Posted in WOW

*****I’m Just Saying…*****What The Rest of Ya’ll Thought But Didn’t Say^

Ever thought something & WISH you could say it? But the timing was off? OR better yet, U didn’t think about it until you walked away? Its time to sound OFF and let it flow from celebrities to politics..This is the way I see IT>

Starting off the top of my pet peeve list is…WHY do Americans have SUCH a fascination for NON-TALENTED folks? Enough so to make them into filthy-rich celebrities! From Sarah Palin to the Kardashians..OMG, when did the word socialite become a nice word for ‘whore’?!? How do you go from being part of a leaked out SEX video to becoming a news flash almost every , single day? I’m not even a big T.V. watcher; but I’m SO tired of seeing the Kardashians faces when I pull up my browser. I have no use for their trashy looking clothes line, their sex sweat smelling perfume, their heavy caked-on make-up line, their boring, drab reality show…I mean they can’t even act! How in the world do they end up hawking all these products? Shouldn’t the prerequisite for being a celebrity be having a TALENT? Lawd! I’m just getting started>

Talk about double standards..Lindsay Lohan has made a complete mockery of Cali’s 3 strike rule..Law even! If a Sista had even thought! about pulling half the stunts Ms Lohan has; she’d be tossed UNDER the prison. A home-monitoring bracelot? Pfft! As IF..Lindsay is a prime poster child for someone crying out LOUD for help; and the system? Has bowed down to a pretty blonde face..not cool, not right, and not a good example for the rest of today’s generation. Laws should apply , rightfully, to everyone..No matter how pretty or rich..The sad thing is she has more than enough money to get what poor folks with addiction issues can’t afford=great counseling at a live in rehab. No shame in having an addiction problem; but shame on Lindsay for not womaning-UP and seeking help. *smh*(shaking my head)

Where to even begin with this joke of the century? Can’t really blame her though; our country SUNK to a whole new level to let this one slip through the cracks..Turned us all into a complete laughing stock for ALL other countries.Jeeeeeez. Every time I think about it I still can’t believe IT..For those folks out there who talked smack about the way things are; yet didn’t VOTE. *slapping forehead* You’ve NO right to whine about any of it; so just sit back and hush! For those that VOTED for this ‘sad excuse for a so -called-quitter-politician’ WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Thankfully folks had their heads out of the sand, woke UP, and handled business this last time at the polls..And please my people NO more voting-by-hormones & lets promise to always use our brains instead. Alright, enough said on that topic. (don’t want to give her more keystrokes than she deserves) Moving right along. Ready?>

IF you’ve got a child whose is over 18 yrs old; yet under 26 yrs old/in college fulltime & needs health insurance due to only working part-time (my hand raised I’ve got 2 of them..) then say thank you to the Obama administration…I’ve dubbed this Administration the “right NOW” administration! Why? Because for once instead of waiting years & years after a term is over; this President is somehow! getting things accomplished right NOW. And, mind you, that’s with a steady flow of opposition; to..well..everything! Ever heard of any crap like that? The repugnants are opting to err on the side of retarded..oppose everything. Just because it is President Obama sitting in the TOP seat. I mean don’t folks realize that means even the GOOD stuff ; they’re opposing it?! *smdh* Whether YOU could benefit from it or not; BOLD indeed…IF you’ve got college loans to pay off; you’ve now got longer to do so. IF you were a victim of the housing crisis fallOUT; there are many programs to help you stay in your house. Foreclosure counseling , at NO cost, to help you to re-modify your home loan. Provided courtesy of the Obama administration. And the list goes on & on & on…

I once worked with a woman who worked a 2nd job; just to support her son’s ‘habit’ of only wearing name brand clothes(including $150 tennis shoes) As she was explaining to me he’d NOT wear anything else; I know I had a look of horror on my face. How could a reasonable, intelligent woman fall into such a trap? I mean ..really???? I don’t recall exactly what I said..but it was something like ..Are YOU kidding me? IF he were my child he’d either a. go butt naked. b. go butt naked. c. WEAR WHAT I BUY HIM. When did parents stop being parents? And when did parents start willingly help their kids to build UP bad habits? Anyone ever stop to think the markUP on tennis shoes alone is 200%. And only in America! They make the shoes for 1 iota of the price Americans will pay  here..Why buy something so expensive just cause its got a celebrity name attached? Why not put that same money aside for the child’s future college costs? I can’t recall the last time I paid for price for clothes or shoes..I refuse. And I am a clothes horse; but I can patiently wait for it to go on sale. And I do..alot. lol!

And last but not least, for now, this is my whopper pet peeve>

Is this just something that just happens to me? Or do ya’ll park wild! so that no one else can park on top of U; and yet! somehow, every single time..I kid you not..someone finds a way to park right on top of me! OMG I hate that..I’m slim but danggggg its tough to squeeeeze into my car, in heels & skirt or dress during the week..because some ILL-mannered person can’t take a hint. I don’t get it. And I try, with all my might, to park far, far away from alllll the others cars..there can be a ton of empty! spots in between my car and the front door..no matter what not once do I walk outside and my car is alone. Message to any of those parkers! reading this?!? PARK BETWEEN THE YELLOW LINES because that is what they are for, pretty please. Jeeeeez. Moving right along to the rest of the vehicular offenders>

whydriveunderthespeedlimitFrom bumper -riding 2 drag-racing in front of me; and then! driving at a snail pace..ya’ll know who YOU are. Enough is enough..get a clue & learn how to drive with road courtesy. Why come I always seem to get all of the above, when I’m least in the mood for it?!? All I want to do is get to work ALIVE or get home after a long grueling 8 -5 day or get to the MALL or anywhere I am driving..never in a mood for cluelessness. And for the love of all thats good on this earth; NOTHING is that important that YOU can’t wait till you get home to text it. Only thing more annoying than a non-driving person in my way; is to see them texting-while-driving-or -trying-to-hold-a-cell. Can’t wait till they make it against the law here; to even drive with a cell phone in hand. BUT why does it take slapping a monetary fine on folks; for them to do the right sensible , responsible thing?

One last thing before I wrap this UP..I drive a shiny , new, cute!, absolutely red compact car…SUV’s try to run me off the road rushing to probably no where important…So this is my parting message especially for ya’ll.

Posted in "Just for fun", WOW, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

*******For the LADIES eyes only…********

Guys IF ya’ll peek in at this topic; don’t say I didn’t warn you! I’m on ONE tonight about a topic only a woman would understand…Ya’ll ready for this? I feel a *rant* coming on…so buckle up & hold onto to your hats & wigs..

Alright now you’ve been warned twice..This is for grown folks only so cover your kids eyes(hopefully ya’ll censor what your kids view on the Net…) and if you’re sensitive to sensitive female *issues*; you might want to click off now. I’m a woman and LOVE being a woman. I’m the true epitome of feminity…and yep, pink is my fave color! Nonetheless, having said that; there are a couple things about being a woman I could do withOUT. Ya’ll ready? Here I go here is the first & probably most sensitive of topics>

IF there is a woman out there that enjoys having a time of the month; also known as a “period”..Please stand UP. I’d like to see U in the flesh. Because in ALL of my days on earth; I’ve yet to meet ONE woman who likes having a period. Even on a good day! Even without cramps, bloating, mood swings from hell, headaches,backaches!!!!, more bloating, tender breasts,more cramps, and irregularity so one never knows when its going to make its monthly appearance..omit all of that and I’m still willing to bet there isn’t a woman alive who wouldn’t rather NOT having to have a period. And I mean sans a pregnancy. Having said that…

Of those women out there who would rather NOT have a period…Wouldn’t it be great to turn the tables for just one little month?!? I think , in all fairness, that MEN should have to have ONE period in their lifetime. Just one..and while I understand the biological process of both sexes..IF there were anything I could change it would be that. I love men, with all of my heart and every ounce of my BEING, but I sincerely think they’d be able to empathize with women more if they could just experience it. Once! Don’t you just hate when someone says ‘I know what you’re going through?’ And you know they don’t! But you want to be polite ; so you just smile & nod your head? Well, that is one thing a man SHOULD be able to know what it is to go through. They walk around alllll month long with no worries about a *surprise visitor* No worries about what to wear due to bloating & discomfort. No worries due to any monthly biological process. And while I simply adore being a woman I just don’t think that’s fair..I’m not a violent person, by far. Never even used physical discipline for our sons..but as sure as I sit here tonight IF I could throttle EVE..I would. OMG what was she thinking?!? And to add insult to injury>

When is IT going to end? Lawd! I’ll be 50 yrs old in July and there apparently is NO end in sight..UNreal. The true insult IS we have to wait an entire year, 1 whole year, for it to truly be OVER. Are you kidding me? For a few months not even a tiny cramp; no nothing. I’m dancing on the table top! And then all of a sudden , out of the blue, bam! Cramps so bad I feel as if I’m going to deliver a baby. Which is highly impossible because I’m not doing what it takes to make one..I thought this crap was supposed to get easier? My doctor told me it could get worse due to how young I started & could be the reason its taking SO long to STOP forever. *slapping forehead* Isn’t that the opposite of the way it should be? WHO made these rules? I daresay it was a woman thats for sure…And why are there pills for a man to get an erection? And NO pill for women to make their period STOP; when they no longer want to have children? I don’t get it…pharmaceutical companies are losing out on a gold mine!

Can anyone tell me WHY the breastfeeding in public issue has become an ISSUE? How many men would like to have to feed their baby in non-sanitary public bathroom?! Because that is the bottom line for what happens when Mom is out & about and her baby gets hungry…not every woman wants to use the TORTURE machine(I know because I used one years ago..) otherwise known as a breast pump. And its been statistically proven breast -fed babies are healthier; why aren’t we promoting it instead of demoting it? All because men can’t handle their libido anytime they see bared breasts? Use some discipline for heaven’s sake like the rest of us have NO choice but to do..Men being able to decide what a woman can or can’t do with her own body=Something is clearly wrong with that sentence. Which leads me to the next and last topic>

Disclaimer = This topic is all in good fun…But I have thought of these topics and wondered the whys…If it weren’t a man’s world would things be different? And how so? That is another topic for another time..Moving right along>

The bottom line IS..Until men can have a monthly period. Until men can carry a baby for 9 months. Until men have to go through the many ups & downs women experience biologically(most of us do this gracefully..) ;I do not feel men should have the right to say what women can /can’t do with their bodies. No one has that right..and IF the shoe were on the other foot..I feel it would be a NON-issue. For the guys that wound up reading this; don’t ya’ll have to honestly admit that also?Btw fellas I have mad regard and love for ya’ll, mwah & hugs! Thanks for being such good sports..though had U heeded my warning you’d not have read this post. Is it curiosity that killed the cat? lol! Wait , check the picture out below before answering that..

Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only) 🙂

Posted in WOW, ^Encouraging Words

~~~~~~~~Blogger Appreciation Moment~~~~~~~~

>Taking a break 2night from my normal blog a day adventure 2 give thanks & appreciation to my fellow bloggers…Never in a cazillion years could I have anticipated the many likes/blogging love/warm reception I’ve been shown in my brief time here as a blogger & comments /comment responses when I’ve interacted on your blog sites. This blogger appreciation *award* and post is dedicated in your honor..>YOU ROCK/OMG ya’ll have been fabulous!/& sincere thank you’s for the love & support

You’re all great-wonderful-SO talented as writers-poetically inclined poets-comical yet wise political watchers-pretty dang cool folks!

>>>>     FOOTNOTE= 4 anyone out there that thinks blogging IS easy, it is NOT. It takes a certain personality , concerted effort, time invested, somewhat steady focus, confidence! & in my case a sincere desire to want  to reach out 2 others..Plus loving to write helps a great deal. I can’t resist the itch 2 write..Inofitself its a form of self-therapy for me. Many times when I’m blogging I’m writing to myself almost as much as to ya’ll..I think it, free flow it, and when I write it I’m feeling it..when I read it it sinks totally IN. Even with the colorful, confident, vibrant, in-your-face-I’m-here! type of personality I’ve got it still takes MUCH confidence 2 feeeeel what I’ve got to share is special enough to share with the entire WORLD. And what most don’t know? I learned of this website while helping a friend while she constructed a blog site here for our church. Yep! as I was learning this site@ WordPress while blogging 4 our church Faith site..I fell in love with the site and decided to do what I’d long wanted to do. Start my own blog site=which I had to 1st quickly learn how to navigate this site and build my own page. WOW. As I’ve traveled and browsed the blog sites here I’m  WOWed so often by my fellow bloggers that in a quick minute? My list of fave blogs 2 read might as well just say ALL. Ya’ll continue to keep ME inspired, ya’ll teach me so much with your outstanding writing skills!, ya’ll continue to touch my HEART with your depth. In my heart of hearts I know I wasn’t led here by accident and thus wanted U all to know I appreciate each & every one of U ; you’ve made my experience here more than worthwhile. And? Until I write/read ya’ll later 2night stay UPlifted & blessed! 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 & only..)

Posted in @Cultural, FABulous 50 Bday anticipation.., LOVE, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

>I Want The Type of LOVE That Isn’t…Disposable

Single, Sexy, and very Smart..it is beginning to feel like a curse! In the love department. I’ll never get to write about fiction; because real life is FAR more exciting plus full of UNDANGbelievable moments..Hold onto your hats & wigs folks ! This might get a little raw and as always totally real..but I’m almost 50 yrs old I can say what I feel and mean & mean what I say. Right? Yep, I’m very right about alot more than I give myself credit for. Till now. Ya’ll ready for this? Ready..Get set..

 

Here i GO..This might very well come off as a rant, possibly even venting. I’d prefer to say it is a ..release of pent-UP unexpressed sentiment. Having recently relocated from the Right Coast to the Left Coast; I’ve finally! begun to like it here.  All is falling into place and I no longer(sort of..) feen for my beloved Cali. Truly dig the people here, have made FABULOUS friends here, and I love my JOB. And yet, for the 1st time in my life I seem to be attracting alot of married brothers! I don’t get it ..but I swear if ONE more approaches me , in anything-other-than-a-friendship-type-of-“thang”; I will scream! And I won’t be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth…I don’t think married guys realize the total and UTmost disrespect that is to a woman. Not to mention their wife..and on my pisstivity meter it rates a 10 out of 10.

Certainly we all know there are women who go after married men on purpose…They even see it as a personal challenge to go for unavailable and married men. Anyone who knows me knows that without a shred of doubt; I am NOT one of those women. I want, deserve!, and am patiently (trying dang hard not to fall off the wagon..) awaiting for my “the one” to find me. Maybe because this is the longest timeframe I’ve been single; I’m throwing off pheromones like crazy. Or least that is the line that someone recently used on me; as IF. I’d even go as far as to say, and I have, that I’m pretty vulnerable right about now(no matter how strong I project I am & feel I am) Nonetheless the type of love relationship I’m seeking does NOT include a married brother..and I’ll briefly attempt to explain why. >

First of all it makes me feel cheap and dirty! And I hope some of ya’ll are reading this..Mayhaps it will make ya’ll think twice about hitting hard on single women. As IF having a wife at home isn’t enough. And what the heck happened to the time when everyone WORE a wedding band?!? When I was married IF my husband had walked around without his wedding band on..it would’ve sent off a major alarm in my head. Although truth be told if your man is going to cheat; you could wrap his entire body in wedding bands & he’ll still cheat. A cheater will find a way to cheat in a locked room by themselves! Or so it is my belief…and yep I’ve got major issues with cheating-while-married. For a reason. It happened to me. Once upon a time long ago. And literally broke my heart into tiny fragmented pieces…(though we’re great friends now, forgiveness works wonders!)

Isn’t it quite unfair to dangle candy in front of a baby; and then say the baby can’t have the candy? That is exactly what it feels like to “think” someone is single; only to find out surprise! he’s charming/HOT/funny!/personality to die for but MARRIED. When in actuality that is something that should be well known from the get-go. I just feel anything less when approaching a woman is perpetuating a fraud. And one step further so are the married ones who say they’re cool with friendship..and then bam! Swooooop down and hit on a woman so hard it can quite literally take her breath away. Note: Insert the word “men” & “wife”  in the following picture..>

We all fall short of perfection. I get that; and I have my hand held UP high that I’m not perfect. I’ll say it one ‘mo time for the record. I don’t even strive to be perfect anymore. Being perfect would make me..boring. And if anyone reading this has met a perfect person; point them out I’d like to finally see what a perfect person really looks like. I say allll of that to say married folks can do whatever they please. I care less..do YOUR thing and do it well. BUT don’t include me in it. I want no parts of it. As IF I want to be next in line to be sitting at home; waiting on a husband who is working hard to get next to a single woman. Or mayhaps only I look at it from that perspective. It really does, for a minute, hurt my feelings that said married brothers would think that little of me. For a minute…then after that minute or so passes? I get MAD..especially if I felt the temptation. That leads me back again to level 10 on my pisstivity meter. I’m not there often; and I don’t like being there. Exclamation mark. Period

Someone recently said  something; and this saying is getting so OLD. I’ve tired of hearing it because I simply refuse to believe it. They said that all of the good brothers are either married; or in prison. NOT..I won’t comment on the either of those situations. What I will say is this. I exist/divorced & single & sexy, attractive & physically fit/and I’m a dang good woman. And I’ve got a couple single girl friends who are even more fabulous than I am.  So since we exist then there have GOT to be 3 HOT heckafied brothers out there also…and I know mine is looking for me. He is searching for me high & low. I can feel it in my bones. I’m thinking about getting a T -shirt that says “Here i AM baby & I waited just for U” Lol! Actually thats not a bad idea..

Bottom line is I love everyone..I truly, truly LOVE/admire/cherish/dig my brotha’s. And 99.9% of the time I get nothing but MAD, and I mean mad props, from my brothers. Including friendships that I treasure dearly..but I just had to add these thoughts as a footnote. Often times folks, including me, can do things that we don’t know offend others. I’m making it known, again, I find it highly offensive. Enough said…Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted and blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one & only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, @Cultural, LOVE, Post a Day 2013, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

~MANsharing..WHY are Black Women Supporting this?!?

This topic is as REAL as it gets! I’ve got a naturally nuturing/loving spirit..To love is part of my DNA..Anyone who knows me  can attest that I’ll literally give the shirt off my back to someone in need. And I have…without being asked I’ll give. Whether its money to someone holding UP a sign @will work for food…I’m a giver. And I feel we should all share of what we have to those in need; even if we’re close to broke our dang selves. BUT one thing I will NOT share, UNequivocally, is my MAN. I expect women to look..because I’ve got excellent taste..but do NOT touch him. Ever. And ever is a very long time. So read my lips so the message is clear..I won’t participate in MANsharing. But we all know it exists…It might even be common place for some. So much so there are jokes about it & many articles written on MANsharing among Black women.  I laugh alot! Probably more than the average person..but this is no laughing matter. And I’m so serious..I’m not down with O.P.P.(is that term even used anymore??? well if not I’m bringing it back) My man is considered Private Stock(a term my ex taught me 🙂 ) so flirt if you must because he’ll be HOT… (I’m single at the moment or certainly I’d not be writing on Valentine’s  evening. So this message is for when I start dating again.  lol! ) but do NOT touch my MAN…

Some of the terms, for lack of a better word, used to describe “love triangles” these days are: Main chicks, Side Chicks, Mansharing…For anyone who watches reality tv, which I don’t!, you might have seen some of this laid out in living color(and REALness) on the show”Love and Hip Hop Atlanta”..I ran across a narrative while on a Black website; I was interacting in a group online discussion about Black Love Relationships. And first let me say , OMG! To say my hair was blown back is an understatement…I had NO idea ‘polyamourous coupling’ could be considered an IN thing these days. Or least enough to have it shown on the boob tube. Backintheday we used to called those type of arrangements; open relationships or just plain ole cheating! But seems things have changed or have they?

These days apparently many women , in accepting their rights to sexual freedom and choice, are far less ashamed of those choices…even when they’re generally seen/portrayed as indecent. What usually happens when these love triangles or mansharing accounts are heard of or discovered!(sometimes by an un-assuming wife/girlfriend) the heavier side of blame is placed on the woman involved in the arrangement. She is scorned in some cases and called every name under the sun; except a child of GOD. I know because I’ve been on the flip side of that coin myself. Yep! I was once a very, totally “UNassuming” wife who got the surprise of my life..which also broke my heart into a cazillion pieces. But moving right along….

However, as we get to “the other side of feelings”; also known as getting over a broken heart or lost love..we begin to analyze the “entire situation” and often times can understand” somewhat” how that certain situation came about…Or least those of us that want to truly heal & forgive when we’ve been hurt by someone practice this. So anyways how does a 3rd party come into a marriage or relationship? Is it always KNOWN by the 3rd party that said man is married or taken? Are there women who prey on married men and consider them a challenge? Last but not least the question that begs to be answered…Are there rising numbers of MANsharing among Black women because of the shortage of BLACK men due to high rate of Black men behind bars in our country?!? Here is the take on those answers and the way I see it..

At this point in my life I’ve grown to believe things I never thought I’d believe when I was alot younger…Grey area DOES exist! I used to think everything was either Black or White. That everything either was or wasn’t..and that simply isn’t the case. I now believe that one person can be IN love with two people. Might seem like its impossible to alot of ya’ll out there…but that is because it hasn’t yet happened to you. You’ll have to trust me on this one. Also , I think sometimes folks get into “situations” and don’t know how to get out of them. Lets call it getting caught UP. I also think sometimes people that aren’t totally “satisfied” in a relationship can easily wind UP having an affair. BUT I also think some Sista’s have been duped by Brotha’s who don’t reveal the truth from the onset…Many a woman has probably, nope has!, gotten involved not knowing the man was married. Or the infamous statement IS= He’ll say he is married; but separated…In my opinion until the ink is wet on the divorce decree you’re still MARRIED. I told this brother that once who said he’d been separated for 3 years. 3 years! And as MUCH as I was digging him I said when you’ve gotten your divorce and IF I’m still single; give me a buzz. And he did!

In my heart of hearts I just think there is a way to conduct ourselves like we respect ourselves. Like a lady. Sounds corny but I mean it..Doesn’t mean we can’t have sex appeal or even flirt. Sex appeal is as natural as the air we breathe..IF you got it , then flaunt IT. But with some amount of decency and class. IF a woman doesn’t respect or honor her OWN self/body; how the heck can we expect a man do to the same by us?!? That answer is easy to see; even for a blind person.

For folks that are into poly-relationships..as long as its all mutually agreed upon..do your thing! Its a free country and you can have at it if you like…Not my style because the one thing in life I’m selfish about is my MAN. I do not nor will I share. Not yesterday, not today, and not whenever I get into my next/last! relationship. But for the Sista’s into chasing married men…or adding notches to some sort of married belt. What is going to happen whenever ya’ll settle down & finally get married?? What IF some marriedmanchasingsista comes along and snags YOUR husband??! What will you then think about women who have no issue DOing a married man? Sometimes we should think about the flip side of things; before we do them. Having a heart helps…and also karma is a B! The good news? One can repent and regroup for their past transgressions. That is the beauty of this life journey. Having said all of that there should be a couple unspoken Sista rules when dating…Ya’ll ready for this?

Rule 1. IF he only calls you during work hours of the day and not on the weekend at all. He IS married or in a relationship. And thus not worthy. Period

Rule 2. IF he tells you he is married but separated…I don’t care how many years. He IS still married. And thus someone else’s MAN. Legally. Period

Rule 3. IF he is the ex of a friend of yours…Not worth possibly ruining your relationship with your friend. I don’t care how fine or cute he is.

