Humiliation personified .. A surreal scene mayhaps for those who aren’t racist ; but for those of us Black Americans and minorities who have been there or seen it’s become an every day moment reality that still reeks of ISH.. Many of us , including myself!, have sons same age as the victims .. Makes it terribly personal .. And YES I said victims .. I’ve sat in MANY Starbucks from Barnes and Noble to Target stores and just SB sites ; and had meetings , link upS or just to hang out and READ.. I’ve used their restrooms whether I purchased a product or NOT.. And not once as an American Black woman have I been arrested .. Not 1 time from coast 2 Coast.. For the record to preface I’ve got a myriad of friends of all colors , sexual orientation and genders.. IF I must state I’m not racist here it IS I’m not , but what I am is a Black American woman proud of my culture and Co- parent of 3 amazing , astounding grown Black SONS .. And to quote former POTUS Obama this could’ve been one of MINE.. Honestly, I fully support and stand behind ANY person unjustly villified .. It just is not right to judge anyone , lest alone based on color of one’s skin color . These 2 college graduates weren’t wearing hoodies ! They weren’t thugs yet they were treated like thugs .. Like CRIMINALS.. Those words @ I feared for my life… I’ve heard from my own sons breathing while Black and innocent yet targeted .. For nothing .. Which IMO is the worst type of words a parent can hear from sons they’ve birthed and raised to do the RIGHT things .. Starbucks IMO let this manager who called the police OFF lightly .. Allowed her to resign , mutual parting , pfft! Many of US would’ve been FIRED for far less .. Now Starbucks due to many of US refusing to remain paying our big bucks to them ; is taking ONE day for racial unbiased training.. 1 DAY a month in advance to roll back how many years of racial ISH? Want to impress me? Why is it planned so far in advance ? Why not teach racial non bias as part of training ; period ? WE don’t need short term 1 day so called solutions .. Truth IS they hired a racist person ..What is the long term solution to keep that from happening again and again ? And mind you this isn’t an isolated Starbucks issue.. IMO with Trump thumping racist behavior and condoning it; this is becoming more and more common… Thankfully ! this time no one was murdered .. As a collective group Black and Brown have HUGE spending power .. I will not cater to companies who don’t treat those who look like ME with great fair customer service .. Ever .. Might mean being inconvenienced or making my own coffee or whatever .. But saving lives and dignity in the long run is worth it.. IF I was on fire ! and the only water available was in a Starbucks cup of coffee I would rather burn to death .. Period .. I recall when Starbucks had to close stores during the recession due to over saturation .. If it depends on my money , and I’m a coffee lover, they’ll close many more until they stand for fairness and equality . Let’s rap…
Well I’m back y’all! Miss vibing & free-versing with each and every one of you!! My writing hiatus has come to an abrupt end; and I only wish first topic on my mind, bursting to be blogged out, was not about our country’s unfortunate state of affairs..Hang on to your hats and buckle UP because I’ve got alot to say on the Trump-inspired-torch-carrying-hate-filled-White Supremist-violent/deadly-rampage that happened last weekend at the University of Virginia ~~~2 B Continued This Weekend~~
Disclaimer: I don’t claim to know all the answers..to anything. But what I do speak on I’ve lived. Through trial & error; and this theory is what works for me. In every aspect of my life it is working; only exception is my last love relationship. Which honestly I’ve not applied the time it deserves..but the right time for that is coming. Soon. Very soon. Anyways I say all of that to say I practice what I preach. Moving right along>
Keep it moving means exactly what it implies. Stay busy reaching/striving for your goals/dreams! This is a conscious “choice” we can make. And it is necessary; if one wants to make sound, progressive choices instead of excuses. Ever met a person that just goes on and on about would’ve , should’ve , could’ve? They’re probably also a couch potato ..as IF that will help them do some of those things they wish they could’ve done. Staying busy , productive, and progressive keeps my mind clear of unnecessary clutter and B.S.! I simply don’t have time for it..and the rest of the time I’m sleep. But still working on getting more of that. But anyways moving right along>
Kis..yep, almost just as good as kiss! Keep it simple..Choose what you want to do. List the things it will take to get the job done. And one by one knock down the things on that list..before you know it..mission accomplished! Keeping it simple allows one to NOT get distracted(or delayed) by unnecessary complications. “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler” Quote by Albert Einstein
I used to live by chance..Trying to do everything in a perfect manner. Wound up feeling disappointed in myself alot because..a state of perfection doesn’t exist! When I chose to grab life and my goals..by the cajones and just do IT..I’ve been a cazillion times more effective in achieving what I set out to do. And a heck of alot happier/comfy in my own skin/content 100% with my choices/decisions. Sometimes you just have to step out on FAITH. Been there and doing it. Alot. It is never an easy walk; but waiting for others to decide my fate left me feeling unfulfilled. NO one person , nobody, can make the best choices for an adult that will leave that person feeling wonderful. But making a choice that is right for me(you); regardless of whether it fails or not..has been awesome for my soul and self-esteem. When the choice, my choice, works!..I feel like I’m walking on air/gives me more confidence to make more choices & decisions/and motivates me to strive higher. The impossible truly is possible..ya’ll will just have to trust me on that one. Or try it for yourselves.
