**I adore this topic..A good friend of mine said it was a must read years ago & he was right. Gary Chapman’s ‘The 5 Love Languages’ is one of the BEST books I’ve ever read..Do you know your love language? Do you know that its difficult to maintain a relationship; IF your spouse/significant other doesn’t know your love language? Later in this post I’ll reveal what my love language IS..never know my future last husband might be reading this! And hopefully ya’ll will share or reflect on what yours is..
^Before I get into my informal review of the book; I’m dropping a link for ya’ll to possibly discover what your love language IS. Just in case you don’t yet know ..Simply click on the link to take a brief, fun!, quiz to figure out what your love language is>
~Many of us have relationship questions prior to entering we (I) wonder…Is there a way to know if we’re a match? Once in a relationship we(I) wonder..How is it possible to keep the love strong & solid? Falling IN love isn’t something we have control over; but it takes a concerted effort to stay IN love. Mayhaps knowing what one’s own love language is could help in countless ways; those of us who want a HOME RUN when next we fall *in love* for the last time..Lets dig a bit deeper>
Personally, I don’t know what the statistics are for couples 2 share the same love language(s). And while I do know that opposite can surely attract; I feel when opposite love languages exist it takes more than communication to overcome. Ever wonder WHY your spouse or significant other just doesn’t seem to understand what you’re communicating? Ever heard the saying that sometimes love isn’t enough to make things work out forever? Been there, done that..and thankfully we’re still great friends. However , much as I adore my wonderful friends; I’m SO ready to be *in love* one last time…I’m also ready to do what it takes to make it last 4ever…So how does one identify & learn to speak their significant other’s love language? How does one learn what their own love language is? Allow me to dig yet a little deeper>
^First, let me say(especially since I know my ex reads me here, lol!) I’ve had wonderful love relationships. In order to have closure; I had to figure out what went wrong for it to end in friendship & the love didn’t maintain itself. Honestly? I think we just didn’t understand what the other’s love language was..Thus! we loved, loved!, loved yet there were needs not being met(I’m not talking about the physical needs…) Knowing & meeting those needs is the key to long, lasting love relationships. Or so it is my belief at this phase of my life. From my experiences & from seeing, first hand, how well my own parents marriage of 51 years works. (they can communicate without a word being said out loud…amazing to watch!) Yet, there is a far greater amount of folks who love each other ; who aren’t staying connected. And it is in those situations that sincerity plus love still isn’t enough…Staying IN love takes work! So lets tackle this list down quickly and I’ll use myself as an example. Ready? I am, so lets do this>
Words of Affirmation= For some folks actions do NOT always speak louder than words…Some folks need to hear the infamous 3 words said@ ‘I love YOU’. And they need to hear compliments, kind words, plenty of words of appreciation. Alot! Try this daily once you learn your partner needs this. IF you don’t; they’ll tend to lean towards someone who DOES. And when you’re in love with someone..this shouldn’t be a hard task at all. Personally? This is something I do naturally! Even with my loved ones, friends, coworkers. Honestly? I’d not be with someone who didn’t speak to me in this way naturally..thus, this is NOT one of my love languages. This is the basic way I communicate & its what I’m attracted to. My preference? ACTIONS do speak louder than words. IF you say you love me; yet don’t show me you love me then that speaks volumes to me. And I won’t stay in that relationship. Exclamation point. Period. Moving right along…
Gifts=There are some women who get off on receiving lavish gifts. There are some men who get off buying lavish gifts 4 women. Its not supposed to be mistaken for materialism; but the thought & effort behind the gift. I feel differently…so this is NOT my love language. I don’t feel my love can be bought with gifts. My love is priceless! Therefore there is no gift that can match that…Having said that I adore receiving gifts ; but I’m also just as likely to give gifts. Even something as unique as I am..like a framed poem I’ve written especially for my significant other. In my world a gift doesn’t have to be bought or purchased. A cobbler made in my honor(I loved that!) can bring a big kool-aid grin to my face.(even if I have to work out extra hours its worth it lol!) Or a handpicked bouquet of flowers can also melt my heart in an instant…it is the little things that matter more to me. Priceless! Moving right along>
Physical Touch=This is MY #1 love language. I’ll readily admit it. I’m a toucher. I even talk in an animated manner , with my hands, when I’m excited. I hug when I’m happy to see my friends/relatives/church family/coworkers even from time2time. I think one way we connect is by..touch. Otherwise we’d be robots. I think its why God gave us 2 hands; so we could touch twice as much. I love holding hands! IF I grab your hand when we take a simple walk; it means I like you alot. This , I think, stems from my Mom holding hands with us when we were younger…Or maybe I like touch so much because I was breast fed. I don’t really know “why”; I just know thats the way I’m wired. I feel most connected to my significant other; when a part of our bodies are touching one another. I learned this about myself and it is highly important to know about me. Enough on this topic because I could go on & on 4ever…
Quality Time= This is my #2 love language without a doubt. For me spending quality time 2gether makes me feel as special as I am…I dig it alot! It means you care enough about lil ole me; to give me your undivided attention. Or taking time to do something that you know matters to ME. Like reading my blog and learning more about what makes me tick. Major turn ON..A walk along the beach alone. A picnic planned for ‘us’ by my significant other. Anything that involves ‘just us time” with NO distractions. Cell phones off, no T.V.’s, no contact with the outside world. I love it and I love it alot!
Acts of Service=This love language is one in which a person likes to serve their partner…These things are done with love because one wants to please their partner by DOing for them. Its something that comes so naturally for me , that I don’t consider it as a love language of mine. My Mom is big on this one and passed it on to me..We do as an expression of our love not obligation.
Well folks thats a wrap! Hope you enjoyed something new you can use in your relationship/future relationship. I enjoyed writing it & re-hashing the book . Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)