Rule 4. IF he asks for your number but can’t/won’t give you his. MARRIED. Run quickly from this situation before it even becomes a situation. Period

Rule 5. IF you know he is either married or taken…Walk away or just engage in friendship. Even talking or flirting with the idea of a relationship can lead to an emotional attachment. And getting emotionally attached or falling in love! with a man that isn’t available will drain you/block your blessings/and guarantee your heart will be crushed

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, @Cultural, Post a Day 2013, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

MORE Black Men in Prison; Than Were Enslaved in 1850<<

Can ya’ll believe that??? Believe it or not it is the “new”  norm..

““More African American men are in prison or jail, on probation or parole than were enslaved in 1850, before the Civil War began,” Alexander, an Ohio State law professor, recently told listeners at the Pasadena Branch of the American Civil Liberties Union….” Quote taken from article written March 2011 regarding stats in Michelle Alexander’s book>

Alexander’s seminal book, “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness” argues that prisons have become the latest form of economic and social disenfranchisement for young folks of color, particularly black men. In it, she grapples with a central question: If crime rates have fluctuated over the years and are now at historical lows, then why have rates of incarcerated men of color skyrocketed over the past 30 years? <

~For those that are just tuning IN..I’m utilizing the month of Black History Month to talk about Black specific topics that the masses either a. On a grand scale don’t want to think/talk about because “not” being aware is easier than dealing with reality b. Far too busy with their lives to worry about the lives of the future generation c. Just don’t care d. prefer to keep their heads in the sand and just tend to “self” e. don’t READ therefore honestly miss what goes on in the world around them. f. Are aware and are raising well-grounded /well-taught children/mentoring/outreach to the at-risk community, etc g. Did I leave anyone out?  Bottom line IS there is no time like the present; especially Black History Month to talk about some of “tougher” topics regarding Black America. What better place than in an environment that receives 402 MILLION readers of 4.1 BILLION pages a month? WordPress. A site I love dearly! A site I didn’t even know  how to navigate on a mere 3 months ago when I began here…I’m cognizant with EVERY single keystroke that my words here are a carbon print that will last forever…I don’t take that lightly. Now back 2 the topic at hand. I’m going to post a few alarming statistics and attempt to give this topic the due JUSTice it deserves…

Let that sink in for a minute into every pore of your being..

**The way I see IT is pretty simple. Any time you’ve got more people IN the penal system; than IN college(or in the education system period…) that surrounding/environment/society/and in this case an ENTIRE race/class/segment of society will suffer in a negative manner. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. And I’m far from being that..nevertheless as a Black Mother/Ma/Moms/Mom myself I’m beyond concerned about this issue. Even from the viewpoint of being an American citizen, born & bred & LOVE my country ’tis of thee   I’m frightened when I see the statistics. As a former state prison employee I cried MANY a tear seeing upclose and personal the young Black youth behind bars. Just weeped uncontrollably..mayhaps because I’m aware of the atrocious things that happen in prison is yet another reason I feel as I do. IF the current trend continues 1 out of EVERY 3 Black male adults will spend some time IN prison. I’m sorry folks but I see that as a reason to be alarmed..

Did you KNOW? That when many surveys are taken   by government agencies they “exclude” the people from prison population from their research & findings?!? When they’re added back into the equation it dramatically alters the picture of the  status of ..Black America. It isn’t a pretty picture. Over half of the 2.3 million people in American prisons are; BLACK. Even on a good day folks; how can that be a good thing? Just keep in mind there are NO good days behind bars..

DISCLAIMER: I’m NOT an advocate nor user of drugs. Nor am I saying that folks who break the law shouldn’t be PUNISHED..nonetheless there is a blatant “grey area” that mayhaps needs 2 be considered. <<<<

The question that BEGS to be answered is=WHY ARE SO MANY BLACK MEN LOCKED UP IN AMERICA? Well lets consider the war on drugs for a minute. By itself; the war on drugs has affected Black communities far more than others. Would you agree? There are increased arrests of Blacks for NON-violent offenses and yet…”There is NO evidence that drug use is dramatically different by race or ethnicity; but the pattern of arrests is very different. ” Quote from Ernest Drucker. Author of ‘A Plaque of Prisons’  Let that sink in for a minute…

Is it ANY small wonder, given the above happenstances, that as of Dec. 2012 ..a whopping 72% of Black American children are being raised in SINGLE parent homes?!? The media hypes up only the parts they like & dilute(or totally delete) the background info…yet! there is no excuse with the Internet ya’ll can’t do due diligence to find out the REAL scoop behind the scoop. What can WE do to stop this cycle ? My humble opinion is quite more than is being done on a grand scale..Often times when something seems SO monumental folks don’t know how or where to begin. The way I see it one by one we can do our part in various ways..Educate, educate, educate. For the remaining parents out there link UP together to raise YOUR children! Stop letting the boob tube, the internet, or their friends raise them…It is a parents JOB to arm a child with whatever they need to become PROductive good human beings. Don’t take on the task of being a parent if you’re not going to do the JOB. It is the most important JOB on the planet. Exclamation mark. Period..Far more than brand names clothes & overpriced tennis shoes children need guidance/discipline/and TONS of love. For folks who don’t have children mentor someone else’s. Even more so these days it truly takes a VILLAGE. My eldest son, who has NO children of his own AND is wrapping up his P H D, is presently going through the Big Brother interview process..to become a Big Brother. That is on top of his terribly busy schedule and mentoring his 2 younger brothers(my sons..) IF we all took on some small part to lend a hand; certainly the change can be great. At least that is the way I see it..

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, Post a Day 2013, WOW

>>BLOGGING is…<< WordPress DP Challenge*PostADay*

Blogging IS something I’ve quickly grown to love…Not only that I couldn’t have picked a better place to begin my new venture than WordPress! I’ve had an amazing 3 months here and of course I’ve got a few things to say about it. This is the way I see IT..

Deciding to BLOG isn’t an easy decision..least it wasn’t for ME. I was going to expose my most intimate and innermost thoughts/ideas/feeeeeelings. In a sort of way like being butt-naked and walking into a formal event! Can you imagine?!? Anywayz its been something I’ve wanted to do for quite some time now..for several reasons. To first & foremost share from my lifes’ journey with the youth..the good, the bad, and yep! the ugly. To nuture and share love is part of my natural DNA. However, I wasn’t quite sure how I’d be received or what I’d encounter..for I can be quite blunt and at this age say pretty much what I’m feeeeeling. Just flows off my lips and now my fingertips. And after all this is the internet! Took cajones(not literally for I’m all woman..) to join a website, with NO prior knowledge of how to even design a page(still learning; I can’t tell you from day 2 day what color my font will be lol!) and share parts of ME/my thoughts/my experiences/my original poems/my emotions  with the entire world. To be precise  I’m ONE in 60, 593,723 bloggers on WordPress. And to receive comments from even ONE person in the midst of such outstanding writers?!??? I am humbled , almost, beyond words…I’ve had people from alll over the world hit my blog page: Canada, Cambodia, Africa, Saudi Arabia, Mexico, Argentina, England, France, India, and of course my country the United States. I’ve interacted on blog pages with people from all countries, all creeds, all backgrounds..pretty much the same as I do offline. I’ve invested alot of my spare time into what I share here…proof reading over and over after I let my thoughts flow freely from my fingertips. I’m always COGNIZANT that this is a permanent carbon copy of my words. Of parts of me…Who knows? My future grandchildren might one day read this! My parents read this. My church family/family members & friends read this. And recently my hair was blown back! when I discovered co-workers actually print what I’ve written here as a momento! OMG and WOW..talk about humbling. So, I say all of this to take a brief station break from posting a topic to say THANK YOU to ALL of YOU.  You’ve made my first step into the blogging world a BEAUTIFUL learning experience. And as I further work on my writing skills I aspire to reach the level so many of ya’ll here are..ya’ll keeeeep the bar raised HIGH here. I love IT. As always stay UPlifted & blessed until I read/write ya’ll again…4ever sincere Berna (the 1 n only)

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Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, @Cultural, Post a Day 2013, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~To B Continued, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

>Why ALPA Men Rule the/MY World..DP CHALLENGE*PostADay*Berna’s Way

>Common Alpha(Type A personality) Male Traits:  Natural born leader. Self-confident. Demonstrate strength. VERY comfortable in their own skin. Extreme competitiveness. Always composed. Physical fitness is priority. Dominant; not aggressive. Superior social skills. Witty. Driven. Problem solver. Optimistic! Exaggerated sense of urgency=time is important/precious. (love that; NEVER a dull moment…) Good communicators. Values efficiency.

THE FOUR ALPHA TYPES:

All alpha males are aggressive, competitive, and driven to achieve. They think big, aim high, and attack their goals with courage, confidence, and tenacity. But each of the four types expresses these common qualities in different ways. Think of them as spices that add flavor to the basic alpha male recipe. Understanding their nuances will give you deeper insight into yourself and the alpha males around you, enabling you to pinpoint strengths you can build upon and risks you need to address. With this more granulated view, you can home in on a specific course of action, just as a doctor can devise a better treatment plan if she knows the exact type of infection a patient has rather than only the broad category.

Here is a brief summary of each type’s primary behavior traits:

  • Commanders: Intense, magnetic leaders who set the tone, mobilize the troops and energize action with authoritative strength and passionate motivation without necessarily digging into the details.
  • Visionaries: Curious, expansive, intuitive, proactive and future-oriented, they see possibilities and opportunities that others sometimes dismiss as impractical or unlikely and inspire others with their vision.
  • Strategists: Methodical, systematic, often brilliant thinkers who are oriented toward data and facts, they have excellent analytic judgment and a sharp eye for patterns and problems.
  • Executors: Tireless, goal-oriented doers who push plans forward with an eye for detail, relentless discipline and keen oversight, surmounting all obstacles and holding everyone accountable for their commitments.

While the above makes for an interesting illustration “AlphaNESS is not something that can be attained from a bottle.Or least thats my opinion based on my experience. This is the way I see IT>

**Alpha, the 1st Greek letter of the alphabet, has become known to “signify”..the first of anything. Animal researchers use the word to denote dominance, applying it to the Leader of the Pack, who is 1st in power & importance. With people(humans) Alpha is defined as , A person tending to assume dominance in whatever they’re involved in. They also possess the qualities /attributes /social skills/confidence for leadership. Naturally, they’re strong, result-driven achievers who insist on TOP performance from themselves & others. They’re usually turned on by bold , innovative & creative ambitious goals. At their BEST , Alpha males  inspire awe and their noble leaderships skills are revered by others. I had the opportunity to partake in an upclose and personal interview of a certain very special Alpha brother who still resides in California.  Though always drawn to Alpha males it was the first time I’d ever taken time to actually ask one a few questions.(and not just based on my life long observations) It yielded   really great answers!  that I’m going to use in my wrap UP of what I feel an Alpha male is and why they rule the/MY world..And yep, President Barack Obama is an Alpha male!

**There is a long standing myth that Alpha males can’t co-exist in a committed monogamous relationship....And while that certainly is probably the case with many Alpha males; I’ve experienced quite the opposite. In fact with someone who was/is a self-proclaimed(and lived up to this proclamation in every way) Alpha of all Alpha’s ; I experienced the best love /mature/honest /committed relationship of my entire life. I’m sure 1st Lady Michelle Obama can attest to the same as well.  Real talk indeed..

**Over the course of  time I asked said Alpha an array of questions @Alpha”dom”.. This  was the sum of his answers, pretty much verbatim , of what living life as an Alpha has meant in his world: >He is used to getting what he wants(always) ; even if that means remaining patient to get it.< **

>>Mayhaps a combination of  height & nature he was quite accustomed to being given service FIRST..even if there was a line before he walked in the door. Any and everywhere! And I witnessed this myself over the course of time. Given any group of male friends HE was , without spoken words, the leader. This I also witnessed myself. He felt his aggressiveness also meant his was abrasive; I found this to be totally untrue.(except when football was on the boob tube! OMG..but that is another story for another time) VERY protective and outstanding Father/Daddy and significant other. He made it clear to all that “I” was to be looked out for(including the many times I got lost driving! yet another story for another time..) And while the “myth” about Alpha’s is that they have to be served..I can personally attest to being  absolutely spoiled(well, truth IS,  I was already spoiled but even more so…)  by said Alpha’s cooking/superb host skills/excellent social skills/high form of communication skills.   An Alpha man has a strong desire to be #1 in every way; and works effortlessly to attain that. From A – Z …

P.S. If there just happens to be an Alpha reading that has anything 2 add or dispute(I know of at least 1 reader out there…) then by ALL means please add your 2 cents..You know you want to!  Including female type A personalities. Which would actually make for an interesting addition to this piece. So hit it if you like…

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, Health Matters*, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~To B Continued, ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