IF there is something about your life you’re not content with; work to change IT. We all know the type of folks who whine about this or that..yet do nothing to change it. That is their choice..however for those that truly want to make a change..just DO it. 17 months ago I took a leap of faith(for the 1st time in my life journey) and I’ve never looked back…Change? It is possible if you want it badly enough. Even at almost 50 yrs of age.
Last but not least most of us have a very, very strong relationship with our “inner voice”. That “gut” feeling. I call mine my “vibe radar”..when I feel good vibes from a person or an environment..99.9% of the time it is spot on. Same for the vibes I get when I’m making a decision or choice. Its called intuition. With most women it is strong; problem is we don’t listen to it half as much as we should. Until we get older/wiser/stronger/BETTER..or maybe that is just how its worked out for me. Word of advice? Learn yourself. Learn what you’re skilled at. Learn what you do BEST. Strive to figure out your GOD given talents. We ALL have them; just some of ya’ll don’t use them or don’t know what yours are. Learn your flaws and your faults. Admit them and work on improving them. Daily..Learn your weaknesses. Try to either stay “away” from them or get stronger so they won’t be a weakness. Its my belief the more one learns themselves; the more one’s inner voice can be heard and felt. Real talk. It works if you work it. Least that is the way I see IT…Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the one & only)
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Or do they?…That question is just begging to be asked/discussed. But whether it can be answered simply is yet to be seen or done. Its indeed a quite complex situation that needs direct action/solutions to change it. The finger-pointing, complaining, and blame game isn’t changing a thing…
Ever heard the old adage @’Put your money, where your mouth is?’..And when a person DOES indeed , do just that, shouldn’t they rightfully be able to speak their mind about it? Well..when Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey..after years and years of donating tons of MONEY to inner city schools and Black colleges spoke out there was outrage from many in the Black Community. Yet, the issues they both spoke out on still exist to this day, if not moreso…
**I don’t pretend to know all of the answers to this issue or any issue I blog about..What I do intend to do is lay down some of the background/state my opinion/and pray like heck it can urge folks reading this to care enough to DO something to change things for the better. ANY generation is supposed to move to higher levels than the one before it. It is something my own Daddy taught me /practiced/and believed in since I was born…It is the same practice I practiced with my sons..And it should be what everyone is doing. I did NOT disagree with what either Bill Cosby or Oprah Winfrey have publicly said.. I’ll explain why & will also recant a conversation I had just last night with a LIFElong Black educator that has worked hands ON with inner city youth..~~
The biggest issue I’ve got with all of the “outrage” about what Bill Cosby & Oprah have said IS..nothing has been done since to IMPROVE the situation or the statistics they spoke of. Furthermore, no one! had an issue with either of them when they poured MILLIONS of their money into Black inner city schools/areas and Black colleges. As a matter of fact, for those who recall, even as far back as when he was doing the Cosby show…Bill Cosby was donating mega bucks to education AND mentoring the youth on his show to go TO college. So no one can say he didn’t put his money where his mouth is..but when he finally got fed UP and spoke on what he saw & felt was reality?!? Whoa! suddenly majority of folks, Black folks, forgot ALL the years & moolah he’d donated and he was instantly a “traitor/elitist/classist/ill-informed/& just downright wrong to have aired the Black community’s dirty laundry. BUT the question is’Was he wrong??’
I can answer that for I’ve far less money and no celebrity status like Cosby(which is why I actually think folks got mad about what he said…but thats another topic for another time) and my answer is NO, he wasn’t wrong. He was so dead on that its beyond embarrassing to admit..but that doesn’t make it any less true. Here is just a tidbit of info to substantiate his stance >
How much money does one have to donate/give voluntarily before their opinion matters??? Where else was Bill Cosby or Oprah supposed to have “aired” their feelings on the matter? First of all Oprah was responding to folks “complaints” about where she spent HER money to build a school…and then folks got mad when she said what she said! *slapping forehead*
I was having a conversation last night with someone about education..He’s been an educator for the majority of his LIFE..Actually came out of retirement to mentor/teach children again..Has received lifetime achievement awards for all he’s done..and yet guess what? He said the same thing that Bill Cosby and Oprah have said. And yep, he’s Black also; just not filthy rich like them. He basically said todays’ Black youth just don’t get it! And that they take an education for granted; whereas in other countries like Africa(where Oprah opened her school..) they don’t. One of the things Oprah did say is ask kids what they want here; they’ll said an Ipad. Ask kids in Africa and they’ll say books or uniforms to go to school…which is why Oprah said she finally just stopped visiting American schools. What would you have done? I’ve even heard folks say well rich folks get a tax break for donating..which is true. BUT they didn’t ‘have ” to choose to donate to Black schools or colleges. Enough with the excuses ..we ALL know the situation is as bad as Cosby and Oprah said it was. If not worse. So why not keep it real and do something to change it? Like Oprah did..
1. Don’t wait until your child is born to READ to them..Begin reading to them in the womb. Sounds insane, but it works! And you’ll actually feel them moving around in your womb more when you’re reading; if they like the book.
