Posted in ~~FREE Flow of UNscripted Thoughts~~

>*>*When a Guy offers To help a Woman he IS….True or False?


This is an actual question I had to ponder long & hard before accepting help for my move this weekend..Had several offers from several guys; but since I wasn’t sure what their intent was/IS I said  politely thanks , but no thank U..Curious to see if any other single women find themselves in such a predicament..I’ve been TOLD by guy friends; that most of the time when a guy offers to help a single woman to do ANYthing; he IS trying to get into her panties. Really isn’t any way to sugar coat that..so I didn’t. So taking a poll to get this dialogue started; men!  & woman welcome..****When a guy offers to help a single woman out; his actual intentions are a sexual/intimate   proposition. True or False?

My answer, MY reality, is ….T. T for True. Before anyone gets all UPtight, huffy & righteous about that answer..riddle me this guys. And this isn’t a multiple choice response; go with the very first answers  that comes to mind. Ever offer to help a woman  you thought was ugly? Heard of the damsel in distress syndrome? Does helping a woman make you feel like a real man? With all honest I don’t ever recall a guy helping me “just” to help me..Their hidden agenda was always pretty clear. And while it might not have been offered just to get in my panties; my being attractive played part in it. I’ve talked to other women who have “wised” UP to this syndrome; and the unspoken rule is. a.  A  single woman should be careful accepting help from a man. b. A single  woman should be clear that her accepting isn’t a silent , Yes. c. IF a single  woman accepts help from a man she “is” feeling; thanking him with a flirty smile & genuine sincerity will almost certainly assure him the door is open for him. (the following quotes are from Lovepanky.com…>

A man’s ego swells when he helps a girl

When a man helps a woman, shows off his brute strength to her and gets thanked for it, he feels good about the whole thing. He feels more powerful and happy, knowing that he was able to impress a woman with his abilities. And when a man feels good about himself, he’ll obviously like the damsel in distress who helped him feel better about himself.

Most women hate a damsel in distress.

Men on the other hand, can’t help falling for damsels in distress.

For men, it’s just inevitable.

Every time a man sees a pretty lass who needs help, a slob of a man turns into a chivalrous knight in shining armor.

Well, at least until he’s made enough of an impression to make her fall for him.

Ask him to help you in a man’s job

Are you having trouble carrying something heavy? Do you need help fixing a car, or perhaps a door hinge? Or are you feeling nervous to walk down the street after dusk? Ask a man for help.

A man likes helping a woman when he feels like he’s doing a superior job. Make him assume there’s no way you could ever have made it through without his help and his ego will swell. He’ll definitely feel more like a man around you. And yes, he’ll like you for it.

~~~~~Problem IS I don’t do the damsel in distress act well; at all. When I ask for a guy’s help; I genuinely need it. Quite frankly I don’t “act” well either..I’m a believer in not playing games or acting out life. I’m living it in full color & with a very big paint brush. I’ve learned that men are created physically stronger; and IF you’re truly my friend I figure you should want to help me out! Because if you’ve paid attention you’ll have realized I don’t ask for help often..and when I do realize an unspoken “invite” is included in the offer I’ve no issue with politely silently or verbally saying NO. Part B is I won’t ever ask & I’ll instead find a way to do it myself. And where is the fun in that? Plus can’t we all get things accomplished faster in life(and sometimes more efficiently) with a little help from our friends? Yes, yep, and yea..

12 thoughts on “>*>*When a Guy offers To help a Woman he IS….True or False?

  1. guys are wired to help, and not just for the hero’s reward. Men are capable of friendly gestures.

    If you are too self-sufficient you don’t need a man. If you love someone, let him help you, it makes you closer ( barring exceptional neediness ).

    If you always want to have friends, buy a pickup truck. Every weekend someone will want to hang out… .and move.

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  2. Reblogged this on Spirit In Action and commented:
    Thank you for posting this. This is an important question not only for single women but for all of us. If we want to recreate our society as a golden age/ heaven on Earth type world we need to question when we act with ulterior motives.
    Surely we can help because we like someone on multiple levels but if someone offered to help me only due to sexual interest that would frankly creep me out. Not Sexy. At all!
    In tribal societies everyone is helpful to one another because it makes life easier for all. But tribal people don’t have the weird traumas that affect interpersonal relations in colonized societies. (Derrick Jensen explains why this is very well in his book A Language Older Than Words)

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    1. Ahhh that sounds like a book I need to add to my reading list..I try to be careful regarding this topic because I am very comfy in my own skin & have a natural gift for gab..Sometimes that can be misinterpreted by guys as flirting..Just being nice! Of course there is a very major difference in when I flirt(which I admit I am a a flirt..) & when I’m not. And even then I’m always mindful to only do so when its not going to be misinterpreted. Slippery slope indeed..

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  3. Honestly, I’ve done it both ways myself: in some cases, I may have helped a girl with something hoping to improve my chances with her (though I’m not sure it actually worked), and with others I was just being nice without an ulterior motive. But there is nothing inherently really romantic about moving furniture (unless you choose to make it romantic 🙂 ). So even if their intentions are not 100% pure, you can in most cases ignore that since it isn’t a date. Just make it very clear that you’ll be paying for their help with pizza and/or booze so they don’t get the wrong expectations (they will anyway, but they won’t be getting them up too high). Of course, if a guy is desperate or unstable, better to just say “no thanks” beforehand, so that you don’t end up with all your furniture out on the street and no one to help you move it.

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    1. There you are! I was hoping you’d chime in..glad to see you took a break from work for a minute. And yep! your response reeks of honesty..I can SO relate to your viewpoint. A learned (thats a word isn’t it?) woman realizes chivalry isn’t dead; thankfully!; but she also realizes it can also sometimes come with a cost attached. I don’t play games with folks heads nor hearts; so discerning when to accept help from guys can be tricky for me from time to time. LOL@furniture out on the street…Now that would just be foul!

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      1. Chivalry isn’t dead, but it always came with strings, and occasionally even chastity belts. But helping somebody to move furniture doesn’t have to involve chivalry – two of my straight male friends helped me move recently, and I never for a moment thought that they were trying to get into my pants 🙂

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  4. Actually it could go either way darlin. There are some guys that will offer to help you out just to be nice, because they know you. And there are gonna be some guys that offer to help you out because they find you attractive and want to as you say “get into your panties”. So in my opinion you have to take it on a case by case basis and not just lump all men in together. Regardless of the motive, most guys will help you out and all that’s required as payment is pizza and beer when they’re done. Now should you find yourself developing a mutual interest, i’m sure the gentleman would not refuse you darlin.

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    1. Virtual high five ^ hon..As always you show your undying support & insightful male perspective. I love it always & treasure it from way back. Surely someone else other than my awesome X has thoughts to share….You out there V.S.?

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