~~SEX~~ DP CHALLENGE *PostADay..Berna’s Way..

~ ~One of my fave sayings IS “IF U can’t talk about it with me ; then I guarantee we’ll never have SEX!” ~Parents should rightfully B discussing SEX with their children LONG before their children have SEX~WHY  parents afraid 2 discuss SEX with their children set them UP to feel SEX is dirty for life; when it is NOT~The rule @No glove/No love should RULE these days…>>Those are just a few of the things  I feel like talking about …I’ll keep it tasteful BUT with the mindset that SEX is natural N beautiful..Are ya’ll ready  for me? Get ready. Get set…Lets rap!

>>”Sex and romance may seem inextricably linked, but the human brain clearly distinguishes between the two, according to a new study. The upshot: Love is the more powerful emotion.

The results of brain scans speak to longstanding questions of whether the pursuit of love and sex are different emotional endeavors or whether romance is just warmed over sexual arousal.

“Our findings show that the brain areas activated when someone looks at a photo of their beloved only partially overlap with the brain regions associated with sexual arousal,” said Arthur Aron of the State University of New York-Stony Brook. “Sex and romantic love involve quite different brain systems.”

 

The study, announced today, will be detailed in the July issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology.<<

**Trying to tackle this topic from several angles so bear with me as I work my way into it..

>>2  quotes  from a source I respect( & have read many of his books)  I’d like to mention here before I go further :

“~Any feeling is both mental and physical~”
― Deepak Chopra, Spiritual Solutions: Answers to Life’s Greatest Challenges

“Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.”
― Deepak Chopra

Working my way slowly into this topic, deeper N deeper ,so  hang on folks I’m getting there..

*Although far too many people think the entire importance lies between one’s legs…that simply is NOT true. Sex begins with mental seduction. When the mental seduction is mutual sex turns into making love= Real love. One of the highest of highs @ Orgasm happens between one’s ears..*In the Mind/Brain*..Am I breaking it down or what?? Moving right along so stay tuned<

Disclaimer: Anything that I say here or elsewhere on my blog site is MY opinion. Based on my beliefs N life experience including a TON of reading..>

Since 1992 California public schools have been required by law to teach HIV/AIDS education at least once during middle school and once during high school . To follow a list of guidelines including age appropriate ..BUT what is to determine what any of those guidelines actually mean?? As a parent I was never comfy “not knowing” exactly what was being taught to our sons. And even though I read the literature I requested from the school beforehand I still wasn’t comfy…yet I signed it. I felt the more info our sons had the better..In addition I discovered sex education is NOT required by law to be taught in California public schools. YET 96% of California public schools do provide sex health education classes as an option from grades K- 12..though there are NO guidelines by law until the 7th grade..Which is when I signed the consent forms for our 3 sons to take the course. When my eldest took the course I was still very, very nervous about talking about SEX to him. So I welcomed any and all information or outside sources teaching him sex education. Including my now ex-husband…By the time our youngest was in the 7th grade I was well informed N confident to teach him alot more at home myself as did my now ex-husband..We were pro’s on the topic by then & had added sex education to our very hands-on n N involved parenting style. 10 years prior I’d never have dreamed! that I’d engage or advocate giving a teenager condoms..BUT no one ever promised that parenting would be an easy job. It is by far the most “difficult” job I’ve ever held and yet by FAR the most rewarding & important! Furthermore I advocate allowing an environment in which youth can talk to their parents about ANYthing..and our sons have. (the beauty of having 2 involved parents is if they can’t talk to one about something ; they’ve got another parent to talk to ..awesome arrangement!)  I’m not yet a grandparent and all 3 of my sons are alive N healthy..One of my worst parental fears is they’d experience sex and catch something that could kill them! Or become parents before they’d reached their educational goals..Neither of those things have happened. Thanks to my mighty GOD and an outstanding co-parent/male role model. IF you truly love your child talk to them about sex very early on…And if need be give them condoms! Be thankful they could come to talk to you honestly about the topic. Provide condoms even before they do…those just-in-case-the-first-time-comes-before-prepared-with-safety-items has yielded in many teenage pregnancies..In my opinion in this day N age teenage pregnancy rates should NOT be at the high rate they’re at. Condoms are handed out like lollipops now! In California you can get them at alot of clinics for FREE…

*SEX-Positive Liberals advocate that sex BEfore marriage IS a valid choice for “nearly” everyone…or at least for 95% of Americans. Hmmm, who knew? Or , really?!? IS sexual morality truly about how long one waits? Or should it be about how one treats themselves/carries themselves/respects themselves ~N~ the people they’re with.

Question: Are long lasting love relationships made through intimacy? Is teaching the youth abstinence ONLY working out? Or are the youth STILL having sex before marriage? What is the percentage of single adult parents practicing abstinence? What leads to the most stable marriages; feminist values or traditional ones? These are some of the questions I’m going to attempt to tackle. My words/my uncensored thoughts….

>First, here are the proven benefits of  SEX..Sex releases STRESS. Boosts immunities. It helps to keep one’s heart healthy. Helps you sleep. Lowers blood pressure rates. Burns a ton of calories and is a GREAT form of exercise. Boosts self esteem. Boosts endorphins. (including aids with PMS) Makes prostrate cancer less likely(yep, google it if you don’t believe me..) Youthful glow. Lighter menstrual periods with less cramps. Cures world hunger. (Just kidding! )  Now for where I stand regarding abstinence prior to marriage or between marriages..The Moral Case 4 Abstinence Before Marriage VS. The Moral Case 4 Sex Before Marriage…>>Here is  the QUESTION of a LIFEtime that begs to be answered=

>>IS MONOGAMY A REALISTIC RELATIONSHIP GOAL? IS IT NATURAL TO BE MONOGAMOUS? IS IT POSSIBLE TO MAINTAIN MONOGAMY IN A LONG-TERM LOVE RELATIONSHIP?!?

**In conclusion my bottom line is as follows: Teaching abstinence-only to today’s youth is NOT working. Exclamation point. PERIOD. As someone very dear to me & my co-parenting partner taught me years ago WE as parents must deal with reality and NOT our own fairy tale sugar coated versions of reality …and especially preaching to our youth  B-sISH that WE didn’t even practice in our youth! Yep, I was one of those parents that wanted to only teach abstinence until marriage. However, IF as parents we don’t teach children ALL options and realities; then we aren’t giving them the information/insight/ammunition they’ll need for all given situations. And as a parent that just isn’t responsible…not in my opinion. For those parents that want to teach this one-method type of way. Have at it! Your children, your right to teach them whatever you please..just don’t come crying to me or anyone else when your child winds UP with an early pregnancy they’re UNprepared for(and not mature enough for) Or worse! stricken with an STD that can take their very lives. This is our reality and it IS what it IS. On a moral level? Of course the ideal criteria is to wait to have SEX until married to someone one is IN LOVE with. And yep, as parents one often has to preach/teach things that wasn’t followed by self..Because we are to teach what is right! But for some of us less than perfect people(got my hand help UP high) teaching sons from a stance of  “learn from my mistakes” kind-of-way is working just fine…

**Maybe folks had the right line of thinking backintheday…the 60s Flower Children era. Didn’t it seem(or least from pictures I’ve seen…) that everyone was soooo FREE back then? Live N let live! Make love , not WAR. Peace signs were posted all over the place. Folks singing “What the World Needs Now, is LOVE sweeeeet LOVE…Right? So, what happened to change that mindset? What really happened that veeered the sexual  morality views in our country to be what they are in the here and NOW? Here is the way I see IT..

Way back in the 60s least majority of Americans were HONEST about how they felt SEX..Now? We’ve become a society of “closet” sex-lovers. And only GOD knows what truly goes on behind people’s closed doors..Truth is sex is a beautiful act that was created not just 2 populate but also as the BEST natural anti-depressant. Mayhaps IF more folks were having SEX ..there would be NO need 4 all of the drugs being taken to alter moods out there. Depression has become a very serious issue in our country.(another deep topic for another time..)  Pharmaceutical companies globally are  worth  an estimated  $300 BILLION ..Omg & WOW. 

In an ideal world /situation, youth, it is BEST to wait until marriage to share all of the beauty that sex was created for..Some might ask , “What if I’ve decided I don’t want to get married or have children?” Excellent question! Which is one of the reasons why the “wait for marriage theory” isn’t always a good message to preach. Except from a parental viewpoint….I feel the best way to inform the youth(or anyone..) about a topic; give them all sides. The good, the bad, & the ugly. The whole truth. Which is what I’ve tried 2 do from my perspective in my words here. I don’t believe sexual morality is about how long one waits to have sex..It is moreso about the level of respect a person has for themselves & others. How they carry themselves overall..Youth need to be aware of the dangers of sex and its consequences(which can be lifelong) In the same manner we teach youth the dangers & safety tips on how to drive a car; the same should be done in how we teach them about SEX. When we teach abstinence-only the youth are tuning us OUT..The statistics of the amount of youth having sex makes that evident. My sincere belief? I don’t feel that long-lasting love relationships are established when SEX is introduced early. In rare cases, yes. But overall in my heart of hearts I don’t think so. Yet, I do believe that long-term love relationships are for sure enhanced by sex N without a doubt can’t survive without IT..or least in my world !

Monogamy. Who in their right mind created that?!? Must not have been someone who truly enjoyed good sex…However, having expressed that, I do feel monogamy is the BEST type of long-term love relationship. And it is the only type of relationship for me..I do not feel it is a “natural” state of being though.  We’re hormonal creatures by nature. Some of us moreso than others..(hand held UP high) Men are biologically created & driven! 2 have and 2 want SEX..Lest women ever, ever forget that. (and I think sometimes we do…) So given those 2 facts alone makes it highly difficult to maintain a monogamous relationship. BUT the best things in this life aren’t easily attained nor kept. It IS worth it..True love is worth it. Maintaining the sacredness of a marriage is worth it. And it just feeeeeels right 2 know one’s love partner/mate/spouse/lover; is saving ALL of their special loving for YOU. It causes such a euphoric feeling that there is NO substitute for. Exclamation mark. Period  . I’m ending on that note yall. As always stay UPlifted N blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 n only)

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*Does this sum you UP? Or someone U know? DP CHALLENGE*PostADay

**Referred 2 as pseudo- science zodiac signs can nonetheless be spot ON in how they describe our characteristics and behavior patterns. I’ve often been known to say , I’m born under a water sign, to put emphasis on how much I enjoy “all things near or in the water” . Though I do know there is NO scientific proven research to make horoscopes legitimate..Having said ALL of that I ran across a zodiac blog site that has me pegged almost to a T! I thought it would be fun to list a couple of things referring to my sign..Lighten things UP for a minute before I blog on politics. Yep, I can get deep , intense, very analytical, and serious when need be.  So first things first..in case you want to size yourself UP using the site(have fun for a minute!) the site is…http://zodiaccity.tumblr.com/..IF it sums you up to a T please do come back and post the results here…Would be fun to see if the young lady whose site it is was spot ON for other signs as with my sign. I’m a Cancer. Born on the 4th of July..true firecracker ! And if there are any other Cancer’s out there reading this “wave your hands in the air IF this is accurate about you as well”..I’ll narrate with the pictures to point out the few differences.

^This is SO very much me. 2 a T..

^The only thing I do not agree with here is..I am NOT a whiner. Least I don’t think I am!

^THIS is very true..I’ve been my worst critic for a very long time, till recently. Translation I push myself very , very hard. Was awfully nice though to read this tidbit of insight; especially the last part.

^THIS is very true..I call my “gut instinct” my “vibes” and they’re extremely strong N almost never, ever wrong..

^Even though on the outside I appear high maintenance; my needs are very, very simple. And this is true to a T

^I could ADD alot more 2 the sexiness of a Cancer, BUT, I’m keeping this G-rated..Use your imagination and multiply that times infinity! Moving right along…

^THIS is ME to a T..Alot of good characteristics, with a tiny splash of bad. Who wants to be perfect anyway?!? Not me for that would make me boring..

^I loved reading this! Can totally CO-sign because this is me..Had alot of fun with this post and I’m hopeful you peeked at the website and did also@your own zodiac sign. Till I read/write ya’ll tomorrow evening stay UPlifted N blessed. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 N only)

 

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^

~Ephiphany? Aha! Moment or Full Circle Moment?*DPCHALLENGE*PostaDay

 ONE   last of these type of  inner-seeking/self-discovery type of posts N then? Onto what I’m ITCHING to write about..Politics! Took a break from it for a while, breather of sorts, but I always try 2 stay posted and as ALWAYS  I’ve got alot 2 say. So next UP will B musings on whats going  on with our guys in D.C..But for now I’ve got a question for ya’ll. Anyone out there ever feel like you’re always, always! the one in class(or any presentation scenario..) and YOU are the only 1 who raises their hand to ask a question?!? And then! after class or the presentation other people run UP to you and say thanks! for asking that because I had the sameeee question but didn’t ask..Why? Why? I am always, always the ONE to ask such questions..I sit there for a minute looking around , hoping, praying!, someone will ask. But they don’t. N then I just can’t help it I’ve got to know so UP goes my hand..Whether I’m nervous to stand UP in a crowd  or thinking  that folks will think it is a DUMB question I’m asking  or whatever, I’ve just got 2 know…