2. Start teaching your child about college before they can speak..They’ll hear you & they’ll remember. I preached college so much to my sons; that I’m sure they were sick of hearing it..and my neighbors probably were also. But I meant it…and my goal was to get all 3 sons into the college door. And that mission was accomplished.
3. Join PTA groups, GO to ALL parent teacher conferences for every , single report card..if you can’t get off from work then have the teacher do it over the phone. They will…they’re public servants and work for YOU..and most of them want to do their job. Alot of educators are shocked at the amount of parents NOT involved in their child’s education. It is NOT their job to do the job of teaching everything to YOUR child. It won’t work unless its a 2 party agreement. Teacher + Parents or Parent
4. Turn the boob tube OFF while kids are studying. Promote a study environment..this carries on with them for life. Take them to the library so they get used to READING and studying in a quiet environment. And censor/limit the amount of time they watch the boob tube, period. Also censor what music they listen to. I cared less our sons could still hear it outside of our home..I was NOT going to contribute to it in our home. Its about the best a parent can do these days
5. Link up with people on school boards your child is in or run for school board positions. I learned a TON of stuff I didn’t know when I ran for/attained a position on a Catholic school board. A ton of valuable insight..
6. Talk to your kids very early on about what college they want to go to…long before they enter high school..Start the talk about mid 8th grade for the high school years will fly by!
7. Do NOT make not going to college an option..it is a MUST these days.
8. Start saving for college when they are BORN. This is one of the biggest differences between the “classes”..most of them time “us” working folks feel we can’t afford to save for our kids college funds. BUT if you’re driving a car that costs 80,000/wearing tennis that cost 200/and carrying a purse that costs 1,000…you could’ve afforded to put that money in an account or investment for your kids college fund. WE have got to get our priorities straight.
Another one of those tough topics we hate 2 discuss; yet know it exists. Might as well bring it to the forefront during Black History Month. I needed a title to GRAB your attention; now that I’ve got it the real subject of this piece is about=Black women who hate on interracial relationships…well least the ones that involve Black brothers dating White women. Ya’ll ready for this?!? I won’t sugar coat this subject because it leads to a topic that is far too important to ignore or to dilute. That IS if we care about the future generations. Or least this is the way I see it..
First a few statistics that might help bring things into focus..According to ,thesentencingproject, more than 60% of people in American prisons are racial & ethnic minorities. 60% ! And having worked in a state prison in Cali I can tell you first hand ; MOST of them are very young Black males.(seeing this day to day was heart wrenching to say the least) 1 in 10 of Black males in their 30s; is in jail or prison on any given day currently in America. 2/3 of ALL persons in prison for drug offenses are people of color..Now let that sink in for a minute. I personally think we’ve got FAR bigger fish to fry; than worrying about White women snagging Black men..However, given this background info one could see how problematic snagging a good Black man could be nowadays. But now onto the topic at hand…
Before I go any further I want to make my position clear..I’ve no issue at all with my Caucasian sisters who dig/date/marry my Black brothers. I can totally understand why; 100%! Major props to them for having excellent taste; and I feel exactly the same way…
My two biggest issues with this topic are..#1 My brothers who feel they MUST drag us down to the gutter; just because they prefer dating other than Black women. Personally? I care LESS who people date. Honestly…you could date flying purple elephants for all I care. BUT why “try” to tear us down on the way out the door??? As IF those who do(not all do…) don’t also have Black mothers/daughters!/and relatives. When you diss ALL of anything; you’re also dissing your own..Very UNcool and gets NO respect from me. In a silent manner of course..
Let me add here I don’t know ANY women like the ones portrayed in the pics I’ve posted…but I know they exist. And when some of us look bad; its a bad LOOK for all of us. We stand together or fall apart..Why place blame on others instead of first getting own self together? Because even the most educated & so called “together” person can have issues. I don’t know a person ALIVE who doesn’t have some type of issue or baggage..and the first one to say they don’t has the MOST issues. I don’t care who it is. Even saying you don’t have an issue; is an issue. So count that as #1 issue on the list. My point is when you can look in the mirror and love “self”; you don’t blame or hate on anyone else when things don’t go your way. You just keeeeeep it moving until things fall into place. Why take it personally? Some Black men just prefer dating a variety of women….OR could be some might have gotten tired of not being treated like the KINGS they are. I’m sure there are as many reasons as there are people on the planet. But being ugly about it isn’t the answer; least not in my opinion. What that does is add to the already much hyped image of an “angry Black woman” stereotype…and some of us are so far removed from that image that I find it highly, highly! offensive. Bottom line is if Black women truly dig our Black brothers; that means respecting/supporting them 100%. Even when it means they decide to choose someone other than a Black woman as his..Queen. We all have options these days…
For me though I’m waiting on my chocolate KING to come sweep me off my feet..we all have preferences/choices and must learn to respect others for theirs. Just remember one important thing ; when my “the one” does find me this year? He is OFF limits to all of ya’ll! Private stock and I don’t believe in sharing…Stay UPlifted, 4ever sincere Berna (the 1 & only)
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~Whether or not its a discussion as OLD as the hills; it is still sadly enough relevant in 2013. I’m willing to bet there isn’t a Black person in America who hasn’t been affected by the color issue . In some form or another..and the type I’m talking about is Black on Black. As funky as it IS and as mind blowing it is…Colorism is alive and well amongst us. Even for those folks who “think” they aren’t colorstruck. As simple as it might seem to “others” to NIP it; it is very complex indeed. Disclaimer: As always these are merely one person’s observations/experiences/opinion. Mine. Ready? Get set! Here I go head first , again….
