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Before anyone out there gets all UPtight..this post is ALL in fun. It is a direct piggy-back female version to Opinionated Man’s blog post called ‘Women are Crazy’. I thought it would be cool, challenging and FUN to also poke fun at a couple things about MEN..Going to try my best to match his wit/skills. ~

>Mayhaps the best way to open the door to this topic wide right out the gate is to begin with the..Remote Control. I’ll keep it simple guys so there should be NO issue with understanding the message. I took a vote from as many women as I could gather up and the general consensus is this= Ya’ll can HAVE total control over the T.V. remote control;  as long as you agree to ALWAYS put the toilet seat down. Deal? Alright, cool moving right along…

>Now here is a whopper. WE women voted unanimously  on this one= We’ll serve you breakfast in bed every morning/run your bath water/have dinner cooked when you get home from work/get UP in the middle of the night to get you a glass of water/never “claim” to have a headache when you wake us UP in the middle of the night for some loving, etc etc yada yada..as long as you NEVER take issue with the few times we might ask you to pick up our feminine products. Don’t trip..trust me on this one, NO ONE in the store will think its  yours! Deal? Alright cool lets move on I’m just getting started..

>This is sans a GPS system or mapquest..Alright guys we figured it out. WE know when you know that we’re lost! We also will let ya’ll fake the funk for a while driving around and around in circles..We’ll also act as if we didn’t see the same streets and buildings already the first 3 times we passed them. Ok? But it might be nice, every once in a while, if you just admit it and say, “Know what baby;  I have NO clue where we are or how to get where we’re going!” And then just stop to ask someone else for directions. *slapping forehead* Enough said, moving right along…

>Guys? Please stop believing dubious relationship tips your guy friends are passing along to you. Every woman deserves to be treated /trusted based on her OWN merit. Same as you wish to be regarded/treated/respected…ya’ll having fun yet? There is more…

>When your woman says ‘Lets talk baby’ for the love of God don’t trip! It doesn’t mean she is dumping you(unless you know you’ve been messing UP badly…) ..what it means it she wants your undivided attention to talk about something that is important to her. Keep in mind women get oxytocin from having deeeeep , meaningful talks with you.(also from nursing babies & sex) Whereas men mainly get the same from having sex! Don’t believe me? Google it… So just relax/LISTEN/ and things will go smoothly so you can get back to  your fave T.V. show. Agreed? I’m almost finished now…

>Guys? There is NO reason to start an argument or worse LIE to go hang with your guy friends. Matter of fact a mature, self confident , self assured woman..knows you NEED your male-bonding time. So go have a good time; you deserve it. Grown folks need their own space sometimes..its normal..but to lie about it or start an argument over foolishness is a deal-breaker. Gets negative amount of brownie points in my world. Honesty still counts with some of us

>A few “nevers”= NEVER call your woman a Bi_ch! I don’t care if she is acting like one; don’t call her out of her name with this word. It is one of the worst things a man can call a woman. And IF she acts like this on a consistent basis..then perhaps you need to re-evaluate what type of woman you’re attracted to. There is no need for such ugliness…Also NEVER ask your woman if she’s gained a few pounds. Do NOT make any comment even close to , fat. Now she might very well be blowing up weight wise..but a wise man won’t tell her that. Oh! if she is acting cranky; never, EVER, even on a bad day say that its cause she is on her period..let her say it. But you better not . Don’t say I didn’t warn ya’ll..Alright, here comes my last one…

>Last but not least..stop saying we don’t value your opinion. We do! Most of us anyway..we’d not be with YOU if we didn’t respect you/adore you/need you/desire you/love you. Which includes respecting your male perspective..there is nothing more comforting to a woman than to hear her man’s honest opinion. Why? Because we know he has our best interest at heart and has our back…At the end of the day WE can’t live without ya’ll. Man and WOman weren’t  meant to live without love. And that takes 2. Love is what makes us thrive and flourish..and everyone, wants to be loved. The beautiful thing about a relationship is when it works! And it takes 2 people who accept each other with  flaws/faults..none of us are perfect. Love is worth putting up with a few minor issues..or least that is the way I see it. Until I write/read ya’ll again stay UPlifted & blessed. 4ever sincere, Berna(the 1 & only)