Posted in Dating, LOVE

>MULTI-Dating in a Multi-Tasking Era<


It isn’t far-fetched for single people to date more than one person these days..Heck, I’m willing to bet IF more people did prior to marriage; mayhaps the amount of them who cheat AFTER marriage would be on the decline.(..instead of the opposite) But how can a person who believes in monogamous relationships; date multiple people? I’m soon to embark on such a mission to find out! Truth IS many of us back-in-the-day, considered dating, equal to relationship status. It is not though..That isn’t even part of the definition of what dating is. Good ole Wikipedia defines dating as..’Another meaning of the term dating is to describe a stage in a person’s life when he or she is actively pursuing romantic relationships with different people…’ >>

As with anything; there are benefits & drawbacks to multi-dating..Personally? I’ve not yet encountered either because my quest won’t begin till about the end of next month..Yep, I’m a planner! First benefit I can figure out already? Without having even dipped my toe in the water yet , multi-dating is going to broaden my options. And at a much faster pace than if I were to date one person at a time..At 50 yrs of age? TIME is precious and I don’t plan on wasting any of it>>

Let me first be clear about one thing..Dating IS dating IS dating and does NOT mean SEX. Dating also means not in a relationship/not married/& still single UNTIL a mutual committment has been made. Sex clouds & over-rides good judgement. Sex when casually dating is out-of-place for a reason because SEX isn’t a casual happening. Or least that is the way I see it. Exclamation point. Period>>

Another benefit to multi-dating is it keeps the FUN in dating..Takes the pressure off. My take on it at 50 yrs of age? Take me or leave me as I am. If it isn’t a mutual link-up; then we can be friends. Or not..Personally? There aren’t many folks I’ve met in my life, on any level, that we’re not still friends. Mature folks can handle that. And being that I’m now 50 yrs old; I won’t be dating any little boys. >>

Another benefit I anticipate could happen from multi-dating? Gives both parties a chance to perhaps date out of their ‘usual dating type’. Which, btw, I’ve never done..No one is going to be a perfect match & this allows the chance to date an array of personality types. (after all they can’t all look as superb as Shemar Moore.dangit what a shame that is! ) Doesn’t that sound like FUN already?!? >>

Disadvantages? Hmmm I really can’t think of many that doesn’t differ from dating in general..BUT with honesty..How many reading this know of people who date several people at one time ; yet LIE about it? I’m not lying to get a love relationship; and I’m not lying once I’m in one again. Never has been my style..I think there could be folks, men & woman, who can’t handle dating a multi-dater. No worries; toss them back in the pond & move on. No harm, no foul & thankfully didn’t waste each others’ time. Personally? I have no tolerance for folks with a jealous nature anyway..Zilch. I think the transition from dating to a relationship, would be same as only dating one person. With the exception of single status to taken. >>

14 thoughts on “>MULTI-Dating in a Multi-Tasking Era<

  1. You’ll probably need a smartphone app to keep up with the date schedule πŸ™‚ Also, are you going to tell your suitors that they are just one of the few you’re dating? Or – yes, but just not bring up the topic until it comes up? I know I wouldn’t be too happy to learn that I’m not the only one in consideration – and I’m not even the jealous type.

    Like

    1. Waving X! I’m into honesty; so yep I’ll tell my date(s) that I’m not “limiting” myself to dating one person at a time..Heres my take on it. Or least best I can explain without any prior experience of multi-dating. Honestly? I don’t think this is an UNconventional type of dating. People do this ALL the time..they’re just not forthright about it. Must be cultural or something to “assume” a person is only dating YOU. Right? But the truth of the matter is most of us don’t ask if we’re the only one the other party is dating. First question I ask? Are YOU married? Because I’ve discovered these days ALOT of married men are serial-hard-hitting-flirters..And IF said Sista(moi) were open to having an affair with a married man? My list of suitors to date would be tripled. I’ve put alot of thought into this. As well as the self-appointed goal I had that by years end I’d be engaged..SO many other things happened this year to throw off when I could even begin to re-enter the dating scene(including my own first ever surgery, family death, career trips out of state , etc) Due to that my new goal in the romance aspect of my life is to at the least be dating a potential ‘the One’ by years end. You bring UP an excellent point though..How many men can actually handle an open honesty from the onset of first meeting??? Because honestly that is what it boils down to in my opinion. Honesty. Consider this..Dating a person you’re highly interested in/you’re assuming you’re the only one they are dating/then after a while of awesome dates & connections; they tell you they need space/you later find out they’d been dating someone else all along…Ugh! My preference? To be doing the same thing and NOT limiting myself to just one egg in the basket..I think that is what dating is supposed to be about. Many of us, myself included? Had it backwards for the majority of our lives…Again, if time weren’t of the essence due to my age @50. I’d probably never have come to this decision. At this phase of my life regarding the goals I make for myself. I first list the goals. I then list the ways to reach my goal ..I then start to one by one try those different ways to reach said goal. This is a new way to reach my romance goal. You know I’ll be blogging about it πŸ™‚