I recall watching my teenage heart throb(is that phrase even used nowadays? oh well, I’m old skool till the day I die…) beholder of the handsome face plastered allllll over my bedroom walls on posters; slowly MORPH into something horrific. The once beautiful brown skin with the just PERFECT wide nose and the full , luscious lips just poof! …gone. I couldn’t for the life of me understand WHY someone with so much talent could HATE their brown skin /Black features enough to do that to themselves. What happened to MY Michael??? Object of sooo many of my naive teenage dreams? Author of the OFF THE WALL album which was the BEST album of the century? How could he possibly have NOT liked himself when I and millions of others loved him so??? I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. How could anyone NOT love being BLACK?…..
So that was about the time I decided to dig a little deeper…Taking mental notes of my own personal experiences as well as reading, reading , reading about others experiences. And of course quietly observing…
Before I delve deeper let me preface by saying..I LOVE BEING BLACK. Exclamation mark. Period..and I make no apology for it. Anyone who is anyone should be proud to be who they are and what they are..and if you don’t like who you are work to change IT. However, one’s skin color should be something to be proud of for it is given to us by GOD for a reason. Or least that is how I feel about it. IF he wanted us to be any other color certainly we’d have been born that way…OR better yet IF he wanted us to all look alike he’d have done that too! But it is my inherent belief he made us different colors for a reason…but that is another topic for another time.
So one might ask if being Black is so awesome; why does colorism exist? Why are we still stuck on being COLORstruck? Haven’t we evolved enough past slavery to get past THIS ?!? And we all know it stems from slavery; doesn’t it? Hmmmm Yep, my questions bring more questions that even I can only guess the answer to; or assume. Which I hate to do! So I began listening to others experiences…the pain!(like Michael Jackson’s ..) my people have gone through due simply to the color of their skin. IF a person keeps hearing or seeing over and over and over and over again negative connotations associated with “anything”(including their skin color) what will eventually happen? And what will that person then pass on to their children???
One way to change something is to start with changing our OWN behavior…Or whatever is possible to change within our power. I recall when my sons were much smaller…People would remark about their skin color being light or lighter or whatever. And the good hair comments OMG..WE have got to let go of that also. But that is another topic for another time…My response was always the same. Do NOT bring that mess around me or my sons! I won’t allow them to even think! they’re any less Black than anyone else due to their skin tone or hair. NOR will I let anyone else plant the seeds of those thoughts into their heads..What you do or say around your children is your business; but what you say around mine is MY business. And I was serious. Also, I ‘ve had people walk straight UP to me and ask “What are you. Are you mixed?” Wth? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? I’m just good ole fashioned BLACK. Period. That has honestly been my response when anyone is ignorant enough to ask that question…I’d never ask anyone that, jeeeeez. Black IS Black folks. I don’t care if you’re one ounce Black…still BLACK. Sometimes I wish we’d gotten stuck in a time warp in the days of ‘Black is Beautiful!”..wasn’t that the 70s?
I once had a brother tell me, to my face!, that I wasn’t dark enough for him to date…WOW. Blew my hair back because I’d never been told that before. Least not to my face. Appreciated his honesty, but dang!, still hurt my feelings. What the heck can I do about my skin color? Not a dang thing; nor do I plan on “doing” anything about it ..except loving IT. By the way we “did” end up dating and he’s an outstanding brother(& one of my best friends in the world) that has no regrets…
We come in many shades that run the gamut …There are expectations/judgments/so called advantages/and slights that boost one shade of brown over another..It needs to NOT only be discussed but STOPPED. Generation after generation is carrying it forward. I recall when my youngest son started dating his high school sweetheart..first thing my ex husband said was”Whew! I’m glad to see he isn’t colorstruck!” Because she was dark-skinned..and my comment was”Why would he be? We raised him to not be; didn’t we?!? ” But then we talked about it and we really had NOT ever discussed it with our sons per se…all we did do though was not to label people by color. I’m not really sure what the answer is to stop colorism from continuing to re-cycle..I think one sure way to start though is by addressing it. We know it exists. And society knows it exists; google UP what Loreal did to Beyonce’s skin in an ad if you don’t believe me. We also know that it causes DIVISION, schism and contention among us as Blacks. We can either continue to just discuss it every Black History Month or whenever; and then forget about it. OR we can discuss it and act on changing our own behavior. One person at a time might start a movement to nip it..I think that just might be how major movements/CHANGE begins. Until I read/write ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)