~There are times in ones’ life when all of a sudden bam! you instantly go from NO clarity to clarity..In my lifetime it has happened twice. As if a great big fog was suddenly lifted. Recently, this past summer, was the strongest such happening for me. I literally “felt” as if I was living@I once was blind, but now I see. Honestly, I can’t explain it any other way. I didn’t see a big light bulb in my minds’ eye. I didn’t see GOD in my sleep. But what I did experience was so life-altering and beautiful..and one day I’m going to try to express it properly by writing about it. Not sure if I am capable  of giving it the due justice it deserves ;yet. (but when I feel I am I’ll blog about it..) I’ll say this though : I went from BEing  a wanna-be full faithful  believer that was practicing Catholism by going to Mass TO a fully faithful  BEliever in GOD/thirsting N thirsting  to gain a closer relationship to GOD/fully immersed in involvement in my Catholic faith/church/choir. Bam! Not sure if everyone experiences such ephiphany moments; but I sure wish it was something I could bottle UP and give to everyone! It is that magnificent of an experience.

Aha! moments are a bit more common, right? These are what I truly call the “light bulb” moments…When you just know what you know because you know IT. And! you know it as it is happening..not after-the-fact. Or least this is how it has happened to me. One such moment was when I first met my exhusband. Yep! Don’t think I ever told him this(or I might have because I talk alot..) and since he reads my blog NOW he’ll know..But from the very first time I laid eyes on him I just knew he’d be my husband. Truth is he laid eyes on me first & I had NO clue he was watching me..but when I did see him I knew. And I was right. Pretty happy I had that aha! moment 🙂

Last but not least@full circle moments..I’ve only had ONE of these in this lifetime. And it has been such a beautiful yet sometimes overwhelming experience. Being an emotional person by nature I’ve had to stifle the butterflies in my tummy at times this past 16 months. Other times I’ve had to let the tears of joy just flow and flow..including during Mass .(which has been happening more to me than ever before as of late especially when I’m singing certain songs in Mass..Yep, the Holy Spirit has been moving through me alot) I think  a full circle moment to me means is that I had to come back 2 where I began to complete my life journey. Instead of being a step backwards(as I felt it was when I made the journey 16 months ago..) it has become something that has enriched my life. For the 1st time in my life I know I am right where I am supposed 2 B. In every possible way…N I have literally come full circle. And it just feels right, and just!, and good. 

As I started this off saying IF you find that in a room full of people you’re the ONLY one who will raise your hand to ask a question…It just means you’re NOT afraid to be different! And that even IF you are afraid on the inside(as I often times am ) you move forward/or ask that! question/or make a change for the better; thus over-riding your fears..Which takes courage and strength. I’ve been my own worst critic for the majority of my life; but what I’m trying to share with ya’ll is the hope that you’ll give yourselves credit for your great qualities(like courage/strength, etc) There will be many defining moments in our lives@ephiphany, aha!moments, full circle moments…as well as just precious moments in time. I treasure them all as I hope you do…I’ve learned to complain less & less in this lifetime. Why ? Because as we’re wasting breath complaining; there is someone somewhere taking their very last breath of life. Which would you prefer to be doing? Yep, me too! Be back tomorrow with my take on whats going on in D.C..till then stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

^NO sense in mincing WORDS 4 this is a heavy topic*DPCHALLENGE PostADay

**This was actually written in response 2 another blog that I follow on WP..I got SO caught up responding N the w*o*r*d*s a/k/a thoughts just kept flowing N flowing…So I decided to post my own original thoughts here on my blog..Hopefully 2 encourage an open discussion regarding a topic that is very near N dear to me..I’m trying, with all my might!, 2 live this topic out loud. In very living color. This is about as Real as it can possibly GET.

**Theres something I think U should know…>Let’s WAIT a while ..Before its 2 late..Let’s wait a while..Before we go 2 far.. Lets save something for LATER…So our love will B greater…Can’t RUSH love..

**I skipped alot of verses but thats the fast-forwarded sample..Backintheday when lyrics really meant something in songs! Yep, I said it N I know that 2 be true. But anyways those are words from a Janet Jackson song. Back when she was truly HOT inasfar as talentwise..then she went Hollywood.
IF a guy, I don’t care who he IS, can sit and say he has a double standard for the women he loves in his life already(his Mother,his daughter, his females relatives, his female friends..) compared with the woman he’s interested in…RUN & run fast! Because it means he is a BIG, fat hypocrit! For instance, IF conversing said man you’ve got a peaked interest IN says..”I want my daughter to WAIT till marriage 2 have sex…” And then U ask him, “So are you then also saying you’d wait 2 have sex until marriage?”  N he then loooooks at YOU like you’ve got a 3rd eye in the middle of your face! Plus,  his reply is NO.  I care less how fine he is. Or thinks he is..I don’t care what kind of job he holds down. I care less! what he owns..N for sure don’t give a hot dang what type of car he drives..RUN. As women sometimes we think, wrongfully so, that we can change a man . Pfft! And as IF…this is one  of the biggest mistakes  WE as women do/or can make.  From the jump! For he is sitting there laying it out for you. In his OWN words ..that   he is NOT  the one. RUN.

**IF a guy doesn’t feel that building UP a relationship is worth the wait..And IF that is what you desire; then again he isn’t the one for YOU. Period. It is that simple. As for the Steve Harvey rule of making a guy wait 90 days? I don’t put a time limit on it..because a guy could hear that N just rideeeee it out. Knowing full well he is going to get his “reward” at the end of 90 days…But are there such guarantees in any other area of this life? Nope! So why should it be different regarding what “should ” be sacred to us? Our bodies! Temple, right? And these days?!? It involves far more than backintheday just being scared of getting pregnant..NOW you’re literally placing your LIFE in someone else’s hands when you have SEX with them. With or without protection…Real talk. No sense in mincing words this is a heavy topic…

**IF as a woman you’re single N want that “status” to change. Then it is high! time to begin to do things differently. Anyone repeating the same things over N over N over again..YET expecting to get different results is either ..1. A very , VERY slow learner 2. Not very bright 3. Mentally challenged . IF a woman truly feeeeeels she is worthy of real love. IF a woman knows her true worth & is living UP to her true good worth . IF a woman wants to change her “status” from single to engaged/married/going steady(what ARE they calling it these days? I don’t even know…) then expecting a potential mate to wait for her “goodies” until they really know each other/have mutual relationship expectations/CAN & DO communicate effectively/feel love & respect! for one another…all of that will be just the basics for her to anticipate/request/and GET. And if said guy of such a woman’s interests has an issue with that? Then he just earned an instant downgrade from “potential” 2 “just friends”. Just that simple. And? If he acts a fool upon such simple & polite requests from said woman? He is then downgraded from even a chance! of being “just friends” to “someone I once spent time with but now I no longer even want him to be a friend…at ALL”

**We all have choices…And yep, I practice exactly what I preach. I’ve got more than one witness to attest to my very words. Fortunately I’ve met/spent time with/been engaged/married to outstanding brothers…I’ve had a couple “almost made it 2 the finish line type of relationships N marriage..I’ve no regrets nor complaints. No more tears about what could’ve been. Taken responsiblity for my part in why things just didn’t work out…Feeling blessed for the beautiful memories. Worked on ME in the interim for we all have flaws/faults..Hopefully learned lessons from my past relationships..Ready to move forward. I’ve NO time limit like the Steve Harvey rule nor do I make any apology for that. 2 anyone. IF a brother I’m interested in doesn’t feel I’m worth waiting on, until!, then he isn’t my “the one” I’m saving myself for. Exclamation mark. Period.

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, **RELIGIOUS**, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^, ~To B Continued

~~Daily Prompt~UN FaithFUL *DP CHALLENGE*Post A Day@Just DOing IT

I saw this prompt on WordPress this morning N could hardly believe my eyes! A chance to write, solicited, about my journey of Faith. A journey which spans an entire lifetime, mine, N a myriad of phases. From wannaBbeliever/attending Mass all the while over the years, yet not feeeeeeeling IT/starting 2 grasp IT/seeking 2 fully believe/Believer in every bone of my body and HUNGRY to learn more N more. Going to take a few moments to gather my thoughts so that my keystrokes can relay what I’d like to share. ^2 B Continued Soon^

Where do I begin  a topic such as Faith? A topic that has become so very personal 2 me that I’m excited just being about 2 write about IT. Saying that, keystroking it rather, still amazes me because a mere 5 years ago I’d not have felt such excitement over the topic of Faith. I was IN a different time N space then. A different mindset. And yet, I’ve been LED to right where I am now. The here N now. Present in the moment N oh! so content , pleased, HAPPY, to B in this moment. Any1 who has known me for a decent length of time knows that is a miracle inofitself…

I can not promise this will B a post of brevity. But I can promise it will B sincere N hope it is received as such. Never do I profess to be an expert in anything..though I’m experienced in ALOT ..I possess a PHD in life. From extreme moments of joy 2 being down in valleys so deeeeeep I didn’t think I’d make it out..alive. Real talk. There once was a time I didn’t think I’d live to see 50 yrs of age. There once was a time I did NOT want to live to see the age of 50 yrs of age. There once was a time my own actions /feelings were indicative that I didn’t like myself very much. And  yet by my outward appearance people thought I loved ME. But on the inside I was lost…a part of my inner being was murdered when I was a teen. An action that even my own Daddy couldn’t *stop* from happening to ME..and yet here I stand on the brink of making IT to 50 yrs of age. I am in AWE of that and that is tough! to express to people. So I no longer try…I just AM . Trying to live UP to my GOD given purpose. Far from that goal yet I’m so very , very much closer than I ever have been in my life. And you know what? I just feeeeeeeeeeeeeel GOOD about 99% of the time! Real talk. Alive, vibrant, and leaping out of bed each day @O’dark thirty hours eager! to start each new day. I say all of this to attempt to express to ya’ll how very GOOD that my GOD is allll the time. I’d not have wasted these keystrokes to say such personal things if not trying to show you just how FAR my GOD has brought ME..through things I didn’t think I’d ever make it through. Once something I yearned to believe IN(because those I loved dearly@my parents believed so strongly…) and now? I believe so strongly that  at times the feeling of goodness feeeeeels so good I get overwhelmed. Ever felt something that good? So good it scared you? And yet even that scared feeling of butterflies about to burst out of your tummy felt good?!? That is how I feel most of the time now…I can’t properly describe it any other way.

After experiencing a very  unexpected spiritual awakening in a state I’d lived in &  loved! since 1989..I found MYself led, guided, to move cross country. 2 beginning anew. At 48 yrs of age…I was simply put, terrified to do that! Yet everything happening was urging me/gently pushing me towards making such a bold move. I was afraid to do it. I was afraid not to do it. Hope that makes as much sense to ya’ll as it still 2 this day makes 2 me. Shortly after relocating cross country I was fortunate enough to attend my very 1st(but certainly not my last..) National Black Catholic Conference in Indianapolis with my parents & new church friends. AND MY LIFE WAS FOREVER CHANGED. Over a period of  4 days I for the 1st time in my life felt I belonged NOT just to the religion I’d been a part of since birth..but I began to feel remarkably different. I began to see things differently. I began to say things differently. It happened so suddenly! I had begun to believe in GOD fully and almost overnight. Not forced nor reaching to believe as I had my entire 40 some odd years…Bam! I believed. My life, the years past of my life/events of my life/people who had entered my life/circumstances that happened in my life/…began to rewind in my mind. Over days N days..as IF someone was playing a movie of MY life. I couldn’t STOP it..seriously thought I was losing my dang mind. I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening. Not even my Mom. Sounded far too crazy to try to explain..or did IT?

My entire outlook on things changed..Instead of feeling sorry for MYself about things I’d left behind..Stead of lamenting about people /loved ones! I couldn’t see daily(that I missed as if it were the AIR I had to breathe..) I threw myself head 1st into becoming the type of person I so admired. I began to WORK on tweaking/changing every facet of myself that I did not care for. Tough job to do at almost 50 yrs of age…I didn’t consult anyone. But I began to PRAY for guidance. I simply had a chat with GOD N asked him to please let me seeeeee the me that everyone else loves! Let me begin to love…ME. Heal me from things that happened long ago that were NOT within my control. Allow me to learn to lose  the tight, oh so tight! control, I have held over my heart. Let me live life to the potential I know you’ve plotted out for me since before my conception. And then! I realized I was talking to GOD..and I fully believed he was hearing me. Just so happened the exact way  I just wrote it. I became a full believer without the least amount of effort. A process of things over a lifetime brought me..here. So I’ve decided that it must’ve ALL been a part of HIS plan. That had my life happened any other way I simply wouldn’t have gotten IT. Once I was so very blind; but now I see EVERYthing so clearly. I kid you not. N I’m as serious as I’ve ever been about anything.

Now? I’m like a sponge. I am on a personal pilgrimage..Still journeying to get closer to my GOD. So much I’ve yet to learn . I don’t confess to have Bible scriptures memorized. Nor do I profess to be a perfect Christian. I am NOT a perfect anything. I am just me..the one and only creation of what my God created me to B. I don’t even long to be perfect! I think that would make me boring as heck…What am I? I am perfectly imperfect.

