 18 yrs of age. THIS is and will always will a very person topic for me..
I’ll say this to your enabling comment..How do you know I’ve said nothing? And I ask you this? When folks from OTHER countries ask YOU or any of us; how we could be part of a country that promotes racism and hatred and is taking our liberties away one by one; and yet WE stay? Would you say that is continuing along as if it is a perfect situation? Naw, it isn’t perfect. Nothing IS Jueseppi..For all any of us know ANY living person on this planet, including folks we admire, respect! could BE doing Ungodly things behind doors…
There are many atrocities that take place in our country, a country of my birth that I love, that I am very VERY much against..But I don’t believe in tossing out the baby with the bath water…I’d not partake in anything that I felt was majority F’ed, jaded, and evil. Some of the very BEST people with good hearts, working steadily DOing good works for other people in need, and just dang excellent positive progressive people from the top of their heads down to their toenails are Catholic..That matters to me a great deal; and looking from the outside in & lumping an entire group of people based on a few funky apples just isn’t logical nor sound judgement …Least that is my opinion and take on the matter. It is obvious we won’t ever agree on this topic & that is cool with me. I’m going to be a practicing Catholic with or without anyone’s permission or approval..It is working very, very well for me. Very. Moving forward to the next topic with you..
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You are still a member of the catholic church, like being a member of the KKK and saying you speak out against racism…..to me. I am done, you win and good luck with facing Christ as a catholic. Christ is against everything the pope and his priest stand for.
You win this one Ms. Berna. Peace Be Still.
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I am blessed; so I don’t need luck Jueseppi…I am a VERY proud & actively involved Catholic & actively involved community member..Very..So there is not still a member; I am a member of the very FIRST religion Jueseppi…It is hardly the same as your analogy…As I’m sure you’d say WHEN foreigners say Americans are ALL a dumb, ignorant lot..Most can hardly speak English well, let alone, 4 to 5 languages as others from other countries..And so ill-read vast majority know NOT the history of the their own country…And that’s just the start of things I am sure folks from other countries can LUMP us all into…Those sweeping generalizations are a Mofo when it gets personal, huh? Just think about the great big ball of wax we’re lumped into as Black folks ; because some sit on their fannies on welfare generation after generation after generation…Yep, I’m a member of the Catholic church & I can say without hesitation or doubt it is NOT riddled with jacked up apples….I refuse to let you have the last word on this one Jueseppi. Politics I’ll let you have the last word all day & all night..But not this one
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😉
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Good thing having the last word is not needed when facts and truth are your last word huh.
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Jueseppi? Dear pal who I admire from afar…I’m going to table dialogue with you; until I hit your spot later on. For a minute we need to get back to the topic of our first link up..Politics & Obama & Obamacare & World events, and every other important thing in the world other than religion . I’m finished till then. Hugs!
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😉
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You may have the last word.
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🙂
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