IS this fact or fiction? I’ll present my opinion and findings; and let ya’ll figure out which it is. Might as well take down one of the toughest topics first …Can we really talk about this without people getting all amped UP ,righteous,offended ,or showing a display of utter ugliness a/k/a ignorance? I hope so & guess we’re getting ready to find out because I’m going in head first..First, let it be known. I’ve personally evolved alot on my stance regarding this topic. I’ll be the first to admit it; though majority who know me never knew my true feelings on the matter years ago or even now. This is such a “taboo” topic that I’ve not discussed alot…in public. (and thats saying ALOT because I talk ALOT) Isn’t it something how lifes circumstances, personal growth, and knowledge on a particular subject matter can totally flip a person’s opinion?!? Or am I the only one that has happened to? Hmmmmm …And before anyone asks NO I’m not. Nor am I bi-curious. I’m as straight as an arrow and I love everything about being a woman. A woman that loves everything there is to love about MEN. However as my faith has grown so has my awareness of;things. And my love of people including different cultures has also molded my opinion on; things. As a loved child of GOD I’ve come to the realization that we are ALL loved children of GOD. Exclamation point. Period. As humans I don’t feel we can put a level of “percentage”(for lack of a better word) GOD places on sin..A sin is a sin , right? WHO are we to say who is going to be condemned or not for so called; sins? WHO are we to say what is a sin in the first place? And IF homosexuality is a sin hypothetically speaking and IF sex outside of marriage is a sin(doesn’t the Bible say it IS????) and IF adultery is a sin(“ditto”…) then who are WE to say which of those sins will have the higher percentage of winning us a spot in HELL? Truth IS none of us living folks knows…Nor do I feel we have to right to judge anyone else’s so called “sins” . (just my opinion but there are too many things listed as sins! When I found out even thoughts about “lusting but NOT touching” was a sin??? I was shocked… *slapping forehead* )Isn’t it also in the Bible that WE aren’t to judge others? I’m going to dig myself in a little deeper..Buckle UP>
Another thing that helped me to open my eyes/ears/mind regarding homosexuality? The multiple sources(a kind word because they’re really hypocrits) that were fueling my opinion/belief. Religious leaders including priests all yelling from the rooftops how wrong it was. And then came story after story to the light about same sex (with children no less! ) incidents from the likes of Eddie Long and only God knows how many priests…From politicians to celebrities to high ranking officials incidents of “suspect behavior” became more rampant. It began to seem like the very people proclaiming the loudest about it being wrong; were actually involved in “activities”(for lack of a better word) that make them “appear” to either be …a. homosexual b. homosexual c. enjoy homosexual activities. Doesn’t that qualify as being hypocritical? I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to answer that one…Or is it called a cover? And isn’t it pretty foul to inflict such awful labels on people all the while knowing self is guilty of the SAME? To make matters worse alot of said leaders spouting the prejudice opinions; are in positions that can alter a person’s livelihood. For instance, changing laws like the don’t ask/don’t tell policy…Question. Why should what a person does in THEIR bedroom affect whether they can maintain or get a job or not??? Answer. It should not. And the fact that it ever did is WRONG
Question..Are WE a tolerant people? And this can be answered by anyone by the way; Black or White. For my Black brotha’s & sista’s don’t we want to be accepted in society and not biased against due to our skin color? Yep! Then how can we NOT understand the plight of homosexuals? For my White brothers & sisters don’t ya’ll want people to stop riding you for things that happened back in yesteryears a/k/a slavery? Is that not a form of acceptance? Then how can ya’ll not understand the plight of homosexuals? This topic is truly bugging me because as a people we’ve all got to come together. Whether Black, White, Purple!, Straight, Homosexual, or whatever…and until we drop the labels/the finger pointing/the highmightyness/the divisions based on trivial stuff; it won’t happen. For my Christian peoples out there? WE can do better…Should we not love everyone? Aren’t we all brothers & sisters? Yes, we should and yes, we are
None of my sons are homosexuals. BUT if they were I’d still love them! With all of my heart/being as I do now..I was asked that question long ago & even then I felt the same way. Yet, there are many Black parents who would struggle to answer that question…For far too long one of the worse fears was that one’s child would say they’re gay. It is my belief that the seed was planted long ago. And it goes deep..or least the theory I believe could explain why homophobia does exist in Black America. After all the Black Male’s sexuality has long been talked about/envied/admired/and lusted after by ALL..stemming at least as far back as slavery. If one studies African American & Literature/History you might stumble upon these findings..if not you don’t believe me google it. But, in slavery days there is evidence to suggest that young Black boys & Black men were forced to have sex with their White male slave owners…There were even plantations that existed, not for growing crops, but for the purpose of breeding BOYS, MEN, and girl slaves for sexual pleasure. I knew Black girls/women slaves were raped but I had no clue about the boys/men…James Baldwin also spoke of it past slavery in “Evidence of Things Unseen”. Which leads me to wonder how long this was carried on beyond the years of slavery? Could