I’ll leave ya’ll with this final thought. Fear not if you don’t yet believe 100%…just wanting to believe is a start! WE are ALL loved children of GOD..whether we believe or not. This is what I feel. This is what I’ve come to know. And if we just stop trying to follow our OWN will N let HIS will for us B and go with the flow when we are LED by him…life gets SO much easier! I stress and worry so much less than I used 2..that is yet another miracle! inofitself. Not saying I don’t still worry about things; but its FAR less than I used to. Progress…for Rome wasn’t built in a day. And it is ridiculous to think anything, including a person, especially one almost 50 lol! would change totally overnight…but I’m getting closer. I am WISER. I am STRONGER. I am SO much better than I used 2 B. Can’t ask for much more than that. And? If it can happen to me, and I can assure you my words R true, it can/WILL happen to anyone. You if you want it 2. All you have to do is ..BELIEVE. Stay UPlifted N blessed ya’ll. N remember 2 count each and every one of your blessings 2day N every day. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, *DP CHALLENGE>Post A Day*, @Cultural, WOW

#5 N Final~2013! New Years ReSOLUTION________*DP CHALLENGE*@Just do IT

And wrapping UP the last spot on my list of New Year promises to myself..I’ve saved the best for last. N that is the truth regarding this resolution!@the BEST will B my last.  I’ll truly enjoy writing on this topic.   Write ya’lll  later on this  evening..Hang tight because it will B worth the wait as R all good things~I’m finally back! And if it seems as if my words begin to seem like they’ve got a poetic flow in this piece…its because I’m a poet. It comes naturally. So here goes my flow of thoughts/might at times involve run on sentences/its because fast as I type my fingers may not always keep up with the freeflow of my thoughts/especially regarding this topic/unrestrained/uninterrupted/thoughts/emotions/from my spirit N heart

Anyone who knows me or has had a conversation with me in the last 6 months or so already knows what my final reSOLUTION is..Probably should’ve listed it as #1..Yet, seems appropriate somehow for it to be last in this segment. First N last positions in anything hold their own level of importance. However, my last resolution, vow to MYself is to finally! let go/let GOD/and allow myself to fall IN love. For one final time. 2 last the rest of my life…seem dramatic? Not really. Because I’m so very serious…

I’ve got a feeling felt in every single bone in my body that I’m close, SO close, to being discovered by my ONE, the one that God created to love me and only lil ole ME. He’ll love unconditionally and take me as i AM. He won’t try to change me yet he’ll deeeeeply appreciate all that i AM..alll that I’ve lived through, survived!, and he’ll realize I’ve been preparing MYself for him my entire lifetime. He’ll realize that I’ve saved the best of me for HIM. He’ll be ready to collect his reward, his own little piece of paradise, that he has waited for his entire lifetime. He’ll be the kind of brother who is ALPHA yet has enough sensitivity in his soul to recognize the sensitive soul that is ME. He’ll be the type of MAN who does romantic gestures like profess his love for me in one of my fave places on earth , in his own handwriting in the sand..on the beach..any beautiful beach! I’m born under a water sign and I love all things near the water.

I figure my spirit will recognize him upon the very first sighting! Which is why I know though I’ve alot , alot!, of temptation in my path recently, alot!, that I’ve not yet laid eyes on him. Nor he upon me..He’ll love to hold hands and appreciate my need to touch to bond. He’ll enjoy and need that also.

I know in my heart of hearts love, real love!, is on the way..I’m ready, willing N able to give the same type of love that I crave . Its taken me a long time to realize, recognize my own worth..so nothing less will DO. Its time. Past time. The time is right. All good things come in time and this year I feel is MINE, finally.

We’ll do all things together and yet! also be free enough in our love to do our own thing individually..hope that makes as much sense to ya’ll as it makes to me. And the really even better gooood news?? Is when this happens I’m going to come running right back here and blog all about IT. Till then I’ll leave this topic alone for a bit and just continue to stay as busy as I’ve been. In the meantime? Love, love!, LOVE and love some more..love isn’t just for lovers. We can love GOD , ourselves, our parents, our children, our friends, our coworkers , even strangers…for we never know who is an angel sent straight into our path from GOD. Well folks thats my last promise to myself for the upcoming year. I’ve got a feeeeeling it is going to be a fabulous year. 2013! woooo hooooo Read ya’ll/write 4 ya’ll 2morrow. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in <<COMING SOON, ***DPCHALLENGE, FABulous 50 Bday anticipation.., WOW

#3~2013! New Years’ ReSOLUTION@Day Spa Visits For Me & Mom *DP Challenge

I’ve declared 2013 as a year for many things ..I’m kick starting it with treating myself the same way I expect others to treat me. (and the say way I treat them) Which means from timetotime I like to be pampered! How easy its been to have lived a life of consistently outsourcing myself to others..As a mother, daughter, sister, wife, grandchild,niece,cousin,best friend, friend, employee, boss, mentor etc, etc, yada  yada. Now that the time has come when I’ve got alot of “me” time its time to go from this state of being….>>

To this state of being alot more often..>>

Earlier this year for the 1st time ever! my Mom experienced her first day at the spa..All day! It was a Christmas  gift from my eldest son(her eldest grandson) . And though it wasn’t my first day spa experience it was by far the most fulfilling. To see my Mom glow from the full body hour long body massage was an awesome thing to see…To think I’d thought she’d have issues undressing(though behind closed doors in a private room in an all female Spa) and laying down for the massage. She couldn’t STOP talking about it when we ran into each other while waiting for our facial sessions. It made me think of how much of a womans’ life can be devoted to her husband/family..and yet not far enough time devoted to just her own “me” time of pampering Self. For ALL that we DO and all that we take care of , tend to, co-raise, raise, manage, and run..we dang sure deserve to pamper ourselves. And often. So I decided to make it one of my New Year vows to myself ..day spa visits for me & Mom bi-monthly. I’ve already hand-picked the perfect place! It is serene and lovely…>>

I’m down with all of the services the spa offers (I have slept peacefully during full body massages & wake UP feeling totally renewed) with the exception of mud baths & hot rock massages. IF anyone tries to ever put hot rocks on my body; I won’t be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth! As IF. And who in the world created something so painful yet called it pleasurable in the first place??? I don’t know exactly what my face looked like the first time I was NAIVE enough to try a hot rock massage. Oh yep, I did try it once. I thought if  it was part of a day of pampering at a day spa it had to feeeeeel good. WRONG. I didn’t make it past the first rock on my back..no need to even explain here &  now what type of words flew out of my mouth. I couldn’t control it..The next time someone asks me if I’d like the hot rock treatment …the loooook on my face might be similar to this one. >>

Self love is the most important love of all..one can’t offer to another what they don’t have inside of Self. Or feel for self.  So least till I’m no longer riding solo..I plan on doing quite a bit of practicing & increasing my level of Self Love. By time my, the ONE, discovers me I should be a pro. And he’ll definitely reap every single reward of all that I’ve learned… Till ya’ll read me again stay UPlifted N blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in ***DPCHALLENGE, =Self Discovery=, FABulous 50 Bday anticipation.., WOW

#2~2013! New Years’ReSOLUTION@Do Something NEW Every Week..*DP Challenge

**When was the last time U did something NEW? Hmmm ..I saw that somewhere the other day and made me stop 2 think. Dang! When was the last time I did something new???? Have I become such a creature of habit that I’ve forgotten to B spontaneous from timetotime? Lawd! Is this part of what becoming part of the 50yr old club means? (asked MYself these questions but thankfully I don’t answer back!) Didn’t I decide couple years back to loosen UP with my control issues and GO with the flow more? Hope that also means trying new, exciting! things N keeeeeping life full of ELECTRIC moments..Lose control sometimes

So I’ve dug UP my mental list of new things that I’m going to DO in 2013..1 new thing a week during the year of my Fabulous 50th Bday. The year which I’ve claimed as , My Year. (for alot of things ; but thats another topic for another time)

I’m going to buy me a hula hoooop! If I can find one. Ya’ll remember the hula hoop??? Well I DO and I’m bringing IT back. Talk about fun..and now its been said its also great exercise. Go figure! I can slap my tunes in my earlobes and dance til I DROP rocking my very own PINK hoooop . And that is exactly what I’m going to do even if I have to go to every single Walmart till I find one….When I do? I’m going to blog allll about IT. Lol!

Well, I’m sure I won’t looook this good on ice skates anytime soon..but I’m dang sure doing to try. Been wanting to learn how to ice-skate all my life. And this being the year of my fabulous 50 is just the time to finally do IT. Heard there is an ice skating rink near here too. So if any of ya’ll just happens to be at the rink N you see someone who looks like me wobbling and bobbling around on the rink…catch me if I FALL. Pretty please 🙂

I’ll have on a bit more clothes than Sista girl here..but I’m going to reNEW my love of roller skating sooooon. Honestly? It has been 20 yrs since I was last literally on wheeels. BUT I’ve heard one never forgets something they love to DO..and I truly hope that is true for many reasons!(another topic for another time..) Anyways thankfully there is a roller rink near by and I will be doing this very soooon. Yet another episode for me to blog about in the future I’m sure. So stay tuned it only gets better from here..

Far too long ago I used to run track. Yep! Problem was I was far shorter than all the other runners..and one can only guess what that means. Yep! I didn’t win too many races. So then I switched over to short distance events & that wasn’t quite exciting enough for me. So then I switched over to an activity for the rest of the short petite girls..gymnastics. Perfect FIT..I can’t do back flips anymore(tried recently and wasn’t a pretty sight..) BUT I can still do front flips , splits! , and I can do a mean floor routine..Can’t hang with Gabby but I can hold my own for almost 50. But back to the topic at hand(bad digression!) I want to run a marathon. For a good cause…I don’t have to come in 1st place. And I probably won’t. But I want to start and get to the finish line.

Had many opportunities to ski. Always said NO thank you! Not trying to break a leg or freeeze my fanny off  in teeth chattering cold. But on my new quest to try new things I am going to give it a try…And I am hoping I run into someone who loooooks like the brother in this pic! I’lll be ready to glide on the snowy slopes all day with him as an instructor…Lets SKI

Last but not least I am going to ride a bicycle built for 2..Anyone seen anyone on one of these lately? I recall when used to see them quite often. Don’t people DO things together anymore??? Activities that involve getting OFF the couch? Or that doesn’t  involve sitting down to a meal???   When my , the ONE, discovers me this year and we go for a ride on our bicycle built for 2..I’m going to write/blog and tell ya’ll allll about IT.   Hope everyone out there had a marvelous and Merry CHRISTmas..it was a beautiful love-filled  day on this end. Stay blessed N UPlifted. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 N only)

Posted in @Berna's Book Reviews, Health Matters*, WOW

@U Must Read This in 2013..Berna’s Book Reviews

Welcome all 2 the day after the 21st of December! Yep, I had a feeling we’d still be HERE. Thanks sincerely to my God for giving me yet another day to get closer to fulfilling my God given purpose..

Always wanted to join a bookclub N yet for one reason or another haven’t. Solution? Starting my own!  Whenever I complete a book I’ll post my review here in this category…feel free if you read the book to also post yours here N if you’d recommend it as a must read or not.

I’m going to open this with my number ONE pick/read for 2012. It was recommended to me by my eldest son & is a book that changed my life! Sounds dramatic, right? But it is true. Reading this book changed how I eat, when I eat, how I exercise, amped UP my energy level by 85%, cleared my naturally oily break-out prone skin, got my digestive system running at an elevated level,  dropped 4 sizes(yep! and I was only trying to drop 2 sizes..), firmed/toned my body, made my hair healthier, etc.

The name of the book is “The Beauty Detox Solution” by Kimberly Synder. She’s a clinical nutritionist , fitness expert, & founder of the holistic health company called KS 1Life. The concept of the book is NOT a diet but a change in eating to eat healthier. The book quickly became a best seller and I’ve now read it back to back..twice. I believe in testing books before purchase so I borrowed it from the library several times. And was on a waiting list every time I wanted to renew the book..it is that HOT of a read.

I’ve got to add here that starting on the Glowing Green Smoothie drink is how I began 6 months ago..and it took alot of effort to continue past Day 1!. When I first began on the smoothie I had to literally eat it with a spoon! It was that thick when I made it according to the book. And I’d bought all organic veggies N I refused to let that money go to waste. Organic IS expensive..I’ve since tweaked the recipe so now I can actually drink it with a straw. I began with 6 oz a day and I’m now up to 55 oz a day..that I drink by noon. However, because I dropped so much weight(and don’t care to lose anymore) instead of 6 days a week I’m drinking it 3.5 days a week. I suggest starting off slowly and backing off a bit if you lose too much weight too fast like I did…

While I’ve not yet dropped meat from my diet..as the book hints is best(but I love meat too much!) I do take a daily probiotic as suggested in the book. Believe it or not ingesting that many raw greens can back your system UP..or least it did mine at first. One would think it would be the opposite but for me it wasn’t. Taking a daily probiotic packet did the trick for me. There is alot of effort & discipline involved to continue to make this smoothie to consume the amount I consume. Plus! it doesn’t stay fresh long in the fridge..max I’ve let it stay is 1 day. And I’ve not yet frozen it. I only bought organic my first batch. The amount I consume would cost FAR too much…so now I buy pre-cut pre-washed kale(yep, bitter but I use kale because it has the most nutrients…)  and spinach. I’ve added an extra apple/banana/and frozen strawberries to the recipe also. Still bitter! but not as bitter as it was. Once the results were so evident to me I quickly grew to endure the taste…it is worth it to me healthwise.

If anyone out there decides to try the smoothie feel free to ask questions here N I’ll do my best to answer them. And as with anything new you implement check with your doctor FIRST.  Enjoy the read & please let me know what you think about it…

home cooking: "get me glowing" green...
home cooking: “get me glowing” green smoothie (Photo credit: wyn ♥ lok)

 

