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Piggy -backing on a cute & great -for- dialogue piece I read on OM’s blog site last night(can find the blog site addy on my faves list) Their piece was of course about questions women ask men; I of course decided to do a piece on the opposite..Majority of my friends are guys & it has been that way all of my life. Over the years they’ve asked me some really cool & WILD questions about women…Here are 10 of popular questions men want to know about women; but are afraid to ASK>>

#1 The number ONE question guys want to know about woman IS..Why ARE women such BITCHES during their period?!?

Fair enough question..And since I’m a straight-shooter I don’t mince words with my answer…Here I go head first>>

I really AM going to respond to the question at hand..Just found this picture though & can’t resist adding it>>

The answer is simple and especially so if one understands the process a woman’s body goes through EVERY month. I won’t bore y’all with a biology session(google it if you don’t already know..) Women DO experience a multitude of hormonal changes each month of every single year…So there is no faking-the-funk about the mood swings. It is REAL..And it is a part of reality that, we as women, have no choice but to deal with..Some of us do it with more grace than others…Some of us experience much more pain than others; monthly like clockwork..From the time I had my first period at 12 yrs of age; there was great pain monthly. Most first days I was floored! And yet worked many first days in my career..Gritted teeth and armed with Midol/Tylenol/Aleve..That cycle of pain lasted until just last Monday..Thats a long, long time guys! From 12 yrs old to 50 yrs old..As a man can you think of 1 thing y’all do for that long that brings you physical pain?!? Toss in the children WE bear over the years & the labor pains & ish we go through to bring Life into the World..YOUR children…I recall my ex-husband recently saying , “How come other women I’ve met act a fool during their period & you don’t? Don’t you get mood swings?” Yep, I do! But I’ve learned how to maintain & just dig my heels IN & lean forward to deal with it. I don’t like being around BITCHES. I hate the times that I act like a BITCH(and I do have the capability when I’m at the top of my pisstivity..) My preference though is to not act like a bitch; especially towards my loved ones..So why would I treat someone I care about or love like dirt, just cause I feel AWFUL? There are prices to pay for having the ability to bring Life into the World..There are prices to pay for loving a woman who has that ability. WE luv ya though! And we don’t mean the nasty, ugly, bitchy things we say during our period..Letting us know we’re just as beautiful during our time of the month helps..Because truth be told WE feel like yuck & less than sexy..Or least that is how I used to feel when I had my period..BUT as of last Monday I don’t have that issue anymore. YAY! Moving right along to Question #2>>

#2 Why DO women fake orgasms? Yet another great question that guys really want to know(yep! they know you’re faking IT) and don’t know how to ask the question>>

This is a difficult question for me to tackle..I’ve NO experience to speak from on this one. I will NOT fake an O. I feel NO need to fake an O. And IF an O isn’t earned; I don’t feeeeel it should be given a fake celebration. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…I take orgasms to heart. Matter of fact I guess I’m spoiled I equate SEX with O’s…Always come hand in hand for me and I thank God & my lucky stars for that! Nevertheless I’ve had those “girl” talks and apparently this isn’t something that comes(no pun intended..) as easily for all women. Had to catch myself many times from saying, OMG why not just tell him what to do so you don’t have to fake IT. Another time I almost said , Good grief I feel SO sorry for you..I bit my tongue on that occasion cause no one wants to hear they’re getting the short end of the stick(literally…) I say all of this to say my answer to the question IS multi-layered..a. Some women have never had an O ; so they figure it best to fake it for YOU. b. Most women know a man’s ego is amped UP when he knows he’s pleased his wife /significant other physically. c. Alot of women are so uncomfy speaking to their guy @ SEX; they don’t know how to bring themselves to tell him what they like..I guess they think it will hurt his feelings to KNOW he’s not getting the mission accomplished…On the other hand my guy friends are very open with their feelings on the matter..They’d prefer if a woman would just tell them what to DO to help them reach an orgasm. Jeez go figure the solution is probably just that simple. Enough said>>

#3 question guys want to ask their woman = How can you discuss our sex life with your girlfriends?