this be why homophobia still exists in Black America today? I vividly recall the Black Church being very unhappy recently when President Obama stood up for same-sex marriages..and actually expected an apology from him! Yet, those very same churches said absolutely NO negative words against Eddie Long for his transgressions against male children! I’m sorry but I’ve got a major issue with anyone imposing their sexual desires on children…IF anything is a sin that has got to be HIGH on the list. However, its my belief IF one’s homosexual desires wasn’t still considered “taboo” or “wrong” ; people wouldn’t feel they have to hunt down vulnerable , helpless prey . Like children. I’m not saying that makes it right, but I’m struggling(and I struggle badly trying to wrap my brain around this crime! against children) for reasons why people would do such a horrific thing. People who otherwise look normal and sane…
I’m a people lover. I enjoy speaking with all people & learning different cultures/backgrounds/beliefs…I’m also a talker with a gift for gab. I’ve been known to say I can find common ground to speak to anyone & hold my own. I can and I have. From paupers to kings..I won’t say I changed my opinion on homosexuality because I’ve had/have gay friends. That isn’t the reason…the reason is because it is NOT my business what a person’s sexual orientation is. Nor is it theirs what mine is. We can chat/interact/find things in common that have nothing to do with SEX..that is called friendship. No different than I have male friends(that I’ll never have sex with) the case is the same for my gay friends. Do we agree with everything that our straight friends do in their lives? Nope. We share common ground enough to be drawn to each other as friends; but there will be differences. Even co-joined twins have differences…it is what makes us unique. I truly feel we’ve got to adopt love for everyone . Understanding and tolerance has to become the norm. We all must work harder to learn to accept things we don’t understand. We have to give what we want back in return…LOVE
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February is Black History Month in America…The controversial question that still begs 2 be answered IS= Does America really NEED a Black History Month? And if so, why is it important? Also, is ONE month tribute ENOUGH? For those that are BLACK; aren’t ya’ll BLACK every single day? For those that aren’t Black ; do you attempt to learn anything new regarding Black History during February? One last question I’ll give my views on= IS Black History Month just a “token” given to Blacks to put a band-aid on old wounds? WHY is it so difficult to have a decent, honest, OPEN dialogue about RACE still in America today? ~~~~~ First, a brief history lesson on how Black History Month came to be. Or do ya’ll already know? Oh well , for those that don’t know it began because of the efforts of Dr. Carter G. Woodson & Rev. Jessie E. Moorland. Dr. Woodson was the former son of SLAVES and the SECOND Black person in history to receive a degree from Harvard University. Because Dr. Woodson felt preserving one’s heritage was important he urged the fraternity, Omega Psi Phi, to create ‘Negro History and Literature Week’ in 1920. He “chose” February to honor two men who had a great deal to do with altering the future of Black Americans. President Abraham Lincoln and Abolitionist Frederick Douglas(both men were born in February) Thus the creation of what we now celebrate as Black History Month in America was born…
I’ll briefly answer my own questions I posed earlier..Later, I’ll dig deeper. First of all , NO, Black History Month, isn’t a “token” given to Blacks in America for any old wounds caused by years & years & years & YEARS of slavery…As I’ve briefly explained earlier Black History Month was created by a Black man for Black American citizens to feel a sense of PRIDE about themselves..Something that was badly neeeeeeded when he first worked so diligently to have it created. Next, do I feel America still needs a Black History Month? Yes, I sure DO…Why is Black History Month important? I’ll dig deeper into that later. Aren’t Black Americans Black & proud every day and not just during Black History Month? Well , I sure AM. Every morning when my feet hit the floor and I look in the mirror I know several things for sure. I AM BLACK. I am a WOMAN. I am a loved child of GOD. Not necessarily in that order but being Black is always first…and I make no apologies for that. But later I will try to explain why. And the last question=WHY in the heck is it so very difficult to have an open & honest dialogue(among Blacks , Whites, and any other race/color/creed) about RACE in America??????! Especially when WE all know it is still very much an issue in our country….
For the naysayers, Black and White, who want to keep their heads in the sand; and think RACE issues don’t still exist in our country…Ask President Obama’s good friend Henry Louis Gates, Jr if it does. A highly! educated Black man who in recent years was reminded that NO matter how educated he was/is..he is still BLACK. Not even being the close friend of the President of the United States could save him from public humiliation. Just because WE don’t discuss race issues doesn’t meant it isn’t still an issue…And mayhaps IF we did discuss it more(in a civil fashion..) it could finally begin to solve the issue. Unless you were blind and deaf you certainly have seen RACE raise its ugly head just prior to and since President Obama became President of the United States…I don’t have enough time to list all the ways but ya’ll can google all the incidents/things said/happenings if you don’t believe me..