Posted in =Self Discovery=, FABulous 50 Bday anticipation.., Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

********50 is NOT the new anything..50 is just 50..Period. Exclamation point********

Any1 who knows/loves me knows I make the BIG 5*0 this coming July 4th..Yep, firecracker for sure out the gate. N though I’m not yet quite 50 yrs old I’m ready 2 talk about the anticipation of making IT. Almost there should qualify me as able to speak on it or least thats the way I see IT. Another 1 to stay tuned for N it will be well worth the wait..~Coming Soon but not soon enough..~Alright I’m back! N going to let the words/my vibe flow..

Listening to Quincy Jones Ultimate Collection & for younger folks reading this that translates to REAL MUSIC..Hope ya’ll go retro sometimes with your music selections 2 truly enjoy how gooood music used to be. But anywayz onto the topic at hand. I’m going to try to properly express why I (a) HATE when I hear the term@50 is the new 40s or even 30s(what the heck?) (b) why knocking on 50 yrs of age doesn’t suck.

WHY is it that people simply can’t enjoy the NOW?  As IF being in the “right here N now” is a bad thing! Oh, but how I’ve personally evolved(and am still evolving..) since my 20s. Lawd only knows! (as do my parents /loved ones/including 2 friends who have known me for 20 plus years) For I cried, literally, the entire day of my 29th birthday. As If somehow that was going to stop me from turning 30. I felt such a sense of loss leaving my 20s behind…and yet now? I wonder with awe how I could’ve been so terribly naive and afraid of aging. Now? I’m doing my very DA*Mdest to  age with grace…gently gliding into the next phase of my life journey. 50! An entire 5 decades older. Half a century…WOW. When I was in my teens 30 was OLD. When I was in my 20s 40 was OLD. Now that I’m on the very doorstep of 50..it just IS. Its not OLD. Its not over-the-hill either(hate that phrase too!) It simply just IS the next phase I’m moving onto. The things that I cherish now are the very same things I took for granted in my 20s..I’m more appreciative of simple things now. Like the mere fact BOTH of my parents are alive N well. I am STILL 2 this day learning from my parents(take note of that younger folks…) As independent-mode-minded as I went crashing out into the outside world from home at almost 20 yrs of age..I! never would’ve thought 1 day I’d stilllll be learning from my parents at dang near 50. Soaking UP their wisdom/experience like one would sopp  up gravy with a biscuit(don’t ya’ll do that?? I do…) I’m guessing 1 of the benefits of making it to 50 is learning that one NEVER stops learning. Once-upon-a-time I was naive enough(the audacity of being youthful/young!) to think I knew it ALL. Pfft. Still 2 this day I don’t know it all; and thank God(& my lucky stars) I finally came to that realization.

50 is NOT the new 30s or 40s. 50 is 50. Period. N yep, big ole exclamation mark. The beauty of making it to 50 is finally feeeeeling the freeeedom to say what I truly feel. Still try to say it with RESPECT(for thats part of my nature..) however, there was a time I was such a people-pleaser(still am in alot of ways) that I’d worry about how they’d feeeel if I said  what was really on my mind. NOT anymore. Now? If you don’t want 2 know my true opinion please do NOT ask me a question. An outstanding brother & lifetime friend of mine once taught me”Never ask a question that you don’t want the answer to” Hmmm lets think about that for a minute. WHY do people ask questions yet their hair is blown back when we answer HONESTLY? Don’t they really want to know  our thoughts when they ask us a question? Most times I’ve found folks really don’t…But thats their problem; not the person they ask the question of. Or least thats the way I see it now. Personally I’ve learned in my almost 50(yep FIFTY) years is I learn SO much when I ask questions N usually I ask them of people who can give me a sound/experienced answer. I’m thirsty for knowledge still at this age! Its almost as if I’ve reverted back to the primary years in the amount of “stuff” that I am soaking up. From every angle, direction, resource..including from other folks behavior/actions/words. IF there is anything “new” about turning 50 for me it is that .  In my 20s & 30s I thought I knew it all so I could’ve honestly cared less to seeeeek others out for knowledge. I felt I was getting that from books..(I’m a lifelong avid reader) How much I thought I knew and in reality knew so little..

Knowledge will make you free
Knowledge will make you free (Photo credit: tellatic)

Again, 50 is NOT the new 30s or 40s. 50 is 50. And inofitself that is a beautiful thing! Personally? As fit as I was in my 20s & 30s I feeeeeel better physically NOW then I have in my entire life. And thats a mouthful folks…I might not be able to climb tall mountains; but I dang sure feel like I can! I didn’t reach my peak like some people do in their 40s..I am there right NOW.  N I’ve not even reached the top of the wave yet..In surfer-dude terms I’m riding the waveeeeee. And I am attempting to DO all I said I was going to do waybackinmy20s. Finally! 2 be able 2 have finally arrived at that point, this phase, is for me “almost” too overwhelming to even try to describe in words. It IS that good 2 me. I could give some advice now to the younger folks reading this. I could try to explain what they’ve got to loooook forward 2 at 50 yrs of age. But honestly? I feel everyone’s experience is different. As different as we are as individuals so are our life experiences. And how we perceive our life experiences..I will say this. 2 anyone reading this but especially those generations behind me. ENJOY every moment of your life! Realize early on that every single, day! is a gift to YOU from GOD. Don’t take it for granted even though in our youth taking things for granted IS  what alot of us do…including me. Listen!/learn/respect your parents always…their  love/support will sustain you for LIFE. Remember as you become parents that parenthood is a LIFElong committment. It never ends…And take ALOT of pictures of your children when you bear children..for they’ll grow faster than you want them to. GET your education so that you’ll be armed to support yourself  and your dreams. Surround yourself always with people you admire/respect/have good morals/make sound judgements. Walk away from people who yearn to pull you down or away from your goals. Gain an early knowledge/regard/honor to the Father that created YOU. And sustain that relationship throughout your entire life. It is the ONE relationship in your life you can’t do without..N last but not least LOVE,LOVE,LOVE and LOVE hard and deeeeply! Starting with YOURself..for love is the true meaning/basis of what life on this earth is about. Or least that is my most sincere and heartfelt feelings on that matter..

Finally 50 is 50. Its a beginning of a different phase of life for me. A phase I’m very cognizant of N that I look 4ward to with the energy N joy of a small child on CHRISTmas morning! If there is anything new about turning 50 it is my new appreciation of every facet of life. I’m looking back alot less these dayz. Looking backwards will cause one to fall down N I’ve no intention of doing anything except standing firmly and moving ONward and UPward. I’ve yet 2 reach the max of my God given purpose. I’m far from finished..When I do reflect on the past 5 decades I reflect on the beautiful memories! The THREE beautiful, Black, young , gifted, intelligent, artistic, brothers I helped to create & co raise. My Black Princes for life…I reflect alot on their smiling childish faces, their 1st steps!, their 1st haircut, teaching them how 2 drive, studying with them till wee hours of the morning hours, watching them play an array of sports, attending PTA meetings for their success/joining school boards for their success/watching them play in bands/watching them accept honor roll awards yr after yr after yr/experiencing their mishaps WITH them/listening to their 1st love stories/driving them 2 their 1st college and having to leave them there..OMG that was tough for me../watching them with PRIDE graduate from high school and college after college after college..progress!..50 is 50 for a reason. To begin anew & fresh and leave the bad memories behind. Finally! To take all the lessons we learned from our mis-steps and realize God 4gives all mistakes and actually doesn’t call them mistakes. I think he calls them…LIFE. I can’t speak for anyone else that is 50 but for me I’m living my dreams N loving my life. Every single minute of it…I wish I could bottle this feeling UP and give it to others. I can’t. But I can share of me with my words…and I hope my words have made someone else’s day a little bit better . Stay UPlifted N blessed ya’ll. N remember 2 count your blessings 2day N everyday. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

MGS exclamation mark
MGS exclamation mark (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Posted in Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

/Do NOT think …Just go with the flow N do IT\

Acts of kindness..Thoughtful acts done for strangers ..Anonymous gifts 2 those in need..Gifts given 2 friends in need that won’t ask for it ..I recently did something for someone and felt really good about it! Something they thanked me for profusely when I told them their wish had been granted..It wasn’t even something that took me great effort other than 2 ask a favor of someone else I hold in great regard/respect..Then just now I saw something on the news, a good story for once!, about a policeman who bought a pair of boots & gave them to a homeless person in need(someone he ran across often & knew needed boots) Brought on this line of thought…

Do NOT think before acting on thoughts you have of spreading gooooodNESS..just go with the flow. For often we can talk ourselves out of doing such things! So when you see a homeless person with a sign that says need money, do NOT think or worry they’re running scam, just GIVE what you can! For who knows you just might be providing them with the only meal they’ll eat that day. When you  physically see/hear of someone you know/love that is in need of something, do NOT think it out, just GIVE what you can! When you have an opportunity to help someone at work by doing a little extra, do NOT think, just GIVE of your extra time to help them out! When it comes time to donate time/money for families in need(Thanksgiving/Christmas or any time) do NOT think, just GIVE freely of your time and what you can monetarily! The list could go on N on but the point has been made…Do NOT give expecting a thank you or reward; give freely from your heart. It comes so naturally from mine I don’t even stop to think nor can I resist the urge to give…It has been said(another old priceless adage..) that when one gives freely they receive back TEN fold. I can hold my hand UP high as a testament that that is very true…I’ve been blessed and I am blessed.

I do hope that sharing this flow of thoughts moves some1, anyone!, out there 2 give freely to someone in need. Just knowing that my words could possibly make that happen gives me great JOY. Have a wonderful , blessed day full of love N laughter..4ever Sincere the 1 N only, Berna

Posted in =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^^Thought Provoking^^

*Chivalry is NOT dead..But what the HECK happened 2 the COURTING process??*

What Happened to Us
What Happened to Us (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Alright folks this  ONE  I can really sink my teeth into! And  at this phase of my life journey I can relate ..Not alot of topics I’ve written on here yet that I am going through as I write or speak on it..But this is IT. Lol!!  Saving this space for this weekend when I have time to give this topic the attention(& finger strokes it deserves..) So buckle UP cause I’ve got a feeeeeeling it is going to be a good one. Guaranteed…

I’ve got alot 2 say on this topic ..so timewise I might have 2 break N finish later on 2night so here I go…

Call me OLDskool (I really don’t mind..) but there are some things I just can’t wrap my brain around at how things have changed. Did I miss the memo on “dating” becoming passA? Or have I been in long term relationships so much in my life journey I wasn’t paying attention?!? Has the new form of courtship turned into “hanging out” “linking up” (wth?) “hook-ups(OMG @this term)” “jump-offs(yep, this is a real term folks..shaking my head” and I’m sure a ton of other so called hip terms I’ve not yet heard. NOR do I want to hear because I refuseee to buy into the hype. Not 2day or any day soon.  So, for those that have been “single and waiting to be discovered by the ONE(which is the category I fall into..) N in the 38-50 age range, how are you dealing with the “new” non-existent courtship reality? Are the days long gone when a guy actually even knows what courtship is? Or knows how it is to date a potential mate-for-life?? N for the record that is the ONLY type of dating I’m interested in. I don’t have time(I am on the brink of 50 folks..) to kiss or date any frogs(a/k/a OLD players or wanna-be-players..sorry but that is SO played out! and quite frankly was never in style in my opinion) N liberated or not..and I hold hand UP high as a liberated woman..is it toooo much to expect a guy to call ME to ask me out on a date?!? I’m not one to call a guy. It just isn’t me…unless I already know him well. In my heart of hearts I feeeeeel if a guy is “interested” he’ll make the phonecalls. And I will answer. Isn’t that the natural order of things? I’m used to being PURSUED. I thought part of the natural process was for a man to do the PURSUING. Isn’t part of the thrill for a guy(correct me if I’m wrong guys..) chasing and trying to attain a worthy potential as your MATE? Lawd! Has the entire book of dating been re-written since I’ve last been…single? ~2 Be Continued~(I’ve got alot more to say…) P.S. When I get back I’m going to ..(a) present a case in favor of COURTSHIP and why the state of dating/marriage is in such a CRAPPY state without it..(b) present a case in favor of COURTSHIP and why bringing back OLDskool wayz is the best solution to solve quickie unsuited marriages N quickie divorces. Buckle UP folks I’m just getting started! B back soon asap so stay tuned…<

4 those that are single/divorced/fresh out of a relationship/or nearing the end of a couple years hiatus from relationships(holding my hand UP on the latter..) N in the age group 38 yrs old to 50 yrs old are YOU happy with  or fulfilled with the current hooook UP/hanging OUT/jump off/linking UP type of culture ? For my “liberated” women sisters out there is the >I’m an INdependent woman!/fun/exciting/liberating mode working out for you as  satisfying/resulting in LONGterm relationships and/or marriage/happiness? Or are you STILL single? Or single again? Hmmmmm…lets let that sink in for a minute. Now mind you this case I’m building on is for those who think the following: 1. that being married is the ultimate love relationship 2. that being married is better than being single 3. that being married is the BEST situation for couples to raise children 4. that marriage provides deeeeep friendship with spouse/personal growth/LASTING intimacy with spouse. If you’re still with me after allll that lets move forward.