      Like

    1. Well…First of all I’m a grown woman & I can do whatever I choose to do. Or least that is the response I’ve got ready when my cell starts getting blown UP with texts/calls when my sons hear about my decision. lol! All 3 of them live cross country from me; but girllll they’ll each have a different take on this..As you know I took a dating hiatus(for the first time in my life) , and its been about 3 yrs now, so their over-protectiveness is going to be in full effect when I date. Let alone date more than one at a time.(don’t think I’ll try to juggle more than 2 or 3) I’m sort of glad the son who is really going to freak out about it, is the furthest away..LOL. In all seriousness they trust my opinion; but they’ll all want to meet the person I wind up making a committment to. Imagine having to be grilled by 3 brothers & brothas all 6 ft and up? (30yrs old , 26 yrs old , 20 yrs old) It’s a good thing I’m worth all of that ! lol, yes this is going to be one heck of a ride

      Like

      1. Ha!That’s exactly what I was thinking … sons and their mamas … don’t mess! I’m glad you’ve got your “story” straight, now let’s hope it’s convincing enough, lol.

        In any case, it’s an exciting time for you. And you are worth all of that and then some πŸ˜‰

        Like

  2. Hello dear friend!
    Good luck on the multi dating. Thank God, I don’t have to be concerned with this. At my age there are about fifty men for one woman. So, even if I was single, I think I’d stay single. The one fella for the most part has and is multi dating all fifty ladies.

    I want to tell you a funny story. When I was young, hmm, they did not have a classifciation for my multi dating. For me my actions were plain stupid. I set up a date with two guys ,same time and same evening. They each showed up within minutes of each other. This was embarassing. I scooted one fella in the kitchen while I lied to the date at the door. Yes I said lied, and gave a reason why I couldn’t go on a date with him. I didn’t own a telephone at this time. I was too poor. Needless to say, the fella, I scooted into the kitchen and I eventually the dating fizzled out. The other one I dated for a while. Every time i looked at him, I saw my self as the liar I was.

    Guilt plaged me. If I could make amends with both of those guys, I would. So, the only thing I can do is to forgive myself.

    May you kick up your heels and love every minute of your dating time.

    Like

    1. Awwww thank you for the well wishes my friend! I am planning on having a fabulous time with this..Taken me a while to come to this conclusion. OMG I fell out laughing when I read your ‘herstory’..See? I just believe in keeping things real; always. And in this day & age there are far too many people ducking & diving & cheating & creeping..That is so not necessary..In my experience? When its a match and the fireworks ignite(usually at the very onset) the mutual parties will not even want to date anyone else..Happens normally & the transition is smooth. I kid you not I’ve found myself married so quickly it made my head spin! This time? I’m taking my time & going to savor the dating process..Love hearing your opinion on things. Hugs!

      Like

    1. Honestly? Took me many moons to flip the script & do it as it is designed..And more than likely if I weren’t divorced plus 50 years old? Might not have come to this conclusion..Back-in-the-day I dated one person/fell IN love/next thing you know I was married. Bam! Never in my life did I consider dating more than one person at a time..Glad I never said I wouldn’t! Though life has a way of making us eat our words sometimes. Living and learning..

      Like

    1. Me too! Lol..Trust and believe I’ll be blogging about it..No names mentioned of course..Got a feeling it WILL be alot of FUN. I couldn’t be more ready for it. There are more people willing to engage in this type of dating than meets the eye. Already a line-up for my venture..

      Like

Really want to hear your innermost thoughts so talk to me..

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s