In my opinion , Black History Month, is necessary to educate ALL American citizens..Quiet as kept there are MANY Blacks who don’t even know their own history! For IF they did why would “some” feel Black History Month is no longer necessary? Begun by a Black man to give Blacks a sense of pride; I truly think it is still needed for that very reason..and more. Mayhaps if other races are educated about Blacks the race issues would cease! As I’ve said many times before we are ALL far more alike ; than different. And often times ignorance about a topic can cause people to have distorted beliefs/thoughts about said topic. Note to parents: IF you’re depending on the American public educational system to teach your child about being BLACK or about other races or Black History …it won’t happen! Get them books, share their family tree with them/ share with them family history stories..etc..KNOWLEDGE is POWER. My sincere hope/prayer is that people are indeed learning something new every single time Black History Month rolls around…As much as I’ve studied Black History including my own family history; I’m still learning new things my dang self. It is closed minds that will take far longer to move past the old ways of thinking…
~~As a person I love ALL people…of all races/creeds/beliefs. As a Catholic Christian I know we are ALL loved children of GOD. I don’t understand how any Christian could with good conscience call themselves a Christian and yet HATE with the level of hate I’ve seen/witnessed/experienced! ; simply based on the color of one’s skin. Matter of fact there is no one on this planet I hate. There are a handful of people I ‘ve run into that I don’t care for; real talk. But I don’t hate them. I just don’t care to spend ANY of my precious time being around them nor speaking of them. And only one of them isn’t Black.. I’m still praying on how to get past that…never said I was perfect.
Quite honestly in recent years I’ve heard the N word used more by Blacks than anyone else..As a word of affection no less! What kind of shiiite is that?!? You can’t turn a WORD thats past is so negative that Blacks died cause they REFUSED to be called that word; into a positive word. I don’t care if it is JUST a word. I don’t allow it to be said in my surroundings . And I didn’t allow our sons to say it either…the ignorance has to stop somewhere. And I draw the line there. There is enough ignorance about what is or isn’t racism to wrap around our country a cazillion times..For the record there is a difference between racism and prejudice. Every time any of us labels a person by race, unless asked to describe someone by their race, we are exhibiting our prejudice. I’ve got my hand raised high; I’ve done it. And I try to catch myself but I’ve done it…I’m still working on that too. More proof I’m not perfect. In closing my sincere hope is that we can open up honest exchanges about RACE our country…Its past time. We’ve just TOGETHER put into office , for the 2nd time, the first ever Black man in the highest position of our country. That alone wasn’t enough to stomp out racism..Anyone who thought that was going to be enough wasn’t thinking logically. Rome wasn’t built in a day…nor can something so monumental be solved in one day or action. BUT we’re making progress…and that is wonderful! Like any good parent my DREAM is for my sons to live in a country that they are considered EQUAL…judged based not on the color of their skin..but ALLL of their years of education, their experience, their HEARTS, and all of their hard work. I co-raised my sons to LOVE all people and they do! I refused to teach them to hate..What we did do was teach them to be PROUD of who they are. Which includes embracing their Black heritage. One can’t know where the heck they’re going in life; if they don’t know who they are & where they’ve come from. And while I do have a preference for who will be my love mate/life mate; I’m not racist. Though! I’ve had White guys who have asked me out say they felt that was racist. It isn’t . It is a preference. I just happen to be HONEST about my preference from the jump…Chalk it up to the level of highest respect I have for my highest male role model. My Father/Daddy who is Black..Little girls either are attracted to men like their Fathers or the opposite…I fall into the first category. Think about the preferences people have with who they’re attracted to??? Blondes. Women with big boobs.(even if they’re FAKE) Women with small waists & big butts. Women with small waists/big butts & big boobs! How about women who won’t date a man under 6 foot? Or won’t date anyone that isn’t fit or fyneeeee as heck. My preference just happens to involve skin color. And I absolutely LOVE chocolate skin..and the swagger of a confident brother??? Omg, no substitute for that…. Also, if anyone out there reading this has anything to add or correct me on things I’ve written; feel free. I’m ready to rap if you are…4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only)
Myrlie Evers-Williams, widow of Medgar Evers (Michael Caulfield/Wire Image/Getty Images)
Medgar Evers’ widow to deliver inauguration prayer: President Obama has chosen Myrlie Evers-Williams, widow of slain civil rights icon Medgar Evers, to deliver the invocation at his public swearing-in later this month, the Washington Post reports. This will be the first time a woman, and a layperson rather than a clergy member, has been chosen to perform the invocation.
item by Jenée Desmond-Harris via theroot.com
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**2013 COME AT ME because I am so ready…**
First on the list of things to hope for in 2013..I hope to see more people, especially YOUTH, stop trying to fit your square peg into round holes! There is nothing wrong with being different , U N I Q U E . Granted we all have alot more in common than differs..I don’t care if you’re Black/White/Puerto Rican/Latino/Asian/or Purple, etc .. We were all created as loved children of GOD..or so is my belief. My honest opinion? I think we were created in different colors/hues from different regions/cultural backgrounds 2 keep things/LIFE from getting boring or mundane. One of the beautiful opportunities in this lifetime, or so has been my experience, is to learn about so many different cultures when meeting people! I’m always amazed the many similarities as well in cultures..With an open mind one can broaden their scope of knowledge/tolerance/understanding just by accepting people for who they are. No matter who they are or where they hail from. Daily my mind is opening wider N wider…real talk. I’m a people person , a social butterfly, with a gift 4 gab. I’ve not met many people that I couldn’t find something to chat with…from paupers to princes…I’ll( & have! )talk 2 anyone. And the things I’ve learned in the span of my lifetime from people I’ve met, some just met!, has simply been PRICEless. I’d like to see the YOUTH use less virtual forms of communication(text, email, facebook, twitter, etc…) and actually learn to communicate orally. Face2Face COMMUNICATION is the BEST COMMUNICATION. exClamation mark. Period. It certainly has its advantages… Alright moving right along here are my predictions for 2013.