I’ll try to explain why I feel courtship is the best process in which to pick the best LIFE mate(at any age!) N for the record I don’t believe soul mates have to be a spouse. Personally I can attest to the fact that in this lifetime I’ve met 2 soulmates. Only married 1 of them…but a lifemate in my opinion..is what I’m seeking in a husband. (I’ll explain that term later if time permits) Courtship to me IS: a process in which the things a couple does are gearing towards finding(which means pursuit guys..) , winning , the right one..and then marriage. The couple is exclusive(yep!) and exerting a high sense of attentiveness and DEPENDability, and care towards the “potential” (I’ll explain another time what I feel a “potential” IS.. I know alot of women, me included, who from the very 1st meeting of a guy determine him immediately(or least I do…) as (a) Just a friend (b) Don’t even want to be his friend! ..total frog! N bad habits/lifestyle toooo bad to even want to be in his company, yuck (c) close to a potential mate but missing a couple essential qualities (d) potential lifemate. So anywayz a decent length of  courtship(dating) allows the couple to actually get to KNOW each other prior to marriage. One might ask what IS a decent time frame for this? Depends..I don’t put specific number of months on this as Steve Harvey does. In my world the BEST things are worth waiting for. So don’t ask me about how long it will be before the you-know-what part. As a couple once ya’ll know each other well ya’ll can figure that out on your own! After all we’re talking about grown folks…

Moving right along…what has happened since courtship is no longer the norm? Anyone know the current statistics on divorce??? Anyone out there know the amount of people who now do NOT even consider marriage N instead just shack UP? (thus leaving children with parents who more than likely won’t stay together..the odds are against it) How about the statistics on folks who sleep together soooo quickly they don’t even truly know who they’re dealing with. I mean , for real,  since our bodies are supposed to be a TEMPLE why would we(women or men) share of something so intimate (the highest of highs!) with someone we don’t know?!? Is it mayhaps folks have lost sight of what the true meaning of intimacy IS? And in my  humble opinion intimacy is a far cry different from sex….We are all grown here, right? Alright, so courtship lets a woman truly know that a man is (a) seriously interested in just HER (b) is willing to take the TIME to prove his intent (c) and is willing to use his CREATIVITY to plan enjoyable activities/outings(could be as simple as a walk on the beach…) to gain her affections and her love. In regards to what courtships lets a man know(I’ve got to guess here cause I’m not a man)  (a) that the woman is seriously interested in only HIM (b) that a woman has the qualities that she said she had on the 1st date!(oh, I meant to add that for women as well) (c) is the type of woman he would be proud to take home to meet his parents(THAT is key in my opinion..)

It is my personal opinon that no matter how much womans’ lib has changed the game the roles of men/women should rightfully stay somewhat close to the roles in which we were created. Period. I think it is because of womens lib that things got so screwed UP in the first place. I can’t speak for any other woman except myself but I only desire a man that is a leader! Has to have a back bone/be strong/be confident!/and is the rightful head of the household. Even the way our physcial & biological makeup is designed points to men being the head…Does this mean that a woman has NO voice or opinion? Absolutely not. Because the  day will NEVER come that I have no opinion. Not in this lifetime nor the next…However I feel there is a happy/loving medium. And it works when both parties desire the same thing and work to make it work. I’ve seeeeen it work for 50 yrs now in my parents marriage(btw they still hold hands N dance 2gether! love IT) …which leads me to another point . How can folks that have NOT seen a long term marriage work truly know what to strive for or expect??? Hmmmmm. Can they? Which is why the cycle of this madness must stop somewhere. In order to get back to the natural order of things. Its gotten SO out of hand…for those of us nearing 50 we’ve seeeeen it and probably lived it! And hopefully learned from it…What I’ve learned is its my inherent desire to take things back to the way they were backintheday. N one of my prayers IS that the man who was created to love ONLY me feels the very same way. And another prayer is that he is somewhere out there-looking for ME-& reading this.  If ya’ll have anything 2 add to this discussion feel free to do so. I’d love to read it and I’ll respond. We can all learn from each others’ experiences…Until then stay blessed N UPlifted. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)

Posted in =Self Discovery=, Motivational!, Things That Make U Say Hmmmm@, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

@Writing IS..therapeutic 4 me as well@

Words
Words (Photo credit: sirwiseowl)

Ya’ll ever wonder what drives a writer to…write?  I can only speak for this aspiring life long writer. But first let me quote a couple people who are infamous for their thoughts on this topic. ” Writing is …a struggle against silence” Quote by Carlos Fuentes. ” And Oprah has a quote , that I can’t find the exact words to right now, but it goes something like this..’Be careful what words are uttered from your mouth or what you WRITE. For the 1st person to hear/see what you say/write is YOU; so don’t limit your ceiling by uttering/thinking  anything but positive things..” I tend to heed or try to learn from people that I admire/respect N Oprah certainly falls into that category for me. I wrote something yesterday that moved me to write this piece..What did I write? I wrote these very words while I was writing something very deeeeeep to someone I care deeply for. “Thank you for reading my vent; for when I write to you(or to anyone ) I’m speaking to myself  probably just as much as I’m talking to you” WOW ..Not sure about other writers but often more than not I’m shocked sometimes by  my OWN flow of thought as I let it flow from the pen or my finger-strokes. I honestly had never realized those very words until I’d..typed them. Mayhaps its because I type so very fast. (about 98 wpm) Mayhaps its because I’ve been writing SO long(since I was a young child) that I’ve forgotten the actual reasons that I..write. It is such a part of who I am and that I just do it; that I’d not stopped to think about the whys. It is simply something I love to do. Even more than talking! N those who know and love me know I loveeeeeeee 2 talk. Ever these dayz on a quest of fully knowing “self” I’ve pondered the above statement since making it. I realize  now that writing is  very N totally therapeutic for me. Especially as I write on topics that I’m pulling from my personal lifelong experiences…Often as I do that trying to encourage someone else or motivate them by sharing; I actually relive N feeeeeeel the emotions/feelings of the experience I’m explaining! Quite often I feel emotionally..spent after writing on those topics. I can’t explain it any other way. And yet more-often-than-not after I’ve written something that I know I’ve said “well” the feeling after writing it is close to ..euphoric. A type of  euphoria I’ve not yet in 49 yrs experienced the same type of  wonderful feeling from(different levels of joy I’ve experienced but not the same..) Thus is one of the main reasons I write. 2 -repeat-that-same-feeling-and-to-always-strive-to-reach-higher-N-higher-levels-of -that-euphoric-feeeeeeling. It feels that GOOD to me.  And as I’ve said before, but I’ll say it one more time, the need within me to touch others in a positive way from my written word is something I can not fight or resist. Took me many moons to come to the realization that my God given purpose was/is to “attempt” to “touch others in a positive ways via spoken N written words…by sharing my personal life experiences. I’ve come to believe N feel it is the primary reason I’m still standing. Intact physically  and with the majority of my marbles still up there. There is an inner child inside of all of us. And that inner child, the very core of who we are, remains consistent even though we evolve and mature. Or least this is my belief. My inner child needs to be stroked , alot! Needs to be told they’re appreciated. Needs to feeeeel loved. Needs to know what she does  is productive and useful. Needs to know she’ll never be alone or abandoned. She is me. N I am her..I am she. I’ve recently become her very, very best friend. I now try to “fulfill” her “needs” myself. Which is what I’ve come to believeeeee is  the way its supposed to be. It is called Self  Love..loving one self from the inside out. Makes one glow! I am finally there..and in doing so a person, in this case me, doesn’t look to others to fulfill those needs. Anything else gained from others in fulfilling those needs is..extra. A bonus! What I wish for other young girls/teen/women reading this is that you possibly learn from my “words” 2 do the same…for you. Why? Because it will mean that you won’t constantly reach out to others, and sometimes others that aren’t good for you, to fulfill those needs. Think about that for a minute for that is a heavy statement. Always when I write and share what I’ve written , AFTER I’ve written I wonder how it will be received. And yet once I release it from my possession. Once I push submit online I feel a sense of ..release. I hope these “words” of mine have touched you reading it in a positive way. I hope you can feel the sincerity in what I’m trying to express…Stay UPlifted N stay blessed. 4ever sincere Berna(the 1 N only)

 

Posted in **RELIGIOUS**, Motivational!, Positive Movement Topic, WOW, ^Encouraging Words, ^^Thought Provoking^^

^YOU better RECOGNIZE, Acknowledge, N Give THANKS…

First & foremost sending out sincere wishes 2 my family/mi familia/coworkers/friends/extended family of friends a  beautiful, loving, relaxing, fun, &  BLESSED Thanksgiving! Woke UP as usual @ O’dark thirty(a Bernaism ..) feeling full of energy, excited, and eager to start the day..As I’ve stated before each N every day has become for me a totally new adventure..I feel like I’m a child on Christmas morning and leap! out the bed ready to run down the stairs to unwrap presents..Remember those days ya’ll? Blessed I am with an excellent memory I can still remember that FAR back…I feel compelled to share what I’m about to say for 2 reasons: 1. To give thanks to my God , again, in a public forum thereby adding to the sincerity of my gratitude 2. To hopefully encourage someone else to STOP for a moment and count their blessings as well.

The truly ironic thing about this is that just a mere 4  years ago..I’d not have stopped to count my blessings nor even recognized my blessings. Which in-of-itself means you can at this very moment begin to “change” so that you can also “see” your blessings N give thanks. What better day to begin than on this day of Thanksgiving? Anywayz fast forwarding to the message I’d like to share..a very BIG blessing that recently happened in my life. I tell ya’ll when God’s hand is IN a situation in our lives he does things in a BIG way. And it is my belief that we/one must acknowledge/give God his props/and be N act thankful. Period. Exclamation point. 

About 3.5 months ago I was BLESSED with a JOB that I not only love..but I’ll go as far as to say it is the BEST  career opportunity I’ve ever had. Hands down..and I’ve held/had some really good jobs ya’ll. But this one stands at the #1 spot. Many of ya’ll out there know people who actually LOVE what they do from 8 -5?? If a poll was taken right now how many would hold their hand UP? I’m not talking about just loving the salary/benefits. I’m not talking about just loving working in a beautiful environment. Nor am I talking about loving vibing with or working well with coworkers. What I’m talking about is LOVING every single aspect of  what one does as a means of self-support for 40 hours a week. What I honestly love the most about my job is knowing without a shred of doubt that what I “do” every day at work..is helping to improve clients lives in a positive/progressive manner. I never even knew how much that meant to me..until I was BLESSED ..with this position. And the ironic part about it all? I knew nothing of the position when I applied online. Nor did my church sister who mentioned to me I might want to check out the organization’s website for “possible” openings. So I did. And on the very same day I went online at approx 2 pm…the position was closing at 5 pm! Wowww. So anywayz I submitted my resume & filled out the online application. For a position I knew nothing about! Real talk folks…For an organization I “thought” I knew what it stood for(I’ve since learned it stands for FAR more than I knew prior) Fast forwarding…out of alot of applicants there was a final top 3. I was the runner UP out of the 3. Now I never aspire to be anything but number ONE..but this time it paid off for me being #2. For reasons unbeknownst(not a Bernasim but love being able to use this word!)  to me after being chosen. And after showing interest in being chosen. #1 choice all of a sudden poof! just didn’t come through. WOW. After I’d been told I didn’t have the position all of a sudden I was called and asked if I’d come in to begin the screening process. (which consisted of a full background check, full Lifescan & criminal history check,drug testing) Well my hair was blown back! I’d just licked my wounds over not being #1 and not being chosen…So of course I said I’d love to come in and do that! And I kid you not I almost ran from place to place over a span of 3 hrs to get it all done quickly as possible . And here I sit 3.5 months later in a position I didn’t think I had & a position that I wasn’t the #1 pick for..but that I now feel I was THE perfect choice for. Wowwww.

This is just one example of things happening in my life lately in which I’ve learned that..When something is for YOU it will happen. Regardless of how much it looks like it..won’t. It will! Now some out there might say it just happened to work out for me…But I don’t believe that! I believeeeee God’s hand was in it. Period. Exclamation point. And though its already been near 4 months I am STILL giving thanks N props to my God. I think that is important. Or least it is in my world these dayz..So on this Thanksgiving Day I want to say one ‘mo time. THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING ME WITH MY JOB! And also thank you for the other many blessings in my life now and for allll the times that I did not give you the glory. Because now that I “see” with clarity with my spirit instead of trusting only what my eyes see it has changed my entire walk. For now every day I feeeeeel like I’m walking on air. And yet I am still staying grounded…

If I may ask all of ya’ll to STOP for a moment today. Try to find a quiet place in the house. Close your eyes. Speak with your heart/spirit and call upon the Holy Spirit. Conjure UP thoughts of allll the loved one in your life, allll the friends who grace your life with gooooodness & positive words, alll the coworkers who help you to feel welcome and/or to do your job better, allll the people you encounter while handling business affairs or shopping that offer customer service(rare these days but it still exists..) , allll the strangers who give off such a good vibe when you meet them they become instant dear friends/confidants..Just take a moment 2 recognize, acknowledge that God brought them into your world and then..Give God the glory and the sincere THANK YOU that is deserved.

Again ya’ll have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family/friends..N remember to count your blessings 2day and every, single day. Sincerely, Berna(the 1 N only)