I’m not down with this one either..I think what we do as a couple behind closed doors; should rightfully stay behind closed doors. Much as I dig my girlfriends it isn’t their business how good my husband is putting it on me in the bedroom! The BIG koolaid smile on my face should be a clue..Having said that as women we do have healthy girl-fest chats..I just don’t feel its cool to talk too much about the ultra-personal nature of one’s love relationship. I’d not want my husband to tell his friends about my goodies either! I do know though that as women we process things/experiences verbally…Well not all of us, but a lot of us DO. This certainly translates to chatting with our girlfriends…But there should be a line drawn at what is discussed about current love relationships. Past relationships ? That is an entire different matter and it IS discussed, at will , with our girlfriends…So the best excuse reason I can give for women who talk their current sex lives with their girlfriends? They get caught UP while conversing & forget momentarily it is a topic they shouldn’t discuss with their friends>>

#4 . Does SIZE matter or not with women?

Ego-busting question alert! The answer is what most guys think it IS..Even though many a woman has LIED to her man and said the opposite..Truth be told yep! size DOES matter..And I’ll give my best explanation as I can muster up on why>>

I’ll try to keep this response brief..Though in actuality it is a topic which is worthy of its very own post..Based on reading an array of books/magazines/personal experience/experiences recanted to me by girl friends/& recent survey findings of the Journal of Sexual Medicine SIZE matters about a vaginal orgasm. Those type of orgasms were achieved by a longer penis. Probably because a longer one can stimulate the full length of the vagina & the cervix. Makes perfect sense, right? Thus women who have only had vaginal orgasms and not clitoral orgasms; said they prefer a longer penis. Now most of us grown folks know that women can have an O by other than just sexual intercourse..Heck, a woman can “think” herself to a peak! Also a clitoral O differs from a vaginal O; and those women who have peaked from a clitoral O feel that size does NOT matter…However, it’s also been concluded that since the front wall of the vagina is so close to the internal parts of the clitoris; stimulating the vagina without activating the clitoris should be quite impossible..So vaginal orgasms could just be the same as clitoral orgasms!Hope all of that jibberish makes as much sense to y’all ; as it does to me. Women who are comfy in their sexuality have learned that so to them size does NOT matter..Moving right along>>

#5 Why is it SO important to women that guys put the toilet seat DOWN???>>


This is another question that deserves a full post on its own..I’ll try to keep it brief..Quite honestly I think it is self-explanatory..A toilet seat comes WITH a lid for a REASON. Jeeeez..IF it was meant to be wide open like a hole outside in the ground; would it have a lid? Nope, I don’t think it would..Plus it looks better with the lid down! And the MOST important reason of all is that some of us women are sick & tyeeed of falling down into your toilet when we stumble, in the dark half-sleep, to use the potty. That is one very rude awakening..Bottom line is this IF men want their sweet cute fine significant other to stay over-night? PUT THE SEAT DOWN. It seems to me to be a no-brainer..As for husbands? When Momma is happy; everyone IS happy. And when Momma is wet from using the potty in the dark??? Well I think y’all can figure that one out..Next question>>

#6 Why do women love to shop SO much? Why do women have to buy SO many shoes??>>


This is the first topic I’m going to say what should’ve been clear from the onset..I can’t speak for ALL women..First things first. I have a shoe fetish. I readily admit it..I love shoes! And I’ve got a lot of them…BUT I only shop sales..I won’t pay full price for anything..Unless it is an emergency and I don’t have time to shop for a sale. And yep, there are such things as clothes/shoes emergencies..I get a warm fuzzy feeling from shopping..Just makes me feel gooood. I will shop for any /everyone..Family/friends/coworkers/and of course me..I’ve found one of the quickest ways to lift my own spirits? GO shopping..woooo hoooo. So I would guess other women that shop , a lot, feel the same way..But I also get a form of daily exercise on a lot of weekdays..By walking the full length of the mall on my lunch break..So I look at it as a win/win situation..Never in my life have I forced my man /husband to go shopping with me. Just please don’t ask me to go golfing with you! I have done more time on golf courses than I care to recall & I hate it..It is one boring activity! Except for driving around in the little carts; which I’ve mastered. There are some things couples should do alone..If my future husband doesn’t like shopping I’ll be just fine with that..I’ve no problem shopping by myself. Answer to the question IS , women shop because it makes them feel good to shop. They enjoy it. And we don’t make it mandatory for you to come shop with us… Exclamation point. Period. >>