The good news. JOBS are finally coming back. According to the National Association for Business Economics, by December 2013 , our American economy should be adding up to approx 174,000 jobs a month. That is up from this years’ 157,000 . Slow but steady is better than the standstill we’d been at. Businesses are in a holding pattern ; but in much better shape than they were since the credit crisis MESS
Housing market is on the way back upwards…Inventory of homes on the market is down 20% or more in, many areas of the U.S., from just a year ago. Sales of single-family homes jumped 11% in the 12 months preceding September 2012. As long as the Feds keep buying bonds(so mortgage rates stay low..) demand should remain elevated. And new construction of homes is making a comeback, finally! For instance I work for an organization that is building MEGA housing subdivisions. Such growth is a very, very good sign …Also each new home built adds an average of 3(three) jobs for a year. The ripple effect? Folks will buy furniture , appliances, etc from retailers for their homes…Bottom line housing starts were UP to an annual rate of 872,000 ! That is the highest since the financial crisis. Those numbers are predicted to rise to 900,000 or higher in 2013. IN addition consumer debt is shrinking. Consumers have been working down their levels of installment debt; coupled with low rates for cars & houses has greatly eased the payment burdens.
Well, its official as of tonight. We’re not going to make the deadline; BUT from the latest rumblings I’ve read & heard on the news the results aren’t going to cause any deeper of a recession…I’ll comment more on this when the facts are solid.
Moving forward…2012 was a good year for me. Progressive in many ways. In a new place after moving cross country(from a state I’d lived in for bulk of my adult life..and that I adore!) I’ve gained several awesome trusted friends here already! Also gained an entire brand new church family(including an awesome crew on the choir..love ya’ll!) that welcomed me with open arms…I’m thankful to GOD N my lucky stars! for gifting me with a job that I absolutely LOVE/in an excellent organization/with AWESOME coworkers. I see this upcoming year as one of much continued growth for me. I’m excited! I’m loved/adored/blessed and content. BUT I’ve got a feeeeeeeeling that 2013 , the year of my fabulous 50th Bday, is also going to be the year I fall IN love after long last…**2013 COME AT ME because I’m so ready**
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I’ve declared 2013 as a year for many things ..I’m kick starting it with treating myself the same way I expect others to treat me. (and the say way I treat them) Which means from timetotime I like to be pampered! How easy its been to have lived a life of consistently outsourcing myself to others..As a mother, daughter, sister, wife, grandchild,niece,cousin,best friend, friend, employee, boss, mentor etc, etc, yada yada. Now that the time has come when I’ve got alot of “me” time its time to go from this state of being….>>
Earlier this year for the 1st time ever! my Mom experienced her first day at the spa..All day! It was a Christmas gift from my eldest son(her eldest grandson) . And though it wasn’t my first day spa experience it was by far the most fulfilling. To see my Mom glow from the full body hour long body massage was an awesome thing to see…To think I’d thought she’d have issues undressing(though behind closed doors in a private room in an all female Spa) and laying down for the massage. She couldn’t STOP talking about it when we ran into each other while waiting for our facial sessions. It made me think of how much of a womans’ life can be devoted to her husband/family..and yet not far enough time devoted to just her own “me” time of pampering Self. For ALL that we DO and all that we take care of , tend to, co-raise, raise, manage, and run..we dang sure deserve to pamper ourselves. And often. So I decided to make it one of my New Year vows to myself ..day spa visits for me & Mom bi-monthly. I’ve already hand-picked the perfect place! It is serene and lovely…>>
I’m down with all of the services the spa offers (I have slept peacefully during full body massages & wake UP feeling totally renewed) with the exception of mud baths & hot rock massages. IF anyone tries to ever put hot rocks on my body; I won’t be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth! As IF. And who in the world created something so painful yet called it pleasurable in the first place??? I don’t know exactly what my face looked like the first time I was NAIVE enough to try a hot rock massage. Oh yep, I did try it once. I thought if it was part of a day of pampering at a day spa it had to feeeeeel good. WRONG. I didn’t make it past the first rock on my back..no need to even explain here & now what type of words flew out of my mouth. I couldn’t control it..The next time someone asks me if I’d like the hot rock treatment …the loooook on my face might be similar to this one. >>
Self love is the most important love of all..one can’t offer to another what they don’t have inside of Self. Or feel for self. So least till I’m no longer riding solo..I plan on doing quite a bit of practicing & increasing my level of Self Love. By time my, the ONE, discovers me I should be a pro. And he’ll definitely reap every single reward of all that I’ve learned… Till ya’ll read me again stay UPlifted N blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 N only)
>Update: I’m still working on this…2day is Dec. 15th and I anticipate completing this prior to President Obama’s Inauguration date so stay tuned <