>”There is plenty of research on the notion popularized by Alfred Kinsey that women reach their sexual peak much later than men do, so older women and younger men may be especially sexually compatible.
“I think men are deeply attracted to a woman who knows what it’s all about and is sexually free,” said Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist at the University of Washington and a sex columnist and author. “The idea of a woman who is sexually knowledgeable and passionate is very attractive to a lot of young men who are getting more hesitant interactions or conditional sexual access from younger women.”> Quoted from NY Times article@Re-Thinking the Older Woman – Younger Man Relationship.
^Ready to hear my thoughts on this exciting topic? Here is my take on it..
First things first..I don’t consider myself a cougar by any means..Heck I’m still adjusting to being called Ma’am instead of Miss! Its as if it happened over night…and yet the infamous ‘they’=alot of folks..say over & over they’re shocked I’m knocking on 50 yrs old. So with that as the backdrop I was asked out by a much younger guy today and for once I was at a loss for words. Rare indeed for me…a. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings b. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings! c. I did NOT know if I really, really , really wanted to say no (OMG he is such eye candy) d. I did NOT want to say no. BUT..
Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately because I’m almost 50 yrs old; I tend to think before I leap. Dayum! Dayum! Dayum! Long gone are the days when I could just blame foolish whimsical actions on just being ..young , dumb &..well ya’ll know the rest. Odd thing IS though I don’t feel like 50 yrs old either. Most days I feel as IF I could climb tall mountains! Run laps around the gym. Do back flips! Hula hoop till I drop! (great exercise by the way..) I’ve got the energy of the energizer bunny. Am a ball of blazing fire & an admitted handfull..until I sit still at night. And then? After being awake since O’dark thirty every morning when I sit; I am OUT like a light. I don’t mean half doze off. I don’t mean a light sleep. I mean when I’ve literally fallen to sleep some evenings sitting straight up. So how in the heck can I even remotely consider..dating someone so much younger his evening probably BEGINS when I’m ready to hit the sack?!?>
ALL kind of thoughts & scenarios were swirling through my mind; as I considered it. First thought was YES! 2nd thought was WHY NOT? 3rd thought was what would my eldest son think?!? (whose only a couple yrs old than the brother asking the question) 4th thought was ; What would my Daddy think? My mother?!? (she might not think it was such a bad idea come to think of it..) What would Jesus think? Just kidding, lol! Jesus was the last thing on my mind …But ya’ll get the picture. I knew it was a BAD idea and yet a part of me wanted to go for it. So after I’m sure to him seemed like an eternity…and I know this because he finally said. “Are you alright?” (and NOPE I wasn’t. suddenly I felt dizzy, hot! dang hot flashes, and my usual smoothness was gone..Want to know what I said?>
I told him the truth…Said I’d love to go out on a date with you; BUT I know it wouldn’t work out. Couldn’t possibly, because we’re worlds apart. Not just by years in age; but in life experiences. Sure we’d have a BALL..for a quick minute. And then? I’d tire , and quickly, of having to have plenty of ‘teaching moments’…You’d tire, probably not as quickly , of me not wanting to hang out every weekend/me not being able to stay up late as you do/the topics I’m interested in/the passions I am passionate about and etc, etc yada yada…
I can appreciate , even admire, women like Mariah Carey & Demi Moore for winning the battle over common sense..But I’ve grown to a point in my life that I just can’t do that. Physically ironically my best mate-match is a much younger brother…Mentally though a much younger brother is no match for me. And knowing that is why I can’t go with what is a natural biological (!) flow…What I’m banking on? Is that my GOD has chosen someone MY age; that is just as fit & energy-filled as lil ole me..created just to love ME. For the rest of our lives. The waiting is the tough part! Though I’ve got a feeling he’ll be worth the wait..Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna (the 1 & only)