#7 Why do women stress about SO many things?>>

What I probably should’ve added from the get-go is this: Not all women act/think/behave/or stress in the same manner..Handling stress & pressure is a skill set; and some women have better coping skills than others..Having said ALL of that we women have ALOT of pressure on us these days>>

We as women wear a multitude of hats..In the dictionary under multi-tasking; there should be a picture of a woman! We feel pressure to be the best Mom/the best wife/we feel pressure to cook our own meals/to grow or buy organic veggies/to be fabulous over-achievers at work/to be or feel young/to have a hobby/to be part of church and social organizations/to join PTA/to be politically & culturally aware..and IF we have over 30 mins spare time? We’ll quickly find something to DO..Truly like hamsters on a wheel! And on top of all of that we work out as much as possible & eat healthier than we’ve ever done before..WOW thats a lot. Add to that the fact that we’re told stressing isn’t good for our overall health or well-being..Ask any woman who stresses if she wants to stress? I’m willing to bet the answer is NO. We’re a work in progress and constantly try to not stress on things..It is why couple get-a-ways from timetotime are so greatly appreciated by us. So instead of asking your woman why does she stress about so many things? Ask her if there is anything YOU can do to reduce her stress load from timetotime..Or just surprise her with unexpected plans for a weekend get-a-way..The rewards will be heaven-sent!

#8 Why do women ask their man questions that they really do NOT want an honest answer to? (such as the classic , “Honey do I look fat in this outfit?>>

This is honestly a question I’ve never asked anyone; let alone my man. But from what I’ve heard on the topic? My BEST advice to guys? Do NOT answer the question. There is NO correct answer. Any answer you respond with will only get you in trouble with your woman. I have to assume either its insecurity that a woman would ask this question OR she’s fishing for compliments.(if it’s the latter case you’re not on your JOB complimenting your woman) IF I were faced with such a question I’d re-direct..Flip the script! Because yep, it is more than likely a set UP. Re-direct by saying something like @ Now baby you know I think you look good in anything you wear! Or something..just don’t answer the first question. Honestly? IF your communication is healthy & honest in your relationship; I’d ask her why would you ask me such a question hon when probably nothing I say is going to be the RIGHT answer????

#9 Why do women continue to wear so much make-up/fake nails/fake hair/high heels/etc. ; when its clear men prefer natural beauty?>>

Not all women revolve their lives,including their appearance, on what men will think..Having said that a great deal of us, do wish to look pleasing to men. IF you’re single , heterosexual woman this should be a given..Some women don’t have the confidence to just be a natural beauty..Other women have been taught or shown that beauty comes in makeup bottles! (and don’t realize TOO much makeup looks terrible; not to mention it suffocates the skin thus aging them quicker…) Personally I like a small amount of makeup to accent my beauty; which is why I think makeup was created. I ditched the fake nails a few years back(and natural nails keeps so much more money in my pocket) and fake hair was never my style..I can totally understand why men prefer natural beauty. IF men made themselves UP & when I saw them without all the get UP; and they looked totally different? I’d feel like I’d been duped. And that is exactly what men feel when women do the same. Enough said. >>

#10 Why do women stop wanting SEX after they’ve linked up by marriage ?>>

I honestly can’t even begin to answer this question. I’ve no experience with this ISSUE. And I view it as a major issue. Marriage in my opinion is the only legitimate situation to have as MUCH sex as one pleases. Freely and without all the pressure of having to have safe sex outside of marriage. I also do NOT think women stop “wanting” to have sex. I feel women enjoy it just as much as men. Some women however feel it isn’t lady like to admit it. There is nothing further from the truth. We’re human. And I’m sure its confusing as heck to men to be involved with a woman who loved sex before marriage(to get him); and then nip it in the bud or limit it after marriage…

Well that is all for now folks. Until I read/write y’all again stay UPlifted & blessed! 4 ever Sincere, Berna (the 1 & only)