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Can ya’ll believe I got a special request! WOW ..I’m not one 2 try to disappoint so I figured I’d go for it..Plus might B kind of fun to write out what my actual expectations are. For the people that requested this I believe(I didn’t even ask..) probably by this time are curious (because I talk sooo much smack about this topic!) @ what type of brother I’d call a “potential” (mentioned that briefly in a prior post) N for the record I doubt highly if I’ll have this much freee time when I’m no longer single.Although who knows because I “make” time (at Odark thirty times like now..) in my very, busy schedule to do what I love 2 do..Write. Only place I don’t yet write is church. (and I’ll probably figure out a way soon to do that 2) So stay tuned folks(and btw its AWESOME to get the feeedback from ya’ll online and my offline family/friends/coworkers that my blog is enjoyable to read . even my ex reads this..blew my hair back! that is my way of saying I am humbled…) later after church I’m going to list (yep I’ve kept mental notes..) what I desire in a lifemate. The must haves. The wont do withouts. The wont settle for lesses. The DEALbreakers..The things I’m willing 2 work with..My entire list. Buckle UP this is going to be good..I can hardly wait 2 see this list myself. 🙂
I’m finally back! Wasn’t sure I was going to make it back 2night but here we go…First things First..Disclaimer: IF this post appears to be all about ME..it is because it IS. At this point of my life, for the 1st! time in my life, I’ve had the unique opportunity for the past 15 months to just do ME. Sons raised N in college(in other states than where I reside), single, divorced-yet-very-good-friends-with-exhusband who also resides cross country, happily/gainfully employed by a government entity, HAPPY! , busy, busy, busy, and very content to do me while I wait on the ONE to discover me. Once he finds me then my ” just doing me” time will end. Far from desperate and trying to use every moment of precious time to live life to the fullest. There is life sans a man…N its so very good to me. YET its my belief that the missing link that will amp things UP and make life even sweeter is when my I becomes a We. Now that this is out of the way lets move on 🙂
As stated in a prior post I believe there are 3 categories guys fall into. Ever heard that old adage@many fish in the sea? It is so very true yet in my hearts of hearts I believe there IS truly only ONE out there that God created just to love me N only me..I believe he’s looking for me! And I’m standing over here, at 5’4, waving my hand in the air so he can see me in the crowd. Here I stand and am I ever SO ready for you to walk into my life…yet staying busy in the interim and BEing patient. Or if truth be told I’m trying very hard to B..So anywayz as I was saying guys fall into 3 categories when meeting new folks. 1. Potential. defined simply as a potential lifemate..2. Just friends..right out the gate I can sense this..3. Toss them back into the pond & quickly! dont have an interest to even be friends because their qualities are severely lacking anything remotely near respectful..Now that ya’ll know the background on what I was referencing lets move on to my list. Ready? Get set. Lets go!
the Must haves=
- must B a practicing Christian! My #1 N I won’t settle 4 less
- must B a responsible parent physically, emotionally N mentally(if a parent)
- MUST have good communication skills! my #2 because I’m not a mind reader nor will I pretend 2 B.
- is DONE fishing. simply said I’ve got NO love/patience 4 a player. exclamation point period.
- emotionally available N if this needs 2 B explained then you aren’t..so therefore don’t qualify
- kind . yep, this honestly matters 2 me
- their “word” is like a handshake(N solid) used 2 B backintheday..this truly matters 2 me also
- HONEST..this is my #3 and goes hand in hand with their “word” being solid
- Confident! I truly dig Alpha brothers so this comes naturally…
- LOYAL..this is a close runner up to my #2..another exclamation point period.
- RESPECTS his parents..this is a MUST..the adage@ if he respects his mother he’ll respect his woman is true
- TRUSTworthy ..this ranks somewhere between my #1 N #2
- is cognizant of my feelings N mindful that I’m a naturally sensitive person
- *HEALTH conscience* Life longevity is important 2 me. And feeeeeeling good from the inside out. While I don’t require someone that is a body builder I do desire someone who cares about their appearance including their health N what shape they’re in physically. Maintaining oneself physically/mentally/spiritually/emotionally is something I feel is important
the things I am willing 2 work with=
- I pray he has an appreciation 4 music N can dance! however I’m willing 2 work with it if he doesn’t
- practices chilvary..while I do love this it is something I can take or leave..long as he is goooood 2 me
- can appreciate a woman who can amuse herself from time2time(my writing!) and he can have “whatever”time(whatever HE chooses 2 do also)
- attentive N fully engaged when interacting…this matters 2 me and shouldve been in the must-haves!
- can’t handle monogamy..I can’t/won’t deal with cheating. highest form of disrespect to me N our “we”
- asks 2 borrow money the 1st 90 days of dating..OMG this is so much a dealbreaker!
- LIES to me or is deceitful. this is a runner UP of my #1. I’m an open book and my man will B also
- tries 2 change ME and won’t accept ME/love ME/cherish ME as I am. another close runner UP of my #1
- has substance abuse issues=Illegal drugs isn’t my style. N though I gave UP social drinking quite some time ago (years ago now..) N I’ve no problem with folks drinking socially; matter of fact I don’t know many folks who don’t drink socially (tho I ride on a natural high N have just as much FUN now as when I was a social drinker..)BUT there is a major difference between a social drinker and abusing alcohol. N if I have 2 explain the difference than you probably don’t qualify..
- MARRIED..this is my #1 in the dealbreaker category. Within the 1st few mins of meeting a woman 1st time a brother SHOULD rightfully make sure it IS clear if he’s married…Nowadayz I guess the IN thing is to not wear a wedding ring.Pfft! I won’t get deep on this topic(thats another topic for another time…) Just please do NOT attempt to “hit” on me while married; for I won’t be held responsible for what will come from my lips..N nope! with that kind of beginning we can NOT be friends either..